Mother forces son to drink hot sauce as punishment

[Trixieplus2]

Sorry, but I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. That article made me want to gag. I smacked my kids hands, so what. The are fine, well adjusted, above average intelligence(according to tests and in ap classes) They are the most non violent kids I know. Me occasionally smacking their hands if they repeatedly touched something they weren't supposed to, didn't hurt them one bit.
If you don't believe in it fine, but please enough with those silly articles.

And by the way, I thought about it when I did it. It was only after repeated no and don't touch and moving them away. Sorry but I can't and won't move my bid screen TV so those darling little hand aren't temped. They learned not to touch, I can and did take my kids anywhere and they never bothered anything they weren't supposed to. I am sorry but there are way to many little brats running around these days. If parents would just grow a back bone and quit trying to analyze everything we would be better off. Parents don't parent anymore. You don't have to spank all the time, for some it doesn't work, for mine well 2 of mine it did. YOu can't lump a certain discipline into one pass or fail. Montessorie is its own way of thinking and not everyone agrees with it. I am undecided. Sensitive parents as the article calls them are the one with rotten kids. I have seen enough to know that. YOu can be loving and caring and sensitive and still spank. Just sensitive , and you have a hellion in the making.

I just love the way you keep referring to children as rotten and brats. Saying people need to grow a back bone and basically just being rude when I have done nothing of the sort. I will not be addressing you again. If you don't like the articles don't read them.

 

[perdidochas]

As much as people are attached to it, spanking isn't great discipline, it's just punishment.

Most people just fall back on the argument, "Well, my parents did it!" For most kids it just teaches them to be afraid of the smack and not learn WHY they shouldn't do -- should do -- a certain thing.

Our parents didn't know any better. We have SO many more tools and strategies to use; it's a shame more people don't try them.

A good parent needs a combination of strategies and consequences. Punishment is one of those, and spanking is a type of punishment. I agree that using spanking as the only or main form of shaping behavior is silly, and doesn't work. However, sometimes physical pain is the only thing that can get a child's attention. Pain evolved as a way to shape our behavior.

That said, spanking was the least used way of shaping behavior that we used with our two DSes (age 10 and 12 now). We primarily used reinforcement of good behavior (and still do). However, there are some things that punishment does a good job of stopping. One is that if used very sparingly in combination with explanation, etc., it works to stop kids being violent with each other. If overused, spanking is almost useless to use for behavior modification. If used sparingly, it is one of many tools that a parent can use to produce well behaved, happy children.

 

[MELSMICE]

One word....respect.

Great post. I do not spank out of anger either.

Another great post. But, if you discipline your children you might damage their psyche.

My children respect me and others, both adults and their peers. I do not spank.

I'm not sure why someone would spank if it is not out of anger or frustration.

My children were disciplined without spanking or hitting growing up and their psyche was not damaged either.

And what is wrong with punishment.

There is nothing wrong with punishment. I, personally, don't see spanking as punishment. I see it as someone being violent towards someone else.

I realize others have different opinions about spanking & say it's just a "pop, smack, tap". Call it what you want, you are hitting your child.

Sorry, but I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. That article made me want to gag. I smacked my kids hands, so what. The are fine, well adjusted, above average intelligence(according to tests and in ap classes) They are the most non violent kids I know. Me occasionally smacking their hands if they repeatedly touched something they weren't supposed to, didn't hurt them one bit.
If you don't believe in it fine, but please enough with those silly articles.

And by the way, I thought about it when I did it. It was only after repeated no and don't touch and moving them away. Sorry but I can't and won't move my bid screen TV so those darling little hand aren't temped. They learned not to touch, I can and did take my kids anywhere and they never bothered anything they weren't supposed to. I am sorry but there are way to many little brats running around these days. If parents would just grow a back bone and quit trying to analyze everything we would be better off. Parents don't parent anymore. You don't have to spank all the time, for some it doesn't work, for mine well 2 of mine it did. YOu can't lump a certain discipline into one pass or fail. Montessorie is its own way of thinking and not everyone agrees with it. I am undecided. Sensitive parents as the article calls them are the one with rotten kids. I have seen enough to know that. YOu can be loving and caring and sensitive and still spank. Just sensitive , and you have a hellion in the making.

