Grandparents and bath time ...

[BadgerGirl84]

"Attachment parenting" is a popular parenting method right now...co-sleeping, "wearing" the baby in the carrier instead of using a stroller, extended breastfeeding. I often see "attachment parenting" advocates recommend bathing with your kids in moms groups that I'm in on Facebook.

I have a baby and a toddler. Nooooo thank you. My kiddos are in the tub, I'm sitting on the bath mat supervising play time and washing hair. I think it's really odd that she was going to bathe with her toddler at YOUR house (like I said, bathing with your kids is not my cup of tea, but whatever floats your boat I guess...) and even more odd that she thought you would want to hop in the tub in your birthday suit to bathe with your grandkid.

 

[Pugsly]

"Attachment parenting" is a popular parenting method right now...co-sleeping, "wearing" the baby in the carrier instead of using a stroller, extended breastfeeding. I often see "attachment parenting" advocates recommend bathing with your kids in moms groups that I'm in on Facebook.

I have a baby and a toddler. Nooooo thank you. My kiddos are in the tub, I'm sitting on the bath mat supervising play time and washing hair. I think it's really odd that she was going to bathe with her toddler at YOUR house (like I said, bathing with your kids is not my cup of tea, but whatever floats your boat I guess...) and even more odd that she thought you would want to hop in the tub in your birthday suit to bathe with your grandkid.

Yes, yes, and yes -- they are doing all of these!!!! I have often wondered how independent a child can possibly be with this method.

I wasn't so taken aback by her wanting to bathe the baby at our house. She's come over several times to soak in our jacuzzi tub since she's very tall, has back problems and the tubs at their house are on the smaller side so she can't sink down into them. No problem there. Just didn't know what to make of being asked to bathe with my grandchild.

But thanks for putting a name to what they're doing!

 

[4nana]

To each his own -13 sweet grands here, ages 8-28yo . I did child care daily for all my local grands until they were 3 or 4yo. Have given and helped with many of their baths, never considered having a bath with any of them.

 

[wenrob]

I have showered with my daughters and DH has showered with my son when they were younger, usually in the interest of time. On vacation, one shower, I grab a kid and shower, DH grabs a kid and showers or we all had to be somewhere and we've run out of time sort of thing. Never bathed with them just because I'm not a fan of baths.

I know my MIL and mom both would bath/shower with oldest DD when she would spend the night with them. Never thought anything of it but I would never thing to ask them to shower with her, especially when I'm over visiting, that just seems like an awkward situation. Not so much that they were bathing with my kid but that they were bathing while I was making small talk in the front room, lol.

On the subject of bathing your kid while visiting I remember doing that with oldest DD at my MIL, sister's and grandmother's houses even though it was typically only ten, fifteen minutes from my house. Visits to these houses pretty much insured a filthy kid (especially at my grandma's house) at the end of the evening. We tended to stay later than bed time and it was just easier to give a quick bath, put on jammies and be able to deposit her right into bed when we got home.

 

[MommyMK]

I have bathed and showered with both my kids and still do with my youngest. I would never ask a grandparent to do this.

On vacation my in laws have shared the giant jacuzzi tub with my kids, but with everyone in bathing suits.

 

[Teresa Pitman]

I always bathed with my kids when they were babies/toddlers, and my daughter-in-law has bathed with her babies here (they only have a shower at their house, so she likes to do the bath thing here when they are over). No big deal. Don't do it if you don't want to, but some little ones are happier if you are in the tub with them (and it's safer with the babies who are still unsteady sitting up).

 

[manning]

We decided to have the kids over for dinner last night on a whim (DH and I were busy all day, so there was no 'traditional' Mother's Day get together per se). Dinner coincided with our 1 1/2 year old granddaughter's bedtime, so they brought her PJs and planned to bathe her at our house before bedtime.

My step-daughter asked me if I would like to bathe my granddaughter since her husband thought this would be something his mom would enjoy. I said I'd be happy to watch the first time out and help since it had been so long since I'd bathed a toddler and I didn't know what her bath time ritual looked like (are we washing her hair? Does she freak out over having water poured over her head? What have they found that works best for baby?)

Turns out, she bathes with the baby and was asking if I'd like to do that (not just sit outside the tub and bathe her).

Is this something new in parenting - bathing with your child?

Would you, as a grandparent, bathe with your grandchild?

Me personally, I am not comfortable doing that. I would relish bath-time with her if it involved me outside the tub and her in. Just curious if I'm just out of touch here.

To put it mildly....WEIRD

 

[Meriweather]

I never bathed with my children and I don't with DGD (2 1/2) but my son and daughter in law do. I think they think it is easier.

