OT Parenting Question: Do you let your kids skip school. "just because"?

[Grendalynn]

I already know my answer to this - But Since DS16 (almost 17) has badgered all night and got an answer he didn't like, I want to check in here with all my mouse friends to see if I am as strict and as he says I am being...

I am interested to know if other parents let your kids skip school "just because"? I say no. It's not how I was brought up, and unless you are sick or dying - you go to school. That is where i am at. DH doesn't agree. And DS really doesn't agree. DS is a very responsible almost 17 year old. He argues that he hasn't missed a day of school since our WDW vacation in November. He makes honor roll, works part time and is a good kid (despite his typical teenage attitude he displays on occasion). That's his beef.

Update: I left out the reason he wanted to skip was to stay up late and play a new PS4 game that was being released at midnight. And all day the next day.

To me, skipping should be saved for something more important. But I'm very interested to know what others opinions and beliefs are in this! TIA!

 

[imthemamahere]

Hmm. This seems like a topic that could open a can of worms around here... People have strong opinions!

My mom had the unless-you're-sick-or-dying mentality, and I, like your son, was the honor roll, AP classes, part time job kind of good kid. I wished my mom would have had just a bit more flexibility to her - letting a kid miss a day of school as a mental health day, for a single day, is not going to suddenly cancel out the honor roll, the good grades, the job... all that good-kid stuff will still be there the next morning. (Though I'd wholeheartedly agree that you don't get to skip the day there's something particularly important going on - a major exam or project due date, for example.) Basically, in schools today, there's a lot of pressure on kids (and 16-almost-17 is still just a kid!) to keep up, work hard, test well, etc. It's absolutely good practice for adulthood, when we do have to step up and be adults... but they aren't adults quite yet. To my mind, letting a kid take a day off from the daily grind won't hurt him.

So I said I'd parent with a little more flexibility, and so far, I have. But, full disclosure, my son is 6, not 16. So I'm not dealing with high school and teenage attitudes yet!

 

[powellrj]

I will be honest and say I didn't with my 2 boys, but I did with my dd. I always told her if she had perfect attendance at the end of the semester, she could take a mental health day. She was valedictorian so it never hurt her grades. The boys had good grades but they weren't as good as hers were.

 

[Allison]

No way.

 

[Disneylover99]

I think I would let them take the day off, if they had been working hard and they needed to take a mental health day to sleep/relax. But for the express purpose of staying home to play video games? No.

 

[Skywalker]

Both my boys are good students and never give us a moment's trouble, so because of that yes I would let them skip just for the fun of doing something like that. If they were poor students or had behaviour issues or skipped school regularly then no I wouldn't. In fact their schedule sometimes make me weary and I tell them just stay home! but they never do lol.

 

[shoney]

As long as grades and behavior are good and the do not have a lot of absences, then yes I would.
We call them "mental health" days. Some times you just need a day off!

 

[DisneyNutMary]

I'm a believer that if the school is open, my kids should be there. I generally don't let them skip school for no good reason. You just never know when something will come up that will cause a kid to miss an extended period of time...flu, injury, mono, etc
However, I'm not against a good skip day if we get all the way to May with great attendance and one of my boys needs a mental break before regents and final exams.

 

[ravenclawtrekkie]

I don't have any kids, but I know I skipped a day here and there in high school to stay home and play a new video game. I never got in trouble for attendance, still graduated with a decent GPA, and got into a state school for college. Not the end of the world by any means.

 

[ilovejack02]

If grades are great and all else is in place with how things are going at home etc, then yes I am fine with a day off for what ever the reason once or twice a year. There have been times I let him skip on a Friday to beat the crowds for a new movie coming out that we both want to see. Not much different than video games.

 

[msmama]

My son is only in 2nd grade, but my rule is if he ASKS to skip school in the morning, then he automatically goes.

I'm totally ok with mental health days, but I don't think they should be expected and I feel like they should come out of the blue, too - a surprise for a job well done. In your case, I wouldn't have let him stay home to play video games (or recover from playing video games). Maybe if it had been discussed BEFORE it happened (not just I was up late and want to keep playing so don't want to go now) I'd be more lenient.

 

[brockash]

I already know my answer to this - But Since DS16 (almost 17) has badgered all night and got an answer he didn't like, I want to check in here with all my mouse friends to see if I am as strict and as he says I am being...

I am interested to know if other parents let your kids skip school "just because"? I say no. It's not how I was brought up, and unless you are sick or dying - you go to school. That is where i am at. DH doesn't agree. And DS really doesn't agree. DS is a very responsible almost 17 year old. He argues that he hasn't missed a day of school since our WDW vacation in November. He makes honor roll, works part time and is a good kid (despite his typical teenage attitude he displays on occasion). That's his beef.

Update: I left out the reason he wanted to skip was to stay up late and play a new PS4 game that was being released at midnight. And all day the next day.

To me, skipping should be saved for something more important. But I'm very interested to know what others opinions and beliefs are in this! TIA!