I would assume you are generalizing when you say there are too many brats running around these days. How do you know whether those "brats" are spanked or not spanked.

I'll never forget the time my dance teacher, who is actually me mentor, came to visit when I had my twins. My oldest was almost 3 at the time. She insisted on climbing on the picnic table in our patio. I repeatedly got up & sat her down while telling her that a table was for sitting at, not climbing on & that she could fall & hurt herself. I probably did it a dozen times or more. It was frustrating. It never crossed my mind to spank her.

My teacher finally said to me, "Wow, I have to compliment you on how consistent and patient you've been with her while teaching her right from wrong." It really reinforced my decision to not spank my children.

My DH always says their job is to test us & that our job as parents is to outlast them.

 

[JarethDrakul]

This kind of reminds me of an episode of Supernanny I saw where both the parents idea of punishing their child's behaviour was doing the exact same thing.

 

[shortbun]

It's hideous. If you think making a child drink hot sauce is normal punishment, seek help, imho. Grownups who can not find a more natural conseunce for a 7yo should lose custody of their child until they complete anger management, parenting and coping classes. No excuse. The cold shower is almost as bad as putting a child in scalding water. No child should have to endure this kind of punishment. Makes me think the adult has some kind of brain damage. Take the child away. Send him to me. I will love him. Hideous!!!
ETA: How do you hit a small child without being angry. Premeditated hitting of a helpless child almost seems worse than doing it in anger.

 

[MusiqChic99]

The day it is ok to go up and slap an adult for doing something you didn't like...then we shall spank our children.

The day you can say something I dont like and I can make you as an adult drink hot sauce...we shall make our children drink it.

The day we can put an adult in a cold shower for doing something wrong...then we shall make our children take cold showers.

Why is it not so bad to do something to your children but you would think twice about doing it to an adult that did something you weren't happy about??? I think some people push their kids around because they can. My son is 4 and he gets the same respect as my hubby. When he losses his cool, he is asked to take a time out and that's exactly what we as adults do when we lose our cool. And I have a very well behaved child that I've never have to spank or put hot sauce in his mouth....nor would I ever think about doing either. He is talked as a young person...because that is what he is.

Common sense is not very common these days.

 

[ccgirl]

A good parent needs a combination of strategies and consequences. Punishment is one of those, and spanking is a type of punishment. I agree that using spanking as the only or main form of shaping behavior is silly, and doesn't work. However, sometimes physical pain is the only thing that can get a child's attention. Pain evolved as a way to shape our behavior.

That said, spanking was the least used way of shaping behavior that we used with our two DSes (age 10 and 12 now). We primarily used reinforcement of good behavior (and still do). However, there are some things that punishment does a good job of stopping. One is that if used very sparingly in combination with explanation, etc., it works to stop kids being violent with each other. If overused, spanking is almost useless to use for behavior modification. If used sparingly, it is one of many tools that a parent can use to produce well behaved, happy children.

Just wanted to say that this is a well thought out and excellent post.

My children respect me and others, both adults and their peers. I do not spank.

I'm not sure why someone would spank if it is not out of anger or frustration.

My children were disciplined without spanking or hitting growing up and their psyche was not damaged either.


There is nothing wrong with punishment. I, personally, don't see spanking as punishment. I see it as someone being violent towards someone else.

I realize others have different opinions about spanking & say it's just a "pop, smack, tap". Call it what you want, you are hitting your child.


I would assume you are generalizing when you say there are too many brats running around these days. How do you know whether those "brats" are spanked or not spanked.

I'll never forget the time my dance teacher, who is actually me mentor, came to visit when I had my twins. My oldest was almost 3 at the time. She insisted on climbing on the picnic table in our patio. I repeatedly got up & sat her down while telling her that a table was for sitting at, not climbing on & that she could fall & hurt herself. I probably did it a dozen times or more. It was frustrating. It never crossed my mind to spank her.

