Would you feel guilty?

[okeydokey]

Are there really people that will only eat If someone else gives them food? I can't imagine being that dependent on other people.

 

[aristocatz]

I have been ill for a little over a week. DH and DD have been in charge of the house. Last night DH did not fix his lunch for work. He is now grumpy and ill from not eating. Would you feel guilty? He was expecting a short day today, but has been gone over 10 hours.

I would probably feel bad for him, but certainly not guilty.

 

[3 MEN AND A BOAT]

Are there really people that will only eat If someone else gives them food? I can't imagine being that dependent on other people.

I say don't feed them. The problem will eventually work itself out one way or another.

 

[ElsieAstronaut]

Nope. I'd certainly feel badly for him, but not guilt or in any way responsible for the situation. It sucks he's stuck hungry at work longer than he thought would be. When I'm scheduled for a short shift I don't bring a meal, so if my hours got extended I'd have to buy something or be hungry, but I doubt DB would feel guilty.

 

[BadgerGirl84]

I'm confused. He leaves the house and goes to work without any way of buying something?

Does he only have one debit or credit card in his wallet that he left at home?

 

[Southernmiss]

My kids have been making lunches since early kindergarten. They're teens now. I rarely give them money to eat out. They take care of themselves. If they can do it, your dh can.

 

[dollarmite]

The husband needs to grow up.

 

[goofyernmost]

Should you feel guilty about this... let me think! I got it.

NO!

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

It is his own fault. He can fix his own lunch or do without.

 

[smiths02]

I've felt bad for my DH when things have prevented him from eating, but not guilty.

I used to make my DH lunch, before we had kids and then while I stayed at home with our first son. I stopped when I went back to school/work full-time.

We do make sure we have $20-30 in our wallets all the time though

 

[SC Minnie]

That's the reason you keep a pack of crackers or a granola bar in your desk.

No I wouldn't feel guilty. He's a grown man.

 

[js]

I have been ill for a little over a week. DH and DD have been in charge of the house. Last night DH did not fix his lunch for work. He is now grumpy and ill from not eating. Would you feel guilty? He was expecting a short day today, but has been gone over 10 hours.

Sorry, I didnt read all responses and Ive been married for 26 years and I am not sure what you are asking. Should you feel guilty about what?

 

[js]

Are there really people that will only eat If someone else gives them food? I can't imagine being that dependent on other people.

My family would say yes to your question lol. Im a horrible cook, hate it and my grown kids would probably rather go hungry than eat my food (although they can cook and when my dd was away in college she became a pretty good cook). My dh is retired and now works a new job and still comes home and cooks each night. He also does the foodshopping.

OP I have read the responses and ih my no way would I feel guilty my dh didnt eat. I would feel badly for him but not guilty ESPECIALLY if I was sick.

 

[NMAmy]

Maybe it's a generational thing? I know my grandpa never made himself a meal his entire life. Grandma did it all.
How did your hubby not have any money on him? Did he have an ATM card so he could get cash from the bank and then go to a drive thru if he was busy?

Nope, I don't think so. My parents were born during the Depression and my dad was an amazing cook who did about 3/4 of the cooking in our house. My uncles (on both sides of the family) were the same way. My grandfather (born around 1910) was perfectly capable of making lunch for himself (and his grandkids) and did it upon occasion.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I have been ill for a little over a week. DH and DD have been in charge of the house. Last night DH did not fix his lunch for work. He is now grumpy and ill from not eating. Would you feel guilty? He was expecting a short day today, but has been gone over 10 hours.

Hell no. In fact, I might not make his lunch ever if he gives me attitude. I would tell him to grow the bleep up.

I would also say more, but I will spare you, lol. Oh wait...just one as there are so many ways to go about this. How about softening it to this.....

You could say, I have not prepared you enough to help run the family if I am incapacitated. As soon as I am well, I am going to show you how to make your lunch and then you can do it from then on so you are never ill or grumpy from missing your lunch.

 

[jen0610]

It always boggles our minds when people state that they never carry cash. Lord help them when the day comes that they are trying to pay for things and the card readers are down or the card just isn't readable. Having cash on you or a checkbook, is the most basic and simple solution. If DH doesn't have his card on him or have cash on hand, it's HIS issue not mine.

 

[pryncess527]

I guess it is just me...DD and I are here where there is food. He has not tried to put a guilt trip on me at all.

I've felt badly for my DH in situations like this, but "guilt" is not the word I'd use. I think I get where you are coming from though. DH and I are a team and we take care of each other in many ways. When I'm not feeling well and not able to do the things I normally do for our team, I hate the way it impacts DH. But we both know it's unavoidable sometimes. I know that when DH is down and out that I don't mind picking up the slack for our team. Logically, I know DH also does not mind picking up the slack when needed. But that doesn't mean I like it. Guilt just isn't word I'd use.

One of the best things I heard said about marriage was from the priest at a cousins wedding. He said, people say marriage is 50/50, but in reality sometimes the split has to be 70/30; or 30/70 when one member of the team can't help as much. Right now you are sick, and he has to give a bit more -- that's part of being a good team.

 

[rigs32]

No change in the car to grab a candy bar? He could bum $10 from a coworker to be paid back?

 

[cluvsdisney]

I get feeling bad that he didn't eat but not at all guilty as if it were somehow my fault.

I hope you're feeling better soon.

 

[Klayfish]

I haven't had time to read through the entire thread, but who would come on here and say "Yes, you should feel guilty. It's your job to make your adult husband his lunch and if he goes hungry it's your fault!". It's 2016, not 1816. I'm a grown man, I can make my own lunch...I may get mustard on my shirt, but I can do laundry too.

And I will say I'm one of those who never carries cash. If I have $5 in my wallet, it's unusual. Been doing that for at least 20 years and never run into an issue.