Son's absence "strongly discouraged"

[rae519]

Amazing how school policy can be so rigid and insensitive. When we were in the car accident that killed our daughter, Kayla - Chris was almost 14 years old. It hit him very hard, which anyone with a bit of common sense would acknowledge.
During the school year, he had days when he couldn't hold his composure and other days when he had therapy. This was a very devistating time for him and both my husband and I went round and round with the school about his absences.

Here I was concerned about my child's mental health and the school was worried about the money from the state that they'd lose if he were absent!

This was the decision that prompted our homeschooling him. It took 3 years for him to do Grade 9-12 work, he did very well on the SAT and ACT. He took the GED and went right into college, where he is now at IUPUI (graduate studies) and is on the Dean's List.

Back on subject, ultimately it is the parent who must make the decisions and accept the responsibility for the consequences.

With that I just want to say that our youngest son's school is excellent with outstanding teachers and a principal that is definitely a people person!

Okay, I'm off my soapbox!!

; )

Rae

 

[cathy59]

I do think that schools can sometimes be more concerned about their funding than for the kids. That's sad.

We are taking my son out of kindergarten for the week, and his teacher has been very nice about it. I offered to have him make a journal entry every day (like they do on schoold days) and she said that is what she usually suggests. I'm sure we can throw in some cruise math along the way, too.

Our school is really bonkers about attendance this year, because they missed getting some great "5 star" rating last year only because of attendance levels. So I have been diligent about making sure his vacation days are the only ones he misses. Luckily the only time he was sick this year was over Christmas break!

rae519 - sorry for your pain. I lost a brother in an accident many years ago and can only imagine how much worse it would be to lose a child. Another reason to fill life with living!

 

[DadofTigger]

As I have not been posting in quite sometime I have lost my old posts but I have only jumped up and down on my soapbox once before on this board (over a much less important issue regarding free soda on the ships). I know the school absence issue has been discussed many times on these boards and will continue to be well into the future. I am the son of a retired public school teacher, I am extermely active in our kids public school (my wife and I have raised over $50K for the school since they started 1st grade) and we have had the principal over to our home for dinner and consider her a friend, I am also an elected offical in our community.

With all that said, I am wondering when we as citizens and parents decided to let elected officals (School Boards and others) dictate how we raise our children. It was not like this 100 years ago when families needed children to help in the fields or to run a family business or 50 years ago or even 20 years ago when I attended school.

People say the need to better educate our children is greater now then it ever has been in the past. That is true, but most of that burden falls on parents not teachers. If parents are motivated to educate our children they will learn, they will attend school on a regular basis. If parents are indifferent the children will be indifferent. Regardless of the rules these elected officals impose upon our children and us through them, without parent support of the children they will not be any better educated today then they were 50 years ago. Will someone try to convince me that a child that misses a week of school every year to travel to places talked about but never seen is less educated then a child that sits in a classroom and talks about those places. Many schools plan one week trips to Washington DC, there students will miss a week, why is that less damaging, because they are accompanied by a teacher, I think not.

In history books many areas of Florida and the islands are mentioned. When the children are older they may read books that discuss these areas and report back on them. Will they not be better students then. Regardless of any lost or gained knowledge, is not a well adjusted child that has a strong family base a better student. Does not spending a week together as a family make a stronger family.

The issue of elected officals dictating how we raise our children is a very hot topic to me because no one knows what is best for my children better then I, because no one knows my children better then I. There should be rules to protect society's children from abuse but we must tell elected officals where the line is between protecting our children and raising our children.

Now that I sound like a raving radical I must go back to my accounting work so I can make my committee meeting tonight. These are my thoughts and I hope it will make others think, you need not agree with me but I hope we all can continue to think for ourselves and not let others think for us........

 

[marycaym]

Just thought I would add my two cents here. My daughter is only in Kindergarten. She attends catholic school - missing class for anything other than illness is the first item covered in our handbook. She missed two days in October for a wedding we went to in Texas and she will be missing a week when we go on our cruise 1/25. I sent my note this past monday (we booked last minute) and by 10am that day I had a call from the school. I indicated to them that I would never pull her out if she wasn't doing well but they better get over this because she will always be out a week for the next 8 years as we always take a winter vacation with my mother who we don't spend christmas with.

I can understand that they don't want kids skipping school however, quality time spent with your child is very important these days, especially if you work. And I feel that I know my child well enough that if I think it would hurt her grades I wouldn't do it.

Overall I would say that the school is not too thrilled with me but too bad, life is short! So I so go ahead and fight the battle with the school - it will be well worth it in the end!

Mary Cay

 

[GoBlueGuy]

(and worth every penny!)
Seems like folks want it both ways. Let's sue the school system because Johnny can't read. Let's sue the schools because Johnny can't get into the "Right" college, etc.

NOT trying to start a flame war, but I think too many parents these days EXPECT the school system to unilateraly educate their kids. I think they are all too ready to willingly hand over this responsibility, because (in the words of a wise man), "that's one less thing..."

