Where do you draw the line between living now and saving for a future that may never happen?

[Meriweather]

I wouldn't spend that much for Wyo....but then my father was from there so been there many times.
However, if you can afford it, and it is something you want to do, go for it.

We have started traveling a lot. Retired.
My mother died at 59 and father at 62. I am 63.....not sure what to expect. So we are spending.
We have a good financial advisory and have enough for quite awhile.
We take 4-5 vacations a year. Disney all the time. Cruises are big for us and road trips while we still can.
We have only spent that much on a cruise to Norway, Iceland, etc. And it was for 3 1/2 weeks.

But again, if you want to and can afford to, do it. You don't want to regret it later if you don't.

 

[robinb]

I've had too many relatives including my own parents who have saved for travel in retirement but are unable to travel due to health reasons.

My DH's family traveled a lot in retitrement. My mom would have liked to travel more, but it was hard on $1,800 a month in social security and va benefits because she had no other retirement income.

I have vacationed a lot. We have never spent close to $12,000 on a single vaycay. The closest was when we bought DVC which we are still using nearly 20 years later. OP, if you're even second guessing 'splurging' $12k for a second don't do it! Save your money for your own retirement or for your children's education. If you are ready for a real wake up call, open up one of the 'parents of 'insert Year here' threads' and see how parents are struggling to pay for college.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Of course there are those who save for retirement only to drop dead before realizing their dreams. Then, I look at my parents 20 years into their retirement and still in excellent health. And I think how different their retirement would be if they hadn't been so frugal while working. You never know.

 

[runwad]

Hey guys this is but this thread made me think of a poster who would post to a thread like this; that I haven't seen in a long time, Eliza? Remember her? Her DH died young and she would always comment about doing things now and not waiting for tomorrow? Was just thinking I hadn't seen her around in a long time. Ok sorry to go off topic, back to your regularly scheduled thread.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Hey guys this is but this thread made me think of a poster who would post to a thread like this; that I haven't seen in a long time, Eliza? Remember her? Her DH died young and she would always comment about doing things now and not waiting for tomorrow? Was just thinking I hadn't seen her around in a long time. Ok sorry to go off topic, back to your regularly scheduled thread.

One of my favorites - miss her around here

 

[runwad]

One of my favorites - miss her around here

Me too! and dvcgirl, she was smart! I learned a lot of financial stuff from her. Those were the days.

 

[North of Mouse]

We have always taken family vacations according to our financial ability at the time, but would never spend that kind of money on one domestic vacation. $12,000 would get us at least 4 super nice vacations. We aren't extravagant people but we do know how to relax and enjoy our vacations.

Dh & I have been empty nesters for several years now, and take quite a few trips each year.

None of us know our life spans, so would never try to 'calculate' our enjoyment of life's trips by how long we think our money and our lives will last.

 

[Planogirl]

Why not split the difference and create a lower priced package? I wouldn't even suggest this except you sound a bit concerned. It's up to you and no one else.

It's not only about getting older. As another Diser mentioned, you can have something happen that changes your life at any time. Live NOW (within reason) and don't wait.

 

[QueenIsabella]

I did a little poking around on the ABD site, just for yucks. I looked at both the Wyoming trip (looks lovely, BTW!), and trips to Italy. As I mentioned previously, I'm going to Italy this summer, 3 of us, and I just paid it off, so it's painfully fresh in my mind. Our trip is 12 days, the ABD trip is 8...and costs twice as much. Obviously, it can't be a direct apples-to-apples comparison, but both trips include roughly half your meals, nice hotels, and lots of special tours (Vatican tours, gondola rides, wine tasting in Tuscany, etc.) Now, it's very possible that ABD puts you in nicer hotels (although the hotels we're staying in look lovely in their photos). It's also possible that the guides are more knowledgeable, the transportation is fancier, and so forth. But still--2/3 the trip for twice the price? In addition, the ABD tour looked very much one with a different hotel every night--our trip will have 2 nights per hotel most times.

So, I would have a tough time justifying the ABD cost, just based on the little I saw. And I'm sure you could do Italy much cheaper than we are, we had reasons for opting for a tour. But then again, the two main reasons was unfamiliarity and language concerns, and those are much less of an issue with travelling within the US.

I think it can be very easy to look at people who died young, and use it as an excuse for spending, but the flip side is also true--it's just less heart-breaking. My FIL died a month before his retirement date at 58--truly a sad and unexpected turn of events. But, his widow turns 86 next month, so good thing DFIL planned well and left her comfortable. Meanwhile, my BFF's father is 91 and still chugging along, as is her mother (85). You just don't know.

 

[DisneyOma]

The Wyoming ABD starts at $4K per adult for a week, with lodging/meals included. Sounds like the OP is a party of 3? A week all inclusive for $4K is a bit high, but there are multiple activities/transport involved.

 

[Hikergirl]

My dh recently had a health scare and that changed the way we look at things. We will always make sure to save for retirement, but we are doing a little more living for today.

 

[MooseBucks]

The problem is you don't post your whole financial picture. Are you prepared for medical bills when you're older if you run into a long term medical issue? If something were to happen sooner are your kids going to be ok?

 

[Christine]

It's really hard to know what to do. I come from a family of people living into their 90s. I've watched my parents save a lot on forego things due to cost so that they can save for retirement. They are in retirement now, very healthy, and will probably go on that way for another 15 years. So, I can see where it's important to have savings. My coworker's MIL is now coming to live with them at age 72 because they literally blew everything they had, lived well, and now have nothing.

There must be some happy medium but if you don't save enough and you make it well into your 80s, you're going to need a lot of money.

