How old is too old for DD's to go with DH in the men's room?

[princessmom29]

Because they caved to people such as yourself passing judgement, and it resulted around here with them losing tons of families to the other athlectic center that is more family friendly. They would not allow my 4 year old in the restroom or lockerroom with me, even in a stall to get changed out of wet swimsuit. I took him elsewhere for his swim lessons and many people left as well.




I was being rude, you were the one who told me I was wrong when I knew what I had seem with my own eyes.

And once again how are you going to know if Mrs Jones's son has a legitmate need to be in that bathroom or is it supposedly adverserly affecting your DD?


.

Where eaxctly did I say you were wrong? I said your experience must be the exception rather than the rule becuause I don't know of anyone who shares them. Now you are putting words in my mouth.

As I said, anyone with a vaild reason should be an exception. Many many moms take perfectly normal 7-12 year old boys into the ladies restroom. Many on here have admitted they take older boys into the restroom who are perfectly capable, and yes that does adeversely effect my DD and many other young girls. They are self conscious enouth about their bodies without the added embarassment of toileting or taking care of female needs in front of boys. I is asymptom of being a pre-teen girl and every girl is self consious and uncomfortable dealing with female bodily functions in front of boys. They shouldn't have to do that just because somebody's Mommy is too paranoid to send them into the men's room of have them wait outside.

 

[princessmom29]

Because they caved to people such as yourself passing judgement, and it resulted around here with them losing tons of families to the other athlectic center that is more family friendly. They would not allow my 4 year old in the restroom or lockerroom with me, even in a stall to get changed out of wet swimsuit. I took him elsewhere for his swim lessons and many people left as well.
.

Actually, at leas part of this is due to a lawsuit that was filed. A couple of pre-teen boys were peeking at and harassing girls in a Y lockeroom. Their mom was in the shower and not supervising them, and it happened more than once. The suit was dropped when they agreed to a policy change. I beleive it eas in the midwest and about 3-4 years ago?

 

[robinb]

Because they caved to people such as yourself passing judgement, and it resulted around here with them losing tons of families to the other athlectic center that is more family friendly. They would not allow my 4 year old in the restroom or lockerroom with me, even in a stall to get changed out of wet swimsuit. I took him elsewhere for his swim lessons and many people left as well.

'Family friendly" does not mean having a kindergarten boy (or older!) watch me shower and/or undress. Even if the little boy changes in a bathroom stall or a changing room they still need to pass all the naked adult women and girls to get there. I, for one, was VERY happy when our YMCA "caved" and instituted an age limit for boys in the girls/women's locker room (and visa-versa). And yes, there were folks like you who kicked up a fit and left. Others took the change in stride. They eventually built a family locker room which was best for everyone.

 

[momof3ds]

Our Y has a family locker room and that's fine when everyone follows the rules. I had to rush my kids out of the locker room recently when a special needs man (maybe in his 20's) was walking around with his junk hanging out. He was with a group but was not being supervised in the locker room.

 

[Leajess99]

What kind of world do you live in that a 6-year-old boy is going to be looking at your daughter in any inappropriate way? My son is disgusted by kissing on Phineas and Ferb and isn't going to be doing anything but going into the stall, washing his hand and leaving. He will be supervised the entire time.

Societal norms are different across the country and the world. In some parts of the world, and even our country, children are getting married at 13. In other parts of the world, people wear far less clothes than I am comfortable with. Heck, my son can probably see more walking by Victoria's Secret today at the mall than he will in a women's bathroom. I would be more concerned about what might happen on the playground than what is going to take place in a public restroom with parents in view.

I am not advocating a 13-year-old boy coming into the bathroom unless there are issues, but so what if he does. Live and let live. An older child of the opposite gender does not cause issues for your family ... it's a public restroom with doors and locks. Don't we all have more important things to worry about? That's all I'm saying. Why does everyone on a Disney family board think they need to judge everyone's parenting skills and moral character?

I am far from a helicopter parent and am fairly relaxed, but everyone has their own issues. We all try to be the best parents we can be and everyone doubts their abilities and choices at different times. No reason strangers on a message board need to add to the anxiety. The OP was simply asking for age ranges/thoughts. Not sure why everything has to turn into a huge argument.

I hope I have removed most of my sarcasm from this post, but if I haven't, I apologize. I just don't get why everyone thinks they can judge/insult others. I would think on a Disney board, of all places, people should be helpful, caring and keep nasty thoughts to themselves. I guess I should be thankful that something like this is the biggest annoyance I have today.

Since you admit to paranoa than it would be in YOUR child's best interest to be in the same stall as you. How could you protect him while you are sitting on the toilet in another stall?? Simply, you can't so if you are so worried about something bad than take him in the stall with you!!!!

