Boorish behavior

[dvcdisney]

I enjoyed this thread There are mean people everywhere, and as the bumper sticker says, "mean people suck"

We see it all the time; often, it's in front of my boy. I always use it as a "Teachable moment" by saying "see how that person acted? It wasnt very nice was it? He looked silly didnt he? Don't act like that."

My biggest challenge on DCL is the seat-saving-police. My family of three get places early - whether it's the pool, Castaway cay, or theatre, we get there to get the seats we want. Invariably, our stuff is moved from beach/pool chairs or our seats swiped in the theater if we go to the bathroom or get a drink.

I especially dont understand the pool. My son will be swimming - I get up to check on him, return, and find people in my seat or beginning to move our stuff. If I say "Excuse me, those are my seats" they say "You can't save seats!" and stomp away. We'll be watching a movie, we go get ice cream or pizza, we come back and there's people in our seats. and they ALWAYS dump our stuff in the dirty towel bins - sometimes we retrieve them, other times (last two cruises) we have to wait overnight and get my boy's crocs back from customer care. It's almost as if it's a personal mission for some people - "let's dump personal belongings in the towel bin!"

Im not sure what the answer is but I should be able to keep my prime spots, that we put the time/effort in to get, and still be able to get up and get a snack or even cool off in the pool. The problem is NOT the "Seat savers" ... the problem is the people who get upset that they didnt get there early enough to get good seats!

I wont even mention the people who arrive to sail away party or pirate night until after it starts but plop their kids down in front of mine who's been there for 30-45 mins...

I don't want to comment on the seat saving issue because I think we've been very good respecting everyone's views in this thread so I would hate for it to be closed because those issues can get very heated.

But I just wanted to say that "mean people" exists on both sides. I think one thing we realize in these boards is that everyone has a perspective and everyone thinks their position is correct.

 

[dvcdisney]

This thread is about boorish behavior and the above quotes are about concerns about the impact of such behavior on our kids, so I hope I'm not too off topic if I share something that happened recently but not on a cruise. My teen-aged sons are in a scout group and they are doing a weekly activity that is supposed to be about them talking with fellow Scouts and their ideas and beliefs. The adult facilitator of this group told us (scouts and parents) at the pre-meeting that this would be scout-led and that he would only interject to get them back on track or on time, or if someone got heated. Well, needless to say, this hasn't been the case and my sons tell me that he interjects his beliefs all the time, sometimes heatedly. This past week he spent the entire two hours going on about his ideas even though they tried to get HIM back on target.

I was worried that my sons may be susceptible to his ideas since he has a position of authority and spoke at length and with conviction and quite a bit of negativity. But they said to me something close to, "Nah, Dad, we've seen lots of people spout off like this in front of you and Mom, and we know what they are saying isn't about us, it is about them and their own fears."

So as much as I am sorry to hear any of your stories of bad behaviors when everyone is trying to have fun, know that the ways you handle these situations and the way you help your children deal with it and not get too upset about it, really will work down the road to "inoculate" them and make them more resistant to these bad attitudes.

Therefore, I suggest we all take our families on a cruise right away to get a booster shot of how to deal with Boorish Behavior!

If you really want to inoculate your children, I suggest WDW is a much better place.

 

[dvcdisney]

So we were on the Dream a few weeks ago and after spending most of the day walking around Nassau, DW & I headed up to deck 11 for a Cove Café cuppa and a cuddle pod. Fortunately there was one open on the portside, just forward of the dividing bulkhead from the Donald Pool area. The pod forward of us was occupied by a gentleman who headed off while I was fetching caffeinated goodness for DW and I. He left behind his beer, shoes and a paperback book. Our pod had nothing on it.

A couple came striding up to us after we'd begun to savor our yummy cappuccinos insisting that we were in their spot. Surprised, I turned to DW who replied to the rather heated statement from the couple that there was nothing on our pod when we arrived, sorry. (The other couple claimed they left their towels on our pod).

The husband then stormed over to the other pod, picked up the gentlemen's things, depositing them on a table behind us by Cove Café. I was astounded and could only fish gape at DW who was wide eyed at the bold as brass behavior.

A few minutes later the gentleman returned to his (now) occupied cuddle pod where he politely informed the rude couple that they were in his seat. They shouted that since we took their pod, they were taking him. The gentleman replied that their behavior was unfair to which he received a derisive snort. Yeah, class.