My teacher finally said to me, "Wow, I have to compliment you on how consistent and patient you've been with her while teaching her right from wrong." It really reinforced my decision to not spank my children.

My DH always says their job is to test us & that our job as parents is to outlast them.

I'm not saying either damages their psyche. You say you got up 12 times to sit your child down. Do you think that actually worked then? What if on the 8th time she fell and broke her neck? While you can't understand why someone would spank, I can't understand why someone would tell a child something 12 times in a row.

It's hideous. If you think making a child drink hot sauce is normal punishment, seek help, imho. Grownups who can not find a more natural conseunce for a 7yo should lose custody of their child until they complete anger management, parenting and coping classes. No excuse. The cold shower is almost as bad as putting a child in scalding water. No child should have to endure this kind of punishment. Makes me think the adult has some kind of brain damage. Take the child away. Send him to me. I will love him. Hideous!!!
ETA: How do you hit a small child without being angry. Premeditated hitting of a helpless child almost seems worse than doing it in anger.

I'm quite sure the parents that spank their children don't wake up and say, "I think I will spank my child today." If my child does something, I will try different forms of discipline. I will not try spanking out of frustration. I will use my voice, may try time out (for one of my children that doesn't work). I will also take things away but I may also try spanking.

Take the case above, if my child kept repeatedly standing on a table that they could get hurt on and did not follow my directions to stop. I would probably spank in that case. That might just save them frome a broken neck. I don't judge that poster for taking her child down 12 times in a row I really don't see why people need to judge me for spanking. What if that child did get seriously hurt on the 8th attempt? Who did the dissservice to their child?

Homes where children are spanked can also be very loving homes. I do believe children need to be hugged, told they are wonderful, rewarded when appropriate, and told they are loved. Sadly, it looks like the child in the original post was never told they were loved. That, to me, is the most damaging.

 

[MELSMICE]

I'm not saying either damages their psyche. You say you got up 12 times to sit your child down. Do you think that actually worked then? What if on the 8th time she fell and broke her neck? While you can't understand why someone would spank, I can't understand why someone would tell a child something 12 times in a row.

Take the case above, if my child kept repeatedly standing on a table that they could get hurt on and did not follow my directions to stop. I would probably spank in that case. That might just save them frome a broken neck. I don't judge that poster for taking her child down 12 times in a row I really don't see why people need to judge me for spanking. What if that child did get seriously hurt on the 8th attempt? Who did the dissservice to their child?

She was climbing on the benches & trying to get on the table, she wasn't standing on the table. Yes, I did get her down numerous times. This isn't unusual behavior for an almost 3 year old, IMO.

I was sitting right next to the table. I was close enough that she was not in danger of falling. I certainly wouldn't walk away, knowing that she was attempting to climb on a table. I was also trying to carry on a conversation.

She was obviously looking for my attention. The way for her to get it at that point was to climb on the benches/table & me take her down, while telling her that we don't climb on tables. When I finally realized that I needed to avert her attention elsewhere she was fine and stopped doing it. There was no need to spank.

She went about playing with whatever toy or activity I gave to her and I carried on with my conversation. Like I said, IMO, their job is to test us, ours is to outlast.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

She was climbing on the benches & trying to get on the table, she wasn't standing on the table. Yes, I did get her down numerous times. This isn't unusual behavior for an almost 3 year old, IMO.
.

Some parents might disagree with that since their 3yo's might not have EVER tried such a thing regardless of how their parent may or may not discipline them.

To use that as an argument against other disciplinary techniques doesn't serve your point really.

Each child and their temperment is different, so all this fuss over what is an is not appropriate doesn't really matter. It's all about finding the child's currency.

The methods employed by the woman in the video were abohorrent. Just thought I'd toss that out there.

They just had on the news today that a teacher in Maryland is in trouble for abusing her students. I could not believe my ears. One of her "techniques" was a choke hold on her first graders. They have had 9 different students thus far that were abused by this monster.

