? Regarding leaving child alone in room

[robinb]

A little "fear" is healthy;and as far as unlikely-ask anyone who has lost or had a child hurt how "unlikely" it was. It is people who think"that would never happen HERE,or to US"that want to blame someone else if,or when something happens to somebody close to them. Thank goodness I don't think like that! I'm not saying lock-up your kids,just saying be AWARE that stuff happens,thats all.Bad people count on that kind of thinking.

Who is saying that we who are not in the "better safe than sorry!" camp are not aware of things? Of course we are aware of what *might* happen if we let our chilren do X, Y, or Z. Do I worry when I let my DD take her baby steps of independence? You bet! Do I let those worrys consume me? No way. Thank goodness I don't think like that!

 

[Don Disney]

I'm not "consumed",but I am quite tired of trying to get my point across and possibly being misunderstood-so I bid this topic farewell.

 

[redrosesix]

Can you cite that FL state law? I just went looking for it, and I can't find such a statute anywhere. I *did* find this, however, on the current FAQ of the Florida 8th Judicial Circuit Family Court's website http://www.circuit8.org/family/:


There may be a county or local ordinance that applies (I won't dispute that possibility) but according to the 8th Circuit, no such STATE law currently exists in Florida.

Thanks for clearing this issue up -- it's been posted many times on Dis, and nobody has found the evidence to contradict it. Of course, it wouldn't make sense for an 11 year old to NEVER be alone.

I'm sorry i hope i don't offend anyone, but i think the amount of judgment our society places on mothers is nuts. Why are we scaring this woman to death because she wants a cup of coffee. It should be up to the parents as to when they leave thr kids alone. Clearly no child should be in danger, but its just a simple reality that you can't sit 24 hours a day glued to your child. I might be speaking out of place, i only have a 4 year old, so i have not been in a position to leave him alone yet, but come on, when i was 8 I used to walk to school by myself... alone... ask your child what they think they should do if they wake up and your not thr, she what they say, decide if they are ready.

You're going to be a great mom! Try to keep that perspective.

No way. I would never leave a child that young anywhere alone. I don't care if Walt came back from the grave to stand guard outside the door. I believe in age appropriate freedom. I don't think that leaving a 2nd grader in a hotel room and then going to do laundry is age appropriate. Even the most mature 8 year olds might be swayed by a convincing "staff" member or might panic when they wake up and find no adult there.
Of course each parent has to make their own decisions. The OP asked for opinions and that is mine.

OP- I too am an early riser on vacation. I usually make sure I have a book in the room and I make coffee. The WL has a coffee pot in the room with supplies. It is nice to have a little down time in the morning. Have a cup of coffee and sit on the balcony. You could also shower and organize your room. Another thing I would do is at night I would make sure to bring up some snacks to the room so you can maybe have coffee and a donut etc. Otherwise you will be starving by the time your late sleeping child wakes up. Trust me on that.

Ummm...you obviously didn't read the post about the kid who tried to ride the bus while her mom was in the shower.

DS knows that if he needs the details of where we are, when we'll be back, etc., he should look on the bathroom mirror -- we write the note there with soap. I picked up this trick when I was in college and needed to leave a note for a roommate -- it was the one place I knew she was guaranteed not to miss it. Since the bathroom is the only other place where someone can be out of sight in a hotel room, it is also the best place for a note. Big letters written with a bar of soap are very eye-catching, especially if you need to see around them to brush your teeth or shave.

This is an awesome idea -- I'm going to borrow it!

I agree that the OP knows there child best and should use her best judgment.

Having said that I think that as parents our main goal is to turn our children into functioning adults. By 18 they should be pretty self-sufficient (not financially, but capable of taking care of themselves away at College). I believe that to get to that goal, we need to use baby steps. Giving them a little bit more responsibility (and chores) each year.

I think waiting till our children are 14, 15 or 16 to let them do things on their own is just setting them up for a very traumatic freshman year at college.

I would tell my 8 year old the night before what the plan was and feel fine leaving them to get a cut of coffee.

just my .02 cents

sandy

I agree with this. When DD was 2, I was able to carry a tray of food while she walked ahead of me. By the time she was 7, she was responsible enough to have the run of the campground (except for the nature trail) where we have a trailer. I know she's responsible enough to leave in the room alone for a few minutes (DD is 9 now), but it was all the little bits of independence that she was given over the years that got her to this place.

