Did you ( will you) tell your family that you’re retiring?

[tex1989]

I will tell the world when it happen's and could care less what anyone thinks. Of course the wife and I have no parents still alive and I am an only child, and my wife has a brother that we have nothing to do with. So it means it is only our son and daughter and their spouses, and friends. I guess it really boils down to how other people will interpret it. But really since it's your life and your retirement it really should be your choice and friends and loved ones should be nothing but happy for you otherwise they are not true friends. I guess because of my family situation I have never really considered anyone asking for money from you because you are retiring. Anyone with half a brain would realize that is probably the worse time to ask because you are now essentially on a fixed income of sorts.

Maybe the real question should be "will you tell people if you retire early?" Doing it at a more normal retirement age should never be an issue. Early retirement suggests you have more money than the normal worker does. But really that is a choice you make as well. I just read an article about a couple who married their senior year of college, were both teachers in Las Vegas had side jobs, saved 75% of their income and lived very meager lives so that after 8 years they had save more than a million dollars and "retired" (stopped working). They now travel with their child, and plan to take only part time or temporary jobs for the rest of their lives.

 

[NotUrsula]

Didn't read the entire thread, but I know that in some extended families, retirees are assumed to be "available" whenever someone needs a hand with a project or with child-care, and thus can get taken advantage of or at least end up in the position of having to make a point of refusing.

If I thought my family might be tempted to try to take advantage that way, I'd probably fudge and say I'd cut back on my work hours, but not that I'd entirely left the workforce.

 

[soccerdad72]

I feel like it’s a little different if you’re in your 30s/early 40s like this example. This isn’t so much retiring to me as much as being financial secure enough to not work. I know it’s a weird line but we have an acquaintance that says “I’ve been retired since I was 27”...I don’t really think 5 years in the workforce qualifies as retiring.

Our financial advisor says he prefers to use the phrase "working on your own terms" with his clients, as many of them officially retire from their primary profession but often do other side projects or work, not always for the income as much as to keep themselves busy. My wife and I are hoping to be in that boat in our mid 50's, once we get our two boys through college (about 9 years now).

 

[North of Mouse]

Absolutely, we did!! Why not? Everyone was happy for us, the same as we are happy for anybody else (family, or not) that retires.
Dh's company had a large dinner for us, and what family is near.

 

[Colleen27]

Our financial advisor says he prefers to use the phrase "working on your own terms" with his clients, as many of them officially retire from their primary profession but often do other side projects or work, not always for the income as much as to keep themselves busy. My wife and I are hoping to be in that boat in our mid 50's, once we get our two boys through college (about 9 years now).

I like that phrase. I freelanced part-time when I was a SAHM and my "retirement" will likely be a return to working for myself rather than an actual exit from the workforce, assuming I want to retire early enough to enjoy some of DH's retired years with him (he's 9 years older). I plan to keep my day job for 12 more years, until our tuition bills are a thing of the past - right now we have one in college, one in private high school, and one in private elem so tuition is our single largest expense - but after that, "working on my own terms" sounds like a very attractive option.

 

[Lilacs4Me]

I wouldn’t necessarily keep it a secret, but I don’t see any big reveal either.

MTE

My mother has been talking about retiring for years, and will be on her birthday this year in October. It wasn't an "announcement" as much as it was her planning and waiting for it to happen.

My dad has also talked about retiring for many years, and we would occasionally sit through conversations where he would mull over the financial pros and cons of exactly when to do it. Then he reconnected with an old high school flame a couple years ago and decided to retire and move from his home of 35 years (my childhood home in MI), to AZ to be with her. I think the announcement that he was moving to AZ was much more jolting than announcing he was retiring!

Nobody will care when DH and I retire. I can't imagine anyone that we would announce it to, would find it very life-changing to their world.

Also, for those who say that they gave a two-week notice to their work that they would be retiring....watching my dad go through his retirement process (US Postal Service), it was like a 3-6 month process to get everything in order. Is two weeks really enough time? Or is the USPS unique and overly bureaucratic?

 

[morgan98]

MTE

My mother has been talking about retiring for years, and will be on her birthday this year in October. It wasn't an "announcement" as much as it was her planning and waiting for it to happen.

My dad has also talked about retiring for many years, and we would occasionally sit through conversations where he would mull over the financial pros and cons of exactly when to do it. Then he reconnected with an old high school flame a couple years ago and decided to retire and move from his home of 35 years (my childhood home in MI), to AZ to be with her. I think the announcement that he was moving to AZ was much more jolting than announcing he was retiring!

Nobody will care when DH and I retire. I can't imagine anyone that we would announce it to, would find it very life-changing to their world.

Also, for those who say that they gave a two-week notice to their work that they would be retiring....watching my dad go through his retirement process (US Postal Service), it was like a 3-6 month process to get everything in order. Is two weeks really enough time? Or is the USPS unique and overly bureaucratic?

I am assuming that your dad retired from the USPS with a true pension and retirement benefit. If that is the case, there probably is more of a process so to speak.

When one retires from a company where the ONLY retirement benefit is your 401(k) that you contributed to, no healthcare or pension benefit, while you are retiring, you are more or less really only quitting. In that case, the amount of notice you give would depend on the complexity of your role and how good or bad of a spot you want to leave your former employer in.