 

[tasha99]

My children respect me and others, both adults and their peers. I do not spank.

I'm not sure why someone would spank if it is not out of anger or frustration.

My children were disciplined without spanking or hitting growing up and their psyche was not damaged either.


There is nothing wrong with punishment. I, personally, don't see spanking as punishment. I see it as someone being violent towards someone else.

I realize others have different opinions about spanking & say it's just a "pop, smack, tap". Call it what you want, you are hitting your child.


I would assume you are generalizing when you say there are too many brats running around these days. How do you know whether those "brats" are spanked or not spanked.

I'll never forget the time my dance teacher, who is actually me mentor, came to visit when I had my twins. My oldest was almost 3 at the time. She insisted on climbing on the picnic table in our patio. I repeatedly got up & sat her down while telling her that a table was for sitting at, not climbing on & that she could fall & hurt herself. I probably did it a dozen times or more. It was frustrating. It never crossed my mind to spank her.

My teacher finally said to me, "Wow, I have to compliment you on how consistent and patient you've been with her while teaching her right from wrong." It really reinforced my decision to not spank my children.

My DH always says their job is to test us & that our job as parents is to outlast them.

Then I think maybe you are being deliberately obtuse. The fact is, with toddlers (not babies and not older children), sometimes a swat startles them into obedience. I used it rarely when I felt my toddler was doing something very dangerous that they had been told not to do. I can't imagine telling a kid 12 times to not climb on something! To me, that is just

Consistency matters. If you go up and nicely say "no no" and explain, you're giving your kid good attention for a negative behavior. Not something I would recommend.

 

[ccgirl]

She was climbing on the benches & trying to get on the table, she wasn't standing on the table. Yes, I did get her down numerous times. This isn't unusual behavior for an almost 3 year old, IMO.

I was sitting right next to the table. I was close enough that she was not in danger of falling. I certainly wouldn't walk away, knowing that she was attempting to climb on a table. I was also trying to carry on a conversation.

She was obviously looking for my attention. The way for her to get it at that point was to climb on the benches/table & me take her down, while telling her that we don't climb on tables. When I finally realized that I needed to avert her attention elsewhere she was fine and stopped doing it. There was no need to spank.

She went about playing with whatever toy or activity I gave to her and I carried on with my conversation. Like I said, IMO, their job is to test us, ours is to outlast.

I also feel my job, as a parent, is to teach my child right from wrong. If a spank deters my child from doing something wrong I believe it serves a purpose. I would not spank another adult because it is not our job to teach other adults right from wrong.

Some parents might disagree with that since their 3yo's might not have EVER tried such a thing regardless of how their parent may or may not discipline them.

To use that as an argument against other disciplinary techniques doesn't serve your point really.

Each child and their temperment is different, so all this fuss over what is an is not appropriate doesn't really matter. It's all about finding the child's currency.

The methods employed by the woman in the video were abohorrent. Just thought I'd toss that out there.

They just had on the news today that a teacher in Maryland is in trouble for abusing her students. I could not believe my ears. One of her "techniques" was a choke hold on her first graders. They have had 9 different students thus far that were abused by this monster.

My point exactly. Each child is different. Even my two children respond differently to discipline techniques.

Then I think maybe you are being deliberately obtuse. The fact is, with toddlers (not babies and not older children), sometimes a swat startles them into obedience. I used it rarely when I felt my toddler was doing something very dangerous that they had been told not to do. I can't imagine telling a kid 12 times to not climb on something! To me, that is just

Consistency matters. If you go up and nicely say "no no" and explain, you're giving your kid good attention for a negative behavior. Not something I would recommend.

Exactly. If a child did something repeatedly over and over while being told no and just finally gave up; was anything learned? Who ended up "winning". I just don't want to play a gave of Survivor...I am the parent and I am not going to play a game of outwill, outplay, outlast with my child. I teach them right from wrong. If other parents don't want to use spanking that is their perogative but to judge others who do is just wrong. I do not beat my child, I do not wake up and think, "oh I would love to spank my child today."

