My Heart is Broken

[sunnyshari]

To OP and your daughter I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my Dad in 2004 when I was pregnant with my youngest. While he had always had health problems we did not expect his death when it happened. I still get jealous sometimes of other people that still have their dads but now it is easier to just remember the good times and not think about how he died. Keep surrounded by family and friends and seek some kind of support group if you can.

Take care,
Shari

 

[daemom]

 

[MarieS]

I am so sorry.

 

[nugov2]

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

 

[GraysMom]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Hug your kids and grandkids tightly

 

[BearcatsFan]

Thinking of you again tonight, OP. Prayers will continue.

 

[mom2travel]

So so sorry to hear about your DH, Donna. You, joy, Janet and your entire family have my sympathy and are in my thoughts during these difficult days :hugs:

 

[joyjanet]

Sorry that I have not gotten back to this. I started to post the other night but got side tracked (which is happening a lot). First, I would like thank all of you for your kind words. Also, for those of you have lost loved ones my heart goes out to you.

The viewing was on 25 Feb and the funeral was on the 26th. The grandchildren all wanted to go the viewing so we let them. My DGS (Cameron, age 10) would come up to me and hug me and then disappear. Later on he would come back and hug me again. He told me later that he would go up to the person who needed a hug the most and go on to the next person. He told me that Aunt Janet needed the most hugs because she was crying the most. My DGD Alexis and my DGD Gabriella each made something to put in their grumps's casket. My DGS Stephen was very loving to everyone also. My DH's sister was there with her grandchildren and I was amazed at how good all the grandchildren were.

I dressed my DH in a Disney shirt and shorts. He was not a dress up kind of person but did dress up for very special occasions. For the funeral I wore a matching shirt only mine was red and his was blue. Quite a few times when we would get dressed we would end up wearing the same shirt without the other one knowing how we dressed. I asked everyone to dress casual and if they had Disney shirts to wear them.

My DH was known as Grumps to the grandchildren. He got that name by a text that my DGS Cameron sent. This is what it said: "Dear grump. I love you a lot you mace my Hort wide. I love you so so so much beeches you or the only grump in the world. hope you come back soon. love Cameron." For those who can't read kid talk mace is make, Hort is Heart, and beeches is because. He read that at the funeral.

Alexis spoke about how she was closer to Grumps than her birth grandfather who also died. Her and her brother only had him in their lives for just less than 2 years but they loved him a lot and he loved them just as much.

Gabriella sang a song for Grumps and it was really cute.

My DD Janet spoke about what a big heart he had and some of the nice things he did. Others spoke about funny things that my DH did with them or to them. It helped to keep the mood of the funeral light and everyone was able to laugh.

I set up the 18 ships that my DH bought on each Disney cruise we took. Every time we took a cruise he would buy a ship and get it signed by the Captain. Our first cruise was in Oct of 2009 when I retired from my job. He wanted to give me a gift of a cruise and fell in love with cruising. I had them put "Gone cruising to Heaven" on his stone.

After the funeral service we traveled to Bushnell to the Florida National Cemetery where military members get buried. The Honor Guard presented me the flag and fired the guns. It was very touching. They gave each of the grandchildren a bullet and they gave me some also.

After the burial I took my DDs and their families to Disney where we spent the night at The Art of Animation. When I checked in the cast member said I looked tired and I explained to her what happened. I also told her it was now time to celebrate life with my daughters and grandchildren. I wanted the kids to have some fun before they had to leave. There was no time for the parks but they had time to swim. We had 2 rooms and each room received a beautiful gift bag with snacks and fruits sent by the cast member who checked us in. It was very thoughtful and we let the manager know.

I have more to post and will try to get to it tomorrow.

 

[ilovepcot]

Sorry that I have not gotten back to this. I started to post the other night but got side tracked (which is happening a lot). First, I would like thank all of you for your kind words. Also, for those of you have lost loved ones my heart goes out to you.

The viewing was on 25 Feb and the funeral was on the 26th. The grandchildren all wanted to go the viewing so we let them. My DGS (Cameron, age 10) would come up to me and hug me and then disappear. Later on he would come back and hug me again. He told me later that he would go up to the person who needed a hug the most and go on to the next person. He told me that Aunt Janet needed the most hugs because she was crying the most. My DGD Alexis and my DGD Gabriella each made something to put in their grumps's casket. My DGS Stephen was very loving to everyone also. My DH's sister was there with her grandchildren and I was amazed at how good all the grandchildren were.

