OT Parenting Question: Do you let your kids skip school. "just because"?

[tripletmomsrock]

I was a teacher and now I'm a school administrator who also had 3 children. The teacher will tell you kids need to be in school everyday or they miss critical instruction. The administrator in me will tell you that school is important everyday because at least in my state daily attendance is how we get our money from the State. But the parent in me says a day here and a day there isn't going to make or break a kids education. About once a year miss a day for something random. On the day I graduated with my Specialist in Administration I kept them out and we went to Chuck E Cheese to celebrate. I kept them out this year because I scheduled their doctors appointments just decided to take them for breakfast afterward and then took for the last half of the school day. The key is to communicate with your child's teachers.I always make sure that they are missing a test or the introduction of a new topic. As a High School Administrator I encourage parents to take their children out for things that are important to their family. A family member getting married out of state, college visit, once in a lifetime vacation, visiting a sick grandparent. These are all valid reasons to miss a day of school. We have all become way to obsessed with schools and homework and not on valuing family or special moments.

 

[MandiC]

For absolutely no reason, nope, they need to go. Video games wouldn't be enough of a reason for our family. However, when my younger daughter was sick a few weeks ago she was not feeling well Tues-Thurs....I let her stay home Friday as well. She still wasn't up to full speed and she just didn't feel well despite her fever being gone so I let her stay home and have the rest of the weekend to recover. We also spent that time going over her school stuff because she had a math test on Friday and obviously didn't have time to study with the flu so I figured giving her the weekend was better for her grades as well.
I also don't hesitate to take them out for family vacations, since there is more to life than an education out of a book. I feel life experiences are just as important. Luckily our district has been completely understanding thus far.

 

[LilyWDW]

Luckily my mom had no issue keeping me out when I felt I "needed" a break. Now, I didn't abuse it and used it at most twice a year, but it was nice to know that if I really needed it, I had it to use. Then again, I was mostly an A student and never got in trouble so my mom knew that I wasn't lying about it lol.

 

[jevs]

Not to play a video game, never. To have a mental break/spend time with a parent one on one/vacation/sick/upset about something - yes.

Even though I'm pretty strict with screen time with my kids - they have to earn it, I still feel they spend too much time playing on devices. It's probably a generation thing

 

[Annadesu]

My parents wouldn't let me skip school, even when I WAS sick. I got sent home with fevers several times, and my parents kept doing it even when the nurse yelled at them. lol

My opinion? School is stressful, and it drains you. Just like work. Except, you're not even paid. It's like prison for many kids, especially ones who are bullied. If your kid has good grades, doesn't typically skip, etc. then just let them stay home for a day. People call in sick to work all the time, and aren't actually sick. Sometimes you need a mental health day. Doesn't matter what age you are.

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

Op - what's the game?

I was wondering the same thing.

For us?

We home schooled. I actually scheduled down days, two or three a year. They were generally cold, wet days. I would make a fire in the fireplace, make a big pot of hot chocolate and we would flake out on the floor or couch and read throughout the day. Or we would play board games. We would either meet Dad for lunch or sometimes, Dad would get take out and we would all have a carpet picnic in the living room.

When our son was older, I would still schedule days. Again, two or three a year. These would be days that I knew would benefit our son. It might be after a major test or even when I knew a cool game was coming out. One day, it was a midnight release. We got in line at Game Stop, got a new release, and he played, well, all night. We took off the next day.

I called them mental health days. We all need them.

 

[figment3258]

Sure we all need a day off now and then. I'm very thankful that we home school if one of my girls just needs a day we can take a break no big deal

 

[MissManda]

I have a high school senior. He takes dual enrollment college classes, AP classes, is involved in ROTC and is at school late almost every night. On top of that he works a weekend job. He stays busy and has very little down time. He is usually up before I am each morning like clockwork. If I have to go wake him up, something is wrong. His grades are excellent. He is also rarely sick. So yes, if there was a day that he just wanted to take off (provided that he wouldn't be missing a test or anything of that nature), I would be okay with him skipping a day.

I figure that there are times that I have called in to work because I need a "mental health day". I think kids need that same choice sometimes.

