Let me briefly tell my story:
During the years my youngest daughter was in high school band, a group of mothers formed a "club"...The MOB (Mothers of Band). Our lives then centered around our children and their band activities. We'd meet once or twice a month at our "leader's" home; have dinner, a few drinks and talk...and TALK.
Ten years ago one of our "sons" lost his life in an auto accident...the evening we were all on our way to the monthly Band Booster meeting. We all grieved and supported one another...and the entire band; we even sat together as a group at the funeral in a section marked, "The MOB".
Eventually our children all graduated high school but we still continued to meet a few times a year and stayed friends. Then 3 of our young men, all Marines, were called to serve in Iraq. While they were receiving their final training before leaving, our "leader", a wonderful, caring, precious lady passed away. She suffered from MS, having spent years in a wheelchair but died from an aneurysm. (Her husband had passed away a number of years ago.) She was kept on life-support until her Marine son could return home to say his final goodbye.
Thanking our Lord, all 3 of "our" Marines returned home safely. But a few months later tragedy struck again. Upon their return my DH (a Vietnam vet) visited with them and after his visit with one of the young men he "had a feeling" something about this Marine wasn't exactly right. Well...he was right. This young Marine was suffering from PTS-post traumatic stress syndrome. A long, long story here that I won't and can't go into entirely. He was under the care of a VA doctor but was not taking his medication correctly. Three days before "the incident" his mother tried to get in touch with his doctor to express her concern; either the message for the doctor was lost or never delivered but on the 3rd day after that phone call this mother "lost" her son. He murdered two people. After the shots were fired he stayed with them rendering 1st Aid and called 9-1-1; waiting with the victims until the ambulance and police arrived. During his trial there was a lot of "confidential" information between him and his VA doctor that was not allowed. In other words, his defense was PTS but his attorney was not allowed to present the evidence supporting this diagnosis. The young man was very, very sick. He thought he was back in Iraq, under attack when he fired his weapon. Sad, sad situation, not only for the victims and their family but for the Marine and his family...and friends. Talk about being "torn"; I had a very, very difficult time with this but the ministers of our church helped us all tremendously. He was sentenced to death and is now in prison waiting the results of his appeal.
Now...while this was going on, my son-in-law, age 28, had been hospitalized off and on for a little over a year. Ten days after the shooting, HE passed away. My precious baby girl was a widow and alone at age 26.
Fast forward a year...and a week; the son-in-law of my cousin (also a young man in his late 20's) was killed in a work related accident. He and his wife were the parents of a 3 year old little girl. Another young widow in our family. We just (yesterday) observed the first anniversay of that death.
As I type this I'm thinking..."your fellow Disboarders are going to think you're making this all up". The sad, sad fact is ...I'm not. The past few years of our life have been pure hell. We could not have made it through without the support of our family/friends and our 2 adorable granddaughters. And for me...Disboards! That may sound shallow but, Disboards is my "escape". I spend time here every day/night...sometime for 10 minutes; sometime for 2 hours. I have to think of nothing sad (except the fact that a trip to Disney for this year isn't going to happen! Damn economy!!!); I can help "1st timers", answering their questions and giving (for what it's worth!) advice; I get to enjoy beautiful pictures, not only from DW but from across our beautiful nation; I received advice from other Disboarders on how to "handle" the first wedding anniversary with DD after SIL passed away; I was able to tell others of a special "Magical Moment" when DD went back to DW with us for the first time after her husbands death-they had honeymooned there and our arrival date for the trip last year fell on their anniversary date-I told the CM as we checked in the "meaning" of the date and, bless her precious heart, she sent cupcakes to our room with a wish for a "Magical Stay";I get to play silly games (driving some Disboarders crazy!
); I get to dream of our next trip.
Your life will never be the same; I often long for "the good old days" when our family/friends saw good times. But, something I've said probably a thousand times, "God never gives you more than you can handle". Remember that always.
...thank God! 
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