How old is too old for DD's to go with DH in the men's room?

[Leajess99]

My kid can do it but the majority of the boys and girls could not. Esp if there was more than one of them, they would get into mischief and disrupt others. I was constantly reminding them to go back and sit on the bench and wait for the group. I have an 8 year old so I am not that far away from observing the maturity level (or lack thereof) of this group.




Seriuosly I still dont understand that comparison!

Like I said maybe becasue I grew up with much younger brothers, a boy in the bathroom did not phase me as a young girl, and as a grown woman it does not make me blink an eye either. Although I dont know what bathrooms you are all going into bc I dont see tweens or teens in there and I dont see young boys making messes or peeking in stalls. And I didnt know ANY 10 year olds that we taller than me, and I am only 5'2". They all got taller than me once they reach 7th grade! So once again I would be explaining to my DD, if I had one that most of the moms are bringing in their young boys for assitance and safety and that her brief moment of embarrasnment could possibly be saving a young child's life.

Once again for my family it is non issue bc in WDW DH is usually with us or I can send both boys in together. We also make many pit stops and all go, so that if DH and DS13 are on a roller coaster that DS8 does not want to ride (like RNR), that I do no have to send him in unattended. Or I dont have to leave him on a bench unattended bc although he knows to stay put I dont feel comfortable doing that, so we adjust what we need to do as a family.

I also am amazed that you all have kids at such dangerous schools, at our school the kids all go together as a group, with a teacher or aide standing outside. Then if they need to go other times, they have to go in pairs and the teacher will leave her classroom door open so to hear them. These are the K-3rd grade kids. The older kids go independently. And our school has pretty strict security, so not just anyone can roam the halls. So I am not sure why you would say they are safer at WDW than school.

Ref the bolded, I see 10 year olds taller than you quite often. Heck, just last weekend we played a soccer team with several players taller than you. I still wonder if they were on steroids. There were also 8, 9 and 10 year olds. One was even a giirl.

 

[Leajess99]

Sorry, but the women's restroom is meant for females of all ages and the mens room is meant for males of all ages. The only exception should be infants toddlers, and young preschoolers who simply cannot toilet on thier own, but really those individuals SHOULD be using family restrooms. That is the purpose of providing them, so that no one has to go into the wrong restroom. It is not my personal feelings, but the feelings of everyone in the restroom that should be respected. ALL females expect they there will only be females or very young children in the WOMEN'S restroom. There is an expectation of privacy there to conduct what is a very personal task, and attend to female needs. One person's desire to keep thier son with them should not trump the right to privacy of every female in the restroom when there are other alternatives at hand. I think everyone should respect the privacy of others, period. The restrooms are posted ans amle and female for a reason. If no one cared, there would not be signs on the door telling one which restroom to use.

I second this. My 8 year old should never walk into a bathroom to find a boy bigger than her in the girl's bathroom unless their is a special need and than she would, or should, see the mother right there with the child (not the case when it happened in June). She nor her 13 year old self conscious sister should have to deal with older boys in the girls' bathroom.

If a mother of an older child cannot cut the strings than they need to use the companion bathrooms but they need to be quick for those who have no other options.

 

[AZMermaid]

I agree that kids should be using the "right" restroom once they are able. For me, the cutoff is about 5/6. I hate when I see boys who are like 8 years old hiding in the corner of the bathroom because they are mortified to be waiting for their mom in the bathroom. Why can't they wait right outside? I totally agree there are signs on the door for a reason and if someone really feels their child will be abducted or abused they should use the family restroom.

The only place I really feel it is "okay" is at rest stops, because there is not a constant flow of people in and out to keep things on the up and up and they are just a bit skeevy!

I was recently in the Santa Barbara airport (just opened the week before I was there). Interestingly, there was only a changing table in the family restroom, not in the woman's room at all. Yes, I checked the handicapped stall. I thought that was an interesting way to encourage families to use that restroom.

 

[AZMermaid]

Just as you think your dd's, and your family's comfort is a valid reason why a 7 year old boy shouldn't be in there, another familiy's comfort is a valid reason why they think they should.

Uh yeah. Her daughter is a GIRL in the GIRL's room. She is following the rules. The boy is not. Sorry, her daughter's feeling are more valid.

 

[Mkrop]

Sorry not when your paranoia interferes with my DD. Seriously looking at it your way then I am doing what is best for MY FAMILY and that means no older boys in the girls room. Why does your paranoia over rule my concern for my DD? Sorry but it doesn't so that is when you fall back on societal norms and societal norms assign sexes to their own bathrooms.

