Re-homing a pet and kids

[firefly_ris]

You can frame it as you were fostering the cat for grandpa -- and by nature fostering is not a permanent situation, but the entire point is to do what's best for the animal you're fostering and be a good helper. I've fostered dogs and cats for several years and my kids are now 6, 8 and 10 and they have a good understanding of what they're doing when we accept a foster into the home. Do they miss them? Sure yes. They will sometimes bring up past fosters and ask if I know how they are doing (some I do, some I don't), but they always come away from the experience glad that they were able to help a pet when they needed us. Don't fill the void immediately -- I think some sadness is an imperative lesson and it will make them more resilient and understand that they don't get every single thing they want in life, and that a new pet isn't a replacement for a different one. I'd focus on the positive way you helped grandpa and his cat and how it's important to help. Just IMO.

 

[snoopy5386]

Thanks all, I appreciate the advice. We have had many talks about how it will make grandpa happy to have his cat back, but it's still so hard. The cat has lived with us longer than it did with grandpa (he was a kitten that showed up at grandpa's house early last summer). Chances are he will come live with us again in the future, but it could be 5-10 years. It's just hard to see them so sad.

 

[FigmentSpark]

Thanks all, I appreciate the advice. We have had many talks about how it will make grandpa happy to have his cat back, but it's still so hard. The cat has lived with us longer than it did with grandpa (he was a kitten that showed up at grandpa's house early last summer). Chances are he will come live with us again in the future, but it could be 5-10 years. It's just hard to see them so sad.

Oh! Any chance you want to just get grandpa a new cat and keep his?

 

[Minniesgal]

Get the kittens now. Yes, two. Two cats, half as much work is the equation as they will entertain each other - and the kids.

Excellent idea

 

[monkeydawn]

I'm going to say something that hasnt been brought up and will probably be unpopular but the kids are right about letting the cat out, it is a dangerous way to allow your cat to live. Most rescues would not allow adoption out to a family that intended on doing this.

Now, I know the acceptable course of action here isnt to refuse to give the cat back. But can you talk to your dad about this specific concern. Based on what youve said, I am guessing the cat was OK as indoor only at your place. If you let the cat go back to indoor/ outdoor and then you have to take him in down the line after more time to establish this bad habit has set in, the cat could be very vocal about not being let out. How would you feel about owning an indoor/outdoor cat?

So if you could have a discussion with your dad to find out his reasons for allowing the cat out and let him know the dangers of allowing a cat out, perhaps he will see that he shouldnt be doing this. That will hopefully help some of the kids concerns and possibly save you some future aggregation.

 

[VandVsmama]

Thanks all, I appreciate the advice. We have had many talks about how it will make grandpa happy to have his cat back, but it's still so hard. The cat has lived with us longer than it did with grandpa (he was a kitten that showed up at grandpa's house early last summer). Chances are he will come live with us again in the future, but it could be 5-10 years. It's just hard to see them so sad.

Your kids will learn to deal with it. This is a teaching opportunity for you and a learning opportunity for them. Your kids need to learn that the cat is being reunited with his intended companion. They'll still miss Grandpa's cat. But then they'll get to see Grandpa's cat the next time you visit.

It's also an important lesson about how sometimes some things in life are not forever. They're not permanent. Sometimes a friend is in your life for a short period of time and it's wonderful, but then it's time for the friend to move on. That's what is happening here. The cat isn't dying. It's just going back to live where it was originally intended to live.