Resort pool etiquette: other parents unsafe children

[kaytieeldr]

They had an adult. OP didn't think that the adult (or his wife) was effective enough. So he escalated, then got mad when he wasn't vindicated.

Yeah, several attempts by the older person with the boys, and by Mrs. OP were ineffective. Only then did OP step in, and the "leave or I'll get a lifeguard" wasn't even his first step.

Saying they are "done here" or else you will get a lifeguard to expel them is telling them to go,

No, it's giving them options, choices.

just don't see any evidence in your post that your daughter was actually in any serious danger, or that the kids were in fact acting much more dangerous than what kids often do at a kids playground

is going down an enclosed slide three at a time and stopping yourselves inside the slide, something kids normally do at playgrounds?

 

[Kaleidodad]

They had an adult. OP didn't think that the adult (or his wife) was effective enough. So he escalated, then got mad when he wasn't vindicated.

Also, the sign at the splash pad doesn't say "Must be <48" to enter." It says "This area is for the enjoyment of children under 48 inches." I'd interpret that as siblings/family being welcome too. (Note, I'm not saying that the kids weren't being obnoxious, just that they weren't expressly prohibited from being there in the first place.)

The kids had to go find their adult and bring her back: obviously she was not directly supervising them. Your second paragraph is definitely splitting hairs, as that's just a "nicer" way of stating a Don't rule.

 

[MamaBelle4]

is going down an enclosed slide three at a time and stopping yourselves inside the slide, something kids normally do at playgrounds?

Yes. Every playground I've ever been to that has more than 2/3 kids, yes.

I tell mine not to do it, not because it is necessarily that dangerous, but because it is rude to the other kids wanting to slide.

 

[Kaleidodad]

is going down an enclosed slide three at a time and stopping yourselves inside the slide, something kids normally do at playgrounds?

It's something kids do at every playground, sure, and it's almost always against the rules because it's a good way for kids to get hurt. And of course the Riviera has detailed slide rules, including one rider at a time and no stopping, clearly posted:

 

[sponica]

I feel like there were pool attendants at the POFQ splash pad area, not life guards but pool attendants who monitored for running/misbehavior/etc.

Look OP: I understand your ultimate goal but not sure the methods were the best. I've been at an indoor playground where a jerk 6 or 7 year old was in the toddler area blocking the path with a huge ball and mocking my 2 year old and her 3 year old cousin (it was my niece's 6th birthday party and it was a private event). I politely asked the girl to let the kids through (I was unsuccessful) and then her parents realized their kid was being a jerk.

Since there were two of you there, one of you could have kept an eye on things while the other went to get help.

It's neither here nor there at this point, since the event is over. I do hope you contact guest services (or member services if it was a points stay) and suggest there be at least pool attendants at the pad, not necessarily life guards but someone to keep an eye on things.

 

[Minniesgal]

Thanks everyone. I appreciate all the responses. It definitely seems like generally a common experience and part of being a new parent.

Moving forward, I understand the best plan based on what I am reading is to get a life guard very early after the unsafe behavior is observed. (Especially if there is no parent, or lifeguard who would notice without me notifying them). This prevents the situation from escalating.

Notifying CMs about well behaved kids who are slightly over 48 inches isn't necessary and unfair to the well behaved kids. Especially those monitoring younger siblings.

With this in mind, I will definitely be notifying the Riviera resort manager to suggest additional supervision of the splash pad area. It was helpful to know other resorts have such supervision and maybe the riveria will end up tweaking their lifeguard deployment to accommodate. After all, it's a brand new resort and things always need to be tweaked after operating for a little while.

As a mum of three now adults (24, 21 and 16) I would never speak to someone else's children. Mainly because they will not recognise your authority and if they refuse to comply you have nowhere to go and it often ends up in parental confrontation

If I felt there was a safety issue I ould remove my child and get an authority figure, life guard manager and return once resolved.

 

[MickeyWaffles]

Maybe this is a cultural shift, but I remember when I was young. Adults were considered authority figures.

I forgot to address this in my previous post.

This doesn’t necessarily apply to this exact situation, but you spoke broadly about a cultural shift. In our house, adults we know and trust are considered authority figures, but you can get in a lot of trouble teaching kids that adults are all authority figures simply because they are adults. There are a lot of bad adults out there. Healthy skepticism about strangers is ok for kids (and helps them stay safe).

That said, the kids were completely in the wrong here. They were misbehaving. They clearly embellished their story to mom. And their mom was wrong. They should have been supervised and shouldn’t have been horsing around the splash pad in the first place.

As I mentioned earlier (and I know you understand) removing your child from the splash pad and getting a CM is the safest way to go here.

