Moms with boys, bathroom question

[KristinU]

For the record, my DS is 9 and will start 4th grade in the fall - January birthday and December 31st cutoff for the schools here. But that's neither here nor there. For us, I haven't had DS in a ladies room for a couple of years now, he's huge on modesty and embarrassment so he would be kicking and screaming. Oh wait, come to think of it, we made him use a ladies room at a rest area last year (I promised him I wouldn't tell a soul, and here I'm sharing on the DIS! Shhh...) Anyway, he needed to use the restroom for poop and DH decreed that the mens room was just way too nasty. There were no women in the ladies room (nor anyone in sight for that matter) and it was fairly clean and after a literal 10 minutes of trying to persuade him that nobody would ever know, we finally got him to go in.

 

[ElizabethG]

Okay, I am a parent of 3 kids so I do know how it works and just so you know not every single district follows the rules yours does. I couldnt imagine having an 8 year old in 2nd grade
Here the cut-off is Dec.1 so any 4 year old who will be 5 by December 1st starts Kindergarten the current Sept. (unless of course parents choose to hold them for a year). And yes I do know this for a fact since my own children started K at 4. My now 9 year old will start 5th grade this Sept, just like his brother when he was 5th. Last year he was 8 and about to start 4th. So, like I said an 8 year old is a 4th grader
K 4/5
1st 5/6
2nd 6/7
3rd 7/8
4th 8/9 and so on.................................................

There is a range by state from July 1 - Dec 31 for cut off. But, for the Dec cut off, having a child in 2nd grade who is 8 wouldn't be unimaginable, it would be common place. My DD has a Feb birthday. So, she would be 5 when she started K (in all 50 states) and 7 when she STARTED 2nd grade. So, she turned 8 in Feb of 2nd grade.

Anyway, they way it is worded in all states is that a child is 5 for Kindergarten, with cut off determined by state (or district in some states). So, lets just agree that 5=K, 6=1st, 7=2nd, 8=3rd, and so on. That is the age that each child should be at some point in that grade.

 

[Mom2six]

I regret coming into this thread in the first place because now I am worried about the safety of little boys in the men's room! So I will be staying away after this last post. You have all convinced me that 7, 8 and 9 year olds need to go into the women's room with their moms. Before I would have said 8 and 9 year olds are too old, but with all the inappropriate behavior going on in the bathroom, I would not trust it anymore. I've never seen all this peeping behavior, but if it is so bad with stalls just imagine how it is with urinals.

 

[Granny square]

Absolutely moms should be taking care of their children and apparently you need to at WDW because people think it is okay to assault kids with doors! Whether or not the child is touching the door or not is not relevant in assault. The person who kicked the door, and hence the child behind the door, knew precisely where the child was and chose assault as the answer to the problem.

Yes little boys peeking in bathrooms looking for mommy is a problem, but an adult woman purposely hitting a child with a metal door is a far bigger issue.

Lol, really? If mom had let her tween attend to his needs like the guy he is it his little nose would be fine. Blame momma who chose to allow her misconceived crazies rather than the fact if his safety. The same momma who transported him to wdw in a death trap.

But FACTS mean nothing to people who would prefer to keep the kid at the breast until they graduate.

 

[Burnedout]

Lol, really? If mom had let her tween attend to his needs like the guy he is it his little nose would be fine. Blame momma who chose to allow her misconceived crazies rather than the fact if his safety. The same momma who transported him to wdw in a death trap.

But FACTS mean nothing to people who would prefer to keep the kid at the breast until they graduate.

Those are the good moms. Some would t let them out of the womb if they didn't have to.

 

[FrugalFashionista]

I regret coming into this thread in the first place because now I am worried about the safety of little boys in the men's room! So I will be staying away after this last post. You have all convinced me that 7, 8 and 9 year olds need to go into the women's room with their moms. Before I would have said 8 and 9 year olds are too old, but with all the inappropriate behavior going on in the bathroom, I would not trust it anymore. I've never seen all this peeping behavior, but if it is so bad with stalls just imagine how it is with urinals.

I have no idea about WDW but because of all the "peeking" that was happening in my sons Kindergarten class certain boys were not allowed to go to the bathroom without an adult. Luckily my son was not one of those.

I am also the parent that has no problem reprimanding other peoples children.

1) If you are taking your son to the women's restroom he needs to be in the stall with you. The point of not leaving him outside is to keep an eye on him. You can't do that behind a closed door.

