Real ID: Married Women Beware!

[RedAngie]

And yet another reason I'm so glad that I didn't change my name when we got married! Never been an issue for us, and we've been married 30 years.

Me too - married almost 40 years - never changed my name - even though - in SC - in 1980 - it was illegal (May still be for all I know) for a woman to keep her name after she got married...

Yet another reason to avoid changing your name. I never did and had zero problems with Real ID.

I didn't change my name either of the times I got married. No official problems, but occasionally there were minor awkward situations, such as DH being addressed by my last name and vice versa.

I'm surprised to her it wasn't legal for a married woman to keep her birth name in South Carolina in 1980. I remember reading about a case that happened in Maryland in the 1960's. A woman got married and decided to keep her maiden name. That state's DMV cancelled her driver's license and the Board of Elections refused to allow her to vote unless she took her husband's surname. She sued and won. There was a similar case in Wisconsin about the same time with the same results In those states anyway, women could not be forced to take their husband's surnames after marrying.

 

[MumziMom]

I know of two couples who combined the wife's and husband's last names and took both.

One of the recent mayors of Los Angeles did the same

I kept mine, my husband kept his, and

The official Texas websites do a lousy job of explaining this. When you check on their page on renewing DLs, there is nothing said about Real ID.

I found this for you on the Texas Department of Public Safety site: http://www.dps.texas.gov/DriverLicense/federalRealIdAct.htm I agree that it is challenging to find information - it was not clear to me until I read the following that from now on, ALL Texas drivers licenses will be Real ID, and you will be required to provide the required paperwork when renewing:

"8. I don't fly on domestic flights or visit federal facilities. Do I still need to get a compliant card?
No. As long as your existing Texas DL is still valid and not expired, it is acceptable for driving on any public roadway nationwide, and an identification card will continue to be valid for non-federal identification purposes. However, when you renew again, you will receive a REAL ID compliant card."

And this is the form DL-57, which will show you which documents you will need: http://www.dps.texas.gov/internetforms/Forms/dl-57.pdf

Hope this helps!

 

[MumziMom]

I didn't change my name either of the times I got married. No official problems, but occasionally there were minor awkward situations, such as DH being addressed by my last name and vice versa.

I'm surprised to her it wasn't legal for a married woman to keep her birth name in South Carolina in 1980. I remember reading about a case that happened in Maryland in the 1960's. A woman got married and decided to keep her maiden name. That state's DMV cancelled her driver's license and the Board of Elections refused to allow her to vote unless she took her husband's surname. She sued and won. There was a similar case in Wisconsin about the same time with the same results In those states anyway, women could not be forced to take their husband's surnames after marrying.

Yes, I was discussing some of these with my daughter recently - she just turned 21. I had forgotten/was surprised to see, that women were not allowed to apply for credit cards until 1974. So they were truly in a bind if they needed to leave an unsafe situation. Imagine being on your own with young kids with no ability to obtain your own credit. I had a frustrating little thing happen 4 years ago - 2015. We purchased a used car, but wanted to help our son build his credit, so he was primary on the loan, I was secondary, with my name alone being on the title. They wouldn't put my husband's name on the title, as he wasn't on the loan. I'm a teacher, use our credit union, and I'm primary on this account. My husband came along to check out the car with me, but all the paperwork was with me - the check was from me, the title in my name, I signed the papers and I asked most of the questions, as the car was, after all, for me. About two weeks after purchase, there was a small refund for some sort of dmv fee in the mail, and it was sent to my husband, in his name alone. He called them back and had them re-issue the check. Some would say that was being too picky - it is a legally binding contract which my husband had nothing to do with.

 

[robinb]

I didn't change my name either of the times I got married. No official problems, but occasionally there were minor awkward situations, such as DH being addressed by my last name and vice versa.

I'm surprised to her it wasn't legal for a married woman to keep her birth name in South Carolina in 1980. I remember reading about a case that happened in Maryland in the 1960's. A woman got married and decided to keep her maiden name. That state's DMV cancelled her driver's license and the Board of Elections refused to allow her to vote unless she took her husband's surname. She sued and won. There was a similar case in Wisconsin about the same time with the same results In those states anyway, women could not be forced to take their husband's surnames after marrying.

I had a couple of awkward moments when someone didn’t seem to get it that my last name was different than my DD’s last name. But no one ever questioned that I was her mother.

 

[RedAngie]

Yep. My mother's credit cards had Mrs. Husband's First and Last Names back then. She never had a paying job after I was born, so I'm not sure how she got credits cards in her name alone in the later 70s. Maybe my father had to co-sign until she established credit in her name.