Societal norms change, maybe some of us need to work on this and be more accepting...

Exactly. I personally don't think it is appropiate for older boys to ne in the women's restroom, and what is best for my DD is that they NOT be there. Societial norms say that males use the male restroom nad females use the female restroom. Until about 20 years ago, you never saw women taking thier sons into the ladies room with them. The media has frightened us to the point that many now feel it necessary to do so. The danger level is actually lower than it was 20 years ago, but people see boogie men around every corner. Crime stats say that crimes agianst children by stangers are actually on the decline, but suddenly we are not safe anymore???

False! My dad traveled a lot, and then he died when my youngest brother was 8. My mom as well as plenty of other moms have been taking the kids in for years....youngest brother is 28. Many times it was just her and I out with my brothers, if they could go together, they would. If it wasnt safe, then they came into the ladies room

Ref the bolded, I see 10 year olds taller than you quite often. Heck, just last weekend we played a soccer team with several players taller than you. I still wonder if they were on steroids. There were also 8, 9 and 10 year olds. One was even a giirl.

Then we grow them short in SE PA bc seriously I volunteer at my DSs school and none of the 5th graders are taller than me.

 

[Hannathy]

Then we grow them short in SE PA bc seriously I volunteer at my DSs school and none of the 5th graders are taller than me.

Actually you do. Come to the Midwest. My DS and 1 Asian boy were the only ones my height or a little shorter in his 5th grade class and by 6th grade most towered over me. His best friend was 5'8" in 5th grade and several were just about as tall. And these are the boys some of you are saying belong in the Ladies room because they are too little to handle themselves in the mens room........

 

[AZMermaid]

Societal norms change, maybe some of us need to work on this and be more accepting...


.

Okay. So let's say this was at a elementary school. My school is K-5, so in theory the oldest child is 11. Many people have stated they would not expect their 10 year old boy to wait outside and it is totally okay for them to be in there with little girls and the little girls should just deal with it. Would you be okay with say first grade girls and fifth grade boys all using the same restroom, at the same time, since "no-one cares" and norms are different now? They all use the ladies room at the mall, so they are used to it, right? I'll even say there is a teacher in there to monitor things.

 

[princessmom29]

False! My dad traveled a lot, and then he died when my youngest brother was 8. My mom as well as plenty of other moms have been taking the kids in for years....youngest brother is 28. Many times it was just her and I out with my brothers, if they could go together, they would. If it wasnt safe, then they came into the ladies room


.

Actually, no not false at all. It was very rare to see a boy over that are og 5 in te ladis room 20 years ago, you were the exception rather than the rule. Most moms sent thier boys to the MENS room! Very few exhibited the irrational fears that are now rampant.

 

[Mkrop]

Actually you do. Come to the Midwest. My DS and 1 Asian boy were the only ones my height or a little shorter in his 5th grade class and by 6th grade most towered over me. His best friend was 5'8" in 5th grade and several were just about as tall. And these are the boys some of you are saying belong in the Ladies room because they are too little to handle themselves in the mens room........

I NEVER said that!!!! I said it is up to the parent, not me or you or anyone else bc despite the fact that the child might be a descendant of the Jolly Green Giant, I dont know in that SNAPHOT of time IF that child has addl needs, so I am not going to judge.

I dont personally take my one son (8) in unless it is an extremely sketchy area, and IF I did I would take him into the stall with me. But he looks older and I dont want anyone judging me, and if they do well too bad, it is a rare occurence so I am not going to worry about it.

Actually, no not false at all. It was very rare to see a boy over that are og 5 in te ladis room 20 years ago, you were the exception rather than the rule. Most moms sent thier boys to the MENS room! Very few exhibited the irrational fears that are now rampant.

Really so I IMAGINED all those boys including my brothers in the bathroom all those years ago... This is not a new trend, at least not where I grew up here and in NY

Okay. So let's say this was at a elementary school. My school is K-5, so in theory the oldest child is 11. Many people have stated they would not expect their 10 year old boy to wait outside and it is totally okay for them to be in there with little girls and the little girls should just deal with it. Would you be okay with say first grade girls and fifth grade boys all using the same restroom, at the same time, since "no-one cares" and norms are different now? They all use the ladies room at the mall, so they are used to it, right? I'll even say there is a teacher in there to monitor things.

If you have been reading along...I never said that children should be in there unattended without their parent. I also said that you should probably start getting them to go around 7 but 7 is MY OPINION!, but I was perturbed by someone telling me some arbitrary number when they are not the parent of MY child and may not know the extenuating circumstances as to why at 8 I may or may not be able to leave my child outside or send them alone into the Mens Room.