He disappeared and shortly thereafter a CM arrived remonstrating with the couple that their behavior was unacceptable, entreating them to leave. They replied (again) that we'd stolen their pod, so it all rolls downhill. My shy DW then roared a bit when she politely informed the CM of the truth of the matter. At this point, I didn't want to be near them so I stood, told DW, "I don't want to be around people like this" where after we headed below to get cleaned up.

Awesome, huh? I refused to let them ruin our weekend getaway and we still had a great 3 Day cruise, but...really?

I really like the fact that the gentleman contacted a CM...and more importantly, that the CM did something about it.

 

[ACQUADUCK]

I really like the fact that the gentleman contacted a CM...and more importantly, that the CM did something about it.

Agree let the " paid" CMs with training, deal with it, so many , seem not to be on vacation, but want to be able to tell someone off, for being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and assume incorrectly, like some of these " age" issues.

 

[Lilsia]

As a solo traveler, I always worry about leaving my seat to go to the bathroom or to get a drink, etc. I don't want to leave anything valuable like my nook or phone on my seat, but just leaving towels looks like you abandoned it. I can't believe people will take someone's personal belongings and dump them. If I see someone's stuff on the chair I assume they will be back shortly. I also wish that people that are leaving the seat take the towels and put them in the towel dump to let others know that they are done. I wish they had cards or something to post on the chair, brb.

 

[hubbard53]

I wish they had cards or something to post on the chair, brb.

travelers would print their own cards that say "YOU CANT SAVE SEATS!"

 

[ACQUADUCK]

As a solo traveler, I always worry about leaving my seat to go to the bathroom or to get a drink, etc. I don't want to leave anything valuable like my nook or phone on my seat, but just leaving towels looks like you abandoned it. I can't believe people will take someone's personal belongings and dump them. If I see someone's stuff on the chair I assume they will be back shortly. I also wish that people that are leaving the seat take the towels and put them in the towel dump to let others know that they are done. I wish they had cards or something to post on the chair, brb.

It's an issue, I posted before, my son, ( teenage) went for a swim, had a chair for his stuff, used it, went in, maybe a reasonable time, his stuff, shoes, tee shirt etc, scooped up and thrown in a used towel bin, and other adults in his seat.

 

[Anchors Away 2016]

As a solo traveler, I always worry about leaving my seat to go to the bathroom or to get a drink, etc. I don't want to leave anything valuable like my nook or phone on my seat, but just leaving towels looks like you abandoned it. I can't believe people will take someone's personal belongings and dump them. If I see someone's stuff on the chair I assume they will be back shortly. I also wish that people that are leaving the seat take the towels and put them in the towel dump to let others know that they are done. I wish they had cards or something to post on the chair, brb.

I don't want to start (fuel?) a chair-war either, but I do want to say that in my experience, the number of times I've seen someone take personal items off a seat is very small (I don't remember ever seeing it, but I'm sure it happens sometimes) and the number of times I've seen a chair empty but with stuff on it for hours is dozens and dozens everywhere. Perhaps other people such as the previous poster have not had that experience. I am envious.

As for a card or something as @Lilsia suggests, to me, the easiest thing would be like a white board type thing on every chair where you just wrote what time you left the chair that you intended to return to quickly. Then a clear policy of how long you could leave for (half hour, hour, whatever) and then after that point the chair could be considered empty. And of course if someone writes a time that hasn't happened yet (to game the system) then the chair is already empty. I know this isn't perfect, as some (rebellious) teen might come along and erase them all, but it is just an example of some efforts that could be made to accommodate people who get up for a few minutes, and yet not leave chairs saved all day long, and at the same time avoid confrontations between guests.

 

[Lilsia]

travelers would print their own cards that say "YOU CANT SAVE SEATS!"

LOL You keep using that word. I don't think it means what you think it means. A seat for your own butt is not saving seats. Putting a towel on another chair for someone who won't be there for a while is saving seats. Some people are confused about this. A person should be able to empty their bladder without losing their seat.

 

[hubbard53]

LOL You keep using that word. I don't think it means what you think it means. A seat for your own butt is not saving seats. Putting a towel on another chair for someone who won't be there for a while is saving seats. Some people are confused about this. A person should be able to empty their bladder without losing their seat.

i agree! I know what it means, I'm mocking those that patrol the areas removing personal items or take my seats when I get my son an ice cream.. they take the "you can't save seats" policy much too literally and use it as a license to be rude and boorishly take the seats they want.

 

[Lilsia]

I don't want to start (fuel?) a chair-war either, but I do want to say that in my experience, the number of times I've seen someone take personal items off a seat is very small (I don't remember ever seeing it, but I'm sure it happens sometimes) and the number of times I've seen a chair empty but with stuff on it for hours is dozens and dozens everywhere. Perhaps other people such as the previous poster have not had that experience. I am envious.

