Debt Dumpers 2024

[piglet1979]

Dh is hard on dishes. He’s like a bull in a china shop. Sometimes I have to cover my ears when he is emptying the dishwasher.

I got over it really quickly once we had ds27 and dh started cooking. They still sell our pattern so I have bought a few replacement plates, bowls, covered butter dishes, and a gravy boat.
Their quality has gone downhill over the years and they no longer have the made in USA stamp on the bottom.
Same thing with our Oneida flatware. A few get ground up in the garbage disposal each year and every now and then we buy more but this last batch looks very different from the previous ones. Pretty soon the stuff at the dollar store will start looking better.

I looked to see if I could get replacements because really liked my dishes and silverware (I am not sure what happens to our spoons in this house. We have replaced them several times) but I seem to always get the ones that get discontinued right after I get them. Both plates sets have done this. I just got the new set about a month ago so we will see what happens.

When my grandparents went into a nursing home in 2019, I had to fight to get my grandma's china. They wanted to sell it. It is worth a lot I guess. My mom and I did win the fight and I have them. I think about using them all the time, just because. I am afraid of breaking them though. They are a bit sentimental to me.

 

[afan]

i am sorely tempted once my current dishes go south to just pull my china out to use for everyday. the stuff is microwave safe, my dishwasher has a china setting-and the reality is neither of my kids have the slightest inclination to have them passed on.

Please do this, especially if you rarely use them. My grandma on my dad's side wanted her china split between the two gradaughters. I forget if I got 6, 8 or 10 place settings. But it's nothing I ever ate on as a kid, it's totally not my taste and I'll never use it. Yet it's stored and moved around the country with me, as had a great grandma's silverware from my mom's side. I'll never use it either. I need to get rid of the china someday.

 

[WDW_fan_in_TX]

We have to book so far in advance because we play little by little. We're not like most that can just plop $2k down and book a trip next week. We also buy a $25 gift card every time we get paid. We do live pay check to pay check like so many others. And we have been making minimum payments. I just simply missed 1 month. But it was only 1 of 3 cards. We'll continue to pay the minimum each month, like we're supposed to do, on those 3 cards until we get them paid off. The good thing is we haven't used any of the 3 a single time this year. So, the balance has been going down little by little. But the goal is to pay most, if not all, of that big loan down or off. Just depends on what she wants to do with her half of the refund. I'm going to put all of my half on it.

So, the new cookware I can understand, especially if you've been cooking more at home. New pans always make me excited to cook things.

I have an honest question though. You want to put a deposit down on a Disney trip for some point in the next year. How are you paying for the trip when you're living paycheck to paycheck now and not making your minimum payments? What good will putting a deposit down do when you literally cannot afford the actual trip?

Get the loan paid off, get some money in savings after that, and then as a reward for accomplishing some goals, THEN book Disney. Make it the motivation to knock all this stuff out.

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

We have to book so far in advance because we play little by little. We're not like most that can just plop $2k down and book a trip next week. We also buy a $25 gift card every time we get paid. We do live pay check to pay check like so many others. And we have been making minimum payments. I just simply missed 1 month. But it was only 1 of 3 cards. We'll continue to pay the minimum each month, like we're supposed to do, on those 3 cards until we get them paid off. The good thing is we haven't used any of the 3 a single time this year. So, the balance has been going down little by little. But the goal is to pay most, if not all, of that big loan down or off. Just depends on what she wants to do with her half of the refund. I'm going to put all of my half on it.

Do you realize the interest you will pay on those CC by only paying the minimum would pay for SEVERAL Disney trips? Look at your statement. It will tell you. It paying the minimum each month how much you will pay in interest. At this point I think you are being deliberately obtuse and want people to tell you that you are doing a good job and deserve things you can’t actually afford.

 

[princesscinderella]

We have to book so far in advance because we play little by little. We're not like most that can just plop $2k down and book a trip next week. We also buy a $25 gift card every time we get paid. We do live pay check to pay check like so many others. And we have been making minimum payments. I just simply missed 1 month. But it was only 1 of 3 cards. We'll continue to pay the minimum each month, like we're supposed to do, on those 3 cards until we get them paid off. The good thing is we haven't used any of the 3 a single time this year. So, the balance has been going down little by little. But the goal is to pay most, if not all, of that big loan down or off. Just depends on what she wants to do with her half of the refund. I'm going to put all of my half on it.