In the late 60's it was my church's 75th anniversary. They published a commemorative book. ALL of the photos of women were identified as "Mrs. Husband's Name," even the group photos of women's-only clubs and associations.

 

[RedAngie]

I had a couple of awkward moments when someone didn’t seem to get it that my last name was different than my DD’s last name. But no one ever questioned that I was her mother.

My daughters have hyphenated last names. Mine-His. ExH and I agreed to this. His father had a major problem with this at first, but came to accept it after a few years.

A woman I work with kept her maiden name. She and her husband have two daughters. They decided their first child would take the surname of the parent of the same gender. The second child would take the name of the other parent regardless of gender. She says people often assume her daughters have different fathers but it's never been a major problem.

 

[lanejudy]

I had forgotten/was surprised to see, that women were not allowed to apply for credit cards until 1974.

Nationally accepted credit cards were relatively few before then. People traveled with cash or travelers’ cheques. Many individual stores offered credit - local places did it manually and Mom would stop in the day after pay day with a check to pay any balance. “Applying for credit” at a local store often was as simple as being a regular customer who never bounced a check on them. My parents had a Sears credit card, but it likely was a joint account. Life was very different from today.

 

[china mom]

I got married overseas and my original marriage certificate is in Greek. When I changed my name with Motor Vehicles in 1995, they required a translated copy, notorized by the Greek embassy. What a pain.

For real ID, I took my passport, soc sec card (with married name) and two prices of Mail. I had a 4:45 appointment and was out the door at 4:55

 

[Skippy918]

I kept mine, my husband kept his, and

I found this for you on the Texas Department of Public Safety site: http://www.dps.texas.gov/DriverLicense/federalRealIdAct.htm I agree that it is challenging to find information - it was not clear to me until I read the following that from now on, ALL Texas drivers licenses will be Real ID, and you will be required to provide the required paperwork when renewing:

"8. I don't fly on domestic flights or visit federal facilities. Do I still need to get a compliant card?
No. As long as your existing Texas DL is still valid and not expired, it is acceptable for driving on any public roadway nationwide, and an identification card will continue to be valid for non-federal identification purposes. However, when you renew again, you will receive a REAL ID compliant card."

And this is the form DL-57, which will show you which documents you will need: http://www.dps.texas.gov/internetforms/Forms/dl-57.pdf

Hope this helps!

Your first link was helpful. Looks like we can renew 2 years early. Unless I plan to fly somewhere, I’ll probably just wait.

 

[MumziMom]

My daughters have hyphenated last names. Mine-His. ExH and I agreed to this. His father had a major problem with this at first, but came to accept it after a few years.

A woman I work with kept her maiden name. She and her husband have two daughters. They decided their first child would take the surname of the parent of the same gender. The second child would take the name of the other parent regardless of gender. She says people often assume her daughters have different fathers but it's never been a major problem.

We have friends who did something similar. I had a real eye-opener once a few years back when eating lunch with some co-workers, and there was some clarification about someone others were talking about, as the mother in the family had a different name from the kids - she was, in fact, a doctor, and kept her own name. One of the older men at the table said "Ohhh, she's THAT kind of woman.." I had previously had some great conversations with him, as his daughter was attending the excellent liberal arts college I had attended. He was proud of her, and he felt a kinship with me because of this. I turned to him and asked him what he meant. And he said, "Oh you know, she didn't take her husband's name." I replied that I, and all of my friends, from "x" college, (that his daughter attends), kept their own names for a variety of reasons. I have a different last name than my husband. I'm not sure what you mean by that type of woman?" He did not know at all what to say - I guess I don't understand why my choice about my name would be seen as a problem to any one else. I'm not asking anyone else to do it.

 

[MumziMom]

Your first link was helpful. Looks like we can renew 2 years early. Unless I plan to fly somewhere, I’ll probably just wait.

If you have a passport, you should be able to use it instead of Real ID anyway.

 

[MumziMom]

Nationally accepted credit cards were relatively few before then. People traveled with cash or travelers’ cheques. Many individual stores offered credit - local places did it manually and Mom would stop in the day after pay day with a check to pay any balance. “Applying for credit” at a local store often was as simple as being a regular customer who never bounced a check on them. My parents had a Sears credit card, but it likely was a joint account. Life was very different from today.

Yes, I used to travel with traveller's checks, but not anymore. It is a little silly to still even get regular checks, but there are times when they are still needed.