I dressed my DH in a Disney shirt and shorts. He was not a dress up kind of person but did dress up for very special occasions. For the funeral I wore a matching shirt only mine was red and his was blue. Quite a few times when we would get dressed we would end up wearing the same shirt without the other one knowing how we dressed. I asked everyone to dress casual and if they had Disney shirts to wear them.

My DH was known as Grumps to the grandchildren. He got that name by a text that my DGS Cameron sent. This is what it said: "Dear grump. I love you a lot you mace my Hort wide. I love you so so so much beeches you or the only grump in the world. hope you come back soon. love Cameron." For those who can't read kid talk mace is make, Hort is Heart, and beeches is because. He read that at the funeral.

Alexis spoke about how she was closer to Grumps than her birth grandfather who also died. Her and her brother only had him in their lives for just less than 2 years but they loved him a lot and he loved them just as much.

Gabriella sang a song for Grumps and it was really cute.

My DD Janet spoke about what a big heart he had and some of the nice things he did. Others spoke about funny things that my DH did with them or to them. It helped to keep the mood of the funeral light and everyone was able to laugh.

I set up the 18 ships that my DH bought on each Disney cruise we took. Every time we took a cruise he would buy a ship and get it signed by the Captain. Our first cruise was in Oct of 2009 when I retired from my job. He wanted to give me a gift of a cruise and fell in love with cruising. I had them put "Gone cruising to Heaven" on his stone.

After the funeral service we traveled to Bushnell to the Florida National Cemetery where military members get buried. The Honor Guard presented me the flag and fired the guns. It was very touching. They gave each of the grandchildren a bullet and they gave me some also.

After the burial I took my DDs and their families to Disney where we spent the night at The Art of Animation. When I checked in the cast member said I looked tired and I explained to her what happened. I also told her it was now time to celebrate life with my daughters and grandchildren. I wanted the kids to have some fun before they had to leave. There was no time for the parks but they had time to swim. We had 2 rooms and each room received a beautiful gift bag with snacks and fruits sent by the cast member who checked us in. It was very thoughtful and we let the manager know.

I have more to post and will try to get to it tomorrow.

Beautiful. Thanks for sharing this most precious time with us. And again...

 

[angwill]

Sorry that I have not gotten back to this. I started to post the other night but got side tracked (which is happening a lot). First, I would like thank all of you for your kind words. Also, for those of you have lost loved ones my heart goes out to you.

The viewing was on 25 Feb and the funeral was on the 26th. The grandchildren all wanted to go the viewing so we let them. My DGS (Cameron, age 10) would come up to me and hug me and then disappear. Later on he would come back and hug me again. He told me later that he would go up to the person who needed a hug the most and go on to the next person. He told me that Aunt Janet needed the most hugs because she was crying the most. My DGD Alexis and my DGD Gabriella each made something to put in their grumps's casket. My DGS Stephen was very loving to everyone also. My DH's sister was there with her grandchildren and I was amazed at how good all the grandchildren were.

I dressed my DH in a Disney shirt and shorts. He was not a dress up kind of person but did dress up for very special occasions. For the funeral I wore a matching shirt only mine was red and his was blue. Quite a few times when we would get dressed we would end up wearing the same shirt without the other one knowing how we dressed. I asked everyone to dress casual and if they had Disney shirts to wear them.

My DH was known as Grumps to the grandchildren. He got that name by a text that my DGS Cameron sent. This is what it said: "Dear grump. I love you a lot you mace my Hort wide. I love you so so so much beeches you or the only grump in the world. hope you come back soon. love Cameron." For those who can't read kid talk mace is make, Hort is Heart, and beeches is because. He read that at the funeral.

Alexis spoke about how she was closer to Grumps than her birth grandfather who also died. Her and her brother only had him in their lives for just less than 2 years but they loved him a lot and he loved them just as much.

Gabriella sang a song for Grumps and it was really cute.

My DD Janet spoke about what a big heart he had and some of the nice things he did. Others spoke about funny things that my DH did with them or to them. It helped to keep the mood of the funeral light and everyone was able to laugh.

I set up the 18 ships that my DH bought on each Disney cruise we took. Every time we took a cruise he would buy a ship and get it signed by the Captain. Our first cruise was in Oct of 2009 when I retired from my job. He wanted to give me a gift of a cruise and fell in love with cruising. I had them put "Gone cruising to Heaven" on his stone.

After the funeral service we traveled to Bushnell to the Florida National Cemetery where military members get buried. The Honor Guard presented me the flag and fired the guns. It was very touching. They gave each of the grandchildren a bullet and they gave me some also.