You really need to put the $25 in Disney gift cards you are buying each week into a savings account instead, earning even a bit of interest is better. You are not making good financial decisions and Disney definitely needs to be off the table until you have a financial cushion where you never need to borrow from a loan shark again. I think investing in a book about finances is helpful and you both need to read it. Heck start with personal finance for dummies https://a.co/d/5sKGoPR I love the dummies series of books as they have an easy to follow format for all sorts of topics.

 

[WDW_fan_in_TX]

Things have gotten so much better for us over the last year. We used to eat out 3 times a day, 7 days a week. Not we eat out 2 times per week. It was kind of a shock for us when we went from a $700/month mortgage payment to a $2k/month mortgage payment. And it took us time to get situated and adjusted to that. But we are doing better. We're actually getting to the end of a pay cycle and having money left over. So that's a good thing. It goes into our rent fund. It may only be $100 or so. But there's at least something left over. Now we figure out the next step to better ourselves.

We've usually just taken all of our tax refund, booked a Disney trip. Take the trip then worry about finances as the year goes. But as you can see it's different now. We've taken on a different mindset. We're trying to be more "adult like" with saving money, spending it more wisely. We tried to move this year from an entire trip booked with our tax refund to just a down payment then take care of other expenses (loans, savings account, etc). It's hard to stay focused and want to use every penny toward every bill and not ever have anything to show for it, other than rent being paid every month.

Right. There is a huge psychological aspect to finances and couples HAVE to be on the same plan and mindset or it's just not ever going to change. Obviously I don't know them, but just from purely going by what is written, that payday loan will get taken care of, and another one will get taken out because lessons are not really sinking in. I think there was a suggestion of making the Disney trip a tangible end goal in order to tackle the debt in a more serious way, which could be a good starter. Some people are really visual learners -- maybe starting with an actual physical poster board in the house with incremental goals and a magnet or something that can be physically moved along as progress is made. Maybe once she realizes that goals can be achieved without going into debt for it, it could motivate her to want to look at preparing and sticking to a monthly budget and all that.

 

[WDW_fan_in_TX]

We're absolutely not trying to do that. We're trying to pay checks and pay some stuff yet still have some fun/get rewarded. It's really hard to stay focused if every cent you make and everything you do is geared toward paying bills and you have nothing to show for anything in the end. It's frustrating. But we are trying to get better.

Do you realize the interest you will pay on those CC by only paying the minimum would pay for SEVERAL Disney trips? Look at your statement. It will tell you. It paying the minimum each month how much you will pay in interest. At this point I think you are being deliberately obtuse and want people to tell you that you are doing a good job and deserve things you can’t actually afford.

 

[newski_mom]

This just reminded me that I still have the same dishes from before dh and I got married, going on 29 years. We lived together for about 3 years before that. So I'd guess they were bought in 1992.
Back then, Pfaltzgraff products were still made in the US.

We also got pfaltzgraff dished in 1992 (when we got married) lol. We actually still use them! I love them still! I got the remembrance pattern and every now and then I'll find a piece in a thrift store that I'll pick up. I bought all kinds of accessory pieces back when the outlet stores were all around, so I still have lots of fun pieces to go with the dishes.

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

We're absolutely not trying to do that. We're trying to pay checks and pay some stuff yet still have some fun/get rewarded. It's really hard to stay focused if every cent you make and everything you do is geared toward paying bills and you have nothing to show for anything in the end. It's frustrating. But we are trying to get better.

You can reward yourself without a several thousand dollar trip to Disney every few years. I checked your post history and you’ve been in debt and struggling since at least 2018 but have managed to plan Disney trips. You aren’t taking this seriously or you would buckle down.

 

[afan]

Things have gotten so much better for us over the last year. We used to eat out 3 times a day, 7 days a week. Not we eat out 2 times per week. It was kind of a shock for us when we went from a $700/month mortgage payment to a $2k/month mortgage payment. And it took us time to get situated and adjusted to that. But we are doing better. We're actually getting to the end of a pay cycle and having money left over. So that's a good thing. It goes into our rent fund. It may only be $100 or so. But there's at least something left over. Now we figure out the next step to better ourselves.