I would agree with everyone that the mom in the OP went too far. I really hope that little boy is able to find love somewhere.

 

[luvsJack]

Just wanted to pop back in and explain myself about not spanking out of anger:

Using the pp's story as an example: If dd climbed on a table, I would get her down once and say, "we sit at tables, get down". I may even do it twice and the third time, I would swat her bottom (hard enough to get some attention) and put her down saynig "Do NOT climb up there again". I would not get her down 12 times and then because I am frustrated start swatting her bottom. The swat would come well before that.

If my sons did something that really made me ANGRY--lets say, I came in and found they had torn something up, I would send them to their rooms or I may remove myself from the room and calm down. They may or may not have actually gotten a spanking but whatever punishment they received, I NEVER doled it out while angry.

 

[Magpie]

The day it is ok to go up and slap an adult for doing something you didn't like...then we shall spank our children.

The day you can say something I dont like and I can make you as an adult drink hot sauce...we shall make our children drink it.

The day we can put an adult in a cold shower for doing something wrong...then we shall make our children take cold showers.

Why is it not so bad to do something to your children but you would think twice about doing it to an adult that did something you weren't happy about??? I think some people push their kids around because they can. My son is 4 and he gets the same respect as my hubby. When he losses his cool, he is asked to take a time out and that's exactly what we as adults do when we lose our cool. And I have a very well behaved child that I've never have to spank or put hot sauce in his mouth....nor would I ever think about doing either. He is talked as a young person...because that is what he is.

Common sense is not very common these days.

This!

And for all those who say that adults are different... Well, would it be okay for a caregiver to spank a mentally disabled adult? Why not? After all, the mentally disabled adult has the same cognitive reasoning as a small child.

My husband always says, "You give respect to get respect." He was raised that way, and that's how he raises his kids. He is very respectful toward them, as human beings. Always keeping in mind, of course, his leadership role in the household.

Now, FWIW, in our family jokes are not disrespectful, nor is affectionate teasing. Questioning authority is not disrespectful. Debating parental policy isn't disrespectful, either. Disrespect is saying "shut up!" to someone who is trying to speak. Disrespect is cutting people off and trampling over them. Disrespect is going behind our backs, lying to us, or disregarding our opinions or feelings. I've very rarely had to pull the "Because I'm the Mommy, and this is not a Democracy!" card, and I think the kids actually pay MORE attention when I do say that, because it's so very unusual.

By and large, the rules of engagement are the same for everyone.

 

[mhsjax]

My children respect me and others, both adults and their peers. I do not spank.

I'm not sure why someone would spank if it is not out of anger or frustration.

My children were disciplined without spanking or hitting growing up and their psyche was not damaged either.


There is nothing wrong with punishment. I, personally, don't see spanking as punishment. I see it as someone being violent towards someone else.

I realize others have different opinions about spanking & say it's just a "pop, smack, tap". Call it what you want, you are hitting your child.


I would assume you are generalizing when you say there are too many brats running around these days. How do you know whether those "brats" are spanked or not spanked.

I'll never forget the time my dance teacher, who is actually me mentor, came to visit when I had my twins. My oldest was almost 3 at the time. She insisted on climbing on the picnic table in our patio. I repeatedly got up & sat her down while telling her that a table was for sitting at, not climbing on & that she could fall & hurt herself. I probably did it a dozen times or more. It was frustrating. It never crossed my mind to spank her.

My teacher finally said to me, "Wow, I have to compliment you on how consistent and patient you've been with her while teaching her right from wrong." It really reinforced my decision to not spank my children.
c
My DH always says their job is to test us & that our job as parents is to outlast them.

Sorry but after about 3 times of telling them no, then it isn't working. A dozen is crazy. That is playing games. No way would I play that game a dozen times and I am sorry but that is no reason to be complimented. You have your way, I have mine, But in my world if I see a parent repeating the same thing 12 times, I say that isn't good parenting.

