Dark descent into depravity

[DLgal]

Same. I mean, the thought that you can just place a really difficult child into a facility is sort of a nice and tidy one, but the reality today is that it's not really possible. Parents need to deal (or not) with the difficulties as best they can, on their own, and hopefully with some local support. I can't imagine how hard that is with a child such as this one.

It is possible. There are residential facilities for teens/young adults with mental issues. However, you have to enter them willingly and they are super expensive. Considering that Adam refused medications for his mental illness, he likely would not have been a candidate for this type of placement.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

It is possible. There are residential facilities for teens/young adults with mental issues. However, you have to enter them willingly and they are super expensive. Considering that Adam refused medications for his mental illness, he likely would not have been a candidate for this type of placement.

Yes. Someone I know used one and it set them back $100,000, in desperation. I sensed the pp was talking more in terms of public facilities.

 

[DLgal]

Yes. Someone I know used one and it set them back $100,000, in desperation. I sensed the pp was talking more in terms of public facilities.

Although, by the sound if it, this family had the means for this kind of facility, and maybe if they had placed him there earlier, his life would have had a more positive outcome, and this tragedy may never have occurred.

 

[mousefanmichelle]

Gotta wonder if he was sexually assulted by an adult (father maybe) based on what he is saying about drs raping him and his detest for touch and then not wanting to see his dad. That may explain his screenplay and the desire to have a relationship with an adult male. I don't know. I am no expert. I will tell you having a difficult child, is well, difficult. You have to parent based on the child. One size does not fit all and so I can see how one could blame the parents or how they would have mommy or daddy issues but your child is an individual and you have to parent accordingly. The mom could have done better but what if she thought she was doing the best she could given the circumstances with Adam? How many of us do that? All of us. In the end it doesn't really matter what kind of person he was or what triggered this tragedy. It's done. He is done. Study him if you must but that won't help the parents of those children killed by him - they likely don't care.

 

[luvsJack]

Although, by the sound if it, this family had the means for this kind of facility, and maybe if they had placed him there earlier, his life would have had a more positive outcome, and this tragedy may never have occurred.

Maybe I didn’t get it across clearly to @LSUmiss but this is what I was talking about. Not long term. Not lock him up and throw away the key but true help, more than mom could give him.

It’s truly sad to me to think, he isn’t the only one. There are other kids like this guy. And they need help and may not be getting it.

 

[luvsJack]

Gotta wonder if he was sexually assulted by an adult (father maybe) based on what he is saying about drs raping him and his detest for touch and then not wanting to see his dad. That may explain his screenplay and the desire to have a relationship with an adult male. I don't know. I am no expert. I will tell you having a difficult child, is well, difficult. You have to parent based on the child. One size does not fit all and so I can see how one could blame the parents or how they would have mommy or daddy issues but your child is an individual and you have to parent accordingly. The mom could have done better but what if she thought she was doing the best she could given the circumstances with Adam? How many of us do that? All of us. In the end it doesn't really matter what kind of person he was or what triggered this tragedy. It's done. He is done. Study him if you must but that won't help the parents of those children killed by him - they likely don't care.

No studying him won’t help those families. Nothing about this will relieve their grief.

But maybe in experts studying him, something like this in the future can be prevented.

 

[LSUmiss]

No studying him won’t help those families. Nothing about this will relieve their grief.

But maybe in experts studying him, something like this in the future can be prevented.

Exactly. NOT studying him adds to the travesty. There is a WHY & it matters.

 

[Colleen27]

And that goes all the way back to Columbine. I can't remember which of those two was actually relatively popular and there is no evidence either was bullied.

And that case started the conflating of kids not wanting to be around someone toxic with "bullying". Like you, I don't remember which of the boys it was but the less popular of the two displayed Nazi/racist symbols and said things that made people not want to be around him. That's not bullying. That's exercising good judgment.