2) If you don't take him in the stall with you and he "peeks" or acts in anyway I deem inappropriate I will speak to him about it. If you have a problem with it take him into the stall or teach him how to behave appropriately in a public setting.

I will continue to take my son (6) into the ladies room with me if his father is not present, but he will always be in the stall with me. No ifs, ands, or buts.

 

[MSSANDRA]

Well I have been "peeped" at a few times by a child in a bathroom and every single time it has been a GIRL. I just wave at her.

 

[dvczerfs]

I regret coming into this thread in the first place because now I am worried about the safety of little boys in the men's room! So I will be staying away after this last post. You have all convinced me that 7, 8 and 9 year olds need to go into the women's room with their moms. Before I would have said 8 and 9 year olds are too old, but with all the inappropriate behavior going on in the bathroom, I would not trust it anymore. I've never seen all this peeping behavior, but if it is so bad with stalls just imagine how it is with urinals.

im not taking sides but just f.y.i. you can ask any one who uses the MENS room in wdw, there is no peeping going on at the urinals....you could try it but im thinking you will get assaulted or at least wet.

I have to ask again..... how many on this thread have been in the mens room at wdw??? just askin....

 

[Burnedout]

im not taking sides but just f.y.i. you can ask any one who uses the MENS room in wdw, there is no peeping going on at the urinals....you could try it but im thinking you will get assaulted or at least wet.

I have to ask again..... how many on this thread have been in the mens room at wdw??? just askin....

You mean they aren't filled with perverts and kidnappers? What would happen in one of them if a guy appeared to be endangering a child?

 

[Talking Hands]

Actually when we were in wdw 3 wks ago my dh came out of the men's room half shaking his head and half chuckling. I asked him what was up and turns out a dad with his about 8 yr old daughter were in the men's room. The dad was obviously alone and wasn't comfortable leaving her alone which is understandable. The problem was the dad went into a stall and the daughter stood next to the urinals watching all the men relieving themselves. A lot of men were uncomfortable. If she had been outside dads stall with her feet so he could see it wouldn't have been so bad but nope she was getting a view! Lol we have a dd and she's only 2.5 so he did understand because if he was in that situation he wouldn't know what to do. I told him to leave her outside by the entrance or have her planted in front of his stall with her feet facing in so her "view" would be lessened.

As far as boys in the ladies room, well IMO once they hit 3rd grade or so a "normal" (I hate that word) child should use their own restroom by themselves. I know its important to keep your child safe but I feel we have to consider others too.
Just my two cents!

My husband's solution when my daughter was around 4 1/2 was to take a bandana we had and blindfold my daughter until he got her in a stall and again leaving the men's room. When he returned with her, he told me never again. This was well before they had companion restrooms

 

[dvczerfs]

You mean they aren't filled with perverts and kidnappers? What would happen in one of them if a guy appeared to be endangering a child?

im not taking sides but, you girls can argue over taking a boy into the ladies room all day. ive never used a ladys room and from what im reading here with the name calling etc... they sound like a tuff place to be.

how many, or even can anyone name a case of this happening in wdw?


more kids are harmed everyday, heads split open, legs,fingers broken by parents (not mom or dads) but the adult in charge of a child who lets the child climb,hang.jump off ropes, chains, walls, fences while in the parks.

 

[dvczerfs]

My husband's solution when my daughter was around 4 1/2 was to take a bandana we had and blindfold my daughter until he got her in a stall and again leaving the men's room. When he returned with her, he told me never again. This was well before they had companion restrooms

something happen to me and my dd. i just ran her all he way to the toilet stalls, no blind fold.

"what are those funny looking sinks"

 

[dvczerfs]

You mean they aren't filled with perverts and kidnappers? What would happen in one of them if a guy appeared to be endangering a child?

like i posted before, mens rooms have rules. they are quiet places. anything out of the norm would stick out. the wdw restrooms are filled with dads.

not to mention, like i posted before, i would be willing to bet, you are not alone...... if it was that easy to harm a kid in a wdw mens room, every nut case in the country, world would have an ap.

i think its more of moms piece of mind. trust me, my only child, my daughter 20, lives 1100 miles away, works in the #1 tourist destination in the world and dad had a hard time cutting the cord.i think more then mom

 

[Leajess99]

Next time you are at WDW I want you to notice how the stalls are built. Many, of not most of them, have huge gaps. I can't remember a one that was a solid wall with no way for someone to see inside, either on purpose or on accident.

