Promposals....

[DizBelle]

Do these seem like the most ridiculous things to anyone else?

 

[xlsm]

We were just talking about this at a PTO event today! All of us think they're too much except one mom who is actively encouraging her son to do something big. He apparently has no interest and just assumes his girlfriend is going with him. The mom has a whole Pinterest board dedicated to the cause though

I have several years to go before this is an issue for my own boys, but I'm not going to encourage it unless they're just dead set on it for some reason. I think it's a little ridiculous, personally.

 

[rastahomie]

Not particularly, no. I actually think they're kind of cute. It's good to see kids putting in some effort. If it's worth doing, it's worth overdoing, I always say.

 

[lady_hlh]

Just wondering is writing Prom on a girls locker considered a promposal? My DD's friend was asked that way by an older guy that is on the crew team with her. Luckily no one has asked my DD to go this year, I'm not ready for her to start dating yet. I tell her that college is soon enough to start dating

 

[cabanafrau]

Just wondering is writing Prom on a girls locker considered a promposal? My DD's friend was asked that way by an older guy that is on the crew team with her. Luckily no one has asked my DD to go this year, I'm not ready for her to start dating yet. I tell her that college is soon enough to start dating

Yep, that's a promposal.

What I think a lot of the adults against them don't understand is they're basically expected now, so not doing them isn't the norm for quite a lot of kids today. My older DD graduated in 2012 and they were not a thing in our area at all. My younger DD went with her boyfriend to his prom in 2015 and he did a simple promposal to her based on an activity they participated in together. Technically it was "public", but it was witnessed by less people than you can count on one hand. A friend took a picture which DD & her boyfriend put up on their social media. 2016 DD invited same boyfriend to her prom with a different promposal at another activity they both had participated in -- boyfriend was back coaching the team that year. The two teachers who ran the group witnessed it and took pictures. It was a bigger deal to the teachers because DD and her boyfriend were in the group throughout their years in HS and had met on the team, with the same two teachers running the team the whole time. When Monday rolled around DD got comments from a lot of the staff who know her and the boyfriend about having seen her promposal from the other teachers' texts, oh so cute, oh so sweet, etc.

If I put down here what each promposal consisted of I'd probably get comments of, that's cute, that's neat, etc. They were, but mostly because they were genuinely done sentimentally for DD and her boyfriend, sort of a memory lane thing of their relationship. No Pinterest, no crowds, primarily just a nod to today's social norms that really fit them as a couple.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

Promposal to a girlfriend is weird to me. If you are bf/gf isn't it assumed you are going together? Or if someone else asks you in a more elaborate fashion you say yes to them?

They are a thing sort of a thing around here. Not everyone does them. It depends on the school. I asked DS if they do that at his school and he shrugged it off and said some do it but it's not a big deal.

I think some are cheesy and cute but some are way too over the top and expensive. I heard of one kid in a coworkers kids school sent something like 200 roses to the girl and asked her to prom.

 

[kimblebee]

Thank god they aren't a thing here.

 

[amesJ_erderW]

I always just asked a girl in person...and then asked another girl after the first one said no LOL.

 

[cabanafrau]

Promposal to a girlfriend is weird to me. If you are bf/gf isn't it assumed you are going together? Or if someone else asks you in a more elaborate fashion you say yes to them?

They are a thing around here. I think some are cheesy and cute but some are way too over the top and expensive. I heard of one kid in a coworkes kids school sent something like 200 roses to the girl and asked her to prom.

DD had been dating the same boyfriend since sophomore year and promposals were still socially expected at their HS. DD actually did have some other male friends jokingly tell her they wanted to take her to prom. They did mean it, but realized she'd be going with her BF. They're not interested in DD romantically, just good friends with no GF at the time who seriously would have had a good time hanging with DD as a friend/date at prom instead of what happens when they invite another girl they like as a date, but don't necessarily want to be in a relationship with. If DD had been available they knew they could ask her and it would have just been a fun evening, not the expectation they were now dating.