As for a card or something as @Lilsia suggests, to me, the easiest thing would be like a white board type thing on every chair where you just wrote what time you left the chair that you intended to return to quickly. Then a clear policy of how long you could leave for (half hour, hour, whatever) and then after that point the chair could be considered empty. And of course if someone writes a time that hasn't happened yet (to game the system) then the chair is already empty. I know this isn't perfect, as some (rebellious) teen might come along and erase them all, but it is just an example of some efforts that could be made to accommodate people who get up for a few minutes, and yet not leave chairs saved all day long, and at the same time avoid confrontations between guests.

I usually try to make friends with my neighbors or a cast member that is patrolling and ask them to keep on eye on my chair that I am just going to the bathroom or getting a drink. This usually works but I hate to bother people.

 

[ACQUADUCK]

i agree! I know what it means, I'm mocking those that patrol the areas removing personal items or take my seats when I get my son an ice cream.. they take the "you can't save seats" policy much too literally and use it as a license to be rude and boorishly take the seats they want.

^^^^This 100%^^^^

 

[YawningDodo]

I've encounter parents behaving badly at WDW lots of times. After my children see such spectacles, I always speak with them about why that behaviour was unacceptable at any age. Apparently, I've been doing it several times throughout the years we've been visiting WDW, that by the time my daughter was 7 and my son was 12, they would tell me before I can say anything "Mom, we know...that behaviour is inappropriate". Sometimes, my daughter would add "I think they should apologize." And she was correct.

I just didn't want them to think that just because people, especially adults, behave that way does mean it's okay. Sadly, they seem to accept that when we go to WDW, they will see it. Now they do tend to ignore it because it seems common.

It sounds to me like you've helped them hit a really healthy balance! Being able to recognize that it's not right or okay without letting it get under their skin and ruin their day is probably about the most positive thing that can be done. At least they know not to do those things themselves, or get so angry about it that someone else's behavior creates a problem for them.

I enjoyed this thread There are mean people everywhere, and as the bumper sticker says, "mean people suck"

We see it all the time; often, it's in front of my boy. I always use it as a "Teachable moment" by saying "see how that person acted? It wasnt very nice was it? He looked silly didnt he? Don't act like that."

My biggest challenge on DCL is the seat-saving-police. My family of three get places early - whether it's the pool, Castaway cay, or theatre, we get there to get the seats we want. Invariably, our stuff is moved from beach/pool chairs or our seats swiped in the theater if we go to the bathroom or get a drink.

I especially dont understand the pool. My son will be swimming - I get up to check on him, return, and find people in my seat or beginning to move our stuff. If I say "Excuse me, those are my seats" they say "You can't save seats!" and stomp away. We'll be watching a movie, we go get ice cream or pizza, we come back and there's people in our seats. and they ALWAYS dump our stuff in the dirty towel bins - sometimes we retrieve them, other times (last two cruises) we have to wait overnight and get my boy's crocs back from customer care. It's almost as if it's a personal mission for some people - "let's dump personal belongings in the towel bin!"

Im not sure what the answer is but I should be able to keep my prime spots, that we put the time/effort in to get, and still be able to get up and get a snack or even cool off in the pool. The problem is NOT the "Seat savers" ... the problem is the people who get upset that they didnt get there early enough to get good seats!

I wont even mention the people who arrive to sail away party or pirate night until after it starts but plop their kids down in front of mine who's been there for 30-45 mins...

I get where you're coming from, and I agree that it's frustrating not to be able to leave your seat for literally even five minutes. I also agree that dumping other people's possessions in the dirty towel bin is utterly unacceptable, and that to me does sound like some kind of revenge attempt for you having taken up the seats. But...

I don't want to start (fuel?) a chair-war either, but I do want to say that in my experience, the number of times I've seen someone take personal items off a seat is very small (I don't remember ever seeing it, but I'm sure it happens sometimes) and the number of times I've seen a chair empty but with stuff on it for hours is dozens and dozens everywhere. Perhaps other people such as the previous poster have not had that experience. I am envious.

As for a card or something as @Lilsia suggests, to me, the easiest thing would be like a white board type thing on every chair where you just wrote what time you left the chair that you intended to return to quickly. Then a clear policy of how long you could leave for (half hour, hour, whatever) and then after that point the chair could be considered empty. And of course if someone writes a time that hasn't happened yet (to game the system) then the chair is already empty. I know this isn't perfect, as some (rebellious) teen might come along and erase them all, but it is just an example of some efforts that could be made to accommodate people who get up for a few minutes, and yet not leave chairs saved all day long, and at the same time avoid confrontations between guests.

