Sitting with kids on the plane

[teine]

This sure is a mean board...I'm not implying that everyone is creepy. However, I do tell my children not to talk to strangers just in case so it's a difficult situation to have them sit by one alone on a plane and I do have to say that there certainly are a few out there. As for the panic attack, my oldest has exercise induced asthma which triggers when he is stressed. It's not something I can 'teach' him not to have...

I was glad to hear that Delta doesn't assign seats though...thanks for that piece of info. I can now rest easy on that front.

 

[crashbb]

You don't pay extra on Delta to choose your seats.

TAs for the panic attack, my oldest has exercise induced asthma which triggers when he is stressed. It's not something I can 'teach' him not to have...

I was glad to hear that Delta doesn't assign seats though...thanks for that piece of info. I can now rest easy on that front.

It isn't that Delta doesn't assign seats, it is that you don't pay extra for seat assignment. I am sure that many people on your flight have assigned seats (see my previous posts).

You cannot teach your child not to have asthma, but you can definitely teach your child that there is not need to get stressed if sitting alone - thus preventing the asthma trigger.

Of course, most people here wouldn't pay the fares that we pay on international flights, and thus cannot expect to receive the same level of service.

I argue that there is a difference between CANNOT and SHOULD NOT. Based on these boards, people definitely CAN expect the same level of service. The fact that is not sensible is, apparently, irrelevant.

 

[bavaria]

Delta most certainly does assign seats in advance.

As for the panic attack, my oldest has exercise induced asthma which triggers when he is stressed. It's not something I can 'teach' him not to have

I'm curious - when your child is an adult, would you want someone to assume that he is 'creepy' if he is flying alone? And if he has stress induced asthma, would you want someone to expect him to move?

 

[bavaria]

The 'perverts on a plane' argument is dragged into almost every seating thread on this website; usually by page 5 but often by page 3. I can recall one instance in my lifetime where I actually read about any such incident occuring on a plane, and it was brought up here as 'evidence' as to why everyone should put families first, even those who don't want to take responsibility and pay for what they need.

If people didn't display such a sense of entitlement or lack of regard for others I don't think that many of us would feel the need to defend the millions of people flying every day.

 

[bavaria]

FWIW here is how i handled it when mine sat alone at ages 3-5:

I know that you said that you were one of the runners up for 'DISboard Worst Parent of the Year Award 2009' but to me you sound like a GREAT parent - one who prepares their children to meet life with skills and to enjoy their adventures in life.

 

[teine]

At this point, what would be the best way to request seats with Delta? Call now? Or wait until the check in time? Any suggestions? The website did not give me options to choose seats.

Thanks.

 

[crashbb]

I've written this before for someone else, but it works well here as well. My "steps to take if you cannot book seats together".

1) Try calling the airline. Airlines hold back some seats and may be able to open up enough so that all children are beside one adult (not necessarily all 4 of you together).

2) Keep checking - people cancel flights/change seats. Take a pair if you can get it (or a triple). For people in the "single seats", choose ones that other people may want so that you have good seats to trade (i.e. aisle seats near the front of the plane).

3) Do online check in at the 24 hour mark. The seats that are held back are now opened up plus some people may have been upgraded. You have a good chance of moving to seats that are together.

4) Get to the airport early and ask the check-in agent if there are together seats that you can move to (again, people may have moved/upgraded/canceled).

5) When you get to the gate, talk to the gate agent. Changes are still happening and they may be able to help you.

6) If all else fails and you get on the plane and you have all single seats, nicely ask people if they would mind trading (but know that they have every right to reject the request). You have much better odds if you are offering your "better" seat. For example, if one seat is in row 5 and the other seat is in row 32, you'll do much better asking the person beside you in row 32 to move up to row 5 (and you and your child sit in row 32) than the opposite.

7) If you are still separated, you can choose to deplane and take a later flight. Before considering this, make sure you know if there are still together seats available on a subsequent flight (and that there IS a subsequent). Also, this will likely be at a cost to you.

I have NEVER seen anyone get to step 7 (not saying it doesn't happen, I've just never seen it) and rarely step 6 (generally only on holiday flights with lots of families none of whom want to sit split up or even go one adult/one child one place and another adult/child somewhere else).

Here, I took the time to find it for you. I suggest you read the thread if you need more suggestions/advice.

 

[bavaria]

Google search crashbb's list.

Calling now won't help - if there are no seats, there are no seats. The agent won't open up seats for families on most airlines.

You will need to check in at the 24 hour mark, arrive at the airport early, arrive at the gate early, ask nicely, prepare not to sit together, plan for one parent near one child, offer up drinks or other benefits to others, ask, don't demand, and definitely do not

loose my mind if they didn't each have a parent with them

At best that will alienate the crew and other passengers, at worst you would not be permitted to fly (which did happen to at least two parents here in 2009)

On flights to MCO there are a large number of families with children and you may not find anyone else willing to move to meet your needs. That's the reality on full flights these days, especially flights full of families.