 

[Leajess99]

Actually you do. Come to the Midwest. My DS and 1 Asian boy were the only ones my height or a little shorter in his 5th grade class and by 6th grade most towered over me. His best friend was 5'8" in 5th grade and several were just about as tall. And these are the boys some of you are saying belong in the Ladies room because they are too little to handle themselves in the mens room........

I always feel short around my friend's now 12 year old. He has been taller than me for 2 years but then again his dad is well over 6ft.

 

[Mkrop]

'Family friendly" does not mean having a kindergarten boy (or older!) watch me shower and/or undress. Even if the little boy changes in a bathroom stall or a changing room they still need to pass all the naked adult women and girls to get there. I, for one, was VERY happy when our YMCA "caved" and instituted an age limit for boys in the girls/women's locker room (and visa-versa). And yes, there were folks like you who kicked up a fit and left. Others took the change in stride. They eventually built a family locker room which was best for everyone.

If the child was out of diapers, they were not allowed in there.

I left because he was FOUR not kindergarten age and needed assistance he had OT and PT issues, I would have GLADLY stayed if there were family options, there were NO family options at this facility. That and a lousy teacher were the final straw but I could have tried another teacher. I had to take my son in his wet swimsuit out in the chilly air (fall time), I dried him off the best I could but he was still wet in the car.

I took him to a private school for swim lessons where it was perfectly fine for him to be in there in a STALL with me. MANY families left for the Ys competition, it wasnt until they opened a new facility with family locker rooms that people brought their business back to the Y.

Once again I am arguing with the same people who cant seem to see anything but their point of view, I am out...I just came back to clarify that I, me Mkrop, was not taking a K age or older into the Y, but I will support another mom who feels it is necessary if other options are not available.

 

[DuckMom]

Since you admit to paranoa than it would be in YOUR child's best interest to be in the same stall as you. How could you protect him while you are sitting on the toilet in another stall?? Simply, you can't so if you are so worried about something bad than take him in the stall with you!!!!

If you read my posts, I did say I take my child into the stall with me if I bring him into the bathroom. I don't have him stand outside the stall. If he has to go, I will stand outside the stall and hold the door, but he is never on his own, unsupervised, in the bathroom. He is normally in the stall with me. I also did mention that a book and an incident at a local restaurant made me paranoid. Maybe I should have used a better word, like leery, but I didn't. There seem to be negative connotations to the word paranoid, so I should have chosen better.

What I don't get is where all this venom is coming from. You don't know me, I don't know you. Why do you have to tell me what is in MY child's best interest? I protect my son to the best of my ability and make the decisions that I feel good about. No reason to insult someone's parenting because you disagree with an opinion.

 

[maxiesmom]

If you read my posts, I did say I take my child into the stall with me if I bring him into the bathroom. I don't have him stand outside the stall. If he has to go, I will stand outside the stall and hold the door, but he is never on his own, unsupervised, in the bathroom. He is normally in the stall with me. I also did mention that a book and an incident at a local restaurant made me paranoid. Maybe I should have used a better word, like leery, but I didn't. There seem to be negative connotations to the word paranoid, so I should have chosen better.

What I don't get is where all this venom is coming from. You don't know me, I don't know you. Why do you have to tell me what is in MY child's best interest? I protect my son to the best of my ability and make the decisions that I feel good about. No reason to insult someone's parenting because you disagree with an opinion.

I wish more parents would make the choice that you did, and if they are worried take their child into the stall with them. Sadly, many don't, and think letting their child be unsupervised in the womens restroom somehow equals keeping them safe. Makes no sense, I mean, wouldn't that be the perfect time for a bad person to try something? With the parent otherwise occupied and out of sight?

 

[Microcell]

I wish more parents would make the choice that you did, and if they are worried take their child into the stall with them. Sadly, many don't, and think letting their child be unsupervised in the womens restroom somehow equals keeping them safe. Makes no sense, I mean, wouldn't that be the perfect time for a bad person to try something? With the parent otherwise occupied and out of sight?

No, and let me tell you why..

For modesty's sake I am not going to take my DS with me into a stall! At the age he was still coming into the women's restroom with me (prob until about 6) and he would stand just outside the stall and believe you me, if he left an area where I couldn't see his feet, I would have gotten right to him, no matter what stage of dress I might be in to protect him. Outside the entire bathroom unattended could be much worse!


If you want to blame someone for "Overprotective" moms like me look no further than mass media. I would rather keep my child close until he can properly defend himself and have a fighting chance. I make no apologies for it either!

 

[Hannathy]

No, and let me tell you why..



If you want to blame someone for "Overprotective" moms like me look no further than mass media. I would rather keep my child close until he can properly defend himself and have a fighting chance. I make no apologies for it either!