We've usually just taken all of our tax refund, booked a Disney trip. Take the trip then worry about finances as the year goes. But as you can see it's different now. We've taken on a different mindset. We're trying to be more "adult like" with saving money, spending it more wisely. We tried to move this year from an entire trip booked with our tax refund to just a down payment then take care of other expenses (loans, savings account, etc). It's hard to stay focused and want to use every penny toward every bill and not ever have anything to show for it, other than rent being paid every month.

There's no we in this when you aren't agreeing on what to do.

We're absolutely not trying to do that. We're trying to pay checks and pay some stuff yet still have some fun/get rewarded. It's really hard to stay focused if every cent you make and everything you do is geared toward paying bills and you have nothing to show for anything in the end. It's frustrating. But we are trying to get better.

The end is the no debt and reduced stress
The end is less disagreement about it. The end is being able to save for an emergency, travel, retirement and whatever else.

The end is not hoping for money at the end of the week to put towards rent, it's paying yourself before doing anything else. ie money yo the rent fund, emergency, vacation etc. Then you have the rest for utilities, groceries, eating out etc.

It's not a fun process and no one said it was, but big rewards like Disney are for the end, not for a tax refund. You'll have so much more in the end once stuff is paid off.

 

[Nettlelondon]

My SIL is just about the clumsiest person I have ever met and breaks glasses, plates & bowls so quickly it is almost comical. Many years ago she just decided to buy white items - they are often on offer, available in thrift shops and she doesn't care if they match or not - they are the same colour, that's close enough!

 

[softballpooh]

i am sorely tempted once my current dishes go south to just pull my china out to use for everyday. the stuff is microwave safe, my dishwasher has a china setting-and the reality is neither of my kids have the slightest inclination to have them passed on.

We did this! It definitely isn't "fine china" but it was our fancy wedding dishes that we reserved for "fancy" dinners and guests. About 10 years ago, I decided that WE were fancy and could choose to be so every day . We've been using them nearly every day and they make me smile when I open the cabinet. My DH and I celebrate 25 years this year and we had the most fun shopping for "fine dining" dishes for our wedding registry. We still use paper plates and the Dollar Store plastic ones for breakfast and lunch, but always "fancy" for dinner!

 

[WDW_fan_in_TX]

I have no idea what we're paying. I just get an email that says our payment is due and to pay x amount. So I do. But I will definitely start. I think, though, it's like 25% a year. So maybe 2% a month, which breaks down to like $8. But I will start looking for sure. I did pay extra last month.

Do you realize the interest you will pay on those CC by only paying the minimum would pay for SEVERAL Disney trips? Look at your statement. It will tell you. It paying the minimum each month how much you will pay in interest. At this point I think you are being deliberately obtuse and want people to tell you that you are doing a good job and deserve things you can’t actually afford.

 

[Nettlelondon]

We use very nice glassware for everyday. It was originally "best" but some domestic reconfiguring meant we repurposed the space it was in, the new space didn't allow for keeping it in boxes. As we unpacked it we decided we might as well use it, so we do.

 

[softballpooh]

We also have a loan my wife took out at one of these cash stores. It's got a 345% APR, so we feel we need to pay that one off first.

We decided to pay off the loan with the Christmas money we were given, some of the money I made from selling baseball cards the last couple of weeks and put it with some of my paycheck and get that stupid thing paid off.

We've got enough extra cash this week to start a $500 emergency fund, but we wouldn't be able to put any toward getting the car fixed or paying off debt. Or we can put it toward paying off the car? Or toward paying off our CCs/loan (the one with the 345% APR).

I was pretty upset when my wife told me she went and took this loan out. No reason given.

No. I thought it was 345% APR interest. It is NOT. It is indeed 522% APR. It's one of title loan places, not a credit card.

We paid $300 today. The refinance was around $82. That means $220 or so went onto the principal. It dropped our payments to $170ish every other week for 24 weeks (12 payments). The loan was sitting at around $710. But with the refinance fee, we'll end up paying $840ish off by the end. I did some quick math today. On the $800 loan, we'll end up paying $2,100. I asked about paying a little extra each time we pay (maybe like $50), and she said that it would be put on the principal. However, my wife doesn't want to do that. She wants to just pay the $170 and save the extra $50 every 2 weeks.