That being said, I'm taking primary (I'd like to think of the teachers and parents as a team) responsibility for educating my children. The teachers have a say, and I'll respect their opinion as I would any other professional's opinion (Doctor, Lawyer, etc.), but I'LL make the final choice, and me and my children will live with the consequences.

I DO NOT expect the school system to educate my child, I expect them to facilitate MY education of MY child!

It is a lot of work, but it's the most important job I have!

GBG

 

[rae519]

cathy 59 - I am also sorry for your loss. I never had siblings, so I don't know what it would be like to lose one. Seeing Chris's pain, I guess I am thankful for that. As an adult, we can brace ourselves as much as we can against harm, but accidents do happen - and children/teens have a harder time due to their immaturity and lack of experience in loss.

Yes, it makes a person want to live life to the fullest and "never sweat the small stuff"!

DadofTigger -
Excellent words and very well presented. Our school board needs to have a well rounded representation and that will only happen when we take control and accept responsibility of parenting.
My one and only incident with the School Board was during the time after Kayla's death and Chris was having a hard time concentrating. I also should note that the 16 year old who rearended our car causing the accident lived two doors down from us and went to the same school as Chris. The school board failed to understand, both as educators and parents, what was so plain and redundant to express - grief over sibling loss.

I am active with the PTO, now more than ever and see how many people use the School Board to their advantage. I am so very sorry that there are so many students who will never have the experiences that my son is given. BUT I was once one of those poor kids who never went anywhere except school sponsored trips.

Take care and thanks!
Rae

 

[rae519]

GoBlue Guy -

Exactly! We are the primary educators of our children and should never forget that. I respect and admire the teachers (with very few exceptions) and I always listen to their advise regarding my son. The final decision is ours as parents, you are so very correct.
And we are fortunate in Indiana, that the homeschooling laws are so flexible that we can choose our own path - the one that will give our children their best opportunity to learn, advance and live.

Fort Wayne is a beautiful area - just about an hour north east from me (now that 24 is a four lane!!)

Rae

 

[GoBlueGuy]

We're origionaly from Michigan. Things are a"little" slower here than we're used too. BUT, our school district is the primary reason for us being down here. We had problems up in MI.

Funny you mentioned homeschooling... We almost went that route in MI, and DW keeps threatening down here.

But I think she finally decide to go back for her Masters and/or PhD, so she'll have enough school for herself!

GBG

 

[SC Minnie]

We took DD out for 4 days last year(2nd grade). I sent a note to her teacher a few weeks in advance and explained why she would miss school. Our school policy is 5 unexcused days per semester and the child can be held back. Her teacher was very good about it. She gave her a few assignments that related to the caribbean which were completed by the time we got back. These were the only days she missed the whole year.

This year DD missed a couple of days for our Oct cruise. I also sent a note ahead of time and her teacher said there would be no need to make up work because one of the days she was missing they were going on a field trip. The teacher let DD go another day with one of the other 3rd grade classes. The only assignment she gave was to bring back a postcard! She started collecting postcards from her students trips a few years early.

If DD was having trouble in school I would NOT even consider taking her out. But as it is she is a good student and family time is important. We usually try to schedule trips during a weeks when they are already going to be out at least a day. That makes me feel better anyway

 

[Janet2k]

My son is a teenager, and over the past few years, we have pulled him out of school for a few family vacations (never more than one in any given school year). We never received any problems from his school, only homework assignments that were given out in advance of our trips.

Late in 2001, I planned a Halloween 2002 family vacation (it's our favorite time of year to vacation at WDW). Last summer my son informed me that he did not want to miss any school and thus did not want to vacation in October. My son is a very good student so I wasn't sure why he would choose to turn down a WDW vacation, especially since he loves WDW, but turn it down he did. For months I tried to get him to change his mind with "But, son, I already have the 999 Happy Haunts Ball booked for you, and two Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Parties. And don't forget our Fort Wilderness Carriage Ride and the Hoop-Dee-Doo Musical Revue. And isn’t your Annual Pass to DisneyQuest still valid?" And so on. My son held tight to his decision, so in late summer, I turned my upcoming family vacation for four into a Mother/Daughter one for two (I asked my husband to stay home with our son). I went on the October vacation with my young daughter and we had a magical time. However, I really did miss my son (and my husband). I'm in the process now of trying to plan a family vacation at WDW that will fit into my son's school schedule (I'm looking into a Disney cruise, possibly in the summer).

They grow up so quickly. *Sigh*

 

[SINK]

Public Schools discourage student absence for purely financial reasons. Schools will be funded with either student attendance or absence due to sickness. Any other excused absence, school will not be funded by the State.

 

[jlawall]

I am a teacher who loves to travel. I agree that any travel experience is a learning experience! My pet peeve is parents who request work a week or two prior to travel expecting teachers to give the missing work up front. Many times learning builds on learning and the upcoming work is not available yet. I think it would be better to make a teacher aware of the missing days, let them know your child is willing to complete work up front or after the trip in a timely manner. I don't know any teachers at my school who would have a problem with this request!