No mass paranoia because people can't rationalize that there is less danger now than there was 20 -30 yrs ago and understand the news channels have to fill 24 hours a day of stuff between the commercials so the same story gets played for weeks.

it isn't mass media it is mass misinformed paranoia and over protectiveness, And entitlement.


PS if you don't want your son seeing you no other little girl or woman does either.

 

[princessmom29]

No, and let me tell you why..

For modesty's sake I am not going to take my DS with me into a stall! At the age he was still coming into the women's restroom with me (prob until about 6) and he would stand just outside the stall and believe you me, if he left an area where I couldn't see his feet, I would have gotten right to him, no matter what stage of dress I might be in to protect him. Outside the entire bathroom unattended could be much worse!


If you want to blame someone for "Overprotective" moms like me look no further than mass media. I would rather keep my child close until he can properly defend himself and have a fighting chance. I make no apologies for it either!

If you are embarrassed to have him in the stall with you, then my DD has every reason to be embarassed that he is in the restroom with her. If he is too big to go in the stall with you, then he is too big to be in the ladies room.

Blaming the media is no excuse. It is called thinking for yourself and evaluating the information you are being presented with instead of blindly trusting that it must be true since you saw it on TV, and that the media's portrayl must be the reality of the situation. If you keep your child that close he will neber learn how to defend himself, be aware of his surroundings, or have a fighting chance.

 

[nchulka]

I would rather keep my child close until he can properly defend himself and have a fighting chance. I make no apologies for it either!

The problem with that line of thinking is that time never comes. Adults are kidnapped. How many times do we hear stories of adult women being abducted? There is no age when you are safe and nothing can happen to you. Just today I heard of a mass shooting in an Ihop, crap happens, you can't prevent it all. The best weapon your child has is good common sense and intuition. That is developed over years of being in situations and gauging them and making decisions. This will never be developed internally if mom is always 2 foot away telling the child how to react and behave. The child learns to depend on you to alert them to trouble not their own instincts, the trouble is you won't always be around, they will grow up. I'm choosing to place my kids in situations where they get some sense confidence making their own decisions and handling themselves now while I'm still outside the door able to help if there is any real danger.

 

[CoffeeCup]

No, and let me tell you why..

For modesty's sake I am not going to take my DS with me into a stall! At the age he was still coming into the women's restroom with me (prob until about 6) and he would stand just outside the stall and believe you me, if he left an area where I couldn't see his feet, I would have gotten right to him, no matter what stage of dress I might be in to protect him. Outside the entire bathroom unattended could be much worse!


If you want to blame someone for "Overprotective" moms like me look no further than mass media. I would rather keep my child close until he can properly defend himself and have a fighting chance. I make no apologies for it either!

So it's okay to protect your modesty, but the modesty of other girls and women in the bathroom is not important. Or are you protecting your son's modesty while not being concerned about the modesty of females using the bathroom? Are you and your son more important than everyone else in the bathroom?
At what age do you think your child will be able to defend himself properly? 12? 18? How will he learn to defend himself properly against all possible dangers in the world? Regardless of his age, there always will be someone larger and stronger who might harm him, especially if he never has the opportunity to develop self confidence and doesn't learn to be aware of his surroundings.

 

[roomfor1more]

ummm...because my husband is with me. Sorry I thought that would be plainly obvious, guess I need to remember not everything is obvious to everyone, sorry.

If it is plainly obvious that your HUSBAND is with you, then why on Earth doesn's HE take the boys into the MEN'S ROOM?

 

[maxiesmom]

So it's okay to protect your modesty, but the modesty of other girls and women in the bathroom is not important. Or are you protecting your son's modesty while not being concerned about the modesty of females using the bathroom? Are you and your son more important than everyone else in the bathroom?

That does seem to be what they are saying. To heck with you, or your family. As long as I feel better, and MY modesty is protected, I could care less about you and your child.

If your opposite sex child is so old you are embarasssed to have them in the stall with you, then they have no business in the restroom itself. They need to go in the one that matches their gender.

 

[ccgirl]

Wow....I can't believe this thread is still going on. I have a funny story though. So, we were out for a family walk this weekend and my DS 3 1/2 had to go to the bathroom. I started to walk him in to the ladies room. He pulled me back and said, "mommy that picture is of a girl, I am a big boy and need to go to the boy's room". So, I let him go in the mens room. He was perfectly fine all by himself. I have to admit, I was a little sad my son was old enough to do this on his own. I think that is what happens sometimes, we are so afraid of our children growing up. Isn't that what we are supposed to as parents; raise our children so they can do things for themselves?? I gave him a squirt of sanitizer as he came out because he could not reach the sink.

I don't think anyone here disagrees that special needs children, regardless of their age, can be assisted in any restroom.

