Family not excited, looking for recommendations

[CAPSLOCK]

Also, would you be comfortable with your son exploring a park totally on his own, even part of the day? I think he'd be at the age to really enjoy that independence if it works for your family. I know lots of people said "split up" already, but in case you're only thinking of "splitting into family units" this might be a way to let him do whatever thrill rides, multiple times if desired - especially if the rest of you are doing "princess-y" things for a few hours. Or even let the 2 older kids go do some rides/things together while you get to watch your little princess' eyes light up doing little princess things. I would imagine they could stand some "no little kid" time together.

 

[kylenne]

LOL, casual ableism. I don't personally know anyone, including myself, who would want to be at WDW that long. And I'm a superfan. I'd say the same thing for any reluctant person being dragged on a ten day WDW slog. Especially if it's five people in a hotel room the whole time, which I think it is? OP's husband has a lot of legit reasons why this is not a great pick for him, so I can't even wrap my brain around staying that long.

And yes, Disney superfans drag a lot of non-Disney people around who don't want to go or probably shouldn't go for many reasons. The pixie dust is strong.

There's a lot in between dragging the whole family for 10 days and not going.

I wasn't calling out your comments but hit dogs will holler so: it was disrespectful and not especially helpful to OP to make wild assumptions about her motives and accuse her of wanting to "torture" her husband based on a couple of forum posts. And that's all I'm saying because turning this into a back and forth is, again, supremely unhelpful. There is also a massive space between 10 days of daily rope drop to fireworks commando touring and 10 days of doing a couple of hours of parks in the evening every other day while spending the majority of your time at the resort, playing golf or being at the pool.

 

[RoseGold]

I wasn't calling out your comments but hit dogs will holler so: it was disrespectful and not especially helpful to OP to make wild assumptions about her motives and accuse her of wanting to "torture" her husband based on a couple of forum posts. And that's all I'm saying because turning this into a back and forth is, again, supremely unhelpful.

I travel to WDW with a permanently wheelchair-bound kid. Call me names if you want, but I know about ableism and boundaries. And I don't think every trip is right for every person.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Or because if someone is planning to sneak something into a park, they put it in the bag first then layer all the mundane things on top to hide it during a physical search...

That's absolutely a consideration on behalf of security I'm sure not just that it was a shape of things.

I'm just sharing how it was for us. From when they were put in the bag, to walking from the parking lot to the entrance (as only MK had trams at that time), to taking other transit like monorail and ferry items had shifted around so I think for us it was just about learning where to ensure the chargers were when we actually went through security.

We didn't technically need to actually take our chargers out of the bag, hold it in our hands and walk through just to not make those particular items go off but I do know other items are better to do that (like umbrellas for one seems to be very common).

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Thank you! Galaxy’s Edge day is definitely for me. I’m a HUGE Star Wars dork. My son is excited and the girls want to dress up since he and I are (Star Wars inspired outfits not legit costumes). With 5 of us likely hitting Smuggler’s Run at least twice, I’m definitely piloting the Falcon! I think my husband will even enjoy it some but even if everyone else stays at the hotel, I’m dressing up and building my light saber, lol!

I was taking of doing the BBB makeover and CRT for little one day one and Galaxy’s edge day two and if they want to sort of wing it from there, I’ll have some fun stuff reserved or we can skip it. Character meals are my plan for both together time and for the little one. Then they can all nap/swim/whatever while I take whoever wants to go for the planned activities.

Galaxy's Edge is a great place to meander around. Ronto wraps are yummy. Oga's we like to go to if you can get a reservation although it is primarily a bar style place for adult beverages there are other things to get too. That place can however be a bit chaotic and crowded with most being standing tables where multiple parties co-mingle but now that you can cancel an ADR up to 2 hours before your time that can give you some flexibility in how everyone is feeling or if people need to skip out so long as one person checks in you're fine and you can adjust down the number of people when you check in on the app.

You're braver than me with the pilot position on Smuggler's Run. Engineer and Gunner are more my pace

I think that's a good plan about the meals with the characters, little bit of time to decompress but enjoy family time.

Your go with the flow take I'm sure is going to do wonders for your trip I'm totally admiring it!