But...sometimes I realize that I don't let her do as much as I could, and it's because I'm not ready for her to grow up. I love spending time with her.

someone already mentioned about the fire alarm (or the actual hotel fire)... but I just want to remind everyone who does leave any child alone in the room, to first go over what to do if the alarm goes off. it happened to us last week in niagara falls (the alarm went off). It happens all the time. so just be sure to add it to the list of "don't answer the door", etc.

What! An alarm went off when we were in Niagara Falls last summer! BTW, we were on the 30th floor.

wow how long until you move to the woods and live off the grid?That is waaaayy to paranoid.I know there are lots of bad people in the world but more often then not in is not a stranger that does these things.I want my kids to stay safe,they are my world BUT I do not want them to be worried at every turn.There are not more bad people now then when we were kids we just hear about it at every turn because of the news media.

There is a lot of evidence that kids who are more worried appear more vulnerable to predators -- it may do more harm than good to make them paranoid.

 

[cuppycake]

I'm sorry, I really don't mean to flame you, but you do know you are handicapping your children? If you are this paranoid you really need to seek professional help to deal with this situation. I think you're probably a great mother in every other way and obviously love your children, but your children will likely be emoitionally harmed by this sort of behavior.

Wow. That's a pretty strong statement. I mean, really? Seek professional help? Emotionally harmed? You're surely joking, right? Simply because she doesn't want to send them on a pirate cruise with strangers? Wow.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I'm sorry, I really don't mean to flame you, but you do know you are handicapping your children? If you are this paranoid you really need to seek professional help to deal with this situation. I think you're probably a great mother in every other way and obviously love your children, but your children will likely be emoitionally harmed by this sort of behavior.

Are you kidding me? I will not let my kids go on the Pirate Cruises either. I don't care how old they are. I am not comfortable with my children out on a boat without a parent there to watch them. I can assure you that we are not handicapping our children because they don't get to go on a Pirate Cruise. I don't need professional help to deal with it. They are not being emotionally harmed because I don't want them on a boat without a parent present.
Everyone has their own comfort levels and things they deem acceptable. I also would never use a hotel babysitting service. I don't care who uses them but there is no way I would ever use one. I don't care who thinks that is paranoid. I don't even know anyone in real life who would use one. However- I don't care if someone does. Why? because YOU have to make the decisions for YOUR family. I am also not going to think you need professional help if you call KNO or Fairy Godmothers to watch your kids. Your family your choice. JMHO YMMV.

 

[livie1205]

I think it is great that all of you love your kids so much but....it does kids no good to keep them under guard until they are 16 or 17 yrs old.I can not think of not letting my 11 yr old not go play in the neighborhood or be alone while I grab coffie then give them keys to a CAR at 16 yrs old after not ever had any freedom.THAT would be scary to me.I know people are worried about the "lurking" stranger that wants to run off with your kids but you can not let that control every move.
My kids each have a phone, they go off in the neighborhood and play ball with their friends and know to call and check in.I can not see me not letting my 9 yr old go on a pirate cruise at wdw.WOW....I am a little more strict with my kids then most but I still allow them freedom to go out and enjoy the world.I worry more about my ex running off with my son one day then a stranger.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Nobody is saying to never give any of your kids freedom but you have to assess the situation and decide if you are comfortable with it and if your child will be able to handle it. Nobody is keeping the kids locked in a room until college.

 

[momx2]

Sorry, I offended some with my statement, but I stand by it. The poster I quoted said "she was so paranoid." This is her problem she is projecting to her child and it will negatively affect them. I'm sure she is a great mother, but way over protective to not let a 9 yr. old on a adult supervised pirate cruise at WDW, unless the child has disabilities I don't know about.

I am watching this very thing happen IR to my neice. It is sad to watch and she is 6 and already struggling. Her parents have coddled her to the point she is dependent on her mom and will not do many things another 6 year old would and is scared of everyone. She will not even stay to play at my house with her cousins without her mother, my sister. It is very sad to watch. She is a brilliant child but is socialized at about a 4 year old level.