 

[bpadair32]

I had an unfortunate expirence at the Disney resort pool this afternoon. I'm curious if anyone else has expierenced something similar and/ or knows what Disney's policy on the matter is.

I have a 2 year old daughter who was having a great time In the splash pad at the Riviera resort. This area is indicated to be reserved for children 48 inches and under. There is no dedicated lifeguard on duty. 99% of the kids are supervised and playing safely.

We had been enjoying the area for around 2 hours, with no issue and many great interactions with other guests. At this point, 3 boys enter the area. 2 appear be over 48 inches. The other is borderline. I had no issue with this until they started behaving in an unsafe manner. Running at full speed, jumping around/over my daughter, sitting in the slide exit, climbing UP the slide, riding the slide 3 at a time and stopping themselves IN the tube slide and sitting there for minutes on end.

Their cousin was making a small effort to control their behavior but quickly gave up. It appeared they had long tuned her out. My wife gently asked them to behave at least once. Eventually, my daughter climbed the stairs to go down the tube slide (having seen no one enter recently). She almost ended up sliding down while the 3 boys were still inside. ( Because they had purposely gotten themselves stuck in there again). Luckily I stopped her before going down, but there was definitely a risk there. Maybe I have an over protective outlook, but I can imagine all types of issues in that scenario.

At this point, I told the boys "either your done here, or I'm going to have to get the life guard". Unsurprisingly, I was ignored. I raised my voice and repeated myself. This time they knew I meant business. They high tailed it out of there, and I figured they opted to learn a valuable lesson instead of being embarrassed by a life guard.

Sadly, I was sorely mistaken. About 10 minutes later, an angry mother comes along with a very Junior life guard and her smallest boy. (Lord knows what story the boy concocted for her benefit). She asked me why I had "threatened" her son. I explained the situation. In my mind, I gave the boys an option. I didn't threaten them. In any case, obviously the mom and I had it out, but that's not why I'm posting. I was most surprised by the life gaurd's response. He said, "come get a life guard. Don't do anything." I responded, "even if I believe the behavior is unsafe? There was no lifeguard around, surely I need to act in that situation." From there he kept repeating the same line about getting a lifeguard. And even asked if I knew CPR, as if that would be a requirement to be involved in pool safety. My wife declined to speak with a manager. I was getting no where.

Can this possibly be the company policy? Surely there are many scenarios where a guest needs to discipline other kids? If this is in fact the actual policy, unsupervised pool areas seem like a bad idea.

Maybe this is a cultural shift, but I remember when I was young. Adults were considered authority figures. Is the best answer to alert lifeguards to kids over 48 inches as soon as they enter a height restricted area? Obviously, larger kids pose a much bigger risk to my daughter than smaller. But kids would be given No benefit of the doubt.

*edit*
Link to a photo of the splash pad for folks who haven't seen it.

I am the type that will yell at my friends kids, etc., but I would NEVER think to yell at strangers kids. I do not think that is appropriate at all, and if it was my kid you were yelling at, we would have words. Getting a life guard or other employee would be the correct way to go. That said, my kids would not have been there unsupervised, so we would not have had the problem to begin with.

 

[dawnball]

The kids had to go find their adult and bring her back: obviously she was not directly supervising them. Your second paragraph is definitely splitting hairs, as that's just a "nicer" way of stating a Don't rule.

View attachment 464870

Nope. The kids went to find their -mom-. OP has said several times that there was a supervising adult. That adult was a cousin, and OP found them unacceptable because the cousin was wearing jeans and sneakers. OP also said that the cousin had reprimanded them multiple times.

This was one kid who met the height requirements (the lifeguard didn't ding him for the height) and his two siblings that were relatively young (since OP says the original 10-14 range was wildly high.) It would be unreasonable and unlike Disney to say that moderately too tall siblings were persona non grata. The other sign at the splash pad says "Exclusive use" of Disney resort guests. Disney knows very well how to say "Only"

 

[dawnball]

Link to a photo of the area. I think not everyone has seen what it looks like.

I'm not sure I'd consider that enclosed tube slide appropriate for a 2 year old, even if no one else was using it. There's a lot of things that can go wrong out of sight, especially if one parent has to monitor both the top and the bottom of the slide. Better safe than sorry.

 

[blbrodger1]

Although I wouldn't have said anything directly to someone else's child, I would have given them major "teacher" side eye, which usually seems to work. It seems like these children were beyond that, so I would have gotten a lifeguard. Or possibly even security if the splash area is not monitored by a lifeguard.

 

[MomOTwins]

is going down an enclosed slide three at a time and stopping yourselves inside the slide, something kids normally do at playgrounds?

Yes, all the time!

