jbehr12
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Aug 18, 2018
I don't want to sound negative, but it may just be time to admit that it is over. That stuff does happen. It happened to me after 29 years. I saw it coming but kept mentally denying it. I'd ask about counseling and if the answer is no, then ask if he wants a divorce. It may end up that way anyway. I wish I had read the handwriting sooner and still would have been young enough to actually cultivate another relationship. I know that both of us were a whole lot happier after we divorced, at least I was, I cannot speak for her, but she really wanted nothing to do with me so I can assume she was too and I was OK with that. Just so you know, I did nothing warranting divorce nor did she, other then leaving. No cheating, no heavy arguments ever. Just unhappiness and being tired of being married. Familiarity breeds contempt, I guess.
Okay... so I think that there are potential red flags but advice like the post above is in fact jumping to conclusions based on their own experiences, and everyone’s experience with this type of thing is going to come from and result in something different.
Get counseling if you actually think it’ll help, not because a bunch of randoms on a Disney board are telling you you should. If you think it’ll just lead to another fight why would you pick that strategy?
While there are red flags, like a PP said talk to his friends to get some insight and a different perspective into what’s going on with him and use a strategy that might actually work for your situation - not someone else’s. I’ve seen too many people base decisions on other people’s experiences and it’s never an efficient way to go about solving a marital problem, in most cases it just makes it worse.
Do what is right for you and your husband, not for the other people on this board. But yes, you should never be “banned” from anything in a marriage. Definite red flag - now find out where it originated.