I dont care that they are in there, even if I dont practice it with my own kids, I support a parent's decision as to when they are ready to send their own child into the Men's room alone, bc I dont know them and their particular reasons. I RESPECT that they are doing what was best for their child, and as my mom told me 20 years ago, and if I had a DD I will tell her to deal with bc I am sure that family has a reason.

I support it bc I dont get what the big deal is, I dont run into these giant children in the public restrooms. I usually see kids that I am guessing are 7 and under, so I think some of you like to blow things out of proportion.

 

[princessmom29]

Really so I IMAGINED all those boys including my brothers in the bathroom all those years ago... This is not a new trend, at least not where I grew up here and in NY

I have never been to New York so I cannot vouch for that, but did tavel pretty extensivel as a child. It was not the norm in ANY of the places I visited. Mabye New York is the one exception?

I support it bc I dont get what the big deal is, I dont run into these giant children in the public restrooms. I usually see kids that I am guessing are 7 and under, so I think some of you like to blow things out of proportion.
Actually, it is becoming increasingly common to see 10-12 year old boys, many bigger than me, in the ladies room. Agian, you must live in the one area where this is an exception. I don't see it every time I go inot the ladies room, bu enough to know it is growing trend and personally, I don't care for it as there is NO sound reason they should be there.

.

 

[Hannathy]

Really so I IMAGINED all those boys including my brothers in the bathroom all those years ago... This is not a new trend, at least not where I grew up here and in NY






I support it bc I dont get what the big deal is, I dont run into these giant children in the public restrooms. I usually see kids that I am guessing are 7 and under, so I think some of you like to blow things out of proportion.

You don't run into them because Thank goodness Most parents aren't paranoid and let kids be independent. This over paranoid, helicopter parent thing is a new trend. And very bad for the country.



I have to also say that 25-40 yrs ago you saw very, very few boys in the girls room and never over 5. I took care of a nephew who is 29 and even took him to Disney 3x in elementary school and I never took him in with me.

 

[Mkrop]

.

I live in Philly now and I dont see it here either.

Maybe you are imagining big boys NOW like I supposedly imagine them 20 years ago

IN YOUR OPINION, there is no sound reason, you should preface all your statement with that, bc not everyone feels that way, and I am a user of the Ladies bathrooms. IN MY OPINION, I see valid reasons, and although I dont do it with my boys, I am not going to judge or try to figure out why Mrs Smith or Mrs Jones are bringing their son into the Ladies Room.

And unless the establishment has a rule or some state has a law passed that I am unware of, there is nothing you can do about. If we were at the Y, no matter what the parents say they have a rule and we should all respect that, if there is no rule, it doesnt matter what your opinion is.

 

[Hannathy]

. If we were at the Y, no matter what the parents say they have a rule and we should all respect that, if there is no rule, it doesnt matter what your opinion is.

And why do you think the Y's have had to put up rules concerning how old boys can be and be brought in to the womans room? They never used to have those signs and rules up. It is only with this new generation of paranoid and over protective Moms.

Our Y tried putting up a curtain but when it started getting ridiculous they instituted the rules.

 

[Bonniec]

IN YOUR OPINION, there is no sound reason, you should preface all your statement with that, bc not everyone feels that way, and I am a user of the Ladies bathrooms. IN MY OPINION, I see valid reasons, and although I dont do it with my boys, I am not going to judge or try to figure out why Mrs Smith or Mrs Jones are bringing their son into the Ladies Room.

This.

And with that I'm gonna bow out of this thread because I think it's just become an excuse for some of you to pick on people's parenting skills and I think that's pretty shameful on a Disney board.

Good luck OP with whatever you choose. I'll doubt you'll have any issues either way. Luckily people seem to keep opinions to themselves in public. Enjoy your trip!

 

[princessmom29]

I live in Philly now and I dont see it here either.

Maybe you are imagining big boys NOW like I supposedly imagine them 20 years ago

IN YOUR OPINION, there is no sound reason, you should preface all your statement with that, bc not everyone feels that way, and I am a user of the Ladies bathrooms. IN MY OPINION, I see valid reasons, and although I dont do it with my boys, I am not going to judge or try to figure out why Mrs Smith or Mrs Jones are bringing their son into the Ladies Room.