My oldest is only 14 right now, but my gut reaction would always be no. Having said that I'm a counselor at a school and there are tons of parents who do allow it, although there are also many parents who are okay with their kids doing illegal things, so take that for what it's worth. If when my kids 17/18 in high school and if he's a good kid, always has good grades, does not miss school and for some reason wanted to take a "mental health day" I'm not sure how much I would stick to the absolutely not. I think if I saw that he had a lot going on, but was still doing well in school I probably would be okay allowing him to take a day off with the understanding that it's a one time thing and that it def. wouldn't be something that would be allowed very often if at all again.

Just wanted to add that this is coming from someone who skipped school A LOT in high school. My grades were always decent and often times I'd go to school to meet up with friends and then leave, so a little different, I did skip school a lot. My mom didn't allow it and def. didn't like it, but nothing really happened when I did.

 

[alliecat523]

I don't mind if my kid misses a day, but I wouldn't allow it just to stay up and play video games. Generally, if you're well, you're in school.

 

[cab5525]

My kids each get a "personal day" to spend with mom - lunch and shopping! I'm a single mom so that's the only way my kids get to spend alone time with me!

 

[kohlby]

I homeschool but am a former public school teacher. "Just because" wouldn't happen if my kids did do public school. However, taking a mental health day would be considered important as well. One concern would be how your state and school does attendance. Some states/schools are super strict. The state I am in will not pass students if they have too many unexcused absences. (This is the state's rule, so the public schools don't have wiggle room - though the high school I taught at had some Saturdays to help students make up days). Unexcused could be sick without a drs note - which is ridiculous to me as there are plenty of times kids are sick that you don't bring them to the dr. So, in my state, I wouldn't want to chance that. If my state weren't so picky, then I'd be more relaxed with what reasons I'd accept for taking a day off. Playing a video game would not be enough of a reason in any case those. If it were the child's birthday and the policy wasn't strict, then I'd be fine with it.

 

[kamik86]

My parents let me take a day off if there was something going on (to go away with mom for the weekend starting on Thursday for example) I also had a few others for other reasons. Never when anything major was going on and I was responsible for knowing that.

Honestly I think students are treated awfully by the schools in many cases with these rules. There was a thread talking about bathroom policies that would be absurd for any work environment. This is another example. If I was burnt out and needed a day off all I need is approval from my manager (actually starting this year I need even less. We now have 40 hours per year that can be used for sick or mental health days that our managers cannot deny us for)

Why do students get so many less rights then we would accept for 90% of adults? I can't think of many jobs that won't allow mental health days at all. Even doctors, fire fighters, police, etc get days if they can find someone that can cover.

 

[ElenaRN]

My DDs are still young so my opinion might change in later years. Right now though I would say no. We take them out of school for family vacations. Then add the days that they are actually sick. Doesn't leave many days to stay home for no reason at all.

Like I said my kids are little. At 17, if their grades are good and they haven't missed many days, I might consider it closer to the end of term.

 

[kamik86]

I homeschool but am a former public school teacher. "Just because" wouldn't happen if my kids did do public school. However, taking a mental health day would be considered important as well. One concern would be how your state and school does attendance. Some states/schools are super strict. The state I am in will not pass students if they have too many unexcused absences. (This is the state's rule, so the public schools don't have wiggle room - though the high school I taught at had some Saturdays to help students make up days). Unexcused could be sick without a drs note - which is ridiculous to me as there are plenty of times kids are sick that you don't bring them to the dr. So, in my state, I wouldn't want to chance that. If my state weren't so picky, then I'd be more relaxed with what reasons I'd accept for taking a day off. Playing a video game would not be enough of a reason in any case those. If it were the child's birthday and the policy wasn't strict, then I'd be fine with it.

See with a rule like that depending on how they did it would just change WHEN I would take mental health days. I know some have posted that they are allowed X per quarter for example. So if it is week 2 of a quarter and you want to play video games that may not be a good choice. If it is the second to last week of the quarter and you haven't been out though...

I used this for gym. In gym we had 5 days we could miss for any reason (forgot gym clothes, just didn't feel like doing gym, absent, injured) however some reasons were considered excused (excused absence or an injury with note) and some were not (forgot clothes, just didn't feel like it, needed a study hall to complete the homework due in the next class) only excused absences were eligible for makeups on saturdays or afterschool.

The last two weeks of the quarter it wasn't uncommon to have 25% of the class not participate. Especially if there was a big test or other assignment due that day.

 

[gorkt]

I have let my kids take a handful of mental health days here and there, but it is very rare - at most two days a year. My dd gets straight A's so she is fine with taking the occasional day off, but my son is more thrown off by disruptions in his routine so I am less likely to let him stay home when he isn't sick.

 

[Gracie09]

I'm actually debating this one now. My girls have missed one day of school between the two of them. In the 4 years the younger one has lived with us, she has never had more than a cold. Her whole class came down with a horrible virus (including the teacher). Over half the kids were out for a couple days. She got nothing. The whole family had the flu last year. Her nothing. My old one missed one day this year with an ear infection. And it was actually a half day. I may take the day off one day and take them out for a girls day.