overweight people who constantly eat out

[Hrhpd]

My doctor brings up a 5 pound weight gain for me but a friend of mine is 100 pounds overweight and he doesn't say a word to her (same doctor). I know he doesn't say anything to her because when I talk to her about my appointment and tell her that he commented on the weight gain she tells me her weight is never discussed. Definitely, hit or miss with doctors

I have a hard time believing that.

It is much more plausible that your friend is embarrassed and doesn't want to admit the doctor talked to her about her weight. Especially to a friend that just told her the same doctor told her to put on 5 pounds.

To admit to somebody that the doctor has discussed your weight with you would be very difficult to somebody struggling with their weight. It can make you feel very ashamed to have to admit that.

I know if a friend asked me whether the doctor had discussed my weight, I would find it way too personal to discuss and just brush the question off with "nope, we never discussed it" when we had actually discussed it at length.

Because to tell somebody that the doctor prescribed it, could make somebody think they have license to uphold the doctor's wishes and try to be involved in their weight loss.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I eat very healthy and we rarely go out to dinner, maybe once a month. I go for walks everyday, do some of a few workout dvds that I have. I am in my 50's and my BMI is 21. I feel like I live a healthy lifestyle and really enjoy food and dont feel deprived at all.

It would seem that you can offset some of your concern for your friend by inviting her over for a healthy dinner.

And I guess some posted that you were bragging. I asked, you answered--that is not bragging.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Well, first of all, the OP didn't ask a question.

No she didn't. *I* did. I asked her about her habits because I felt they were relevant. So she answered the question with relevant data as to how it is working for her.

It seems you may have missed the exchange.

I'm overweight. I see nothing wrong with her "elephant in the room" comment. It is a common saying and can be used for any situation with people of any size.

I used to have perfect blood pressure. Don't be confident it will stay that way forever.

 

[leebee]

I think you missed my point. If a dietician is getting their continuing education from their annual meetings which are sponsored by McDonalds and Coke, do you really think they are learning that McDonalds and Coke are bad for you? No, they are not. They learn that you can eat so and so and be fine. It's a conflict of interest.

Do you really believe that people who have pursued a bachelor's and/or a master's degree, done internships, and continuing education, are so easily led or misinformed, that they will forget all their education and knowledge because of the sponsor of an annual meeting? How insulting!! (and how misled if you think this is where continuing education comes from)

 

[mariolatry]

OP, I'm sorry, but this is such a brag thread I bet your fat relative is extremely impressed that you eat very healthy and rarely go out to dinner. I bet they marvel at the fact that you walk everyday and do workout dvds. I bet that they go on the internet to tell the world that THEY have a relative who is in their 50's and that their BMI is 21! Of course, it is much more likely that they are just enjoying their own life and not giving what you are doing a second thought.

Yes, you absolutely have a right to your opinion, but come on, just put it out there, own it and say, "Geez, I've got this fat relative that eats out all the time and it just bugs the ever-lovin' crap out of me!"

It's called a "humblebrag" nowadays.


I'm one of those fatties that people complain about and I can assure you that the nurses and doctors get plenty of digs in about weight. You may not always hear about them but I'm sure she's experienced them. The irony for me is that I get 200 minutes of cardio in per week, have the same BP as you do, and perfect blood chemistry.

Don't worry too much about it. She will sort it out.

 

[tvguy]

Okay, weight, life style, and diet ARE issues in regards to heart health.
But the month of May just has left me realizing that genetic background is a pretty big factor too.
I had 3 friends have bypass surgery in May.

The first really does fit the stereotype, 63 years old, overweight for decades, bad diet, no exercise. His bypass was to prevent a heart attack because of blockage.

The second does not. 61 years old, distance bike rider, very low body fat, vegetarian for the last 20 years. Bypass was to prevent a heart because of blockage.

The third, 53 year old woman, distance running, very very low body fact, vegetarian for 30 years, had a mild heart attack. Bypass surgery because of the heart attack and blockage. Doctor went back over her blood work for 20 years and told her on paper, she was at no risk of a heart attack. Oh well.

 

[lustergirl]

It's called a "humblebrag" nowadays.


I'm one of those fatties that people complain about and I can assure you that the nurses and doctors get plenty of digs in about weight. You may not always hear about them but I'm sure she's experienced them. The irony for me is that I get 200 minutes of cardio in per week, have the same BP as you do, and perfect blood chemistry.

Don't worry too much about it. She will sort it out.

Amen!! Too look at me you would think I was unhealthy. Before my knee injury I use to go to the gym 5 or 6 days a week taking zumba and body combat classes. I also started a couch to 5k program, this is what injured my knee. My blood pressure is fine along with bloodwork.

 

[LuvGoofy6]

I have a hard time believing that.

It is much more plausible that your friend is embarrassed and doesn't want to admit the doctor talked to her about her weight. Especially to a friend that just told her the same doctor told her to put on 5 pounds.