Edited to add: crashbb has faster fingers.

re calling to get them to open seats - as an example, on the Airbus twins UA holds 6D/E for special needs passengers, NOT for families. LH does the same with various seats on various aircraft. LH will sometimes give me the special needs seat just before boarding if I ask nicely. UA opens up 6D/E to elites at the 24 hour mark.

UA may sometimes hold the very back row (non-recline, next to the lavs) for families; if you do call do expect to end up in something similar, IF the airline has such a policy and IF they still have empty space in those seats.

 

[clanmcculloch]

Here's my take on the situation:

3)If its an airline with no seat assignemtns (aka SW) you shoul dbe guaranteed a seat with your child ebcause NO ONE had the opportunity to choose seats early.

JMO

SW gives everybody the opportunity to pay for being at the front of the line with earlier boarding positions. For those who don't pay the Early Bird Check In fee ($10pp each direction) then everybody has the opportunity to check in 24 hours before their flight to ensure an earlier boarding position.

The rest is a bit of a rant and not directed at the person I quoted above.

Because one of my kids is autistic and my other one may be on the spectrum as well, I make sure that either I pay for EBCI or I'm online EXACTLY 24 hours ahead of my flight to get a good boarding position. My kids aren't toddlers and I'm sure many would look at me as rude for refusing to give up a seat by my kids. They have no obvious visible disability but they do have a disability none-the-less. I don't always feel a need to share my family's personal information with total strangers. That doesn't mean that I don't have a good reason for refusing to change seats. I'd be polite, but still say no. I go to great lengths to ensure that my kids won't sit alone. Why is it my responsibility to ensure that somebody else can sit with their child?

I've read too many stories of flights being changed on other airlines. I like how SW does their boarding. If my flight was changed after the checkin and I ended up with C boarding passes because of this change, I would likely talk to a gate agent about a blue special needs sleeve because I honestly can't predict when my kids may have an autistic meltdown but I believe it's my responsibility to do everything in my power to make sure I'm sitting with my kids. I repeat, it's MY responsibility.

I was on one flight where one of the very last people to board was a mom with a daughter who was maybe 13 or 14 years old. She was yelling at the FA that she HAD to be seated with her daughter because her daughter suffers from seizures. She continued yelling (yes she was yelling and seemed quite angry) that she had a doctor's letter and that they HAD to find them seats together. Uh, if her daughter's health is so precious then why didn't she check in at 24 hours before the flight (this was before EBCI)? Where was her personal responsibility?

 

[NHdisneylover]

This sure is a mean board...I'm not implying that everyone is creepy. However, I do tell my children not to talk to strangers just in case so it's a difficult situation to have them sit by one alone on a plane and I do have to say that there certainly are a few out there. As for the panic attack, my oldest has exercise induced asthma which triggers when he is stressed. It's not something I can 'teach' him not to have...

I was glad to hear that Delta doesn't assign seats though...thanks for that piece of info. I can now rest easy on that front.

I don't think anyone was mean in their responses to you. Your post came across as insinuating that any person next to your child on a plane would be creepy--which is kind of insulting and a few of us told you that we do not like being painted with such a brush, while also giving you tips and advice on how to handle your situation I agree that occasioanlly you will run into a creepy person on a plane--just like anywhere else. However it is very unlikely that lots of "creepy" people will be on a given flight. If you find that your instincts scream "stay away" from someone next to your child's assigned seat, simply sit your child in your assigned seat and you take the seat next to the creepy individual. No big deal.
As far as the not talking to strangers thing goes, my own persoanl feeling is that since it has been shown again and again that by far the most likely person to hurt a child is a known and trusted adult then the whole idea of stranger danger is wrong. I have worked hard to teach my children to know what is and is not appropriate behaviour from ANY adult and also to trust their instincts. I do not want to mess with their instincts by repeatedly instilling a fear of unkown people and a feeling of absolute security with known people in them. Actually, I feel often strangers can help a person (child or adult) and I want the kids being comfortable asking for or receviing needed help when appropriate.

You cannot teach your child not to have asthma, but you can definitely teach your child that there is not need to get stressed if sitting alone - thus preventing the asthma trigger.

Yep my son has asthma and stress is a major trigger for it (we had the joy of spending a good chunk of last weekend in the ER thanks to that asthma). What crashbb says is totally true.

I know that you said that you were one of the runners up for 'DISboard Worst Parent of the Year Award 2009' but to me you sound like a GREAT parent - one who prepares their children to meet life with skills and to enjoy their adventures in life.

Aww thanks Usually I am acused of not wanting to be near (or liking or loving) my kids or not caring about their safety when I allow and encourage them to be independent. Neither could be further from the truth.

Clanmcculloch--I think you sound like a great proactive travellign parent!

 

[bavaria]

I don't always feel a need to share my family's personal information with total strangers. That doesn't mean that I don't have a good reason for refusing to change seats. I'd be polite, but still say no. I go to great lengths to ensure that my kids won't sit alone. Why is it my responsibility to ensure that somebody else can sit with their child?

You too get a chocolate!