 

[HopperFan]

Hmmm, getting close here .....

Unless you are a person that likes to have parties & celebrations for yourself ... I'm not sure why one would make any kind of formal announcement specifically about retirement. Now if you are retiring and moving, I suppose then you let everyone know you are moving on to the next adventure. I'm not talking about folks sitting around talking and you say "oh yeah I'll have my retirement papers drawn up next summer, yippee?" and keeping it light.
When at full retirement here, folks will deduce by the amount of time spent on the beach

But honestly, I wouldn't go out of my way to tell anyone. I don't want it to look like we are wide open and available. I compare it to the school/scouts/PTA/etc knowing you are technically at stay at home Mom. There sadly are these assumptions that they think you are available for all kinds of committees, projects, driving, babysitting etc. Retirement is too precious and I'm not interested in spending it in ways I wouldn't have otherwise. I have worked hard at establishing parameters that won't change.

So many people "retire" but still not. Have "relative" who had to leave job but with big package. Said they were going to find a job but didn't. They have multiple rental properties they bank on and have some side "hobbies" that produce income. So while they are technically retired, they do multiple things that are actually income producing. So many folks do the same, some posted here .... as DD say .... they still work the "side hustles" so I would say many folks stop working full-time for big companies, to work part-time at their own terms. I totally see DH teaching a college course when retiring.

And then there are those (we know) that "retire" and let someone else pay the bills ................. They would be the first to make some assumptions about our availability, our assistance since we have time/resources. YES, there are plenty of relatives that live different lifestyles, sometimes get themselves in trouble, sometimes use monies that are not theirs or "work" the system .... and would be difficult to deal with if they think you have it better than them. It's kinda like when parents pass and the ones who never handled their life well seem to think they should get more of the inheritance because they need it more. Sadly it just translates to many situations in life, this being one.

So I really don't think it's a black & white situation for everyone ... and I haven't been aware of or been to a retirement party in over 30 years so not sure that is even a real thing anymore other than a company doing a lunch or something for you.

 

[lifesavacation]

None of my family has saved anything for retirement, so they will need to work until they are unable to work due to age or illness. We have saved aggressively and I should be able to retire at 55/DH at 59 if our savings continue to accrue at their current rate. If we tell them in advance, we will be labeled as a) "uppity" (which is the term they use for anything good that ever happens in our lives), or b) bragging, because even if we just let them know so they aren't blindsided by it, it'll be seen as throwing it in their faces.

So we will not tell them, just like we don't tell them anything else that happens in our lives.

Yep. This exactly.

 

[_19disnA]

I don't think you can live your entire life just trying to please everyone else, even your relatives. You are entitled to do things that best suit your immediate family. Sounds like your relatives already have their own opinions that you are unlikely to change regardless of what you choose to do.

They might find out in other ways if they happen to know anyone else who works there or if they try to call you at work and the person answering the phone says "......he/she doesn't work here anymore, retired 4 months ago".

 

[Dznypal]

Ive been retired for 2 years at the end of this month (early retirement due to company taken over aug) and I told everyone who would listen and all were very happy for me

I was only 61 and took my pension and 403B in a lump and reinvested it--don't even miss my penion DH gets a pension and we both get SS

so I got a nice servance package and since my company put it down that I was laid off due to job elimantion I could get unenployment which almost took me to SS

but I am back at orginal job but totaling working on my terms

I am back at the hospital as pool which means I work when were short or if someone needs a day off--only requirement is working 3 days a month

if nothing is on the short list then it counts as filling your requirement--

I love it

a friend of ours thought we were both nuts for taking SS so early--since the longer you hold off collecting the more you get--which is true--but weve both known people who wait till full retirement age and then either get very ill or pass away and never enjoyed retirement

this is the same person who every month is 1500 short for monthly expenses--when we retired he also took his pension--as a lump so he invested a lot more then me but every month they have to go into their savings and he refuses to work --anymore--his business but I couldn't live that way

 

[_19disnA]

I don't think you ever need to discuss your finances, pension, social security situation with any of your relatives. Those are all personal financial matters. To me that is different from talking about retirement which is what the OP was originally asking.

 

[Disney Doll]

I won’t keep it a secret but I probably also won’t be line “Nyah Nyah I’m retired and you’re not”

As far as people asking for $ or time, I’m good at saying no to those I don’t wish to help.

And yeah, if you’ve frittered away money all your life while I’ve saved and budgeted, don’t expect me to bail you out.

 

[aprilgail]

I had a countdown clock going to 10 years so everyone I knew was aware when I was retiring LOL. My friends threw me a big retirement party out at a catering place with family and friends.

 

[MrsJackSparrow4Life]

The majority of my family will know. I don’t speak to my two sisters so they probably won’t know unless they hear it from someone else. I haven’t even told them I got married so I won’t be worried about letting them know about retirement.

 

[OhMari]

My FIL just retired from his retirement job at 80. He was working 30 hours a week at Quad Graphics pushing a broom. Speaking of Quad Graphics, (a huge printing plant that does magazines, coupon inserts) they only allow you to work for them for 25 or 30 years and they expect you to retire. I had a lot of friends work there and were shocked when they were walked to the door and said your services are done-see ya-Quad Graphics had the 401K and no Pensions. A lot of people did not contribute liked they should have and they were not ready to retire in the early 50's.