To answer your question about the "brat" term. Just go to WDW for example. Watch the parents, Those kids that I term brats aren't punished or taught. I see over and over again parents giving into kids and their temper tantrums or just ignoring the bad behavior, and yep that equals brat.

Look you guys parents your way, I will parent mine. I may not have done much right in the world and have regrets, but the way I raised my kids isn't one of them. All we ever get is compliments, and yes we get tons of them. From teachers from the parents of their friends and from complete strangers when we go out. I am sorry if that sounds like bragging, but they are graet kids. Everyone I know says that they would gladly adopt them because of their behavior and we are told repeatedly whatever we did, we did the right thing. I did spank occasionally, so what, they really don't remember, I asked them. I never abused them, but again, 12 times of no, isn't teaching them anything. And psychological dribble doesn't mean a thing to me, because I don't them in very high regards when it comes to raising kids.

Now, I will bow out of this conversation, you all continue and I will bask in the glow of knowing that I did what was best for my kids, I can take them anywhere and they are well received and that even at their young age, they recognize bratty behavior as well.

 

[mhsjax]

Just wanted to pop back in and explain myself about not spanking out of anger:

Using the pp's story as an example: If dd climbed on a table, I would get her down once and say, "we sit at tables, get down". I may even do it twice and the third time, I would swat her bottom (hard enough to get some attention) and put her down saynig "Do NOT climb up there again". I would not get her down 12 times and then because I am frustrated start swatting her bottom. The swat would come well before that.

If my sons did something that really made me ANGRY--lets say, I came in and found they had torn something up, I would send them to their rooms or I may remove myself from the room and calm down. They may or may not have actually gotten a spanking but whatever punishment they received, I NEVER doled it out while angry.

exactly, People who don't spank cant' understand that. But then again, I can't understand a parent allowing a child to do the same thing 12 times. I will leave it at that.

 

[ccgirl]

Sorry but after about 3 times of telling them no, then it isn't working. A dozen is crazy. That is playing games. No way would I play that game a dozen times and I am sorry but that is no reason to be complimented. You have your way, I have mine, But in my world if I see a parent repeating the same thing 12 times, I say that isn't good parenting.

To answer your question about the "brat" term. Just go to WDW for example. Watch the parents, Those kids that I term brats aren't punished or taught. I see over and over again parents giving into kids and their temper tantrums or just ignoring the bad behavior, and yep that equals brat.

Look you guys parents your way, I will parent mine. I may not have done much right in the world and have regrets, but the way I raised my kids isn't one of them. All we ever get is compliments, and yes we get tons of them. From teachers from the parents of their friends and from complete strangers when we go out. I am sorry if that sounds like bragging, but they are graet kids. Everyone I know says that they would gladly adopt them because of their behavior and we are told repeatedly whatever we did, we did the right thing. I did spank occasionally, so what, they really don't remember, I asked them. I never abused them, but again, 12 times of no, isn't teaching them anything. And psychological dribble doesn't mean a thing to me, because I don't them in very high regards when it comes to raising kids.

Now, I will bow out of this conversation, you all continue and I will bask in the glow of knowing that I did what was best for my kids, I can take them anywhere and they are well received and that even at their young age, they recognize bratty behavior as well.

Yes.

exactly, People who don't spank cant' understand that. But then again, I can't understand a parent allowing a child to do the same thing 12 times. I will leave it at that.

And yes.

 

[mhsjax]

Yes.


And yes.

Thanks. BTW, your Survivor analogy was fantastic. I actually almost spit my Diet Coke out from laughing. It was great.

Now I do have to go, I have my youngest home sick and he is in need of mommy attention. Imagine that, we, who think it is ok to spank, are actually very loving and comforting to our little ones.

 

[bgirldeb]

http://news.yahoo.com/prosecutor-says-mom-punished-boy-tv-213920907.html

Seems that the prosecutors allege the mom did this punishment to get on the Dr. Phil show, and that she had been trying to get on the show already.

Interesting twist to the story...