To admit to somebody that the doctor has discussed your weight with you would be very difficult to somebody struggling with their weight. It can make you feel very ashamed to have to admit that.

I know if a friend asked me whether the doctor had discussed my weight, I would find it way too personal to discuss and just brush the question off with "nope, we never discussed it" when we had actually discussed it at length.

Because to tell somebody that the doctor prescribed it, could make somebody think they have license to uphold the doctor's wishes and try to be involved in their weight loss.

You have a hard time believing this???? First, I didn't ask her if the doctor discussed her weight (read my post). She volunteered that info when I complained about my appointment. I'm not sure what type of relationship you have with your friends that makes weight a personal question. I have a very close relationship with many lifelong friends and we discuss many personal things. You don't know me or my friend to "presume" that she is being dishonest or my question was "too personal." Lastly, he talked to me about the 5 pound weight gain...he didn't tell me to put 5 pounds on as you wrote.

 

[Laura66]

I'm sure most doctors are concerned and do care and do address it. But I'm sure it's a challenge for them. Never addressing it at all is not a good thing - but continuing to address it when the patient is not making changes (not being ready or motivated, depressed, etc) they run the risk of shaming them and then they won't see a doctor at all.

 

[LuvGoofy6]

I'm sure most doctors are concerned and do care and do address it. But I'm sure it's a challenge for them. Never addressing it at all is not a good thing - but continuing to address it when the patient is not making changes (not being ready or motivated, depressed, etc) they run the risk of shaming them and then they won't see a doctor at all.

I agree with this 100%. I felt a bit put out that my doctor made a comment about 5 pounds. I wanted to say, "really????" to him. If it were more weight and more difficult to lose then I think I would be very hesitant to go back.

 

[Sadie22]

I think you missed my point. If a dietician is getting their continuing education from their annual meetings which are sponsored by McDonalds and Coke, do you really think they are learning that McDonalds and Coke are bad for you? No, they are not. They learn that you can eat so and so and be fine. It's a conflict of interest.

There's a documentary about someone who ate McD's food every day for 30 days, so I think that cat is out of the bag. The menu has since been changed. McDonald's provides nutrition information for its menu items.

Sponsors are not teachers. They provide funding. My nutritionist hands out coupons from Campbell's, Colgate, and Kellogg's, for diabetic-friendly items.

I believe I mentioned what I could eat off the menu at McDonald's which is a fine meal for a type 2 diabetic with my needs. Not everything on the menu at every restaurant is bad for everybody. There's more concern with nutrition these days and restaurants have made changes to include things on the menu so that those like me might find something. There may be only one thing on the menu at a fast-food-type establishment that I choose so that I won't go over my planned fat and carb count for that meal or snack, but there's usually something.

Everyone knows Coca-Cola is bad for diabetics UNLESS they have low blood glucose at that particular time. There is a time and place for many things.

 

[Robinrs]

I agree with this. What amazes me is that some people get slammed for opinions but there are people who are downright mean in what they write and people let that go more than the opinions.

I've noticed it lately too, and I've been here for YEARS! I open a thread and get an eyeful of passive aggressive highly offended posts to one person's thought

It feels like the DIS should be renamed PMS.

 

[LuvGoofy6]

I've noticed it lately too, and I've been here for YEARS! I open a thread and get an eyeful of passive aggressive highly offended posts to one person's thought

It feels like the DIS should be renamed PMS.

 

[Lynne M]

I'm sure most doctors are concerned and do care and do address it. But I'm sure it's a challenge for them. Never addressing it at all is not a good thing - but continuing to address it when the patient is not making changes (not being ready or motivated, depressed, etc) they run the risk of shaming them and then they won't see a doctor at all.

This is very true, and it's a challenge that doctors talk about often. You can tell a patient that they need to make lifestyle changes until you're blue in the face. It's still the patient's choice. It's an embarrassing, upsetting, even humiliating topic for some people, and if the doctor pushes too hard, the patient stops going to the doctor. So the doctor stops reminding the patient of the obvious, figuring that at least they can continue to help the patient that way, and hoping that at some point they'll decide to make a change.

OP.....let it go. There's nothing you can do about your relative's eating habits. They know they weigh too much, and they know that what they're eating is contributing to their health problems. They know there are healthier foods to eat. They don't need anyone to tell them that. They've heard it from doctors, they've heard it on TV and in the newspaper and magazines and on the internet and from a dozen friends and relatives.

They are making an active choice to eat the way they do. It's their decision. And truly, it's not anyone else's business. Just love them as they are, trying to 'fix' them is only going to make them avoid you.

 

[Planogirl]

You know something? Some people do try to eat the right way but then they hear such things as people saying salads are bad for you and so on. Of course you have to go light or do away with the dressing and the meats might not suit some people but you can only do the best you can. It's hard to stay away from the truly bad items so I think that people should be encouraged rather than torn down constantly.

As for the OP's family member, none of us know what that individual goes through or their state of mind. It's ultimately up to that person to eat the way that they wish to. Concern is nice but support is better.