This is probably sometimes true, but as a parent of two special needs teens, I can tell you that kids are cruel sometimes too and I don't doubt for a second that this boy was a target for bullying. It can really cause a lot of damage, especially when kids with special needs are mocked for things out of their control (like speech issues). It is very sad to witness and it causes a lot of self loathing in these kids.

But I think "self loathing" is the operative word there. The connection between bullying and a whole host of self-harming behaviours is well established, from cutting and eating disorders to suicide attempts. The connection between bullying and mass shootings is much more questionable. And if you look at the "profile" of school shooters, they are not the people you'd expect to see doing these things if bullying was a major or primary cause.

In the end it doesn't really matter what kind of person he was or what triggered this tragedy. It's done. He is done. Study him if you must but that won't help the parents of those children killed by him - they likely don't care.

It won't help the parents, but it can help from a policy perspective. For example, we've collectively poured billions into anti-bullying efforts and policies since Columbine, based on a less-than-well-supported idea that it is victims of bullying that become mass shooters. And while I would hesitate to call those dollars wasted because they've undoubtedly helped a lot of bullied kids, they haven't done anything to address the prevalence of mass shootings because they were targeting a spurious cause. The first step in prevention is understanding, and studying Lanza and others like him is one way of trying to reach that understanding of why young men do these things.

 

[Skellingtonj]

Today’s the anniversary of sandy hook. Go to twitter and search sandy hook. Read the stories. You won’t see this kid in the same light.

 

[LSUmiss]

Is that even an option today? My understanding is that it's difficult to keep someone in a mental health facility long term, at least not without a demonstrated and ongoing threat of harm to himself or others, etc.

Many facilities of long ago were shut down.

You’re right. It is even for those who need it. Deinstitutionalization of the mentally seemed like a good idea b/c facilities were horrible. But some ppl need it. Facilities that do exist are still severely lacking.

 

[Floridaman999]

Today’s the anniversary of sandy hook. Go to twitter and search sandy hook. Read the stories. You won’t see this kid in the same light.

I guess that would depend on what light I see him in currently. I doubt their stories would change my opinion of him at all.

 

[Skellingtonj]

I guess that would depend on what light I see him in currently. I doubt their stories would change my opinion of him at all.

I mean everyone is saying how everything failed him. How he didn’t get the help he needed. He still shot up a kindergarten class. I don’t mean it will change it for the better.

 

[Floridaman999]

I mean everyone is saying how everything failed him. How he didn’t get the help he needed. He still shot up a kindergarten class. I don’t mean it will change it for the better.

I think you might be reading the posts in this thread differently than me. I don't see what you're seeing in the replies.

Edited to add: I think people are discussing different aspects of the mental health system as a whole. Not about his experience with it in particular.

 

[luvsJack]

I mean everyone is saying how everything failed him. How he didn’t get the help he needed. He still shot up a kindergarten class. I don’t mean it will change it for the better.

What he did was horrendous and evil but I think it’s important to talk about the whys and what happeneds. Something happened to make this person that committed this evil act.

It’s not forgiveness or excusing or justifying. Just some simple understanding.

 

[LSUmiss]

I mean everyone is saying how everything failed him. How he didn’t get the help he needed. He still shot up a kindergarten class. I don’t mean it will change it for the better.

It’s not about HIM, it’s about PREVENTING the next one. It’s not that the system failed him, it failed all of us & most importantly the victims & their family. That failure allowed a tragedy to occur.

 

[GreatLakes]

It’s not about HIM, it’s about PREVENTING the next one. It’s not that the system failed him, it failed all of us & most importantly the victims & their family. That failure allowed a tragedy to occur.

That's the key. Studying this piece of excrement isn't about him. If I could bring him back to life just to set him on fire and watch him burn I would. It is to prevent the next "him" from shooting kindergarteners in the face for kicks.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

That's the key. Studying this piece of excrement isn't about him. If I could bring him back to life just to set him on fire and watch him burn I would. It is to prevent the next "him" from shooting kindergarteners in the face for kicks.

The scary part is how many hims may be out there.