 

[disney-inspired]

Thank you. Yes, he has PTSD. He’s actually a disabled veteran and we will stay at Shades of Green because he thinks it will be more relaxed and a more controlled environment when we are not in the parks. He will qualify for DAS and that will help with some go with the flow stuff. I did ask about him staying home. He said no. He does not remember Disney fondly with a few exceptions, but I do remember him enjoying some of it and saying he wanted to go back (he swears he never said such a thing). He could certainly stay at the hotel if he’s not up for the park or leave early. Some of it is his PTSD though. It’s a crowded place with a bunch of strangers. He wants to be there protect his family if something goes wrong. I know it’s Disney and safe. But that’s part of PTSD This is part of why planning is helpful. I could make sure we’d get several rides and a cool meal before his 4-5 hour tolerance level is up. But I guess that’s not really what they want. I guess I need to readjust what I want and stop equated doing a bunch with fun Disney trip.

I actually think the whole family might like Tom Sawyer Island. Thanks for the suggestion!

I might just suck it up and buy after hours tickets for the whole family knowing it could just be me and the 14 yo. He doesn’t want to commit ahead of time but it will be sold out by the day of. I wonder if extra tickets could be given to strangers we see in the park if they decide not to go?

Is he a morning person? I find if you can get in at early entry, you can enjoy the parks when it's quieter, take a midday break and then return in the evening, especially during Extended Evening Hours.

Some of my favorite quiet spots are:

• Epcot
• Japan Pavilion - if you go up toward Katsura Grill, there is seating and very relaxing waterfall.
• China Pavilion
• Canada Pavilion - near waterfalls
• Living with the Land

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Yeah, I was just going to comment on the same thing. I know that your husband wants some "non-park days," but maybe consider taking one of those days for yourself and plan your own ideal day while Dad watches the kids.

I would recommend talking to your husband (and to some extent the older kids) and come to an agreement on ground rules that everyone can agree to for the trip - i.e. we do this much planning and do this much "on the fly," these are the must-dos, how much "I don't want to do this, but I won't complain because someone else does" you are asking for, etc.

Also, are you comfortable letting your oldest (or the older two together) do some things on their own? That might get them excited if they can do their own research and come up with their own plans for their time.

Just a few more suggestions! Good luck!

I completely agree! Even just a bit of time to get in something you're really wanting and others may not is something

I took on the vast majority of our trip for my husband and I in 2017 and when it came time for us to come back in 2022 for a wedding I asked him for more help. He had a lot of input in prior trips but I really was the one to take on all the ins and outs of planning. And just knowing those expectations of what types of activities are more firm and what activities are play by ear can be so important.

A great suggestion about letting the kids (at least the two eldest like you said) go off on their own so long as they are all okay with it.

 

[Darth Insidious]

Ahhh. Yeah, I'm actually with him on "no parks arrival day," though I know others are into it. For us, we flew, even a short 3-hr flight from NC. We woke up at like 4am to go to the airport, saying we could sleep on the flight. We checked into Wilderness Lodge and went on to AK, leaving at dinner time. But even that shortened day, after only a 3-hr flight, had us dragging. The next day we just didn't have the strength to make it from Space Mtn to Big Thunder Mtn. I've got a picture of everybody slumped in a heap in Liberty Square.

And then departure day, we visited the park for a half day before flying out, but of course it has you worrying about timing and making sure you'll get to your plane on time.

But as long as the party is comfortable splitting up, the "interior" non-park days could be park days for some.

Thank you. I will remember that if I get tempted for more than perhaps Chef Mickeys on arrival day. Not going to lie, I was considering dinner and Fantasmic or something.

 

[Darth Insidious]

Believe me, I understand. Unfortunately there is a lot of casual ableism on these boards sometimes. Mostly unintentional, because I absolutely believe that people generally mean well, but sometimes there is an air of "if you can't do things exactly like an abled person could then don't bother to go" and a lack of understanding about invisible disabilities as well. We just have to do a little more planning than most, and it means listening to our bodies and being flexible enough to drop a planned activity if we are feeling overwhelmed.