After the burial I took my DDs and their families to Disney where we spent the night at The Art of Animation. When I checked in the cast member said I looked tired and I explained to her what happened. I also told her it was now time to celebrate life with my daughters and grandchildren. I wanted the kids to have some fun before they had to leave. There was no time for the parks but they had time to swim. We had 2 rooms and each room received a beautiful gift bag with snacks and fruits sent by the cast member who checked us in. It was very thoughtful and we let the manager know.

I have more to post and will try to get to it tomorrow.

This just brought tears to my eyes. Your family sounds so wonderful and loving. Your grandson hugging everyone who needed hugs the most is so gentle and sweet. All you did to honor your husband and then to take the family to relax and enjoy afterward is such a special memory of this time in their lives. You are a special person and you and your family are so lucky to have each other. It sounds like your husbands life was such a great one for him to have lived.

You take care of yourself and keep loving that family of yours.

Ang

 

[AnnaS]

Sorry that I have not gotten back to this. I started to post the other night but got side tracked (which is happening a lot). First, I would like thank all of you for your kind words. Also, for those of you have lost loved ones my heart goes out to you.

The viewing was on 25 Feb and the funeral was on the 26th. The grandchildren all wanted to go the viewing so we let them. My DGS (Cameron, age 10) would come up to me and hug me and then disappear. Later on he would come back and hug me again. He told me later that he would go up to the person who needed a hug the most and go on to the next person. He told me that Aunt Janet needed the most hugs because she was crying the most. My DGD Alexis and my DGD Gabriella each made something to put in their grumps's casket. My DGS Stephen was very loving to everyone also. My DH's sister was there with her grandchildren and I was amazed at how good all the grandchildren were.

I dressed my DH in a Disney shirt and shorts. He was not a dress up kind of person but did dress up for very special occasions. For the funeral I wore a matching shirt only mine was red and his was blue. Quite a few times when we would get dressed we would end up wearing the same shirt without the other one knowing how we dressed. I asked everyone to dress casual and if they had Disney shirts to wear them.

My DH was known as Grumps to the grandchildren. He got that name by a text that my DGS Cameron sent. This is what it said: "Dear grump. I love you a lot you mace my Hort wide. I love you so so so much beeches you or the only grump in the world. hope you come back soon. love Cameron." For those who can't read kid talk mace is make, Hort is Heart, and beeches is because. He read that at the funeral.

Alexis spoke about how she was closer to Grumps than her birth grandfather who also died. Her and her brother only had him in their lives for just less than 2 years but they loved him a lot and he loved them just as much.

Gabriella sang a song for Grumps and it was really cute.

My DD Janet spoke about what a big heart he had and some of the nice things he did. Others spoke about funny things that my DH did with them or to them. It helped to keep the mood of the funeral light and everyone was able to laugh.

I set up the 18 ships that my DH bought on each Disney cruise we took. Every time we took a cruise he would buy a ship and get it signed by the Captain. Our first cruise was in Oct of 2009 when I retired from my job. He wanted to give me a gift of a cruise and fell in love with cruising. I had them put "Gone cruising to Heaven" on his stone.

After the funeral service we traveled to Bushnell to the Florida National Cemetery where military members get buried. The Honor Guard presented me the flag and fired the guns. It was very touching. They gave each of the grandchildren a bullet and they gave me some also.

After the burial I took my DDs and their families to Disney where we spent the night at The Art of Animation. When I checked in the cast member said I looked tired and I explained to her what happened. I also told her it was now time to celebrate life with my daughters and grandchildren. I wanted the kids to have some fun before they had to leave. There was no time for the parks but they had time to swim. We had 2 rooms and each room received a beautiful gift bag with snacks and fruits sent by the cast member who checked us in. It was very thoughtful and we let the manager know.

I have more to post and will try to get to it tomorrow.

Oh my God how beautiful!! Thank you so much for sharing -

 

[4nana]

Joyjanet, thank you so much for sharing your heartwarming post about your DH/Grumps . Your family's love shines through with the very special tributes, personable Disney touches and visit, I'm sure making him very proud of his family. He sounds like a wonderful person loved by many, and you indeed are blessed with loving children//grandchildren whose love for each other will bring hope and help ease your heartache. May your DH's wonderful memories help guide you and yours as you move forward in these difficult days, as he smiles upon all of you from above. Godspeed, and take good care of yourself.

 

[PrincessKsMom]

So sorry for your loss.

That was an absolutely beautiful tribute to your husband your lives together. I know you did him proud.

 

[snapppyd]

I'm crying reading this. You gave him such a wonderful, loving tribute. I'm so very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine losing my DH of 31 years, I'm so glad you are surrounded by your loving family.

