How old is too old for DD's to go with DH in the men's room?

[Mkrop]

Not comparable. A woman and her daughter belong in a female restroom. A son belongs in a male restroom. They are seperated by gender for a reason. A valid reason is not "just becasue it makes me feel better". Which is what it is about, after the child is old enough to go to school by themselves. There is not a need for it, calming a parent's paranoia is not a need.

At some point mom and dad need to cut the strings, and let their child do things that may feel a bit uncomfortable at first. After a while, the parent then becomes comfortable with the freedom they have given. It is called letting your child grow up, and mature, and helping them be ready to deal with life without having to have someone hold their hand all of the time.

Ok and by whose timeframe should I use...I guess you think I should use yours since you know best

ETA I will use the example of driving in a car with friends, some might think it is ok to go off with anyone who has a license, and others may want to wait until the driver has some more experince...which parent is right, neither is right or wrong, they are doing what they perceive is the SAFEST decision for their child.

 

[luvmy3]

Not comparable. A woman and her daughter belong in a female restroom. A son belongs in a male restroom.

Of course its comparable. We are talking about children accompanying their parents, not grown men or women. If sons belong in the male restroom, them NO male child of any age belongs in the women's restroom, and this issue would be a non issue. However as it stands, there is no law or rule preventing a male child of the age of 7 accompanying his mother into the women's restroom, at least at WDW. The only reason people are claiming it is wrong, or right is based on their own feeling about the issue. You can't claim your family's comfort is more valid than another in this situation.
Maybe a 7 year old can manage in the bathroom, but petrified to sit alone on a bench. Who are any of you to decide that the 7 year old doesn't need to be with his mother?

 

[princessmom29]

Of course its comparable. We are talking about children accompanying their parents, not grown men or women. If sons belong in the male restroom, them NO male child of any age belongs in the women's restroom, and this issue would be a non issue. However as it stands, there is no law or rule preventing a male child of the age of 7 accompanying his mother into the women's restroom, at least at WDW. The only reason people are claiming it is wrong, or right is based on their own feeling about the issue. You can't claim your family's comfort is more valid than another in this situation.
Maybe a 7 year old can manage in the bathroom, but petrified to sit alone on a bench. Who are any of you to decide that the 7 year old doesn't need to be with his mother?

Sorry, but the women's restroom is meant for females of all ages and the mens room is meant for males of all ages. The only exception should be infants toddlers, and young preschoolers who simply cannot toilet on thier own, but really those individuals SHOULD be using family restrooms. That is the purpose of providing them, so that no one has to go into the wrong restroom. It is not my personal feelings, but the feelings of everyone in the restroom that should be respected. ALL females expect they there will only be females or very young children in the WOMEN'S restroom. There is an expectation of privacy there to conduct what is a very personal task, and attend to female needs. One person's desire to keep thier son with them should not trump the right to privacy of every female in the restroom when there are other alternatives at hand. I think everyone should respect the privacy of others, period. The restrooms are posted ans amle and female for a reason. If no one cared, there would not be signs on the door telling one which restroom to use.

 

[princessmom29]

Ok and by whose timeframe should I use...I guess you think I should use yours since you know best

ETA I will use the example of driving in a car with friends, some might think it is ok to go off with anyone who has a license, and others may want to wait until the driver has some more experince...which parent is right, neither is right or wrong, they are doing what they perceive is the SAFEST decision for their child.

but not allowing your child to ride with thier friends is not an infringment on anyone else's rights. Bringing your boy into the restroom is.

 

[luvmy3]

Sorry, but the women's restroom is meant for females of all ages and the mens room is meant for males of all ages. The only exception should be infants toddlers, and young preschoolers who simply cannot toilet on thier own, but really those individuals SHOULD be using family restrooms. That is the purpose of providing them, so that no one has to go into the wrong restroom. It is not my personal feelings, but the feelings of everyone in the restroom that should be respected. ALL females expect they there will only be females or very young children in the WOMEN'S restroom. There is an expectation of privacy there to conduct what is a very personal task, and attend to female needs. One person's desire to keep thier son with them should not trump the right to privacy of every female in the restroom when there are other alternatives at hand. I think everyone should respect the privacy of others, period. The restrooms are posted ans amle and female for a reason. If no one cared, there would not be signs on the door telling one which restroom to use.