So that's the update. We had to refinance to be able to pay on the principal. So, it's another 6 months of payments every 2 weeks at 522% APR.

However, the wife doesn't want to fully pay off the loan. She wants to pay $500 on it (to leave about $300 left to pay) then take the extra, buy what was discussed in the last paragraph then put whatever extra is leftover into a savings account in case something happens (washing machine goes out, need new tires, other emergencies). I'm still trying to talk her into paying the loan completely off and then that would give us approximately $170 every 2 weeks to bank into savings, but I may not win that one. But I can also see her point because it would start the savings account immediately

I went back and put all of the quotes from your story starting on Jan. 7 because watching this unfold over the last month has been surreal. Do you realize you've had the opportunity now to pay off this loan completely 3 times and you've yet to do so? WHY? Heck, I was the one who even offered to help you pay some toward the loan thinking that you actually did want to get out from under it. Now, I'm not so sure.

You started with an $800 loan that your wife took out behind your back and has yet to give a reason for AND is continuing to discourage you from paying it off. WHY? Don't you find that mildly curious? You had Christmas cash, an extra $500, and now a lump sum in taxes and you continue to intentionally pay 522% interest on a loan that could be paid off today. WHY?

Two wrongs don't make a right, but she went behind your back and took out a loan with no reason given. Perhaps you should take this tax refund and go pay the loan in full TODAY with no reason given.

 

[Nettlelondon]

I have no idea what we're paying. I just get an email that says our payment is due and to pay x amount. So I do. But I will definitely start. I think, though, it's like 25% a year. So maybe 2% a month, which breaks down to like $8. But I will start looking for sure. I did pay extra last month.

I would start trying to dig in to these statements and balances a bit more if I were you. It is good to understand exactly what the impact of your payments is and then maybe start looking into the paying small additional amounts. Most cards have a payment due day but will take payment at any time. As long as you treat these extra bits as in addition to the minimum payment you may find the overall balance due drops much more quickly than you expect.

 

[Dsny4fun]

We loosely follow DR. I love the principles, but I refuse to cut out vacations until we're out of debt. I'm not going to miss out of making memories with them while they're growing up.
I'm a huge fan of The Budget Mom and kind of combine both their methods into something that makes sense.

I love the Budget Mom....I'm now debt free and owe it to her for teaching me about budgeting (which I clearly didn't know)

 

[WDW_fan_in_TX]

Thank you. And yes, I realize we could've put lots of money towards this or possibly even paid it off. Trust me, I've wanted to. But every time I present that option, it gets shot down. And I'd never go behind her back. She works at the bank and knows immediately anytime I use my card (she gets a ding on her phone) becuase she has fraud protection set up so gets notifications.

As far as helping, I'd never, ever, ever let anyone help. She got us into this, so we're going to have to figure a way out. I'm trying. But as I said, every time she's been against paying more on it. And when we do get our tax return (we just filed Saturday, so it'll probably be 6 weeks before we get the check), I'm going to push to pay that off. I know I"m going to put my half on it. Not sure what she'll do with her portion.

I went back and put all of the quotes from your story starting on Jan. 7 because watching this unfold over the last month has been surreal. Do you realize you've had the opportunity now to pay off this loan completely 3 times and you've yet to do so? WHY? Heck, I was the one who even offered to help you pay some toward the loan thinking that you actually did want to get out from under it. Now, I'm not so sure.

You started with an $800 loan that your wife took out behind your back and has yet to give a reason for AND is continuing to discourage you from paying it off. WHY? Don't you find that mildly curious? You had Christmas cash, an extra $500, and now a lump sum in taxes and you continue to intentionally pay 522% interest on a loan that could be paid off today. WHY?

Two wrongs don't make a right, but she went behind your back and took out a loan with no reason given. Perhaps you should take this tax refund and go pay the loan in full TODAY with no reason given.