 

[jennyjinx3]

I am so sorry for your loss, and what loving tributes to your DH. Wishing you peace.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I'm just now seeing this. I am so sorry. My heart is breaking for you.

The thread is long and I'm sure it's been said, but please make sure everything is written down while it's still fresh in your mind and make sure you have ALL his records -from every day. I hope someone on here is able to help you.

You're in my prayers.

 

[McDuck]

What a beautiful celebration of his life. Continued hugs and prayers to you.

 

[disney1990]

Sorry that I have not gotten back to this. I started to post the other night but got side tracked (which is happening a lot). First, I would like thank all of you for your kind words. Also, for those of you have lost loved ones my heart goes out to you.

The viewing was on 25 Feb and the funeral was on the 26th. The grandchildren all wanted to go the viewing so we let them. My DGS (Cameron, age 10) would come up to me and hug me and then disappear. Later on he would come back and hug me again. He told me later that he would go up to the person who needed a hug the most and go on to the next person. He told me that Aunt Janet needed the most hugs because she was crying the most. My DGD Alexis and my DGD Gabriella each made something to put in their grumps's casket. My DGS Stephen was very loving to everyone also. My DH's sister was there with her grandchildren and I was amazed at how good all the grandchildren were.

I dressed my DH in a Disney shirt and shorts. He was not a dress up kind of person but did dress up for very special occasions. For the funeral I wore a matching shirt only mine was red and his was blue. Quite a few times when we would get dressed we would end up wearing the same shirt without the other one knowing how we dressed. I asked everyone to dress casual and if they had Disney shirts to wear them.

My DH was known as Grumps to the grandchildren. He got that name by a text that my DGS Cameron sent. This is what it said: "Dear grump. I love you a lot you mace my Hort wide. I love you so so so much beeches you or the only grump in the world. hope you come back soon. love Cameron." For those who can't read kid talk mace is make, Hort is Heart, and beeches is because. He read that at the funeral.

Alexis spoke about how she was closer to Grumps than her birth grandfather who also died. Her and her brother only had him in their lives for just less than 2 years but they loved him a lot and he loved them just as much.

Gabriella sang a song for Grumps and it was really cute.

My DD Janet spoke about what a big heart he had and some of the nice things he did. Others spoke about funny things that my DH did with them or to them. It helped to keep the mood of the funeral light and everyone was able to laugh.

I set up the 18 ships that my DH bought on each Disney cruise we took. Every time we took a cruise he would buy a ship and get it signed by the Captain. Our first cruise was in Oct of 2009 when I retired from my job. He wanted to give me a gift of a cruise and fell in love with cruising. I had them put "Gone cruising to Heaven" on his stone.

After the funeral service we traveled to Bushnell to the Florida National Cemetery where military members get buried. The Honor Guard presented me the flag and fired the guns. It was very touching. They gave each of the grandchildren a bullet and they gave me some also.

After the burial I took my DDs and their families to Disney where we spent the night at The Art of Animation. When I checked in the cast member said I looked tired and I explained to her what happened. I also told her it was now time to celebrate life with my daughters and grandchildren. I wanted the kids to have some fun before they had to leave. There was no time for the parks but they had time to swim. We had 2 rooms and each room received a beautiful gift bag with snacks and fruits sent by the cast member who checked us in. It was very thoughtful and we let the manager know.

I have more to post and will try to get to it tomorrow.

Thank you so much for sharing.

 

[Deb in IA]