 

[Disney Doll]

My doctor brings up a 5 pound weight gain for me but a friend of mine is 100 pounds overweight and he doesn't say a word to her (same doctor). I know he doesn't say anything to her because when I talk to her about my appointment and tell her that he commented on the weight gain she tells me her weight is never discussed. Definitely, hit or miss with doctors

I don't believe her. If you go to a doctor who doesn't discuss being 100 lb. overweight with someone, find a new doctor. That level of obesity needs documentation that it was discussed, suggestions made etc. Insurance demands a lot more of that type of proactive medicine than it used to.

And to the person who thinks a nutritionist will be swayed because mcdonalds is sponsoring a seminar I assure you that they are much smarter than that.

 

[ez]

In looking over this post and noting that I have obviously ruffled some feathers, I want to apologize for the title of the post. I guess I could see where it would offend some people right off the bat and that wasn't my intention. I certainly in no way meant that overweight people should not be eating out or that I am judging them on that. That is something I wouldn't even notice in a restaurant, I might notice their smile, a kind word, or their style. I see many women of all shapes and sizes that look so stylish and wonderfully put together and I really admire that. I have always felt that in spite of my normal body weight, I kinda lack being able to achieve that nicely put together look. So anyway thats the kind of stuff I notice. I have a disabled child and together we often experience being stared at and maybe judged, so i hope you can believe me when I say I am not out doing that to people who might be overweight, I am not even seeing it.
The loved one I am talking about is scheduled for surgery in a couple weeks, in spite of flunking most of the pre-op testing. I am tremendously concerned over this and, you have to imagine for me what its like to go out for a meal upon occasion with this person, see what they are eating, and them have them tell you they went back to the restaurant the very next day and had the same thing This person does eat out everyday. Now this persons health issues really blew up about a year ago, and like I said everyone of them could be improved by weightloss. So all i could think of is, if this person had maybe quit eating out a year ago, they probably would be able to lose a pound a week, which could be like 50 pounds, and not be in near the predicament that they are now.

 

[sbtrfly74]

The problem is not eating out, its what they are choosing to eat while they are out. So I'm sure they are not making healthy choices at home either.

I eat out frequently and don't eat diety food. But I do now stay away from fried, battered and greasy food. I do look at nutritional info before going to a restaurant and know what I'm going to have before I get there. I normally don't eat salads out because I can make them at home just as easy. There are salads out there that can be horrible when you think you are eating something healthy. Applebees has some of the worst, nothing with grilled chicken should have over 50gm's of fat in it lol.

I'm in a normal weight range and have high blood pressure that's hereditary and did not change after I lost weight.

I understand your concern but they have to decide to make a change for themselves.

 

[phorsenuf]

In looking over this post and noting that I have obviously ruffled some feathers, I want to apologize for the title of the post. I guess I could see where it would offend some people right off the bat and that wasn't my intention. I certainly in no way meant that overweight people should not be eating out or that I am judging them on that. That is something I wouldn't even notice in a restaurant, I might notice their smile, a kind word, or their style. I see many women of all shapes and sizes that look so stylish and wonderfully put together and I really admire that. I have always felt that in spite of my normal body weight, I kinda lack being able to achieve that nicely put together look. So anyway thats the kind of stuff I notice. I have a disabled child and together we often experience being stared at and maybe judged, so i hope you can believe me when I say I am not out doing that to people who might be overweight, I am not even seeing it.
The loved one I am talking about is scheduled for surgery in a couple weeks, in spite of flunking most of the pre-op testing. I am tremendously concerned over this and, you have to imagine for me what its like to go out for a meal upon occasion with this person, see what they are eating, and them have them tell you they went back to the restaurant the very next day and had the same thing This person does eat out everyday. Now this persons health issues really blew up about a year ago, and like I said everyone of them could be improved by weightloss. So all i could think of is, if this person had maybe quit eating out a year ago, they probably would be able to lose a pound a week, which could be like 50 pounds, and not be in near the predicament that they are now.

Why do you keep referring to her as 'this person' when it's your mom? Seems kinda odd.

 

[HannaBelle]

In looking over this post and noting that I have obviously ruffled some feathers, I want to apologize for the title of the post. I guess I could see where it would offend some people right off the bat and that wasn't my intention. I certainly in no way meant that overweight people should not be eating out or that I am judging them on that. That is something I wouldn't even notice in a restaurant, I might notice their smile, a kind word, or their style. I see many women of all shapes and sizes that look so stylish and wonderfully put together and I really admire that. I have always felt that in spite of my normal body weight, I kinda lack being able to achieve that nicely put together look. So anyway thats the kind of stuff I notice. I have a disabled child and together we often experience being stared at and maybe judged, so i hope you can believe me when I say I am not out doing that to people who might be overweight, I am not even seeing it.

In my personal opinion, your self-deprecating monologue is coming off as condescending and insincere. You obviously do judge others and do monitor their behaviors.