I can tell you the most expensive promposal of the two DD was involved in was the one with five poster boards.

 

[focusondisney]

Do these seem like the most ridiculous things to anyone else?

Yes.

 

[bjscheel]

They can be over the top or they can be fun and cute. I just hope nobody goes overboard and then gets a rejection! At my girls' school, I think you check around with their friends and make sure they don't have a date and that there's a good chance you'll get a yes before you go through with it! I haven't heard of any huge ones here, usually just making a posterboard sign, or giving a food gift that has prom on it in some way, or even a hangman game on the whiteboard.

This year DD18 made a sign to ask her date (just a friend) and she pulled it out in choir. But last year she had a boyfriend who had graduated so she just talked to him whether he would come back for another prom or not. DD15 was asked this year and it was very simple. While with friends, he taped a little note on her back to ask her to prom that had a reference to the musical that they were both in. So nothing major here. DD18 is a little put out that she's always had to do the asking (junior year because he was no longer a student and senior year because she wanted to snag this guy before someone else did as he has lots of female friends). On the other hand, DD15 had at least two other guys who would have asked her if the first one didn't. I think they like to ask underclassmen for better odds of a yes!

 

[Pkltm]

Thank god they aren't a thing here.

Saw one at the Moose game last week.... they are coming

 

[jdb in AZ]

A kid I know did a promposal just before class started. With a friend making a video on his phone, the kid gave the girl a rose and got down on one knee, etc. She said yes, then later told him no. I assume she didn't want to publically humiliate him by saying no in front of the whole class.

 

[cabanafrau]

Thank god they aren't a thing here.

Why? If they became a thing where you live, how would it impact you? I have a daughter who was involved in two of them and I didn't see either one. If I didn't know her I wouldn't know about either one. I don't think any of our neighbors are aware of either one. It was a talking point in their social groups at school, no big deal. Both promposals, all in, totaled under five bucks easily.

 

[mjkacmom]

THey are common here, and have been for several years. The one dm TV kids have been involved with we're very low key. I didn't know about any of them beforehand.

 

[kimblebee]

Saw one at the Moose game last week.... they are coming

OH NOOOOOOO

Why? If they became a thing where you live, how would it impact you? I have a daughter who was involved in two of them and I didn't see either one. If I didn't know her I wouldn't know about either one. I don't think any of our neighbors are aware of either one. It was a talking point in their social groups at school, no big deal. Both promposals, all in, totaled under five bucks easily.

I just think it's something overblown and has no real purpose. It seems like a case of oneupmanship and sets people up to feel bad if they don't get one as great as their friends.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

Everything has to be such a production nowadays. My kids are going to be so disappointed with their lives

 

[mi*vida*loca]

OH NOOOOOOO



I just think it's something overblown and has no real purpose. It seems like a case of oneupmanship and sets people up to feel bad if they don't get one as great as their friends.

That's what it seems to be to me. Especially with social media and everything being documented. A promposal goes viral in ten minutes with snapchat and IG. It's about who can get the most elaborate or "best" promposal.

 

[luvsJack]

I think they can be cute and fun. I don't know many kids who spent money on it or anything like that. DD was asked with posters on her car junior year and senior year her date related it to WWE and gave her a replica of a WWE belt. Cute, inexpensive and meaningful to her.

Some just give the girl/boy a ring pop and ask. A baseball player used all the team bats to spell out "PROM?" on the football field. One boy covered the girl's car with sticky notes.

I think folks overthink this stuff. Its not really a production or over done. Its just a cute way to ask. Most of the kids around here just seem to be trying to make the promposal meaningful to their bf/gf not really one up anyone.

And I certainly would hope that no boy would just assume that his gf is going to go buy an expensive dress without being asked to prom!

 

[Kitty 34]

THey are common here, and have been for several years. The one dm TV kids have been involved with we're very low key. I didn't know about any of them beforehand.

Here, too.