 

[DisneynBison]

Things have gotten so much better for us over the last year. We used to eat out 3 times a day, 7 days a week. Not we eat out 2 times per week. It was kind of a shock for us when we went from a $700/month mortgage payment to a $2k/month mortgage payment. And it took us time to get situated and adjusted to that. But we are doing better. We're actually getting to the end of a pay cycle and having money left over. So that's a good thing. It goes into our rent fund. It may only be $100 or so. But there's at least something left over. Now we figure out the next step to better ourselves.

We've usually just taken all of our tax refund, booked a Disney trip. Take the trip then worry about finances as the year goes. But as you can see it's different now. We've taken on a different mindset. We're trying to be more "adult like" with saving money, spending it more wisely. We tried to move this year from an entire trip booked with our tax refund to just a down payment then take care of other expenses (loans, savings account, etc). It's hard to stay focused and want to use every penny toward every bill and not ever have anything to show for it, other than rent being paid every month.

These are great steps in the right direction. Now is the time to keep up with good steps and do everything you can and get rid of the loan and the credit cards. No one else can make the choices for you but you can make the right choices now and knock those out of the picture. You have a lot of people that have been silently cheering for you on here now don't let us end up watching a train wreck instead. It's your choice what we will see in the next 2 months. I hope you make the right choice.

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

Things have gotten so much better for us over the last year. We used to eat out 3 times a day, 7 days a week. Not we eat out 2 times per week. It was kind of a shock for us when we went from a $700/month mortgage payment to a $2k/month mortgage payment. And it took us time to get situated and adjusted to that. But we are doing better. We're actually getting to the end of a pay cycle and having money left over. So that's a good thing. It goes into our rent fund. It may only be $100 or so. But there's at least something left over. Now we figure out the next step to better ourselves.

We've usually just taken all of our tax refund, booked a Disney trip. Take the trip then worry about finances as the year goes. But as you can see it's different now. We've taken on a different mindset. We're trying to be more "adult like" with saving money, spending it more wisely. We tried to move this year from an entire trip booked with our tax refund to just a down payment then take care of other expenses (loans, savings account, etc). It's hard to stay focused and want to use every penny toward every bill and not ever have anything to show for it, other than rent being paid every month.

The whole point of cutting back spending on some things, is to free up money to pay EXTRA toward the debt, not to just keep making minimum payments for the next 10 years. This isn't rocket science. You can make more than one payment each month. When I was paying down debt, if I had a leftover $5 the day before payday, I'd schedule it as a extra payment. You need to keep better recordkeeping. You need to create a detailed budget to SEE where your money needs to go for each paycheck. Maybe all of your cutbacks on eating out are still not even enough that you can cover the rent and minimum payments. You wouldn't know for sure unless you create a budget.

Why did your mortgage go from $700/month to $2000/month? Do you have a mortgage AND pay rent?

Get material possessions out of your mind; you don't need to have anything "to show for it." What you have to show for it is food and a roof over your head. Privacy in bed and the ability to flush. This is life as an independent adult.
The "reward" comes when you log into whatever bill you're paying off and see a much lower balance. It's progress toward a goal. Then someday when debt is gone, all that "leftover" money goes into savings which can be for fun stuff.

All of these peeps talking about planning vacations are doing that after busting their a$$es for months or years and needing a tiny break. You are barely getting started, have not yet paid off a single debt or started an EF, and you want a break/reward already.

You say you're following DR but you're not at all. You have no gazelle intensity. You seem just fine with paying minimum monthly payments but that is insane and will drag it all out for YEARS longer than it has to. We didn't all follow his exact advice about what to cut out of our budget but really the only thing people have said to do differently is to put the loan shark loan at the top of your list only because it's such an outrageous interest rate. If you follow this intently, your debt would shrink.

You have been given A LOT of good advice but you making this frustrating AF.

You just had TWO trips to WDW in 2023 with the last one just in December! What the fark!
That was only 2 months ago!!
Tell her you don't WANT to go. Would she go alone? You are enabling her by being so passive. Tell her the trip will be the reward once you pay off your debt so you could actually save $ toward a trip or whatever else you enjoy doing.

She "won't let you" create a budget.
She "won't let you" pay off the loan shark loan.
She won't tell you what the loan shark loan was for and you don't demand an answer.
Dude, does your wife keep your cojones in her purse? She is like a brick wall to any progress you might make.

Now I'm cursing like a trucker. I can't take it.