I don't think it will ruin him. I don't think it will set a bad example. I don't think that allowing him a day to relax will in anyway diminish his responsible nature.

That might not work for all kids though. If you had a kid that misses a lot of time due to illness and the number of days missed would be a concern or if they were struggling and missing a class would be detrimental, then no I would probably not allow it. At the very least I would have to give it much more thought and consideration.

(My kids are 18 and 1...so I don't really have to worry about them comparing notes to much and worrying about one was allowed to do or not!!!! I'm sure high school will be much different when the baby grows up!!!)

 

[kangamangus]

No. We have the mentality of staying home only if you are on your death bed. I come from a long line of hard workers- My dad worked for the same place for 55 years with not a single call out. My mom received chemotherapy and radiation and still showed up to work everyday through her ovarian cancer. It's in my blood I think, we just don't get sick or it seems to fall on a weekend etc.. My Freshman in high school has never had a sick day or mental health day. BUT with that being said I have taken them out for a few days at Disney.

 

[VickynMicMouse]

I will tell you, I took my kids out of school to go to Disney 2002, 2004, 2007 They both graduated are very well rounded adults and they don't get into trouble. As long as your child knows ahead of time that work is to be done in a timely matter for the missed days and your willing to help. Kids need breaks, including adults. Take them out of school for a few days its not going to hurt them. Have a great trip!!!

 

[kandb]

Yes, once and a while, it's fine. I am not very rigid though. I believe in all rules can be broken sometimes. If he is a good kid, gets good grades and won't suffer from missing a day, why not? It's nice to do something special once in a while.

 

[kandb]

My parents let me take a day off if there was something going on (to go away with mom for the weekend starting on Thursday for example) I also had a few others for other reasons. Never when anything major was going on and I was responsible for knowing that.

Honestly I think students are treated awfully by the schools in many cases with these rules. There was a thread talking about bathroom policies that would be absurd for any work environment. This is another example. If I was burnt out and needed a day off all I need is approval from my manager (actually starting this year I need even less. We now have 40 hours per year that can be used for sick or mental health days that our managers cannot deny us for)

Why do students get so many less rights then we would accept for 90% of adults? I can't think of many jobs that won't allow mental health days at all. Even doctors, fire fighters, police, etc get days if they can find someone that can cover.

So much pressure on children now a days! There are many publicized suicides involving teenagers in our area. A lot of people feel like it is the massive pressure put on them. It's disgraceful.

 

[kamik86]

No. We have the mentality of staying home only if you are on your death bed. I come from a long line of hard workers- My dad worked for the same place for 55 years with not a single call out. My mom received chemotherapy and radiation and still showed up to work everyday through her ovarian cancer. It's in my blood I think, we just don't get sick or it seems to fall on a weekend etc.. My Freshman in high school has never had a sick day or mental health day. BUT with that being said I have taken them out for a few days at Disney.

I used to be like this. Then a few things have made me change it.

On mental health days and just because days I realized how much PTO I was accruing and new some higher level managers that were losing their time off because they did this and got so high up that now they couldn't take a day off without at least checking in with their blackberry.

On sick days the last time I got sick was shortly before a cruise. It fell on a weekend and because I wanted to be able to be sure I could go instead of powering through all weekend I actually stopped and rested. I got better so much faster then where normally a cold will stretch for a week or more. So today I'm home sick. HOnestly I could go into work. Its just a scratchy throat, a bit of a headache and a stuffed up nose. But if I take today off instead of fighting thought it I'll probably feel better tomorrow.

 

[cjparker0110]

It's not how I was brought up, and unless you are sick or dying - you go to school.

I'm with you. Here are acceptable reasons to miss school IMO:
- illness/hospitalization
- family emergency
- death in the family
- Dr/Dental appointments that aren't available at more convenient times
- family trips (while I know some people are against taking kids out of school for this, I feel parents should be in control of this decision)

Playing a new video game? Nope. That's a bit far-fetched no matter how well he is doing in school. He can do that over the weekend. It really would set a precedent in his life. How many more PS4 games will come out before he graduates? What about college? What about adulthood? I understand the desire to just miss a day of school/responsibility to have a bit of fun, but I believe it would be a mistake to allow it. Keep up the great work!

