Did you ( will you) tell your family that you’re retiring?

[Grumpy's Gal]

this topic came up in conversation tonight and I’m just curious what others have done ( or will plan to do).

We have many years before we need to consider this.

Did you tell your parents and siblings that you were going to retire in advance? Or after it happened? Or did you have a party and that’s how they knew? I would hope everyone’s family would be pleased for them.

Did it cause hard feelings? Especially if you had dysfunction between siblings? If you didn’t mention it at all, seems like you’re hiding something?

What have you experienced? ( or how do you think it will go with you?)

 

[ronandannette]

this topic came up in conversation tonight and I’m just curious what others have done ( or will plan to do).

We have many years before we need to consider this.

Did you tell your parents and siblings that you were going to retire in advance? Or after it happened? Or did you have a party and that’s how they knew? I would hope everyone’s family would be pleased for them.

Did it cause hard feelings? Especially if you had dysfunction between siblings? If you didn’t mention it at all, seems like you’re hiding something?

What have you experienced? ( or how do you think it will go with you?)

Well, sure - I'm not clear on why anybody wouldn't unless they were completely estranged and didn't communicate at all. Same as telling them if we were moving, or one of the kids were getting married or any other significant life event. Unfortunately all of our parents are gone now, but if (Lord willing) we live long enough to retire we'll certainly inform our siblings. As for parties, we will probably celebrate with our friends and colleagues moreso than family members.

 

[sonnyjane]

By the time I retire I don’t think I’ll have any surviving family but sure, if they’re around I’ll tell them lol. My husband would probably notice that

 

[QueenIsabella]

Well, our parents are gone, so there's that. I don't know why it wouldn't come up in casual conversation, kind of like, "we're thinking of building a deck" or, "we decided to take a ski trip this winter" or whatever.

DH's brother is 58, he's mentioned wanting to take early retirement. Completely his business, but DH did mention that, if the company is doing layoffs, it might be worth waiting for a decent separation package. Health care costs, in particular, are crazy these days, so a package that included those costs would be quite valuable. whether DBIL has enough money is a different issue--and completely not our business.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

My parents would be in their early hundrends when I retire. I would certainly love to be able to tell them.

Obviously I would tell me wife and kids.

 

[Skellingtonj]

When my dad retired for about 5 minutes, we all knew. I expect whoever needs to know, will know. It’s not a secret

 

[Southernmiss]

Dh retired after 25 years with his employer 4 years ago. He immediately started career #2 as he was in his mid 40s and we still have college to pay for.

Having multiple retirements (with retirement pay) was a goal of his as long as I've known him--one of his life characteristics is security and comfort. (Think this stems from him watching his dad struggle between jobs after retiring when DH was in high school. )So this was a huge milestone for him.

I posted pictures of his work party on Facebook. We have .mostly just friends and family on Facebook who were very happy for him.

We did not do a big family celebration as we knew he was starting work again the next week, just with a new entity. So it was like a change of jobs and not the big end of working life retirement

 

[soccerdad72]

Probably, yeah. We threw a small retirement party for my dad when he retired. Then, of course, he went back to work the following Monday. He's a master plumber, so he's still doing some work on the side for folks.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I doubt we'd throw a big party for DH---if there were one at all it would likely be with coworkers. But it wouldn't be any sort of secret either and would surely come up in conversation with family.
This is much the way it worked with my parents and my in laws

 

[Allison]

Why wouldn't you?

 

[tvguy]

In our family, the FAMILY has been told in advance. The EMPLOYER got 2 weeks notice.....with a resignation letter that made no mention of retirement. My mom had 6 weeks vacation banked. went on vacation, and two weeks before she was due back, put in her notice.
Sadly, I can't think of anyone I know whose parents were still alive when they retired. I hope to retire in 2 years, if my parents were still alive my mom would be 97 and my dad 110.

 

[Meriweather]

They all knew. Why keep it a secret and why would anyone have hard feelings??

 

[Floridaman999]

Everyone knew. Under the circumstances it would have been impossible for them not to.

 

[Kitty 34]

I told the world!!!

 

[morgan98]

Yeah, I guess I don't understand the situation. Anyway, the term retirement can be used loosely too. I mean fewer and fewer people retire as they did years ago with large company provided for pensions that often required a certain number of years of service and some other requirements. Retirement in many cases is when a person decides to step away from their job.

My husband was 58 when he "retired" from he grueling full time international travel position last year. He now does some consulting and has a hobby job, so he is still bringing in some income, but on his terms.

Don't understand why this should generate hard feelings with anyone.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

I wouldn’t necessarily keep it a secret, but I don’t see any big reveal either.

 

[J'aime Paris]

I work out of the house, managing our beachfront condo rentals. It's my pleasure to do, and it takes only minutes a day. So I'm basically retired already.
DH hopes to take early retirement in about 7-10 years. We've been planning very carefully, and should be on track to make that happen.
We will tell friends/family.
I think he will celebrate by taking a hunting/fishing trip.... far away from civilization.

 

[aprilchem]

Why wouldn't you?

None of my family has saved anything for retirement, so they will need to work until they are unable to work due to age or illness. We have saved aggressively and I should be able to retire at 55/DH at 59 if our savings continue to accrue at their current rate. If we tell them in advance, we will be labeled as a) "uppity" (which is the term they use for anything good that ever happens in our lives), or b) bragging, because even if we just let them know so they aren't blindsided by it, it'll be seen as throwing it in their faces.

So we will not tell them, just like we don't tell them anything else that happens in our lives.

 

[china mom]

I am estranged from two of my brothers so I don't know or care if they even know that I am retired. I don't know if I made any kind of announcement to the other brother or he just caught on.

My mother retired in her mid 70's and I did tell her that I was six months behind her so we had a good laugh about that.

I didn't specifically tell or not tell anyone. I declined the retirement party.

I am one of those lucky enough to have retired on a full pension but got bored and re-entered the workforce.

 

[wenrob]

I think I get where the OP might be coming from. I have family/friends who have nothing set up for retirement and are pretty much working paycheck to paycheck. They will never retire voluntarily because they really can’t. These same people have made “sly” petty remarks (“must be nice,” “gee, I wish *I* could do that”) about our home, vacations etc. as if their problem is not that they failed to plan but that we’re just “lucky.” So while I won’t apologize for doing alright I don’t see myself making a big deal out of it. I’m sure they’ll eventually notice DH and I are on an extended vacation at some point. I do see DH having a “hobby job” after retirement, it’s just in his DNA to go to work.

My folks are still relatively young but they all retired early because of health problems so I can only hope they are here when we retire.