A rock and a hard place (a missing school question)

[momto2js]

So it is a long story but here is the bottom line. My DH will be deployed overseas for the ENTIRE summer. I need to start to plan activities and trips for my boys and I to keep us busy in his absence. I am considering booking a cruise for a week or so after he is scheduled to return as a way to spend time as a family and also have a few stolen moments as a couple.

My problem is that our district hasn't released an academic calendar for next year. My son starts K this year. I have an idea based on history when school should start and the cruise dates I'm considering will be close to the first day of school. How big of a deal do you think it is for my son to miss the first couple of days of school?? It isn't ideal, and if I had a calendar I would try really hard to avoid it but at this point I really need to make some plans.

My DH has traveled extensively in the past but this time calls to the kids will be really limited and 90 days is a long time when you are 5. We have had issues in the past reintergrating dad in to the family after an extended absence and I'm concerned about having DS start school right after he gets home. I was hoping a few days at sea might help with the adjustment and ease some of the transition. However, I don't really want to start the year off totally wrong.

Any suggestions?

 

[Nanu57v]

So it is a long story but here is the bottom line. My DH will be deployed overseas for the ENTIRE summer. I need to start to plan activities and trips for my boys and I to keep us busy in his absence. I am considering booking a cruise for a week or so after he is scheduled to return as a way to spend time as a family and also have a few stolen moments as a couple.

My problem is that our district hasn't released an academic calendar for next year. My son starts K this year. I have an idea based on history when school should start and the cruise dates I'm considering will be close to the first day of school. How big of a deal do you think it is for my son to miss the first couple of days of school?? It isn't ideal, and if I had a calendar I would try really hard to avoid it but at this point I really need to make some plans.

My DH has traveled extensively in the past but this time calls to the kids will be really limited and 90 days is a long time when you are 5. We have had issues in the past reintergrating dad in to the family after an extended absence and I'm concerned about having DS start school right after he gets home. I was hoping a few days at sea might help with the adjustment and ease some of the transition. However, I don't really want to start the year off totally wrong.

Any suggestions?

I think missing the first few days of Kindergarten is not the best idea. However, I pulled my child out at the END of September. Could you wait a few weeks? Not sure how his schedule will be. I think the cruise sounds like a wonderful idea.

 

[kiddisney]

i agree with pp that the fiirst couple of days are important - but has your son already attended pre-school in this school - is it a new school - if he has to miss the getting to know you time - maybe you should move the trip a week or so - but if it's just a continuation of last years class - and it's the only time the kids get with their dad - you would have to think how much it will mean to spend time with their dad -

 

[momto2js]

No, it is a new school. He is in a 4k class now but this is a whole new ball game. It would make it so much easier if they would just announce the schedule. Then at least I'd have a place to start planning.

 

[Leajess99]

I honestly would not worry about it as technically he will not be counted absent if he does not start on opening day. The first day he attends class is considered his enrollment date. My youngest missed the first 2 weeks of school due to surgery 2 years ago and they did not start counting her absent until AFTER she started her first day.

Your child will not miss out on much in school and spending time as a family when dad returns from deployment is very important.

 

[eduk8r26]

Call the school or the school district. They should have a calendar already with the start date. Even if they haven't released it, the district office should still have a general idea of when school will start.

 

[adisneymama]

I honestly would not worry about it as technically he will not be counted absent if he does not start on opening day. The first day he attends class is considered his enrollment date. My youngest missed the first 2 weeks of school due to surgery 2 years ago and they did not start counting her absent until AFTER she started her first day.

Your child will not miss out on much in school and spending time as a family when dad returns from deployment is very important.

This is not true here. If you enroll during Kindergarten roundup/registration you are expected to be in class on the first day. If you are not you are counted absent. The only way to change this is to withdraw them and then register again if the need arises.

I would advise not missing the first few days. Since it is a new school, new teachers and new routine. Try to put the cruise off for a few weeks to let your ds settle into school then go and enjoy!

 

[DisDiva2]

Children at this age especially are very resilient. They will be fine on whatever decision you make. Family time is very important and hey life is short!

 

[MarriedToAPrince]

The first thing I would do is call the school district. They can more then likely tell you the official first day of school.

After that I can tell you from experience, that it can be very tough for littles ones to miss school in the beginning of the year. That is when they are getting used to new rules and new routines. This year my daughter is in preschool. She goes Tues-Thur and school started on Thur. She went the first day and then got sick that weekend and missed the next whole week. It was tough for her and it took a few extra weeks for her to get settled while the other kiddos were used to things. So in that aspect I don't recommend pulling him out.

 

[goofyredraider]

I agree, call the district. In TX, they are considered "enrolled" when they attend the first day. If they are a "no show" for the first few days, they are considered "no shows" and you would have to re-register them.

Communication is key as well. My DH is set for deployment as well, and my kids will miss the last few days of school because of our trip. I talked to the principal and she is excusing the absences because of the reason (and they have not really be absent up to this point so far).

 

[North of Mouse]

Children at this age especially are very resilient. They will be fine on whatever decision you make. Family time is very important and hey life is short!

I think when you explain the situation when he goes after the first few days they will be very understanding. Where we live the first week is a "graduated" week anyway where a few extra children in K. are added each day to make the transition easier for the teacher and the students. We haven't lived anywhere (moved to several states with IBM) where they were not understanding on an individual situation when we needed our children out of school or a little late starting no matter what the general "rules" are. Enjoy your time as family, y'all deserve it

 

[snoopy5386]

I would also put off the trip a few weeks. The first few days of K are important and when they do all of the "getting to know the school" stuff that he would miss. Not to mention if there are any delays in your DH's coming home from deployment you wouldn't be stressing about missing the cruise.