 

[LongLiveRafiki]

We just moved to Georgia so DH and I had to get new licenses. Georgia only offers the Real IDs, so we had to provide the usual birth certificate, social security card, proof of residence, as well as marriage certificate for me since I took his last name. None of that was a big deal (except for having to order a new SS card for me since I lost it but that was done online and mailed free quickly), but we had a moment of panic with DH's proof of identity. He was adopted when he was young and has his former step-dad's last name so his name on his birth certificate doesn't match anything, nor does he have records of the adoption/name change. Thankfully, they accepted his passport as proof of identity which he never had an issue getting a couple years ago despite the name change issue or else he would not have been able to legally drive here after 30 days. Funny thing is, we both had Enhanced (Real ID compliant) licenses from MI before coming here, and he had no issues using his birth certificate with different last name to get it there (this was before he had a passport so I know they had to have accepted his birth certificate).

 

[PrincessShmoo]

When I got married, I changed most of my official documents. Social Security, Driver's license, bank accounts.

After I was married, I got a new passport. I had a previous (expired) passport in my maiden name, so I had to show my marriage license to get the new one, but didn't need birth certificate or any other documents to apply for passport, since I already had one. And I got that one (the old one) by using my mother's passport. Back in the day when she got her passport, minor children were included in the mother's passport. When I applied the first time for my own passport, I just used that one, and I had document that said, in spite of being born abroad I am a citizen (Army brat here).

My passport has First name, Middle name, Maiden name, Married name on it.
My medical records have First name, Middle name, Married name.
Social Security - First, Maiden, Married
Driver's license - First, Maiden, Married

I have to renew my DL next year. I'm planning on taking my passport, social security card and two items with my address on them when I go. I should be good to go.

 

[Kitty 34]

DISers, I'm so sorry I haven't read all the posts but this is what happened to me.

Last year I was going in to renew my Driver's License and decided to go for the one which would allow me to travel. I had my birth certificate and my marriage license. (Been married to DH for over 30 years).

Couldn't get it because I didn't have my marriage license to my first DH whom I was married to for two years in 1978 to 1980. Could only get the regular Driver's license.

 

[jo-jo]

DISers, I'm so sorry I haven't read all the posts but this is what happened to me.

Last year I was going in to renew my Driver's License and decided to go for the one which would allow me to travel. I had my birth certificate and my marriage license. (Been married to DH for over 30 years).

Couldn't get it because I didn't have my marriage license to my first DH whom I was married to for two years in 1978 to 1980. Could only get the regular Driver's license.

See I don't understand this. For 30 odd years , the goverment has seen you as Kitty 34, SS, IRS, voting, whatever......now suddenly you have to prove that you are you.

 

[Kitty 34]

See I don't understand this. For 30 odd years , the goverment has seen you as Kitty 34, SS, IRS, voting, whatever......now suddenly you have to prove that you are you.

I'm with you. What I thought was weird is I'm already collecting my pension and my SS (I'm 65) and believe me Social Security has ALL my info on marriages, my names and what not. I haven't had that marriage license from my first DH in seriously 40 some years. I guess I could go file for it. Heck I never had to do that when I had my passport which is now expired by a couple of years.

 

[jo-jo]

I'm with you. What I thought was weird is I'm already collecting my pension and my SS (I'm 65) and believe me Social Security has ALL my info on marriages, my names and what not. I haven't had that marriage license from my first DH in seriously 40 some years. I guess I could go file for it. Heck I never had to do that when I had my passport which is now expired by a couple of years.

I wonder if you could still apply for a new passport with no issues.

 

[bcla]

If you have a passport, you should be able to use it instead of Real ID anyway.

The only important thing is that the name used to reserve air travel really needs to match the name on the ID used. I've heard of things like someone buying airline tickets for a friend, but using a nickname or a maiden name that didn't match the ID.

 

[sweetpeama]

After looking at the fees for my state which between the real id fee, replacement of driver's license that is not within 6 months of expiration would cost me 107 plus some change or getting a new passport (I can't do a renewal since mine was issued back in the early 90s so is more than 15 years old) being 110 I am thinking that I will just plan on getting a passport and will wait until my license expires in late May 2026 though I could renew it anytime after late November 2025 due to the renew within 6 months of experation date but if you renew after it expires you can not drive until you get it renewed rule. If they don't increase the licensing fees (ha ha they will probally add to the processing fee for the payment if nothing else even for those of us who pay cash because people complained about having to pay a fee for using a credit or debit card instead of quiting being lazy and getting cash from an atm before going and renewing or getting their driver's license or state id for those who do not drive we all get to pay the fee regardless if we use a card, write a paper check or use cash).