Nobody said they weren't. The fact is they aren't meant for ONLY women of all ages, or ONLY men of all ages otherwise there would be no debate because there would never be any person of any age of the opposite sex allowed in those bathrooms. You seem to be missing that there is no set age rule that says a child cannot go into the bathroom for the opposite sex, so therefore your reason they shouldn't is just your opinion, not fact, not rule, nor law, and certainly not anything that another mother has to "obey". When public places start enforcing rules about what age group isn't allowed in, then you can come back and argue with a mother that wants her 7 year old in the women's restroom but until then you have nothing more that your opinion and that doesn't apply to anyone but you.

As for the privacy issue, if you are going to bring that up, then that needs to cover all sexes. If your issue is that the stall allows for peeking and that is an invasion of privacy, then it doesn't matter if its a 7 year old boy, another girl or a female woman doing the "peeking". If you want everyone to respect other's privacy, then your expectation should be that nobody enter the bathroom while someone else is in there just in case the space between teh wall and the stall don't allow privacy.

 

[Bonniec]

It is not my personal feelings, but the feelings of everyone in the restroom that should be respected. ALL females expect they there will only be females or very young children in the WOMEN'S restroom.

Incorrect. I am female and do not share your feelings nor expect that. It is definately your personal feelings as well as many others on this threadthat have agreed with you. Just as many others on this thread, like myself, don't have a problem with it. It's all opinion.

 

[Mkrop]

Sorry, but the women's restroom is meant for females of all ages and the mens room is meant for males of all ages. The only exception should be infants toddlers, and young preschoolers who simply cannot toilet on thier own, but really those individuals SHOULD be using family restrooms. That is the purpose of providing them, so that no one has to go into the wrong restroom. It is not my personal feelings, but the feelings of everyone in the restroom that should be respected. ALL females expect they there will only be females or very young children in the WOMEN'S restroom. There is an expectation of privacy there to conduct what is a very personal task, and attend to female needs. One person's desire to keep thier son with them should not trump the right to privacy of every female in the restroom when there are other alternatives at hand. I think everyone should respect the privacy of others, period. The restrooms are posted ans amle and female for a reason. If no one cared, there would not be signs on the door telling one which restroom to use.

Who died and made you the exception police It should read "the ONLY exception I allow for is the follwing ages" because I certainly dont agree with you and the last time I checked I have feelings and opinions that need to be respected as well. I agree that there are separate rooms but until I see a rule posted by the facility (like the Y did/does) then your opinion is just that an opinion of the proper age.

And trust me if there is a family bathroom available, when DSs were that age, I used them...they are not everywhere

 

[jodifla]

With all the burning IMPORTANT issues in the world, it's always shocking to me that threads like this end up with literally hundreds of responses. And that everyone is so incredibly black and white on the issue, with so little flexibilty.

In general, I believe girls should be in the ladies room and boys in the men's room in about 1st grade and on.

HOWEVER, all bathrooms are not created equal nor are all kids. I let me son go in the men's room at 3 years old in a children's museum, because the women's room line was so long, and he was newly potty trained. But I kept him with me regularly until he was in first grade in most public restrooms. By 2nd grade, he was pretty clear on the idea that he wanted to use the men's room, and unless we were in a stadium setting, with multiple ways in and out, OR at a truck/highway stop I let him use the restroom on his own. He's been using Disney restrooms on his own since last year.

He's about to enter 4th grade. And I still would bring him to the ladies room IF we were in a bathroom setting I deemed very unsafe, again, stadiums and Interstate restroom stop kind of places. This happens no more than a couple times a year.