 

[cornflake]

I totally wouldn't skip his first days of school. He's not been, it's a big milestone and as others have mentioned, there's a lot to get acquainted with.

It's not like skipping the first couple days of third grade, when a kid already understands how classrooms work and etc. He doesn't have classroom experience and thus the first few days will be all about getting into the routine, learning about cubbies and schedule and expectations and how everything works, from what to do if you need to use the bathroom to what to do if you want an eraser or don't want snack or you want to use the blocks that girl over there has or etc., etc.

Nevermind the meeting classmates and teacher and the first days activities that are unique to kindergarten and first grade.

It's also nerve-wracking enough to start school for the first time; for most kids I'd think it'd be more so if everyone else had started before and they felt like the other kids knew each other already...

Agree I'd opt for later or do some weekend things or something. Integrating your husband back in to the routine shouldn't take your son out.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

I agree that the school district should know when the first day of school is, even if the calendar isn't out. I work in our district and we usually have the calendar set three years out.

Another thing to consider is whether or not your son would lose his spot in the class, or even in the school if he doesn't show up the first few days. This year the kindergarten classes in our district were over-crowded. Kids were on a waiting list to be placed in classes at any campus that had openings. Kids who didn't show up on the first day without a valid excuse (illness qualified, vacations did not) lost their spaces in their classes. The spots were filled by kids from the waiting list. After the first week, they created two new classes, and the no-shows who lost their spaces were placed in those. One class was at a not-so-desirable campus and many parents were unhappy. The district didn't know which no-shows were going to appear, and which ones changed their plans. So they lumped them all together and everyone lost their spot. So before you make any definite plans, find out your district's policy on kids who miss the first day of school.

 

[Tricia's mom]

I am all for taking your child out of school to be with family... But this I would have to say NO.... Don't let your child miss the first day of school.. The work he can make up.. building life long relationships with other kids he cannot !.. I agree wait a few weeks for the cruise.

 

[maxiesmom]

Another vote for putting the trip off a little if you can. The first few days of school are awkward enough. It would be even more so for a child if they miss the first few days, and then go when everyone else is already settled in. More like being the new kid in school.

Put the trip off if you can.

 

[Monkeyfeet]

Do what is best for YOUR family

I am a worrier, so I would worry about it but probably still go away and when you come back all should be fine. Also, the other kids will be used to the routine and be more confident so that could be in his favor too.

Also, you did not say...is it half day or full day? Here it is half day... 2.5 hours total. I would not worry about missing those few hours.

 

[North of Mouse]

Can't believe the importance that most of you are putting on the first couple days of K. - almost like you'd be missing college. Come on people, I've had three go through it in different states and the first few days are nothing to get in a tizzy about. And no, PP, you will not lose your place in a public school because you don't go the first few days. Where did you get that? Under these particular circumstances, this child being with his dad and family would be much more important. If you reread her post, she has said acclimating in the past after his dad's absence has been hard, and she's supposed to ignore his mental anguish to not miss a couple first days of K?? OP, I'd listen to my own instinct and knowledge of my family issues and trust me, it would be a very hard hearted teacher and principal that would not be understanding. And, as I said before, here the children are graduated into the first week of K a few at a time. Do you think the ones going in the last of the week are at a disadvantage? No, they are not - it's a gradual getting settled time. Relax, no worries, enjoy, and thank your DH for me

 

[shoney]

I see no problem with it at all. Kindergarten classes take a lot longer to learn the routine...they will be learning it the entire month of September! and even beyond that! LOL

The kids are still young and accepting and will never remember that little "joey" missed the first few days of school.

I think it would be worse in older grades when the first day or 2 is all policy and rules and getting the class set up for learning.

I say do what is right for your family.

Good Luck!!!!

 

[cornflake]

Can't believe the importance that most of you are putting on the first couple days of K. - almost like you'd be missing college. Come on people, I've had three go through it in different states and the first few days are nothing to get in a tizzy about. And no, PP, you will not lose your place in a public school because you don't go the first few days. Where did you get that? Under these particular circumstances, this child being with his dad and family would be much more important. If you reread her post, she has said acclimating in the past after his dad's absence has been hard, and she's supposed to ignore his mental anguish to not miss a couple first days of K?? OP, I'd listen to my own instinct and knowledge of my family issues and trust me, it would be a very hard hearted teacher and principal that would not be understanding. And, as I said before, here the children are graduated into the first week of K a few at a time. Do you think the ones going in the last of the week are at a disadvantage? No, they are not - it's a gradual getting settled time. Relax, no worries, enjoy, and thank your DH for me

Mental anguish?

I don't know how it's better to acclimate someone back into the household routine while on vacation exactly but taking the kid out of the routine and having him miss school to go on vacation doesn't exactly seem like sparing him all the 'mental anguish' if he's bothered from missing the first days of school.

Kids in your district do a graduated thing - other places don't. I've never heard of it and it's certainly not set up that way here so the first days are the first days. They don't go on reintroducing everyone and going over cubbies every week.

Yes, OP should do what's best for their family but was asking for opinions.

To many of us, obviously, yes, the first day of kindergarten is important. It's a big thing for a little kid. They can go on vacation a couple weeks later or on a weekend or whatever, hence, I think she should be careful to work around school.

If it were some sort of unavoidable family emergency, that's one thing - this is an optional vacation.