Do you buy your daughter/DIL a gift for mother's day if they have children?

[mi*vida*loca]

My ex MIL never got me anything. My mother doesn't give me anything either. I don't have a problem with it though. Never even thought about it until this thread.

My grandmother is the best though. She'll give gifts to her DIL (my uncle's second wife who isn't the mother of her grandchildren) in front of me but not even acknowledge Mother's Day to me.

When my children have kids I will get DIL something and DD something. Maybe flowers. Nothing extravagant.

XH still gives me a gift every year and we've been divorced 8 years. He usually transfers me money and tells me to do something for myself (nails, pedicure, massage, hair, etc.).

 

[Dawnlight]

ExH still sends a card even though we've been divorced for over 10 years now.

That is very nice! I can't ever imagining that happening here.

 

[RedAngie]

That is very nice! I can't ever imagining that happening here.

I suspect exH has a secretary or assistant choose the card and mail it after he signs it. But I still appreciate the gesture.

 

[erin1715]

My mother does for her DIL's that have kids. Then she feels guilty that she didn't get anything from Mrs. Homie (who doesn't have kids), and we tell her it's OK, and she cries, and it's a whole thing. Hooray for Mother's Day.

In the same boat over here. I'm the only sister-in-law who can't have children, so I don't know if my MIL buys for her other DIL's and I don't want to know....just another reason for me to feel left out. I love my mother and am glad to celebrate her, but otherwise Mother's Day is just painful.

 

[luvsJack]

I do for my oldest son's wife. Usually a plant as she loves having flowering plants around their patio.

Younger son is no longer married to the mother of his girls, I don't for her but he does. He usually gives her an interesting plant that he knows she will like (like one year it was a Bonsai tree) or he will take his girls shopping to pick something out.

 

[Wendy31]

Like I said earlier, my MIL has never given me anything for Mother's Day, & my mother sometimes does. And I'm fine w/ both & don't expect any gifts.

However, I do plan to one day give gifts to our DD & any daughters-in-law once they are mothers because I want to acknowledge them on Mother's Day as well - that they are mothers too, the day is also for them, & I'm proud of them.

In our families, the day is pretty much "Grandmother's Day," which, I admit, I resent a little. When my own daughter is a mother, I want the day to be special for her too & not just be about me.

 

[MIGrandma]

No, I don't get gifts for my DD or DDIL for Mother's Day. I have given them cards, but not gifts.

My Mother has never given me a gift for Mother's Day, and I don't recall my MIL ever giving me one either. I never expected it, nor even thought about it until this thread.

My step-MIL occasionally gives me a living flower (last year it was a rhododendron bush) and I wish she wouldn't. I have always just sent her a card, never wanted to get into the gift giving with her (we are not close at all).

Personally I wish my DD and DSIL, and DS and DDIL would stop giving me gifts. I truly don't need them. Their visiting is the only thing I really care about. I hate that they feel they have to come up with something to give me for Mother's Day. I've asked them to stop, but they don't.

 

[karmic]

I have only gotten gifts from DH and my kids on Mother's Day- I do get a gift for DD and DSil on their respective days.

 

[jrmasm]

I buy for my mother. My kids buy for me. I can't imagine it any other way.

 

[nkereina]

MIL gives my SIL gifts, as my SIL is a mom. I don't have any children, but MIL usually gives me a hanging flower basket for my yard as a "dog mom". LOL. The gesture is kind, she just doesn't want me to feel left out. I think the gifts she gives to my SIL are nice as well, and I know SIL appreciates them.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

No, she isn't my mother. I mean, she doesn't have children yet, either. But if she did, my answer would still be no.

I don't buy my wife a gift either. I make the kids do it.

 

[katie01]

I think my mom has given me a card/gift on my first Mother's Day. She's always very generous on my birthday and Christmas. I've never expected anything from her on Mother's Day.

MIL has never in my 15 years of parenting so much as said I'm a good mother, or said we've raised good kids, or anything like that. When we first had kids we'd host the in laws for the weekend from out of town for Mother's Day, so I'd spend my weekend cooking and cleaning and serving for them, with gifts, flowers, and brunch on Mother's Day. I really didn't expect a card or gift from them on those Mother's Days either, but I have to be honest, it hurts never being told I'm a good mother. Then again they've never said they are happy to have me in the family or anything either. My own mother gushes over DH and treats him like a son.

 

[katie01]

Like I said earlier, my MIL has never given me anything for Mother's Day, & my mother sometimes does. And I'm fine w/ both & don't expect any gifts.