 

[Heidijs]

That's why I didn't fly airtrans...for the same price we got tickets on Northwest and got to pick our seats well in advance for both flights, we're all sitting together...how on earth can they make a 4 year old sit alone? It will be my DD4's first time on a plane. I can't imagine anyone wanting to hear her scream bloody murder cus mom and dad are ten rows back!!!! Unreal....you'd think when you're booking with a toddler, they'd automatically put you next to each other...

 

[bavaria]

Did you give the airline the age when booking online? I have never had to do that until filling in SecureFlight or similar information. Youth fares tend to be higher than the deeply discounted tickets many here seem to buy, so the airline doesn't KNOW the age of the individual.

And things are automated - there is no human checking each booking. Not every party travelling together wants or needs to sit side by side, so the system doesn't assume that.

Ultimately, people have the responsiblity to choose the carrier that best meets their needs, and to do what it takes to have their needs met, even if that means paying more for a particular seat, particular airline, or particular flight.

I very very rarely fly LCC's in large part due to the fact that they do not meet my needs.

 

[NHdisneylover]

That's why I didn't fly airtrans...for the same price we got tickets on Northwest and got to pick our seats well in advance for both flights, we're all sitting together...how on earth can they make a 4 year old sit alone? It will be my DD4's first time on a plane. I can't imagine anyone wanting to hear her scream bloody murder cus mom and dad are ten rows back!!!! Unreal....you'd think when you're booking with a toddler, they'd automatically put you next to each other...

I am glad you took steps to insure you could sit with your child on a flight that works for you rather than expecting the rules to be changed for you That is exactly what I advocate all parents doing.
4 years old is not normally considered a "toddler" though. I taught preschool for many years and toddler generally refers to walkers through either age 2 or 3 depending on the region. I have actually never heard it applied to a four year old before. Regardless, why do you feel she would be screaming "bloody murder" if you were a few rows away from her? If you react as if this is normal, I cannot see why this would upset a nuero typical 4 year old to that degree. You are still closer to her than you are in many situations.

 

[Hannathy]

I am glad you took steps to insure you could sit with your child on a flight that works for you rather than expecting the rules to be changed for you That is exactly what I advocate all parents doing.
4 years old is not normally considered a "toddler" though. I taught preschool for many years and toddler generally refers to walkers through either age 2 or 3 depending on the region. I have actually never heard it applied to a four year old before. Regardless, why do you feel she would be screaming "bloody murder" if you were a few rows away from her? If you react as if this is normal, I cannot see why this would upset a nuero typical 4 year old to that degree. You are still closer to her than you are in many situations.

I agree. I never think of anything over 2 as being a toddler. I also don't know why they would scream, you are all on the same plane after all. As I keep saying kids only know how to react to a situation based on how they have been conditioned. If they are taught traveling is a big adventure full of the unknown and fun they will go into it with an open mind and heart, they'll go with the flow.

Please don't teach your children that everything and everyone unknown is bad. They really will miss out on a lot of interesting places and people.
Our rule with our kids has always been:
Talk to anyone you want to -GO nowhere with anyone you don't know!!!


My kids have sat alone numerous times (have flown alone also) both by design and out of necessity!

 

[Heidijs]

Okay you're right, she's not toddler age per say, but I can harldy imagine what she'd do if we got on a plane, she's never flown, and I say, you sit here and I'll be way the heck back here! She'd freak...she just turned 4 in October...I can hardly see her thinking this is "okay" and she's not a stranger friendly 4 year old either. She'd probably get very upset if I just sat her down and tried to tell her I have to sit somewhere else...I want to be right by her in case she gets frightened or has a problem...needs to use the bathroom, ears start to hurt...or she feels sick...like I need to worry about that 10 rows back...no way...

 

[Ava]

I know that you said that you were one of the runners up for 'DISboard Worst Parent of the Year Award 2009' but to me you sound like a GREAT parent - one who prepares their children to meet life with skills and to enjoy their adventures in life.

Ditto this. My partner started flying alone - completely alone, as an unaccompanied minor - when she was 6. (This was in the early '80s.)

 

[bavaria]

So did crashbb and several others here - and look at how we turned out!

 

[Heidijs]

I'm not saying it's BAD to make a 4 year old to sit apart from you...but on a first flight? Every child is different, I just know she'd be nervous...I just know my DD4 and she probably would get scared sitting around total strangers on a plane...that's all. If she was a year or two older? No big deal...we fly DH's daughters by themselves and they are 8 and 11 when they come visit for the summer...if DD was a little older and used to flying, it wouldn't be a big deal to me either but I've never flown an airline that said we can't sit together...the only time that happened was our flight to Vegas...we ended up sitting behind one another but it was just me and DH, no biggie...but I didn't get on line 90 days in advance and book them on time to pick better seating...I made sure with NWA that I jumped on at the 90 window or 60 or whatever it is to pick seating...even on the 60 day mark, we only had a few rows available for all 3 of us to sit together...so I guess everyone is thinking the same way!

 

[mom2val]

I also don't know why they would scream, you are all on the same plane after all.

Depends 100% on kid. DD was in tears this last trip to WDW bc she had to sit on the bus next to a stranger from resort to Mk while I stood a few feet away. I had her sit because it was safer than her standing. She is 9. I ALWAYS pay the $$ for our seats to be together on a plane.