The best thing to do is to pick a theme for your dinner and plan around it. One year, we did Mexican. Then we did Italian. And we had a Frogmoor Stew night. Then we plan the menu, drinks and theming things around it. (Music, decorations, etc.)
Since it's NY eve, you could do an appetizer-type night. Surely your friend's DH could find something to eat. I'd tell that DH to fend for himself. You shouldn't have to plan a menu around him.
If Ken and I go away with another family, we have to both be in agreement that we like the husband, the wife and the kids or else it just won't work.