 

[kylenne]

The thing that really, really bugs me about this whole thing isn't reprimanding other peoples children, its the fact that children IN A POOL aren't within arms reach, or eye contact with a parent. Seriously, kids in pools need to be watched constantly! and even a splash pool can be deadly! kids can drown in an inch of water. But as an aside rant: I can't stand kids in a hot tub!!! it's not a baby pool, it's too hot for youngsters and man oh man do I hate kids who jump into the hot tub while a group of adults are trying to relax. not cool...

This happened on my last trip when I stayed at BC. SAB has a few hot tubs and one afternoon I was sitting in the adults only one chatting with a few other guests. A woman tried to get in with a small child pleading all kinds of excuses. I guess the death glares she got from us made her lose her nerve and she left lol.

What gets my goat are situations like this, where the parent is setting a bad example for the kids. We see this “rules are for other people” mentality a lot.

 

[kaytieeldr]

I politely asked the girl to let the kids through (I was unsuccessful) and then her parents realized their kid was being a jerk.

the difference between your experience and the OP's is that in your situation, the parents were present.

but you can get in a lot of trouble teaching kids that adults are all authority figures simply because they are adults. There are a lot of bad adults out there. Healthy skepticism about strangers is ok for kids (and helps them stay safe).

healthy skepticism toward adults they know is even more okay https://www.newswise.com/articles/in-child-sexual-abuse-strangers-aren-t-the-greatest-danger But even with strangers, there's a big difference between, "Come help me find my puppy" and "Stop doing that dangerous thing."

Nope. The kids went to find their -mom-. OP has said several times that there was a supervising adult.

Did he say older person, or adult? Because she could have just been older than the boys - maybe 12-14

Saying they are "done here" or else you will get a lifeguard to expel them is telling them to go, it's not merely giving them an option. Nor was it necessary--

It absolutely is giving them options. Choices. "Either you stop now or I will get a lifeguard" is two options.

Or you could have called it quits--you'd already been there two hours after all, that's what we call "we had a good run" in our house.

I disagree that the OP should have called it quits. If there should be a pool time limit for him, there should be a pool time limit for everyone.

There isn't. Each guest is 100% entitled to use their pool and pool facilities all day and into the night of they choose.

 

[Bryan Burmeister]

Did he say older person, or adult? Because she could have just been older than the boys - maybe 12-14

I never did say how old she was. If I had to guess, she was in her mid twenties. Spent approximately 100x more time on her phone than I would have done in that situation.

 

[MickeyWaffles]

Nevermind, OT

 

[MomOTwins]

I disagree that the OP should have called it quits. If there should be a pool time limit for him, there should be a pool time limit for everyone.

There isn't. Each guest is 100% entitled to use their pool and pool facilities all day and into the night of they choose.

On that, we agree. Each guest is 100% entitled to use the facilities, including those kids--which is what the lifeguard confirmed. OP seemed to think he was entitled to kick out kids who he thought were getting in his daughter's way. My point was that if OP was not content to share the pool with others, he had the ability to leave, among other options, the first of which should have been to ask a lifeguard. The problem is OP wasn't satisfied with what the lifeguard decided (i.e., that he was in the wrong) so came on here to seek validation for yelling at some kids when he got frustrated. I'm not going to give him that.

 

[P'colaBeachBum]

I think some in this thread missed the part where the boys were acting in a manner where someone could get hurt. What if no parent or lifeguard was there? I’ve seen unsupervised kids in hot tubs at the resorts. Just because it is Disney World doesn’t mean you let your children unsupervised where water is involved. We read horror stories in the paper where injury or death of a child could have been prevented.
As a side note, I believe every parent should know basic first aid, including CPR.

 

[focusondisney]

It absolutely is giving them options. Choices. "Either you stop now or I will get a lifeguard" is two options.

But as mnay of us have pointed out, the OP did not say “stop now or ....” he said ”your DONE HERE”. That to many of us equates to him telling them to leave. He had no right to do that no matter what.

At this point, I told the boys "either your done here, or I'm going to have to get the life guard".

 

[marikujawa]

On that, we agree. Each guest is 100% entitled to use the facilities, including those kids--which is what the lifeguard confirmed. OP seemed to think he was entitled to kick out kids who he thought were getting in his daughter's way. My point was that if OP was not content to share the pool with others, he had the ability to leave, among other options, the first of which should have been to ask a lifeguard. The problem is OP wasn't satisfied with what the lifeguard decided (i.e., that he was in the wrong) so came on here to seek validation for yelling at some kids when he got frustrated. I'm not going to give him that.

Well that version of events doesn't seem to be supported by anything reported here. Each guest, regardless of age, is entitled to use the facilities to the extent and in the manner provided by the facility owner. If the children were too big for the area and were acting in an unsafe manner as reported, the only thing they were entitled to was a reprimand and exclusion from the area. The only question is whether those actions should have been taken by a lifeguard or another parent.