If the children are able to take care of their business in school, they can take care of their business alone at WDW.

Did we ever find the "law" that said it was okay for a 15 year old to go in a restroom regardless of the gender?

To those that think we have media to "blame" I disagree. My in laws were all freaked out that I let my DD8 ride around the neighborhood by herself in her bike. I asked why that they let their children do that even younger. They claimed it was a different world today. I told them it was the same world, those "child molesters" were always around we just didn't know about them since they didn't have to register. Now, we are armed with knowledge. It is what we do with the knowlege that matters. I teach my children what to do so when I am not with them they are prepared. If we are not teaching our children, they have no idea what to do when thrust in situations. And, lets face it, you cannot be with your child every moment of the day. So, teach them what to do so they are prepared!

 

[ccgirl]

Hi everyone,

This is the OP here.

I'm not sure if anyone else saw this on the news, but I saw a clip on the preview for the news a couuple of days ago about someone taking photos of children in a toys r us restroom! This is exactly the kind of thing I want to protect my children from.
I do think that DD7 is getting to the age now that she can't really go with DH in the restroom unless there are extenuating circumstances. Last year I do think it was still ok.

This year when we're on our Orlando trip, if we are all together, I will take DD7 and DH will take DD4. DD7 is very independent in the bathroom, but there are still occasions when she can't reach the soap or towels, etc. She is pretty short

If DH and DD7 have split off together and either DH or DD7 need to go to the bathroom and their is no family washroom around (btw does anyone know if sea world or universal have them??), then I'm sorry but DH will be bringing her in. I don't feel comfortable in a busy bustling place for her to go in alone yet. Partially on the small chance she needs help, partially on the small chance she'll get lost, and partially on the small chance she may be taken advantage of. However small those chances are, I'm not willing to take them yet.

When it comes to DH needing to go, we are not comfortable leaving DD7 in a busy place, where we cannot see her at all times. Nor, would she be comfortable with that either. So, unfortunately she would have to go in with him. DH would hustle her over to a stall and it isn't like men have things hanging all around anyways, nor would DD care to look.

As for women's washrooms, my DD's have never been embarrased or uncomfortable seeing a boy in there, and they understand that sometimes boys go in with their mothers, just like they go in with their dad sometimes.

Also, I have never once been uncomfortable about my privacy in a public washrom. Yes there are tiny gaps in between the stalls, but I have never seen anyone peeking in, even small children. That isn't really an issue.

Thanks for all the advice everyone, I didn't mean for things to get so heated!

I am confused why you wouldn't take DD4 as well? If you are trying to protect them from voyeurs, why would you think it would be better to send them in a restroom full of men? I would think sending them in to the ladies room would be safer. We all want to protect our children from it but taking our children with us into the bathroom far beyond the years when they can take care of themselves is not preventing anything other than them growing up and gaining independence. On the rare occasion I did not accompany my DD and my DH when she was younger he would just go to a family restroom with her. He never had to take her to the mens room. If we were out, I would always take her because she was a girl so should be using the girl's room. Same with my son, if we are out together my DH takes him since he is a boy and should be using the boy's room. If I am out with my son alone, I was taking him in to the stall with me. However, just this past weekend he started using the men's room.

Again, I would say that if the children go to the bathroom themselves at school just fine and unassisted, there is no reason for them not to use the appropriate restroom in public.

 

[alice99]

If it is plainly obvious that your HUSBAND is with you, then why on Earth doesn's HE take the boys into the MEN'S ROOM?

I love when the alternative user-names come out to disagree with someone. THIS is your first post? You found THIS thread.

BTW , Welcome,

This thread is a WRECK

 

[dvczerfs]

I am confused why you wouldn't take DD4 as well? If you are trying to protect them from voyeurs, why would you think it would be better to send them in a restroom full of men? I would think sending them in to the ladies room would be safer. We all want to protect our children from it but taking our children with us into the bathroom far beyond the years when they can take care of themselves is not preventing anything other than them growing up and gaining independence. On the rare occasion I did not accompany my DD and my DH when she was younger he would just go to a family restroom with her. He never had to take her to the mens room. If we were out, I would always take her because she was a girl so should be using the girl's room. Same with my son, if we are out together my DH takes him since he is a boy and should be using the boy's room. If I am out with my son alone, I was taking him in to the stall with me. However, just this past weekend he started using the men's room.

Again, I would say that if the children go to the bathroom themselves at school just fine and unassisted, there is no reason for them not to use the appropriate restroom in public.

"if your trying to protect them from voyeurs,why would you think it would be better sending them into a restroom full of men? i would think sending them into the ladies room would be safer." im sure you didnt mean how this sounds. i do agree with you on the rest of your statements.