 

[ronandannette]

Due to a very unforeseen season in our life awhile back, it's just not feasible that either DH or I will ever be able to retire as long as we are still healthy enough to work. He's already 62 and I'm in my late 40's. Our incomes are (relatively) high with a reasonable amount of disposable income that even if we saved every penny, would still not facilitate a much earlier retirement. So we balance saving with enjoying an active life now and have a vision of a modest lifestyle centred around family, church and community when we are very elderly.

FWIW, many of our younger'ish retired friends (mid-to-late 60's) feel like they might have "pulled the trigger" too early and are extremely conservative with their spending so as not to deplete savings. They are nervous about their futures and don't feel free to travel, entertain and donate lavishly the way they always dreamed they would in retirement.

 

[crjack]

OP I have lived both sides of the situation so I am also voting for finding a balance between both vacationing and saving. I lost my mom when she was only in her 50's and I was in my 20's. It was a shock for my whole family. For years now though we have also been caring for my dad who has vascular dementia and I am watching him go through 40+ years of savings because we need aides to help us. (We all still cover shifts every week).

He never in a million years expected to be in his 80's and needing help with bathing, dressing, etc. It's sad but also expensive and none of it is covered my Medicare so I have learned quickly that financially retirement with cognitive impairment is very different than one without it.

In the midst of that DH and I have two children in college and even though we saved it is another staggering expense.

We never vacationed when I was growing up and DH and I were both committed to going on them with our children but helping them get through school with limited debt was also important to us.

We have taken great trips and have wonderful memories. With the help of this board and other sites I have managed to get some great deals, rent some gorgeous time shares for a week and find ways to strike a reasonable balance without feeling like we compromised on anything.

Genetics is only part of the equation with our health and lifestyle and healthy habits also count for a lot so better not to make any assumptions.

Best of luck and I hope you and your family find that perfect balance for you.

 

[kdonnel]

I have saved 20% of what I make since I got my first real job out of college. I also started saving for college for both kids when my second was born and if they go to a Georgia college between what I have saved and what the HOPE scholarship pays, we should be good there.

We have taken some expensive trips in the past(Europe(family trip) for 19 days last year, Europe(school trip) for 15 days this year) so this one for $12000 is not out of the normal, but to really make the $12000 seem more insane, we are actually looking at the 4 night Wyoming in winter trip. There is no pricing there yet but I am guessing around $3000, maybe $3500 a person, plus airfare so it will really be more than $12000. We should probably research how to do much of the same trip on our own.

I can afford it, I just wonder if it is worth it? Like others have said, $12000 is 3 or 4 vacations now or it is $25,000 in 25 years assuming 3% growth.

I need a crystal ball.

 

[ThistleMae]

So many different things to consider. I've enjoyed reading all these posts, and they are very helpful for making life choices. I retired two years ago, age 60. I am living on a modest pension but before retiring we made a separate apartment in my house for my sister, so we can share expenses. This was the way I supplement my retirement. Also, I'm waiting to collect my SS benefits. So there are other ways to plan to live on a more modest income. I do two big vacations a year, with many four day and long weekends in between. I've had some issues with my knees but not enough to stop me from enjoying vacations. That being said, I do have to adjust how much walking I'm able to do. But, I figure it out. Last two Disney trips I had to use an EVC. It saved my vacation. Bottom line, do some balanced planning and live your life without fear, knowing that in a single crisis, all the planning you do could go out the window.

 

[tzolkin]

I think financial advisors are a rip.

Says the person who spends every penny as soon as they make it

 

[DaisyJ]

Says the person who spends every penny as soon as they make it

LOL I was thinking the same thing.

 

[luvavacation]

I am glad I am not the only one struggling with questions like this!

Genetically, I take after my Father's Mother's side. No one lived past 75. Most died before 72. My Father lived to 75. His last couple years were not well-lived, but while he lived, vacations and seeing the world were something he loved, and unfortunately for my husband, I inherited the love of travel.

My Brother died in his sleep at 42.

My sister died at 52.

My Mother just passed from Alzheimer's. Her last 8 years were not well-lived.

My Father-in-Law died a month after retiring, while planning his retirement vacations. He never went on any vacations because he was working to put money away for retirement.

So, where to draw the line? My husband will probably outlive me. He takes after his mother's long-lived side. While our children already know we have no shame in moving in with them when we are old (I just hope they don't live where there is snow!), we also don't want to be a burden. I know it hurt my mother, while she was still aware, that she was declining and I was the one that cared for her when she could no longer care on her own. No parent wishes to be a burden. So we will need some money for when we are old and failing. But how much?

Last week, I told my husband I probably have 20 good years left, and yet my vacation destination list is more than 20 places long! Plus, we moved to Florida one year ago, and there are so many places to see just here in the state that are separate from my list of 20 world destinations! What to do?

In my mind, I have a set number to keep in our retirement accounts, and the rest I am willing to spend. My husband doesn't see things as I do. So, we compromised. We will keep working for a couple more years, and when he hits 55, we will start our vacation list. Or rather, start my vacation list!

In the meantime, we will still go places, but I have to keep my desire to travel with abandon in check. However, I will be taking my Mother's ashes back to our home country next summer, and I am going first class on the plane. I did the same when I took my Brother's and Father's ashes back. Since I hate flying, and it is a hard enough task on the heart as it is to say the final goodbye, I justified first class. Others may not see it that way, but for me, after all the years of frugal living and saving, I spent the money and I don't regret it. Also, I accumulated many credit card points for future travels, so that was great! This is how my mind works.

I wish I knew what the right choice was. I want to live for today, while I can still get around and have my mind, but I know that tomorrow is also a concern. I don't want to know exactly how many tomorrows I have in front of me, but it sure would be easier to plan if I had an idea!