And unless the establishment has a rule or some state has a law passed that I am unware of, there is nothing you can do about. If we were at the Y, no matter what the parents say they have a rule and we should all respect that, if there is no rule, it doesnt matter what your opinion is.

ok, now you are just bieng rude. I never siad you were imagining anything, just that you must be the exception to the rule.
NO, I don't think it is an opinion when it is established as a societal norm nad is the expectation of the vast majority of rational people. The only reason I care is becuase it infringes on the rights of myself and my child. You can do what you want with your child unless and until it adversely effects my child. Then, if there is no valid reson for what you are doing, I get to say I don't like it and push for it to change. This is one of those times.

 

[momof3ds]

My kiddos are all small for their age and need help in most bathrooms reaching the soap and papertowels. Our son is 5 but he is only the 3rd percentile for height so yes, there are 3 year olds who could be taller and weigh more than he does.

At preschool and the elementary school he is starting on wednesday, they have smaller toilets, smaller sinks that are lower to the ground and so on.

Yes, he comes to the women's room if there is no family restroom available and will continue to do so until he is big enough to reach the sinks and whatnot himself.

 

[princessmom29]

My kiddos are all small for their age and need help in most bathrooms reaching the soap and papertowels. Our son is 5 but he is only the 3rd percentile for height so yes, there are 3 year olds who could be taller and weigh more than he does.

At preschool and the elementary school he is starting on wednesday, they have smaller toilets, smaller sinks that are lower to the ground and so on.

Yes, he comes to the women's room if there is no family restroom available and will continue to do so until he is big enough to reach the sinks and whatnot himself.

We carry wet wipes and hand snaitizer for these times. My DD was very small for her age for a long time, and had trouble when there wasn't a handicapped sink. It worked really well for us.

 

[AZMermaid]

FWIW- Here in the Phoenix area, I see many boys in the 8-10 range in the restroom. Sure, some may be tall, but I am a teacher so I am a pretty good judge of those ages. I would also say 80% of these older boys tend to be Hispanic, so maybe it is a cultural thing? I don't at all mean that to be racist, it is just an observation. So, I don't know where princessmom lives, but perhaps if it is in a place with a higher Hispanic population, that is why we see it where others may not as much.

 

[Brownsfan317]

My situation was opposite. My challenge was that I have a son, and my DH passed away when my DS was 5.

I would allow him to use the men's restroom, but I would stand outside and pretty much monitor traffic in and out of the restroom. Call me paranoid, but there was an instance just this summer of a boy in the bathroom by himself and a stranger molested him. Oh, and yes, I always have hand sanitizer and always told him if he was having problems with the sink or if it was really busy, he could come out and use the sanitizer.

However, when I needed to go, I had him come into the women's restroom, but stay as close to the entrance/exit as possible. Often by design of the restrooms, he was not in view of the stalls and sinks at all. I just could not leave him as a little kid for even the short time that I was in the restroom.

I understand how uncomfortable it can be for some if the opposite sex is in the bathroom area at the same time, but I feel that my son's safety outranks anyone's discomfort. I really think that I have tried to balance his safety while still being respectful of others.

 

[Mkrop]

And why do you think the Y's have had to put up rules concerning how old boys can be and be brought in to the womans room? They never used to have those signs and rules up. It is only with this new generation of paranoid and over protective Moms.

Our Y tried putting up a curtain but when it started getting ridiculous they instituted the rules.

Because they caved to people such as yourself passing judgement, and it resulted around here with them losing tons of families to the other athlectic center that is more family friendly. They would not allow my 4 year old in the restroom or lockerroom with me, even in a stall to get changed out of wet swimsuit. I took him elsewhere for his swim lessons and many people left as well.

ok, now you are just bieng rude. I never siad you were imagining anything, just that you must be the exception to the rule.
NO, I don't think it is an opinion when it is established as a societal norm nad is the expectation of the vast majority of rational people. The only reason I care is becuase it infringes on the rights of myself and my child. You can do what you want with your child unless and until it adversely effects my child. Then, if there is no valid reson for what you are doing, I get to say I don't like it and push for it to change. This is one of those times.

I was being rude, you were the one who told me I was wrong when I knew what I had seem with my own eyes.

And once again how are you going to know if Mrs Jones's son has a legitmate need to be in that bathroom or is it supposedly adverserly affecting your DD?


I think I am backing out of this thread as well, I feel like we are beating a dead horse, I am arguing with the same people who I swore I wouldnt get into these arguments with on this topic. I have been down this road before and it is super frustrating. I dont agree with them, they dont agree with me, and I dont think they are even willing to consider someone's else point a view. Everyone needs to have the same opinion as them, everyone's child needs to be at the same developmental stage as their kid was at that age.