This is partly because of safety concerns -- particularly on the INterstate -- and partly because of communication issues. My son has a severe language disorder, can't hear well in noisy, crowded settings like a stadium and tends to get pretty anxious in those settings. Unless the bathroom is crazy small, we use the same stall and are in out out in about 90 seconds.

Our gym has a family locker room...so men, women, boys, girls, are all in there together. The changing rooms have full size doors, with individual small changing rooms in front and a shower in the back portion.

Somehow, girls use these with no problem.

 

[maxiesmom]

Of course its comparable. We are talking about children accompanying their parents, not grown men or women. If sons belong in the male restroom, them NO male child of any age belongs in the women's restroom, and this issue would be a non issue. However as it stands, there is no law or rule preventing a male child of the age of 7 accompanying his mother into the women's restroom, at least at WDW. The only reason people are claiming it is wrong, or right is based on their own feeling about the issue. You can't claim your family's comfort is more valid than another in this situation.
Maybe a 7 year old can manage in the bathroom, but petrified to sit alone on a bench. Who are any of you to decide that the 7 year old doesn't need to be with his mother?

Who are you to decide that everyone else has to deal with another parent's paranoia? Anyone can parent however they choose to, as long as they do not infringe on everyone else's rights when they do so. And every female has the right to expect that only females will be in a women's restroom. Not that someone will be brining in a male child who is capable on using the toilet on their own. While there may not be a law against having guys of all ages in a womens restroom, there is an expectation that over a certain age they should use the proper gender facilites. Why else would they have seperate restrooms?

Most people wouldn't have an issue with a young child who needs help using an opposite sex restroom. This is only an issue because so many parents see the boogyman around every corner, and make themselves feel better by bringing in a male child who is more than capable of using the toilet by themselves. It isn't really about safety, it is about the parent making themselves feel better. Becuase as was stated a while back, molesters are usually someone the child knows. Not a stranger.

Once the average child is going to school and using a toilet on their own, they have no need to be in the womens restroom. None. If it makes someone feel better, then they can take them into the stall with them. If anyone should be expected to give up their privacy so that the parent can feel better, it should be the parent. Not everyone else in the restroom.

 

[Mkrop]

Who are you to decide that everyone else has to deal with another parent's paranoia? Anyone can parent however they choose to, as long as they do not infringe on everyone else's rights when they do so. And every female has the right to expect that only females will be in a women's restroom. Not that someone will be brining in a male child who is capable on using the toilet on their own.Most people wouldn't have an issue with a young child who needs help using an opposite sex restroom. This is only an issue because so many parents see the boogyman around every corner, and make themselves feel better by bringing in a male child who is more than capable of using the toilet by themselves. It isn't really about safety, it is about the parent making themselves feel better.

Once the average child is going to school and using a toilet on their own, they have no need to be in the womens restroom. None. If it makes someone feel better, then they can take them into the stall with them. If anyone should be expected to give up their privacy so that the parent can feel better, it should be the parent. Not everyone else in the restroom.

They can not expect to only have females in the bathroom you just said so yourself...young boys are allowed in there according to you...so the expectation of privacy is out the window.

Also once again how are you to know in that snapshot of time, is that mom being paranoid or if that child needs help, you dont unless you know the parent and child well. The child may not "look" like they need help but they do. I can tell you I dont broadcast to everyone DS8's disabilities and he doesnt wear a sign but for example right now he just came to me and asked for help tying his swimsuit, he looks completely normal he just has major fine motor skill issues, can usually handle most clothing items just fine, but if we were at a swim club, he just might need my assistance if DH or DS13 are not around, so I might have to take him in with me. Most times I do my best to dress him so he will not need my assistance but my point is you are ready to judge people but you really dont know their story.

 

[maxiesmom]

They can not expect to only have females in the bathroom you just said so yourself...young boys are allowed in there according to you...so the expectation of privacy is out the window.