 

[Vijoge]

I'm raising a granddaughter, 17, honor roll, swim team, employed as a lifeguard and swim instructor. I have sanctioned only one missed day this year-the day of prom, so she can get her hair, nails, etc done. I am taking her out of school in January to go to WDW with her 3 younger sisters. But that's different than "just for no reason" LOL

 

[lovin'fl]

I'm with you. Here are acceptable reasons to miss school IMO:
- illness/hospitalization
- family emergency
- death in the family
- Dr/Dental appointments that aren't available at more convenient times
- family trips (while I know some people are against taking kids out of school for this, I feel parents should be in control of this decision)

Playing a new video game? Nope. That's a bit far-fetched no matter how well he is doing in school. He can do that over the weekend. It really would set a precedent in his life. How many more PS4 games will come out before he graduates? What about college? What about adulthood? I understand the desire to just miss a day of school/responsibility to have a bit of fun, but I believe it would be a mistake to allow it. Keep up the great work!

Totally agree! Though my DDs (twins-17) tell me their friends are allowed to miss 'just because' all the time...so they tell me, but I am not allowing it.

 

[scrapquitler]

I'm raising a granddaughter, 17, honor roll, swim team, employed as a lifeguard and swim instructor. I have sanctioned only one missed day this year-the day of prom, so she can get her hair, nails, etc done. I am taking her out of school in January to go to WDW with her 3 younger sisters. But that's different than "just for no reason" LOL

At our local high school, if you aren't in school the full day the day of the prom, you aren't allowed at Prom.

 

[luvmy2sams]

I've let my kiddos (HS junior and 7th grade) take "mental health" days, especially since they've reached their middle and high school years. Both kids stay on top of their academics and aren't behavior problems at home. I don't see the problem with taking a day once in a great while. It's not going to put them so far behind that they are unable to recover. Then again, I'm the teacher that sends a Disney to-do list with my students who miss a few days for vacation during the school year.

 

[kangamangus]

I used to be like this. Then a few things have made me change it.

On mental health days and just because days I realized how much PTO I was accruing and new some higher level managers that were losing their time off because they did this and got so high up that now they couldn't take a day off without at least checking in with their blackberry.

On sick days the last time I got sick was shortly before a cruise. It fell on a weekend and because I wanted to be able to be sure I could go instead of powering through all weekend I actually stopped and rested. I got better so much faster then where normally a cold will stretch for a week or more. So today I'm home sick. HOnestly I could go into work. Its just a scratchy throat, a bit of a headache and a stuffed up nose. But if I take today off instead of fighting thought it I'll probably feel better tomorrow.

I'm very fortunate and lucky that I have an employer (I'm an RN) that allows us to cash out up to 100 hours each year. So I do accrue about 240 hours a year, take about 60 hours off during the year for camping/disney and then cash out 100. It still leaves me with over 100 hours in case something happens.

 

[kamik86]

I'm very fortunate and lucky that I have an employer (I'm an RN) that allows us to cash out up to 100 hours each year. So I do accrue about 240 hours a year, take about 60 hours off during the year for camping/disney and then cash out 100. It still leaves me with over 100 hours in case something happens.

Ah my employer sometimes allows us to cash out either 40 or 80 hours a year but they don't always do it so you dont' want to be right where your are about to start losing hours and find out they don't offer it this year. They didn't offer it last year but did the two before.

So now when I'm not feeling well or sometimes just if work is pretty slow so that I know I can take a day off without missing any deadlines I'll just take a day off. I could see being an RN that you might be more reluctant to do that as well though since calling out may leave others in a bad place. My job is one where I have my workload and it is only for rare high priority items that someone else would get assigned my work if I was absent (and if I had any of those I would be much less likely to call out). Most of the time I don't have to worry that someone else is going to get my work while I'm gone.

I'm raising a granddaughter, 17, honor roll, swim team, employed as a lifeguard and swim instructor. I have sanctioned only one missed day this year-the day of prom, so she can get her hair, nails, etc done. I am taking her out of school in January to go to WDW with her 3 younger sisters. But that's different than "just for no reason" LOL

Prom is on a school day there? Ours was always on a saturday.