If you are open to moving your dates, early May is great, the weather is nice and crowd levels are still fairly low because spring break is over but school is not quite out yet. I find routine is very important to keep stress levels down. I still practice the same mindfulness exercises that I do at home. Your plan to go slower and over a longer period is a solid one I think. 10 days sounds like a long time but our upcoming trip is 11 and we only plan on rope dropping a couple of days, taking advantage of afternoon LL stacking and Extended Evening Hours since we will be at the Poly is going to be our strategy. Crowds are a big anxiety trigger for my partner but she has a great time because we take it easy and know how to avoid them. In the past that meant things like dessert parties for the fireworks. I agree with PPs that if you can afford to do so a VIP tour sounds like it would be a great fit for your family, and booking one would give you access to DSS assistance. I would explain the situation to them at the time of booking. I would also strongly recommend you skip rope dropping entirely, those crowds are insane now.

Quieter areas in the parks are important for breaks even during minimal park time. If push comes to shove, don't be afraid to go to First Aid. They have quiet, dimly lit spaces to sit if you need them and I have used them when overdoing it in the past, the nurses are always very accommodating. Disney actually publishes a guide to quieter areas in the parks though, it can be downloaded here: https://disneyworld.disney.go.com/guest-services/cognitive-disabilities-services/
There is also a guide to attractions on that page, explaining what kind of stimuli are involved in different ones (such as loud noises, sudden drops, etc) though it's a bit outdated.

You mentioned your kids and World Showcase, I would strongly advise to avoid it Fri-Sun as the locals are out in force during festivals (which is like all the time now) and this is peak "Drunkcot" time with crowds and rowdy guests. Linger after the nighttime shows to let the crowds thin out before leaving. In general keeping a slower pace and zigging while others are zagging is key. Also agree to make sure your needs are being met as well.

Thank you so much! I’m bookmarking that link you provided.

He is insistent the kids not miss more than a couple days of school so that leaves busy weeks or summer and they all say no to summer. We are from the north and April was way too hot for us, lol.

I felt like planning helps avoid some of the crowds. I think I just need to keep it to myself. I literally printed up an itinerary for each day last time. I think I’ll say “today we are going to Magic Kingdom and eating at the castle, who wants to come?” And not tell them I also set up pre-DAS and genie plus returns for the left or right half of the park that may or may not work out. Or “do you guys want to stay for the fireworks dessert party?”

I would find that easier to swallow if I could transfer stuff like that to someone in the parks if they don’t want to do it. I’ll look into that. And strongly consider the VIP tour. I can come up with the money. It’s more that it’s so much, I feel like that should go toward the next car or college or something. But we don’t get out much due to his PTSD and vacations are important too. The next one after Disney will be a beach. Last one was a beach (only vacation since Disney in 2017).

 

[Darth Insidious]

Yeah, I was just going to comment on the same thing. I know that your husband wants some "non-park days," but maybe consider taking one of those days for yourself and plan your own ideal day while Dad watches the kids.

I would recommend talking to your husband (and to some extent the older kids) and come to an agreement on ground rules that everyone can agree to for the trip - i.e. we do this much planning and do this much "on the fly," these are the must-dos, how much "I don't want to do this, but I won't complain because someone else does" you are asking for, etc.

Also, are you comfortable letting your oldest (or the older two together) do some things on their own? That might get them excited if they can do their own research and come up with their own plans for their time.

Just a few more suggestions! Good luck!

Thank you!

I would be fine with them going off on their own at an after hours event. Probably for a while during regular park time. The oldest can be a bit immature and gets on his sister’s nerves sometimes but I think they’d have fun. A lot can change in the next year but I probably would set them loose on Disney Springs but would say they could browse a store on their own and return to me outside.

 

[Darth Insidious]

Also, would you be comfortable with your son exploring a park totally on his own, even part of the day? I think he'd be at the age to really enjoy that independence if it works for your family. I know lots of people said "split up" already, but in case you're only thinking of "splitting into family units" this might be a way to let him do whatever thrill rides, multiple times if desired - especially if the rest of you are doing "princess-y" things for a few hours. Or even let the 2 older kids go do some rides/things together while you get to watch your little princess' eyes light up doing little princess things. I would imagine they could stand some "no little kid" time together.

Good suggestions. Thank you!

 

[Darth Insidious]

Galaxy's Edge is a great place to meander around. Ronto wraps are yummy. Oga's we like to go to if you can get a reservation although it is primarily a bar style place for adult beverages there are other things to get too. That place can however be a bit chaotic and crowded with most being standing tables where multiple parties co-mingle but now that you can cancel an ADR up to 2 hours before your time that can give you some flexibility in how everyone is feeling or if people need to skip out so long as one person checks in you're fine and you can adjust down the number of people when you check in on the app.