However, I do plan to one day give gifts to our DD & any daughters-in-law once they are mothers because I want to acknowledge them on Mother's Day as well - that they are mothers too, the day is also for them, & I'm proud of them.

In our families, the day is pretty much "Grandmother's Day," which, I admit, I resent a little. When my own daughter is a mother, I want the day to be special for her too & not just be about me.

Which is funny, because there already is a Grandparents' Day, right? I never really understood the whole grandparent day thing when Mother's and Father's Day were already about treating the grandmothers and grandfathers while the moms and dads of young kids on that day are the ones gifting and waiting on the grandparents and not getting to relax or be celebrated on those days themselves. Do they need a "parents currently raising children in their homes" day? Lol

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

My mom would give me something small.

My MIL has never acknowledged that I am even a mother, on Mother's Day.

Mother's day was all about her, all of the time. In fact, she thought that her son, my husband, needed to spend all day with her. And he needed to leave me and our son to spend the day together. This was suggested for years, when our son was young and I was a stay at home Mom. She also didn't understand why I would want to honor my own mom in some way.

And then of course she wanted "Grandparent's Day," to be all about her as well.

 

[amberpi]

The worst is when you're the in law and all the girls get something and you don't have kids because of the MIL's son's fertility issues. Sucks on so many levels.

 

[amberpi]

My mom would give me something small.

My MIL has never acknowledged that I am even a mother, on Mother's Day.

Mother's day was all about her, all of the time. In fact, she thought that her son, my husband, needed to spend all day with her. And he needed to leave me and our son to spend the day together. This was suggested for years, when our son was young and I was a stay at home Mom. She also didn't understand why I would want to honor my own mom in some way.

And then of course she wanted "Grandparent's Day," to be all about her as well.

This story breaks my heart for you. Hopefully you're husband is awesome and sticks up for you

 

[Wendy31]

Which is funny, because there already is a Grandparents' Day, right? I never really understood the whole grandparent day thing when Mother's and Father's Day were already about treating the grandmothers and grandfathers while the moms and dads of young kids on that day are the ones gifting and waiting on the grandparents and not getting to relax or be celebrated on those days themselves. Do they need a "parents currently raising children in their homes" day? Lol

And I don't mind acknowledging them, really! I'm grateful they're both still in our lives.

But it would be nice for my mom to realize that maybe I don't necessarily want to spend Mother's Day eating takeout BBQ & spending all afternoon watching our kids & my sister's kids & then finally leaving w/ Mom saying, "Are y'all leaving so soon?" in order to have time to visit w/ DH's mom where we discuss the latest person who is either sick or has died.

I'd rather go out to eat or on picnic or something, but Mom doesn't want the "hassle" - so my Dad gets takeout BBQ, & we all squeeze into their kitchen while Mom spends most of her time catering to my sister's youngest to the point you can't even really have any kind of conversation.

I sound ungrateful, I know! I do love my mom & DH's mom.

And, to be fair, for the past 2 years, I did kinda put my foot down in a nice way & we took my parents out on Saturday so that I could have Sunday w/ just DH & the kids. This year, though, my mom is already asking, "Y'all are going to be here for Mother's Day, right?"

Again, I don't mind visiting w/ our mothers over Mother's Day weekend. I don't mind giving them cards & gifts at all!

But, w/ my own DD & daughters-in-law, I want to be sure the day is special for them after they're mothers.

And I want to be sure they know I'm proud of them & think they're good mothers & appreciate them. In 17 years, I think my MIL has maybe said once that I'm a good mom. I don't really remember my mom ever saying it out loud to me - but she has gotten me some nice cards.

 

[CdnCarrie]

Not a MIL yet but no I have never received anything from my mother or MIL. Finally got my husband to realize that mother's day doesn't revolve around my MIL.

My daughters don't have any kids. Yet.

My mother and ex-MIL would send me a card and sometimes a plant for my garden or other small gift.

ExH still sends a card even though we've been divorced for over 10 years now.

That is so sweet that your ex does that!

 

[BLAZEY]

I get my mum something on Mother's Day, and DH does for his mum, stepmother and nana. DD gets me something on Mother's Day and signs the cards for Grannie, Nana, Oma and Great Nana.

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

This story breaks my heart for you. Hopefully you're husband is awesome and sticks up for you

My husband decided that Saturday was Mother's day of grown ups, and Mother's Day was all about me, the mother of a small child. When our son was small, it would be a day of no bottles or diapers. Now it is about whatever I want to do. Generally a board game like Catan and meals that I don't have to make. If/when our son is married and has children, Mother's day will be all about daughter in law.

This year will be especially hard. I lost my mom six years ago, this Mother's day.