This has been my own experience, not just on cruises, not just at WDW water parks, but at water parks around the country and anywhere else there are loungers in a recreational space without any kind of control on how people use them. I was dismayed at Castaway Cay to see that every. single. hammock on the entire family beach was perpetually abandoned but had a pile of beach bags, towels, etc. piled in each of them to make sure that no one but the first family there could use the hammocks all day. Never once did I actually see anyone using the hammocks, but never once did I see a hammock without someone's stuff on it. That, to me, is very frustrating, as I would have liked to lounge in one of the hammocks for half an hour or an hour with my book, but I knew that if I moved anyone's things (not to a towel bin, of course, but to a nearby lounger) I'd run the risk of someone coming back and yelling at me for it. Risking a fight kind of defeats the whole purpose of relaxing in a hammock, so I didn't do anything about it and just moved on and did other things with my time on the island...but I still think it's unfair and selfish.

And I know, from what you've said, that that's not what you and your family do, so I don't mean this as a criticism of you personally. I just mean it as a way of explaining that from the perspective of people who have been shut out from using a shared resource, there's no way of knowing if you're one of the families who actually use your chairs and you've just gotten up for a minute, or if you're one of the families who believe that the chairs are their sole property and haven't actually been there in hours.

I usually try to make friends with my neighbors or a cast member that is patrolling and ask them to keep on eye on my chair that I am just going to the bathroom or getting a drink. This usually works but I hate to bother people.

Good idea. As a solo cruiser, I generally assumed my seat was gone as soon as I was out of it. The exception was when I spent a port day chilling in the Quiet Cove; there were so many empty loungers that I just left my cover-up, towel, and book on the one I was using whenever I got up and no one disturbed it. If it had been crowded I would have needed to find a different approach. Another time I left my beach bag with those things in it hanging on one of the chairs near the pizza window and by the time I got back a group had sat at that table. They hadn't removed my bag, so I just grabbed it and went off to find somewhere else to sit (I'd been half expecting someone to take the table anyway). No need to fight over it; it was just a table.

 

[dvcdisney]

I don't want to start (fuel?) a chair-war either, but I do want to say that in my experience, the number of times I've seen someone take personal items off a seat is very small (I don't remember ever seeing it, but I'm sure it happens sometimes) and the number of times I've seen a chair empty but with stuff on it for hours is dozens and dozens everywhere. Perhaps other people such as the previous poster have not had that experience. I am envious.

As for a card or something as @Lilsia suggests, to me, the easiest thing would be like a white board type thing on every chair where you just wrote what time you left the chair that you intended to return to quickly. Then a clear policy of how long you could leave for (half hour, hour, whatever) and then after that point the chair could be considered empty. And of course if someone writes a time that hasn't happened yet (to game the system) then the chair is already empty. I know this isn't perfect, as some (rebellious) teen might come along and erase them all, but it is just an example of some efforts that could be made to accommodate people who get up for a few minutes, and yet not leave chairs saved all day long, and at the same time avoid confrontations between guests.

I've actually never seen anyone remove personal items either. The only reason that I hear about it is from these boards. But I don't really have much experience with it because when my family of 4 used to spend a lot of time at the pool, we share one chair...my husband and I play tag team (in some sorts)...one goes to the pool with the kids...usually him and the other sits. We fit all of our flip flops/sandals under the chair and our hats and personal stuff with towels piled beside the person sitting...There were situations where I would go to the bathroom and leave our stuff, but it's still there when I get back.

Now that the kids have their own friends and plans, my husband and I walk around and sit in the adult section with coffee/book and relax. We haven't spent as much time at the main pool to see what's going on. I guess I'm glad about that.

 

[dvcdisney]

It sounds to me like you've helped them hit a really healthy balance! Being able to recognize that it's not right or okay without letting it get under their skin and ruin their day is probably about the most positive thing that can be done. At least they know not to do those things themselves, or get so angry about it that someone else's behavior creates a problem for them.

Thanks, I appreciate that.

Sometimes you think you're helping your children, but then realize..."Did I want them to think the whole world was like this?"..."Did I just work away on their innocence?"...It's really difficult to know if bringing attention to this makes it worse. As I said, I didn't want them to think it was an acceptable mature behaviour for adults.