Not necessarily. If the women who are not ready to let their son use the bathroom on their own would take their son into the stalls with them, then everyone can be happy. The moms can feel happy that their child is safe, and the rest of us can be happy that we don't have boys peeking at us thru the cracks. Boys who are small enough that they need help are not usually seperated from their mom in the restroom. It is the boys who are a bit older that mom usually doesn't keep an eye on.

We can have both things, privacy and moms who can keep an eye on their child at all times. It just seems that the moms want to give their sons free reign of what is a women's facility. And that shouldn't be. Any female in a female restroom should be able to expect privacy. And it could be done, if the mom just put forth a little effort.

 

[luvmy3]

Who are you to decide that everyone else has to deal with another parent's paranoia? Anyone can parent however they choose to, as long as they do not infringe on everyone else's rights when they do so. And every female has the right to expect that only females will be in a women's restroom. Not that someone will be brining in a male child who is capable on using the toilet on their own. While there may not be a law against having guys of all ages in a womens restroom, there is an expectation that over a certain age they should use the proper gender facilites. Why else would they have seperate restrooms?

Most people wouldn't have an issue with a young child who needs help using an opposite sex restroom. This is only an issue because so many parents see the boogyman around every corner, and make themselves feel better by bringing in a male child who is more than capable of using the toilet by themselves. It isn't really about safety, it is about the parent making themselves feel better. Becuase as was stated a while back, molesters are usually someone the child knows. Not a stranger.

Once the average child is going to school and using a toilet on their own, they have no need to be in the womens restroom. None. If it makes someone feel better, then they can take them into the stall with them. If anyone should be expected to give up their privacy so that the parent can feel better, it should be the parent. Not everyone else in the restroom.

Again, when there are specific rules or laws at WDW (or other places) disallowing a 7 year old boy to use the women's restroom, then you can tell other mother's what they can and can't do. Until then every mother in that restroom has the right to decide for themself whether or not their 7 year old boy is allowed in there with them. I don't have to be anyone special, it is just how it is. If you truly have an issue, maybe you can start campaigning to have laws enacted

 

[pinktink83]

Why not have mom take the girls to the bathroom before they split up with dad????????????

 

[Mkrop]

Not necessarily. If the women who are not ready to let their son use the bathroom on their own would take their son into the stalls with them, then everyone can be happy. The moms can feel happy that their child is safe, and the rest of us can be happy that we don't have boys peeking at us thru the cracks. Boys who are small enough that they need help are not usually seperated from their mom in the restroom. It is the boys who are a bit older that mom usually doesn't keep an eye on.

We can have both things, privacy and moms who can keep an eye on their child at all times. It just seems that the moms want to give their sons free reign of what is a women's facility. And that shouldn't be. Any female in a female restroom should be able to expect privacy. And it could be done, if the mom just put forth a little effort.

Once again, I guess I need to get out more bc I dont see boys, young or old just hanging in these bathrooms. They are in, get the job done and are out of there.

I took my kids into the stall with me, or placed one in a stall, while I took the second child in with me, so I guess by your standards I pass but to other postes, I am the devil incarnate for even thinking of taking my child into that restroom.

 

[starshine514]

I didn't read through all the posts, but I do have an opinion. For my girls, DD6 is finally tall enough to reach the sinks/soap/towels in most restrooms by herself. DD4 is nowhere near tall enough. I have to lift her most places. I would expect DH to wait outside and send DD6 to the ladies' room alone, but to take DD4 into the men's room with him (but only if there wasn't a family restroom around). DD4 can handle herself at home, but very few public restrooms are accommodating to children her height.

Also, when we're all together, there's no question. Both girls go into the ladies room w/ me. DD6 sometimes comes in the stall with DD4 and I and other times uses her own stall. It depends on how crowded the bathroom and whether she'll be in the way waiting for DD4 and I to finish (I prefer that she doesn't leave the restroom without us - and I lose my place in line if she needs help reaching a seat cover or something, which is confusing and problematic).