 

[mnrose]

Gross...as both a parent and grandparent. Not because of nudity (though not sure grandparent nudity is something either side would want their grandchildren seeing nor would I), but strictly sanitary reasons. There was a thread before about bathing children together and that skeeves me out. To me bath water is for one person only and to relax in more than clean other than for very small babies/toddlers. YMMV

You are taking me back to my childhood. I grew up on a farm where both the well and the septic system were a bit suspect...and we couldn't run a lot of water. My mother would fill the tub ONCE and we'd all bathe in the same water....my two oldest brothers, then my sister and I, then the next two, and then the last two. We thought nothing of it. It's just what we did. Would I do that now? Not on a bet, but we had very limited water and that was by far the most efficient way to do it.

 

[bookgirl]

My nephews (twins) adored the shower when they were toddlers and would strip down and get in with whoever was there including me.

It was fine for a brief time but they talked early and by 2 1/2 they were very verbal and could have conversations. They also were observant and began to compare body parts, and I didn't want to have those conversations while we were showering. After that I showered while they napped. They still enjoyed having people to talk with them while they bathed until they were 8 or 9 but I was always on the outside of the tub.

What's funny is that I was always very frank with them and answered any questions honestly, but it was something about me being naked while they wanted to talk that weirded me out.

 

[BadgerGirl84]

Yes, yes, and yes -- they are doing all of these!!!! I have often wondered how independent a child can possibly be with this method.

I wasn't so taken aback by her wanting to bathe the baby at our house. She's come over several times to soak in our jacuzzi tub since she's very tall, has back problems and the tubs at their house are on the smaller side so she can't sink down into them. No problem there. Just didn't know what to make of being asked to bathe with my grandchild.

But thanks for putting a name to what they're doing!

Glad I could help! Don't be surprised if their discipline techniques are a bit different than what you may be used to. The "attachment parenting" advocates I know think timeouts are too harsh and create anxiety and depression. Yep. Not my parenting style to say the least, but it's interesting...

 

[L&Lfan]

I took a few showers with my Dad but all of them before I was school age.

 

[Pugsly]

Glad I could help! Don't be surprised if their discipline techniques are a bit different than what you may be used to. The "attachment parenting" advocates I know think timeouts are too harsh and create anxiety and depression. Yep. Not my parenting style to say the least, but it's interesting...

Oh I have no doubt about this. They already don't want to use the word "no" with her. Instead, they make a loud, annoying sound that alerts her to stop what she's doing.

Didn't keep her from picking up that word though and it seems to be one of her favorites. I'm guessing she picked it up at day care.

 

[wishesuponastar]

When my daughters were infants, I bathed them in a portable infant tub. When they could sit up by themselves, I used the kitchen sink for them.

 

[Rhie]

I think this is one of those situations where there are no wrong answers. If you aren't personally comfortable with it, that's completely fine. No one can tell you what is best for you to do with your body. Personally, I don't have a problem with it. I know my parents did when I was really, really young. Like 1-2. I know family bathing is more of a custom in Asia than it is here, due to many reasons. I don't think seeing naked people is a big deal. I've been to all-ages swimming holes that are bathing suit optional, and I was quite comfortable. But, like I said, this is entirely up to you and your comfort level. And, no matter what, have fun with your grandkids!

 

[Turn the Page]

I often bathed with DD when she was 1-2 years old. Actually, we generally showered though I did learn early it is best to sit down. Wet soapy babies are slippery. My mom also showered with DD. I didn't ask her to, she just did. It wasn't considered odd in my family but I also know people who would consider it dirty or weird. To each their own. I see nothing wrong with it at all.

ETA: I am definitely NOT a proponent of attachment parenting either.

Also, I used the baby bath tub exactly once. Some people love them, I thought it was a gigantic pain in the neck. I found showering with DD to be a lot easier at that age. Plus, we got to play in the water together.

 

[BadgerGirl84]

Oh I have no doubt about this. They already don't want to use the word "no" with her. Instead, they make a loud, annoying sound that alerts her to stop what she's doing.

Didn't keep her from picking up that word though and it seems to be one of her favorites. I'm guessing she picked it up at day care.

Oh my. That could be a post all on its own!!

 

[ronandannette]

It never once occurred to me to share a bath with our DS when he was little. And since I did most of the child care, I'm pretty sure it never occurred to DH either. If any one of our parents had suggested doing it with him, I'd have found that totally weird. (DS was never a major fan of being in the water anyway - baths were a pretty utilitarian activity, not "bonding" time.)

 

[IDoDis]

I showered with my kids when they were real little, usually both kids at the same time. It saved a lot of time and water. I would not bathe with them though. Little ones who are not potty trained will always pee in the water --always! No thanks! Also sitting in a tub is a little too close.

 

[cjbcam]

I would bathe with my first two DD when they couldn't sit up if I didn't have their baby tub. I have damaged nerves in my back and we had a really deep tub at the time. It was too painful to lean over and try to bathe them. Once we had the baby tub there was no need to so my other two I never did.
I would never expect the grandparents to bathe with them.