My DH of 41 years passed away last night. I still can't seem to believe it. He went into the hospital to have his spleen removed on 6 Feb and never left the hospital. The surgery went well and they moved him into the recovery room. About 45 minutes later the Dr came out and said his blood pressure was falling and they had to take him back into surgery because he must be bleeding inside. He got the bleeding stopped and they moved him to ICU. They thought he was going to die that night but he pulled through. He was moved to the floor on Monday, the 11th of Feb, and everything seemed to be looking up. He was talking and everything was good. On Friday night they needed to take him down for a scan and gave him some chemical to drink. He said he was scared and maybe he knew something. On Saturday all he did was sleep and the same thing on Sunday. He would not eat anything and just started to go downhill. On Wednesday I went to the site administrator and expressed my concern that he was not getting good care. They hurt his arm in ICU and no one seemed to do anything about it. I told the nurse but there seemed to be no concern. When his Dr showed up I showed him his arm and he ordered an X-ray. Later I asked for an ice pack and no one brought one. I also told them he said his arm was burning where the needles were and after no one showed up for over an hour and a half I went out to the floor and found a doctor. Apparently his vein had collapsed and the fluid was running into his arm. They could not find a vein to put a needle into and the site administrator came up at about 9 that night to see if she could do anything. She could not find a vein either. His blood pressure was dropping and I asked her why they couldn’t move him back to ICU. She went out and reviewed his records and 10 minutes later she came back with some people and said they were taking him to the ICU immediately. His kidneys were failing for a few days and why they didn't move him to ICU sooner I don't know. I beat myself up because I should have done something sooner but I trusted his Dr and the nurses. Stupid me. They got an IV started in his shoulder late on Wednesday night. They said they were going to start dialysis on Thursday so I went home for some much needed sleep. At 3am on Thursday they called and said he was having panic attacks and wanted me. I went in and stayed with him until they took him down for another X-ray and went to get something to eat. They called me and told me they needed to incubate him because he was stressing with his breathing. I got back to his room and he did not look good. He was sedated and I could not be in there. I ran home for a few minutes to get something and got the dreaded phone call. They had tried to put the dialysis tube in his shoulder but the blood clotted and his heart stopped. I called my daughter in Orlando and his sister in West Palm Beach. They got there in record time. They managed to get his heart started but it stopped again and after many attempts to get it started the Dr said he could feel his ribs cracking. We finally asked them to stop. Hardest thing I had to do. I thought his Dr would call me and express his sympathy but nothing. My sister-in-law works for a Dr and we are going to get a complete record of what went on. Site administrator was the only one who came to me and hugged me. She told me I should get all his records. I think she might know something since she was the one who ordered him to ICU. Why his Dr did not do it I don't know. I am thankful that God gave us 1 good week with him so that everyone could tell him how much they loved him. My oldest DD from WI was able to see him and the grandkids did facetime with him. If he had died the first night no one would have been able to do that. Thank you for letting me express my feelings. I have had very little sleep since all of this started. I know that with time it will get easier but right now it does not seem like it.

Donna, I am so sorry and I apologize for not seeing this sooner.

I don't know if you remember, but we met you and your DH, as well as your daughter and grandchildren on the Disney Wonder June 25 - July 2 Alaska cruise last summer.

DD and I had lunch with you and your husband up at the Beach Blanket Buffet. We had a great time talking about Disney World. It was a fantastic cruise, and I am just devastated to hear of your loss.

Donna gave us a "Disney for Families" guidebook as a part of the Fish Extenders exchange. I remembered her just recently because I shared that guidebook with my sister, who took her family to Disney World just a few weeks ago - February 14 - 18. They had a great time, and the guidebook was very helpful.

I am the Janet part of the OP's username. This was my daddy. He loved Disney so much. He worked for them when they opened. He worked for them when he died. He was a seasonal bus driver. He would find so many little things to make children smile. When we adopted our children 2 years ago, he purchased 20 stuffed Mickeys. He gave one to each child in the Children's Home and gave them some extra for kids that came to the home. He had such a loving heart. It will not be the same without him.

I am so sorry, Janet.

We asked to have an autopsy, but they said they would not do one based on his overall health. He had diabetes and a liver issue before the surgery. If we wanted to have an autopsy, it was going to be something we had to pay about 4k for. My aunt said the records should give us everything we need. It is really hard to believe this is all real.

I am a medical professional, and I am VERY concerned about this.

Here in our hospital, it is often the other way - autopsies are encouraged, but we respect the family's wishes if they do not want one.

But they are NEVER refused, if requested, and the family is NEVER, EVER charged for them.

Here is a link to our autopsy service:
http://www.healthcare.uiowa.edu/path_handbook/Appendix/AnatomicPath/autopsy.html

Note the following:

The Usefulness of the Autopsy

The autopsy represents the ultimate quality assurance mechanism available to the practice of medicine. The primary purpose of the autopsy is, therefore, to improve the quality of care that we provide. Studies indicate that physicians are surprised by the results of an autopsy in about 20% of cases. Furthermore, clinicians are not able to predict those cases in which they are likely to learn of significant unexpected findings. It is important to obtain an autopsy as often as possible, even in those cases where you have no doubt as to the cause of death.

And:

Indicate that there is no charge to the family of any patient of the UI Hospitals and Clinics for the autopsy examination.

PLEASE contact the Orange County Medical Examiner's office as soon as possible about this.

Again, please accept our deepest condolences on your loss.

 

[PrincessKsMom]

Have to admit I didn't read the whole thread before posting my condolences. Chernabog (Janet), please accept my sympathies on the loss of your dad. May you all find peace and answers with his passing.