!3 year old DD beat up at school...WWYD?

[MrsNick]

I agree with another poster: Martial Arts training does much more than teach you how to defend yourself physically, but builds up your self esteem and confidence, which is what bullies try to take away from you. I think martial arts training would be very good for your DD.

Also, I would call a lawyer, since the school is not following its own written policy about 20 days suspension, and that 10 days suspension is the unwritten policy. That is bologna. Also, do not allow them to talk you out of following through on pressing charges. The school simply wants to keep the incident out of court so that there isn't any record of violence at their school - in other words, it's selfish PR.

Good luck!

 

[TheBellhop]

I'm really sorry to hear about your DD. I don't think that's ever happened to that extreme here...but then again I'm not shocked.

I think they might be jealous of your daughter...but that's just my opinion..

Things are going to get better!

 

[MamaLema]

I'm so sorry about your DD.

This is the kind of stuff that makes me steaming mad! I HATE bullies!

 

[lulugirl]

What would I do? I would hunt down the little bully and cut off her thumbs. I'm kidding, of course but reading your post infuriated me.
I think you and Dh did the right thing by pressing charges. Hopefully a brush w/ the police scared her. I'm curious, have you heard anything from her (the bully) parents?
I'm just so sorry for your Dd. Does she have a lot of loyal friends who will stick by her?

 

[bengalbelle]

I agree with you 100%.

My oldest - now 14 - was having trouble with a boy a year older then him, when he was in 4th grade! Him and his friends would be playing football and this kid wouldnt leave him alone.

One day Matt (this was the bully's name) said something to them, and snagged the ball during a play. My son - lost it. Jumped on him and started going haywire! Then my son's friends (also tired of the harrassment) jumped on him too.... and then Matt's friends joined in. It was a brawl during 4th grade recess. That boy never bugged him again, ever.

This year Joey started freshman year and ended up in a class with this Matt kid. He told me after his first day - and I asked "Oh no... did he say something to you?" And my son laughed "Mom, he hasnt even LOOKED at me since 4th grade."

Fighting may not be the way to go - but never the less, it does seem to work.

I have to agree with not showing fear to bullies. I have 2 stories to share.

The first one is that my son (when he was 3, almost 4) was being picked on by an older child at Pre-K. He was afraid to go to school because the child kept pushing him down and being mean to him. DH and I talked to him and told him to look the child in the eyes and tell him to leave him alone. If he hit or pushed him, DS should do the same. It did work for him. I later found out that this child had picked on everyone in the class and moved on to my DS because he was the youngest and newest kid in class. Once kids showed him they weren't afraid, he quit. My DS is shy and quiet and we did take him to a martial arts class. We decided he was a little young at the time but we plan to put him in probably this fall.

The second story happened to my friend when we were in the 4th or 5th grade. She was very nice and very pretty, but was being bullied by a very large 6th grade girl. She took the bullying for a while, but finally one day she "snapped". She took off her flip flop and beat the hell out of the girl that was bullying her. The bully never bothered her (or anyone else that I know of) again. She (the bully) actually checked me out in Winn Dixie the other day and as soon as I saw her (it had been years) I had to smile when I remembered what happened. It's a shame but sometimes fighting back/defending yourself is the only thing that works.

{{{HUGS}}} to you and your daughter. You both need to stay strong and I would really give some thought to the martial arts classes.

 

[CathrynRose]

She took off her flip flop and beat the hell out of the girl that was bullying her. The bully never bothered her (or anyone else that I know of) again. .

L L ! ! ! ! Very funny!

But good for her!

I have to say - I never ever ever did that as a kid! Ever! I *was* picked on myself, but I dont undersatnd it..

Ive heard a million times "kids will be kids" when it comes to picking on others, but I think it's a crock. Brats will be brats... jerks will be jerks is more like it.

 

[Rajah]

Her self esteem is shot. I know all abou that since I was bullied as was my son for years! Finally I signed my DS up for Tae Kwon Do and he loved it. It built his self esteem up, gave him a sense of honor, integrity and perserverence and also had him hold his head up so that others could see that he wasn't someone to mess with. He never got bullied again and would stand for kids that did. He never had to use his skills either but I think knowing that he could protect himself if he needed to really helped him.
It's worth a shot to see if there is an academy around that would allow her to take a few lessons to see if it is something she would like to try prior to paying any tuition.

I *absolutely* agree with this. Try getting your DD into some form of self defence, and TKD is great for both self defence and confidence.