... We're not planning on riding Hagrid's or Velocicoaster. We're also not planning on any of the other big coasters (some of the party are not tall enough and those that are hate coasters). Do we need to really plan our day? ... I'm so used to Disney where I need to plan everything to the minute. It feels weird not to be making a detailed plan.
Short answer, no, you don't have to.
Longer answer: At Disney, if you don't plan (and make all the right moves at the right times) you can just plain miss out on certain rides. You don't have that problem at Universal. Express Pass doesn't have reserved times, etc. On the other hand, though, it doesn't hurt to
have a plan, especially a loose, flexible one! I'd actually call it having
priorities, and an informed knowledge about an order to pursue. For sure, have the members of the party investigate the attractions and decide on their top ones. What
is just like Disney is that early morning and late evening are times when you can get more done or have more fun. You might strategize how you start and end your day, and play the rest by ear.
Or can we just go from ride to ride as we wish?
Yup. Now, hopefully it goes without saying that you've got the 2-park ("hopper," in Disney lingo) tickets. These are even more useful than at Disney because the parks are so close together. You can ride the Hogwarts Express if you happen to be near the back of the park and the line is short, or you can just walk from gate to gate in like 5 minutes.
Even though the parks are close together and comparatively small, you might want to minimize back-tracking.
Are the Express Pass lines usually short? We're hoping to get both parks done in one day.
Although some have reported other experiences, it seems they generally aim to keep them to 20 minutes. Both parks in one day is totally doable especially if you don't want to do "all" the things.