 

[chicagodisneyfan]

Are you kidding me? I will not let my kids go on the Pirate Cruises either. I don't care how old they are. I am not comfortable with my children out on a boat without a parent there to watch them. I can assure you that we are not handicapping our children because they don't get to go on a Pirate Cruise. I don't need professional help to deal with it. They are not being emotionally harmed because I don't want them on a boat without a parent present.

It is my belief that you are a helicopter parent and that yes, in your quest to "protect" your child are actually harming them.

Not letting children on a supervised activity, with other children, on a little lake (versus an ocean) all while wearing life jackets seems very overprotective.

What harm could they come to?

 

[Mouse House Mama]

It is my belief that you are a helicopter parent and that yes, in your quest to "protect" your child are actually harming them.

Not letting children on a supervised activity, with other children, on a little lake (versus an ocean) all while wearing life jackets seems very overprotective.

What harm could they come to?

Anything can happen anywhere. I personally am not comfortable with them on ANY boat without a parent present. Sorry but plenty can happen on a lake as well. The people in charge have no emotional investment in my children. If anything should happen (God forbid) they are not going to be as concerned about random children. I am sure they would make a good effort but it is what it is. Sorry but that is true. Now I am not saying that nobody should ever go on them or that the people who run them are morons but it is not within our comfort level.
I do find it funny that you have a "Belief" that I am a helicopter parent. You don't know anything about me other than I will not let my children go on a Pirate Cruise. My children participate in many many activities. Some things we are simply not comfortable with.
FTR- Our children are very young.


ETA- I do know people though who coddle their children beyond belief and their kids won't even play on a playdate unless their Mom is sitting there playing Barbie with them. In cases such as that I do agree they are doing their kids no favors. I will also admit that I find it a bit over the top that they indulge that kind of thing.
We do give our kids plenty of age appropriate freedom but there are certain things that we are not comfortable with.

 

[longstangetrip]

It is my belief that you are a helicopter parent and that yes, in your quest to "protect" your child are actually harming them.

Not letting children on a supervised activity, with other children, on a little lake (versus an ocean) all while wearing life jackets seems very overprotective.

What harm could they come to?

I totally agree. This activity in particular is ridiculously supervised. Are you not letting your kids go to camp? on mission trips as middler schoolers? to the lake with a a friend's family? That makes me sad. Many times we watch other people's kids more closely than our own because of the comfort level we achieve with our own kids. What does a parent have to do with adult supervision being sufficient?

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I totally agree. This activity in particular is ridiculously supervised. Are you not letting your kids go to camp? on mission trips as middler schoolers? to the lake with a a friend's family? That makes me sad. Many times we watch other people's kids more closely than our own because of the comfort level we achieve with our own kids. What does a parent have to do with adult supervision being sufficient?

Once again that particular activity is not within our comfort level.
No, my kids don't go to camp. (BTW- I did ask if they wanted to go to a day camp for a week or two and they were not interested) None of their friends go either. I don't forsee any mission trips either. We also don't live near a lake.
We do let our children do many things but there are certain things that we simpy are not comfortable with.

 

[robinb]

I can not see me not letting my 9 yr old go on a pirate cruise at wdw.

I would not let my 9-year old on the Pirate Cruise ... only because she would be bored out of her gourd! She went when she was FOUR and again at SIX and again at SEVEN and by the last cruise she was one of the oldest kids there! At 9 (nearly 10), it's way too babyish for her.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I would not let my 9-year old on the Pirate Cruise ... only because she would be bored out of her gourd! She went when she was FOUR and again at SIX and again at SEVEN and by the last cruise she was one of the oldest kids there! At 9 (nearly 10), it's way too babyish for her.

See now that is within YOUR comfort level. I think that is great!

 

[momx2]

I would not let my 9-year old on the Pirate Cruise ... only because she would be bored out of her gourd! She went when she was FOUR and again at SIX and again at SEVEN and by the last cruise she was one of the oldest kids there! At 9 (nearly 10), it's way too babyish for her.

My oldest was bored the last time also and she was 8 or 9.