You're braver than me with the pilot position on Smuggler's Run. Engineer and Gunner are more my pace

I think that's a good plan about the meals with the characters, little bit of time to decompress but enjoy family time.

Your go with the flow take I'm sure is going to do wonders for your trip I'm totally admiring it!

I’m sure I will be a truly terrible pilot but I don’t care, lol. I was actually thinking of a morning Oga’s reservation. Maybe a little less rowdy then but get to check it out? We can all enjoy a few mock tails although I doubt we’d stay long.

 

[Darth Insidious]

Is he a morning person? I find if you can get in at early entry, you can enjoy the parks when it's quieter, take a midday break and then return in the evening, especially during Extended Evening Hours.

Some of my favorite quiet spots are:

• Epcot
• Japan Pavilion - if you go up toward Katsura Grill, there is seating and very relaxing waterfall.
• China Pavilion
• Canada Pavilion - near waterfalls
• Living with the Land

Thank you. I’ll save that list of quiet spots.

Oddly, he’s a morning person but despised rope drop. He’s up at 4 or 5am. I think it was the rushed feeling.

His ideal Disney day is get up, have a casual breakfast, pick a park, show up when you get around to it, ride some rides, eat a nice meal, go back to hotel. And he really enjoyed the Epcot fireworks cruise so I’ll book that for him again.

 

[Darth Insidious]

I completely agree! Even just a bit of time to get in something you're really wanting and others may not is something

I took on the vast majority of our trip for my husband and I in 2017 and when it came time for us to come back in 2022 for a wedding I asked him for more help. He had a lot of input in prior trips but I really was the one to take on all the ins and outs of planning. And just knowing those expectations of what types of activities are more firm and what activities are play by ear can be so important.

A great suggestion about letting the kids (at least the two eldest like you said) go off on their own so long as they are all okay with it.

Thanks. He has very little interest in planning but he was very open about how he wants to do things (no rope drop, shorter days in the parks with off days too, hence the choice of longer stay). He’d rather break Epcot into two very not rushed days where you stay 4 hours each than one long day,

You make a good point about letting them know what’s firm and not. Perhaps we have a reservation for dinner here (fairly firm but I’ll eat the cancellation fee if I have to) or after hours tickets but maybe say I stacked the genie rides if you guys want to come. If not, have fun taking in the ambience and shopping or snacks while son and I hit the rides.

 

[blistex]

I do remember him enjoying some of it and saying he wanted to go back (he swears he never said such a thing

Oh lord, are we married to the same guy? This is exactly what is happening to us now for our trip next week.

My husband is not a vet but feels similarly to yours as described, he prefers to meander and not be rushed and not be packed in like sardines. We were surprised to find what actually worked best for us is staying at an Epcot resort hotel (we originally stayed in places like the cabins for privacy/down time). The proximity of the hotel to everything means it feels really easy for some of your party to decide they want to go to the park while the others lounge. The balconies are a great place to relax privately away from the crowds. And my husband absolutely loves walking around the largely empty World Showcase in the mornings before most things are open down that way. We often head to the parks early (and because we're close I could say, I am leaving at X time just join us when you're ready), spend 2-3 hours, head back to the hotel for down time, go back to the park (or a different park!), back to the room, back to the park, etc. Breaking it up in smaller chunks is more enjoyable for both my husband and our younger kids and if I'm super not ready to leave no one particularly minds if I stay an extra hour.

Also make sure to check out things like others have suggested - off the beaten path, riding the monorail, the little circus area by the Dumbo ride, gardens. All hidden gems that are less crowded and make it more magical for those who can't handle the sardine feeling.

 

[Darth Insidious]

LOL, casual ableism. I don't personally know anyone, including myself, who would want to be at WDW that long. And I'm a superfan. I'd say the same thing for any reluctant person being dragged on a ten day WDW slog. Especially if it's five people in a hotel room the whole time, which I think it is? OP's husband has a lot of legit reasons why this is not a great pick for him, so I can't even wrap my brain around staying that long.

And yes, Disney superfans drag a lot of non-Disney people around who don't want to go or probably shouldn't go for many reasons. The pixie dust is strong.

There's a lot in between dragging the whole family for 10 days and not going.