 

[grafxgirl]

My daughter is 7 and my son is 4. My daughter is at the age where she can go into the restroom herself. My husband or I stand at the door and wait for her to come out. Every now and then we may crack the door open (without sticking our heads in and looking) and yell in to her to see how she is doing. Our 4 year old son still goes into the men's room with my husband or the women's room with me though.

As a parent though, it doesn't bother me what other parents feel is correct with their own children.

 

[princessmom29]

You know, if everyone could just use a little bit of common sense instead of arguing about every word someone uses this dicussion would not be necessary. There IS an expectation of privacy in the restroom. Many legal cases have established that so it is fact. I can expect NOT to be on display to members of the opposite sex while there. Common sense would dictate that a small child who is not yet aware of the differences in male and female and the connotations that those differences carry would not be a violation of that privacy while and older child who is very well aware of and curious of those differences certianly would. We all know that this point comes for the vast majority of children about the time they enter elemantary school. We know that at this point they should be toileting on thier own and capable of going into the appropiate restroom to do so. It is the irrational fear of the boogey man and nothing more that leads us to force them into a place they should never be. Why not just let go of that irrational fear and allow kids to do what we all know by rights they should be doing?

 

[proud_canadian]

Hi everyone,

This is the OP here.

I'm not sure if anyone else saw this on the news, but I saw a clip on the preview for the news a couuple of days ago about someone taking photos of children in a toys r us restroom! This is exactly the kind of thing I want to protect my children from.

I do think that DD7 is getting to the age now that she can't really go with DH in the restroom unless there are extenuating circumstances. Last year I do think it was still ok.

This year when we're on our Orlando trip, if we are all together, I will take DD7 and DH will take DD4. DD7 is very independent in the bathroom, but there are still occasions when she can't reach the soap or towels, etc. She is pretty short

If DH and DD7 have split off together and either DH or DD7 need to go to the bathroom and their is no family washroom around (btw does anyone know if sea world or universal have them??), then I'm sorry but DH will be bringing her in. I don't feel comfortable in a busy bustling place for her to go in alone yet. Partially on the small chance she needs help, partially on the small chance she'll get lost, and partially on the small chance she may be taken advantage of. However small those chances are, I'm not willing to take them yet.

When it comes to DH needing to go, we are not comfortable leaving DD7 in a busy place, where we cannot see her at all times. Nor, would she be comfortable with that either. So, unfortunately she would have to go in with him. DH would hustle her over to a stall and it isn't like men have things hanging all around anyways, nor would DD care to look.

As for women's washrooms, my DD's have never been embarrased or uncomfortable seeing a boy in there, and they understand that sometimes boys go in with their mothers, just like they go in with their dad sometimes.

Also, I have never once been uncomfortable about my privacy in a public washrom. Yes there are tiny gaps in between the stalls, but I have never seen anyone peeking in, even small children. That isn't really an issue.

Thanks for all the advice everyone, I didn't mean for things to get so heated!

 

[Bonniec]

It's not your fault. People are just arguing for the sake of arguing and the thread has gotten really stupid. People aren't even making sense anymore, lol.


I went today and a couple of times found the companion bathrooms. They were great. I would look up the location of these before your trip. I know they aren't really family bathrooms, but I think they would certainly be perfect for your daughter and husband. When we went in them, they were dead...no one waiting. You almost don't even realize they are there. If I hadn't have marked them, I would have missed them.

Not that she can't go with him, as I've said before...I think it's totally fine. But the companion ones will probably make them both feel a bit more at ease. And them privacy is nice.

 

[robinb]

I'm not sure if anyone else saw this on the news, but I saw a clip on the preview for the news a couuple of days ago about someone taking photos of children in a toys r us restroom! This is exactly the kind of thing I want to protect my children from.

If you think that women don't videotape in public bathrooms then you are fooling yourself. Perverts come in all ages and genders.