 

[livie1205]

See now that is within YOUR comfort level. I think that is great!

yeh but she said she let her go when she was four and now she does not go because she is to old for it...that is good,her child feels ok with that sort of thing.I have a friend that smothered her dd so much when she was younger and treated her so much like a baby that her dd got pregnant at 17 because she was talked into sex by the very first boy that showed her attention...my friend even said she should have treated her more her age to get her ready for life, now the dd can not do anything for herself still and my friend is taking care of both of them.The dd is CLUELESS when it comes to life.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

yeh but she said she let her go when she was four and now she does not go because she is to old for it...that is good,her child feels ok with that sort of thing.I have a friend that smothered her dd so much when she was younger and treated her so much like a baby that her dd got pregnant at 17 because she was talked into sex by the very first boy that showed her attention...my friend even said she should have treated her more her age to get her ready for life, now the dd can not do anything for herself still and my friend is taking care of both of them.The dd is CLUELESS when it comes to life.

This is an extreme situation. My kids would be fine going on the PC. We as parents are not interested in sending them.

 

[redrosesix]

I would not let my 9-year old on the Pirate Cruise ... only because she would be bored out of her gourd! She went when she was FOUR and again at SIX and again at SEVEN and by the last cruise she was one of the oldest kids there! At 9 (nearly 10), it's way too babyish for her.

Have you looked at the activities at AKL? They do have some programs for older kids.

Anything can happen anywhere. I personally am not comfortable with them on ANY boat without a parent present. Sorry but plenty can happen on a lake as well. The people in charge have no emotional investment in my children. If anything should happen (God forbid) they are not going to be as concerned about random children. I am sure they would make a good effort but it is what it is. Sorry but that is true. Now I am not saying that nobody should ever go on them or that the people who run them are morons but it is not within our comfort level.
I do find it funny that you have a "Belief" that I am a helicopter parent. You don't know anything about me other than I will not let my children go on a Pirate Cruise. My children participate in many many activities. Some things we are simply not comfortable with.
FTR- Our children are very young.

My DD is a baton twirler and was lucky enough to earn herself a spot in the MK parade when she was 8 and again when she was 9. One of the other moms was also a WDW staffer, so I got to find out a bit about how seriously WDW takes the responsibility of the children in their care. If I had thought like you, I would have kept her from doing something she considered "the best day of her life"

BTW, the CM's in charge of the kids have a lot more to lose for making even a tiny mistake eg. not smiling enough, using a swear word, letting a child trip over a rock -- than any parent. They could lose their job for the smallest of incidents. And there is far more security around the children than you will ever know about. Just imagine if something happened to a kid in their care -- that's why they can never let anything happen.

Most kids are safer with the CM's at WDW than they are at school or even at home.

 

[RACHELSMOM1]

I'm sorry, I really don't mean to flame you, but you do know you are handicapping your children? If you are this paranoid you really need to seek professional help to deal with this situation. I think you're probably a great mother in every other way and obviously love your children, but your children will likely be emoitionally harmed by this sort of behavior.

Really? Really? You think I need to seel professional help, really??? Emotionally harmed, really? You know nothing about my children, and I am not about to expose them on these boards, But I will say, you should never judge anyone without knowing the circumstances. I was just going to laugh at your posts, since I am not the only one who feels the way I do, and you are judging them also. Your comments and your high and mighty attitude is very comical!! I have enjoyed reading your posts, really I have.

My princesses and I are all on a first name basis with our therapist, and our psychiatrist, no not what you think!! There is no way my girls can be out of my sight at this age, unless they are at school or church...you have no idea, so don't judge. My family, my children, not your decision, end of story.

 

[mjkacmom]

Really? Really? You think I need to seel professional help, really??? Emotionally harmed, really? You know nothing about my children, and I am not about to expose them on these boards, But I will say, you should never judge anyone without knowing the circumstances. I was just going to laugh at your posts, since I am not the only one who feels the way I do, and you are judging them also. Your comments and your high and mighty attitude is very comical!! I have enjoyed reading your posts, really I have.

My princesses and I are all on a first name basis with our therapist, and our psychiatrist, no not what you think!! There is no way my girls can be out of my sight at this age, unless they are at school or church...you have no idea, so don't judge. My family, my children, not your decision, end of story.

A little defensive... I think she had a great point...