I don’t really want to debate but in the event you’re interested in why the comments might be off-putting to some:

You presented it like you know my disabled husband’s needs better than me or most importantly even himself. I clearly said the ten days is his request. He WANTS to go but take it slow. Short days with breaks in between. He’d rather go to dinner and Fantasmic one day and come back to HS on two other short days than do one long day. He wants to be there and watch the youngest meet princesses and enjoy her makeover. He wants to take our older daughter shopping at World Showcase and Disney springs. On two separate days with a break in between. You say just do it all in two days and be done. That would be miserable for him.

Even when I further explained you are still criticizing the length of stay even now. I’m not sure why? He’s a grown man. I’m not dragging him anywhere! You’re acting like he’s a child with no choice just because he lives with a disability.

You definitely made me feel terrible implying I don’t care or am torturing my husband. He’s a disabled vet. He wants to take his family to Disney World and manage his disability as well as he can. The ableism comments come from the assumption that a disabled vet can’t/shouldn’t even try WHEN HE WANTS TO. Just because he’s not excited about it doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to do it for the family.

If you want to stand up for disabled vets, reach out to your Congressmen. Demand better funding for the VA. Trying to make their spouses feel bad for trying to figure out the best way to accommodate his needs during the trip is not the way to support our veterans. And don’t treat them like incompetent children. This man went to war three times for our country. He can make a decision whether or not he wants to go to Disney World!

 

[RoseGold]

Just because he’s not excited about it doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to do it for the family.

Great, go on a trip your husband is "not excited" about for 10 days then. It's your 8K and your family.

I'd rather split the difference and go to the beach for half in circumstances like this.

You are cramming five humans including two teenagers in a small room for 10 days in one of the most crowded, loud, overwhelming environments on earth, which you know is challenging for your husband. Even the pools at Disney are a lot. That's your decision, but it isn't one I would make.

There is a lot of middle ground here, like him leaving early, or making the trip shorter, or going somewhere else for half of it, or staying in a 2BR at the Wyndham with the lazy river, or going with your friend instead, or a million other choices. It's not like the choices are 10 days or 0.

 

[Darth Insidious]

Oh lord, are we married to the same guy? This is exactly what is happening to us now for our trip next week.

My husband is not a vet but feels similarly to yours as described, he prefers to meander and not be rushed and not be packed in like sardines. We were surprised to find what actually worked best for us is staying at an Epcot resort hotel (we originally stayed in places like the cabins for privacy/down time). The proximity of the hotel to everything means it feels really easy for some of your party to decide they want to go to the park while the others lounge. The balconies are a great place to relax privately away from the crowds. And my husband absolutely loves walking around the largely empty World Showcase in the mornings before most things are open down that way. We often head to the parks early (and because we're close I could say, I am leaving at X time just join us when you're ready), spend 2-3 hours, head back to the hotel for down time, go back to the park (or a different park!), back to the room, back to the park, etc. Breaking it up in smaller chunks is more enjoyable for both my husband and our younger kids and if I'm super not ready to leave no one particularly minds if I stay an extra hour.

Also make sure to check out things like others have suggested - off the beaten path, riding the monorail, the little circus area by the Dumbo ride, gardens. All hidden gems that are less crowded and make it more magical for those who can't handle the sardine feeling.

Thank you! I definitely want to take the time to see the garden maze at UK pavilion and stuff like that this time.

It’s funny because the cabins were the other idea. I do think boardwalk or even monorail hotels for convenience could be better, but I think he has the mindset that the military hotel is safer and more calm and he really wants to stay there. It’s also way cheaper and we can spread out in a two room suite for less than cramming all 5 of us in a one bedroom at the Poly. That would definitely drive him (and really all of us) nuts!

Last time we did SSR and he liked it as a respite from the noise and crowds but it definitely wasn’t conveniently located!

 

[rlk]

In 2019, my husband and I met a Cm who told us how he works to help guests with PTSD minimize their stress while visiting the parks. I believe you can call Disability Services - at 407-560-2547. You can also email @ disabilityservices@disneyparks.com. I don't know if this would be helpful to you, but it seems to be a great resource.

 

[TheGingerMermaid]

I also have a disabled vet husband. Splitting up is the way to go. I go early with some kids that choose and are LETS GO like me, some kids choose to stay behind and sleep in and take a way slower pace with dad. We meet up in the afternoon. Everyone is much happier this way. He also enjoyed SOG because it was so quiet and spacious.