 

[apathetic]

The worst thing for us I didn't actually see. As we've cruised a lot, our kids grew up. Eventually they got freedom to move around on their own for short periods of time to do things like midship detective, sports deck, or get an ice cream. What we didn't realize was the way adults lose their mind on kids walking from the elevator to the ice cream through the adult area. It never occurred to me until my son (about 10) relayed that an extremely brave man threatened to punch him if he ever walked through there again. Yes, a man in his 50s threatened to punch a 10 year old on a Disney Cruise. Later he pointed the guy out but my wife wouldn't let me respond.

Now, we remind them to always go up to the pool deck at midship. They are good at remembering. If they go up forward, they are to go back down. Because we don't want anyone punching kids. Of course, going down isn't without issues. Now you have kids walking down guest room corridors, which is a recipe for different problems. But, at least they aren't in an adult area for 5 seconds. I take responsibility for not realizing how outrageous it was to walk around a Disney cruise. I confirmed with DCL staff that if a kid walks to the elevator in the adult area after 9pm, they are instructed to punch them in the face (joke).

What I learn from watching people and reading threads like this is that most people take Disney cruises for themselves, not the kids. Oh, they will use the kids when they need to. Like, I should be in front of you in line because I have a kid. Or, you should leave that table in Cabanas because I need it for my kids. Or, I am saving 14 seats in the Walt Disney Theater because my husband took the kids to the club. Ultimately, the bad behavior stems from an adult acting like a child who didn't get their way.

 

[Anchors Away 2016]

Now, we remind them to always go up to the pool deck at midship. They are good at remembering. If they go up forward, they are to go back down.

I'm very sorry to hear what happened to your son. No one should be threatened like that. We can discuss back and forth about what is the best way to handle that walk through the adult area or to go around it, but we can all agree that no one should make threats like that.

 

[FigmentSpark]

The worst thing for us I didn't actually see. As we've cruised a lot, our kids grew up. Eventually they got freedom to move around on their own for short periods of time to do things like midship detective, sports deck, or get an ice cream. What we didn't realize was the way adults lose their mind on kids walking from the elevator to the ice cream through the adult area. It never occurred to me until my son (about 10) relayed that an extremely brave man threatened to punch him if he ever walked through there again. Yes, a man in his 50s threatened to punch a 10 year old on a Disney Cruise. Later he pointed the guy out but my wife wouldn't let me respond.

Now, we remind them to always go up to the pool deck at midship. They are good at remembering. If they go up forward, they are to go back down. Because we don't want anyone punching kids. Of course, going down isn't without issues. Now you have kids walking down guest room corridors, which is a recipe for different problems. But, at least they aren't in an adult area for 5 seconds. I take responsibility for not realizing how outrageous it was to walk around a Disney cruise. I confirmed with DCL staff that if a kid walks to the elevator in the adult area after 9pm, they are instructed to punch them in the face (joke).

What I learn from watching people and reading threads like this is that most people take Disney cruises for themselves, not the kids. Oh, they will use the kids when they need to. Like, I should be in front of you in line because I have a kid. Or, you should leave that table in Cabanas because I need it for my kids. Or, I am saving 14 seats in the Walt Disney Theater because my husband took the kids to the club. Ultimately, the bad behavior stems from an adult acting like a child who didn't get their way.

While I agree with your wife about not confronting the guy, you should have reported it to Guest Services. A threat of violence should not be tolerated by anyone, least of all by a 10 year old. That's unacceptable behaviour, if, sadly, a fact of the reality we live in.

 

[MomOTwins]

I've actually never seen anyone remove personal items either. The only reason that I hear about it is from these boards.

I had my personal stuff moved (coverups, sunglasses, sandals etc.) to the top of the towel storage cabinet while I was taking the kids into Nemo's reef on the Dream. We were gone about 45 minutes so were non-compliant with the policy (I know I know, I am a horribly villain and deserve to be hung, drawn, and quartered for lounge chair thievery), but I didn't want to take my things into the splash zone and have everything get soaked, and we were going right back to the pool after. I did not have the option to let my husband stay with the lounge chair because he was sick/quarantined in the room. Frankly, here is my take on it, which I know is not a popular one, but it is a vacation! Everyone needs to lighten up about the rules a smidge. I just shrugged it off and was glad I had been able to find my stuff which had been piled on top of a towel drop-off, but I wish the people who moved it could have been a bit more easygoing too.

 

[MomOTwins]

Yes, a man in his 50s threatened to punch a 10 year old on a Disney Cruise. Later he pointed the guy out but my wife wouldn't let me respond.

I would have reported to a CM. That man should have been put on a "do not cruise" list. People who bully children have no place on a Disney Cruise.