If someone is that worried that their 9 year old will be taken/wander off, then they need to take them into the stall with them, and not leave them out and about in the womens restroom. If anyone should have to forfeit their modesty for the sake of a child it should be the parent. And not everyone else.

I wouldn't be thrilled to be seen myself, but I would get over it. But I think the 12 and 13 year old girls deserve some privacy in what is supposed to be a gender specific restroom. Especially when they are dealing with that time of the month and all it entails.

My youngest's teammate started her monthly at the age of 10. Could you imagine how embarassing it would be for that child if she started for the first time and that 9 year old was in the bathroom?? I just do not understand why some women are so inconsiderate of others because of such paranoia.

It is quite sad that some people just don't care enough about others to be considerate.

 

[Burnedout]

like i posted before, mens rooms have rules. they are quiet places. anything out of the norm would stick out. the wdw restrooms are filled with dads.

not to mention, like i posted before, i would be willing to bet, you are not alone...... if it was that easy to harm a kid in a wdw mens room, every nut case in the country world would have an ap.

i think its more of moms piece of mind. trust me, my only child, my daughter 20, lives 1100 miles away, works in the #1 tourist destination in the world and dad had a hard time cutting the cord.i think more then mom

I think that restrooms full of dad have to be some of the safest places anywhere.

 

[Talking Hands]

Where is here because in the US, Kindergarten starts at 5 (most states have a cut off month. If you child is not 5 by August, by September, or by October. A few have a later month but not many). 1st grade = 6 2nd grade = 7 3rd grade = 8. However, most kids will have a birthday and turn the next age that year. So if you have an October birthday in a state that has a cut off month of August of September, then in October of the year you are in kindergarten you will turn 6. Then two months into 1st grade you will turn 7. Two months into 2nd grade you will turn 8.

Actually my grandson will be 5 when he starts first grade as he birthday is the day before the cut off date and school usually starts a few weeks before that. A child who turns 6 day after would be 7 for most of first grade. An 8 yo in 4th grade is unlikely unless the child has been skipped ahead a year or 2.

 

[dvczerfs]

I think that restrooms full of dad have to be some of the safest places anywhere.

let me rephrase it,with the security and the amount of people,men,dads, just as safe as in the park.

don't take my word for it..... ask your husband, boyfriend,partner, grandfather who ever uses the mens room at wdw.

 

[zuzu310]

This is like the 2nd or 3rd post I have seen in the last week re: should my son of "x" age be allowed in the women's restroom. I just can't believe how heated these discussions get. First off, why even ask? Who cares? Do what you want! And secondly, women use stalls so why does it even matter? What bathrooms have all of you been hanging out in? It's not like random women are getting naked at the bathroom sink. These discussions always end up being "well my kid's comfort is more important than yours!" And "I can't believe you are coddling your son!" And my favorite "I don't want your son peering in the crack of the door at me." It's just all so pointless.

 

[cheer25mom]

My youngest's teammate started her monthly at the age of 10. Could you imagine how embarassing it would be for that child if she started for the first time and that 9 year old was in the bathroom?? I just do not understand why some women are so inconsiderate of others because of such paranoia.

It is quite sad that some people just don't care enough about others to be considerate.

Exactly. It is sad that this is where we have ended up with this generation of kids. Mom's irrational fear of an imagined boogey man is more important than anyone else's privacy. How did we end up paranoid to the point that a girl has to deal with this simply because Mommy cannot let go of her control over all aspects of Junior's life?

If we are honest with ourselves, that is what this debate and a hundred others like it are really about. Mommy's need to feel needed and retain control of all aspects of their children's lives well after they should have let go, and finding some sort of thinly veiled justification for our irrational behavior.The Mommy Wars, helicopter parents, ect are all really more about Moms than their kids. When did being a better mom than the neighbors become more important than doing what is best for our kids and teaching them NOT to need Mommy constantly?

 

[cheer25mom]

Actually my grandson will be 5 when he starts first grade as he birthday is the day before the cut off date and school usually starts a few weeks before that. A child who turns 6 day after would be 7 for most of first grade. An 8 yo in 4th grade is unlikely unless the child has been skipped ahead a year or 2.

so he will be 6 starting 2nd, 7 starting 3rd and 8 starting 4th. In a state with a December cutoff he could be 8 through half of 4th grade so not that unusual.