Have you ever banned someone from your house?

[luvsJack]

Dd had two friends that were sisters. Every time Dd included them in slumber parties, drama started. Invariably they would get half the girls fighting with the other half.

I wasn’t sure what or who was starting it, until one of them slipped up and said something within earshot. After that night, I took them home and told Dd “never again”. Dd had many slumber parties after that and never had any more trouble.

 

[MrsJackSparrow4Life]

My sister and a cousin by marriage. Neither one is allowed to know where I live or what my phone number is. Both are drug addict, alcoholics that are in and out of jail all the time. They have both threatened myself and my mother so they are completely cut off.

 

[Boardwalk Jedi]

Yes. She jumped on it and the frame broke

Our own kid broke a bed frame...in our house, so we can't ban him as he's still a minor.

 

[ForMyBoys]

Luckily I've never had to ban anyone.

When DS was 10-11, he had a friend down the street who was a girl. We had a "policy" that when the kids' friends were over, they were ours, so we would take the kids out to dinner, on shopping trips, etc. with us. One time, this girl was with us and she was just chatting in the back seat of the car. She said her mother told her to "get everything you can out of guys as long as you can." Seriously -- the girl couldn't have been 11 (divorced parents--shocker).

It was at that point when we got home that I had to tell DS about being a guy in the world and that he was NEVER to be alone with her, and that she wasn't welcome in our home any more. He wasn't that chuffed, though.

Am I missing something in this story? I'm not understanding why she was banned simply for repeating what her mom said. If she planned to follow the advice I assume she would have kept it to herself. Plus she was 11, did she even understand what she was saying?

 

[ronandannette]

No need to ban anyone. Most guests refrain from returning of their own accord after the initial visit.

Ha! That's funny Red! Perhaps the staff needs a little coaching in gracious hospitality? Maybe they could start by cracking a smile once in a while. Or maybe in this picture they're just watching Cousin Mabel arrive with an unwelcome noodle salad?

As for me, I've never banned anyone nor can I even imagine doing so but apparently a DIS'er recently banned herself due to my draconian policies for house guests. That'll teach me!

 

[bianca]

Only once have I banned someone. A short backstory. My husband's niece married this guy she met online from Jordan. He moves to US, and she invites everyone over for Thanksgiving dinner to meet him. First, he insists that he and my husband eat first while the women serve them ..... that didn't happen. Then, after dinner, there was a conversation going on between my husband and new guy, whereupon I interjected a comment. I was told I was not allowed to speak in "his" home. We left within a few minutes, as he obviously has different rules. Fast forward a few months and niece/husband drop by unexpectedly at our house to visit grandma who is staying with us. I told niece she is welcome to visit, but her husband is not allowed in our home. She stayed for a few minutes while he sat outside in the car. A few months later he went back to Jordan after she found him cheating on her. To this day, I don't know if they're even divorced, as she couldn't find him once he went back to Jordan!

 

[mumto3girls]

My husband had a friend with really bad boundaries. I put up with him for years before finally saying I was done and he was not allowed in my home and I would no longer voluntarily be around him. Unfortunately by then he was very much a part of my husband’s extended family so I do still see him from time to time. He was even a pallbearer at FIL’s funeral. I went but avoided him completely.

 

[LongLiveRafiki]

An old roommate who was once a very good friend.

We ended up kicking him out for a multitude of reasons (he indicated that he planned on living with us pretty much forever, he invited shady people over, left the door unlocked when we had a toddler in a neighborhood where random strangers had a habit of walking in and claiming they knew the people who lived there, he took advantage of our kindness financially, etc). Well, after he moved, we stopped by his apt to check on a loan I stupidly co-signed for him to get him out of our house (that he wasn't paying back on time) and he took one of the crutches I was using to stand and tried to hit me with it. He did eventually pay off the loan, but he will forever be banned from my home. DH agreed and we haven't spoken to him in years, despite his attempts to call and message us.

 

[mom2rtk]

My boys had a friend who used the N word. Actually yelled it outside in our yard. I sent him home and explained to his mother why he wasn't welcome back. She sent me a note a few days later explaining that they were choosing to believe him when he said he didn't do it. We were done.

 

[Disney1fan2002]

I have kicked people out of my house, specifically 2 of my brothers(at different times) who asked to stay with me until they got on their feet. They were not doing much to have that happen, so so much times goes by and my hospitality has been depleted. I have never banned anyone.

A little OT, but my sister banned certain people from her funeral. We laugh about it, because if you knew my sister, she could hold a grudge. Sadly, she took her own life, but made sure she had most of her arrangements taken care of. She had a long list of names that she didn't want at her funeral. At the time, we thought it was very awkward. We would joke, "do we ID people at the door?" Her son, who was her legal next of kin because she was divorced, just made her arrangements private. Family only. The list was really no surprise. LOL. Of course she would have a list.

 

[hereyago]

Years ago, I actually had in my visitation agreement that my soon to be ex husband girlfriend wasn't allowed on my.property after some incidents. They only lasted a year.

Then my aunt who I banned from my life right after my mom passed almost 5 years ago, actually posted in a public post today wishing me happy Mother's day that I made 10 years ago.

My ex husband and his family would be banned if they knew where DD,DGD and I live now.

 

[PollyannaMom]

When DS was 10-11, he had a friend down the street who was a girl. We had a "policy" that when the kids' friends were over, they were ours, so we would take the kids out to dinner, on shopping trips, etc. with us. One time, this girl was with us and she was just chatting in the back seat of the car. She said her mother told her to "get everything you can out of guys as long as you can."...

Wow! Some people are definitely "takers". It's awful that they instill it in their children.

Dd had two friends that were sisters. Every time Dd included them in slumber parties, drama started. Invariably they would get half the girls fighting with the other half...

I get it. DS has two friends who are cousins. Both are great kids individually, but they tended to have a rather "adventuresome" dynamic together when they were younger. Things with the whole group would just get out of hand more quickly than usual. They weren't banned, but whenever they were were both over at the same time, I did make sure to find things to do near where the kids were playing.

My boys had a friend who used the N word. Actually yelled it outside in our yard. I sent him home and explained to his mother why he wasn't welcome back. She sent me a note a few days later explaining that they were choosing to believe him when he said he didn't do it. We were done.

I might have given the "we don't talk like that here" lecture and one second chance, but that letter was weird!

 

[mom2rtk]

I might have given the "we don't talk like that here" lecture and one second chance, but that letter was weird!

Once the parent "chooses" not to believe the story, I'm out.

 

[avengerspoilerer]

My wife’s sister is a staunch anti-vaxxer. She is not welcome in our home ever.

 

[Floridaman999]

My distant neighbor would come over and talk about all the hot button issues he'd post online for reactions. My wife and I finally had to send him on his way. He's probably busy posting hot button issues as we speak.

 

[lovesmurfs]

Am I missing something in this story? I'm not understanding why she was banned simply for repeating what her mom said. If she planned to follow the advice I assume she would have kept it to herself. Plus she was 11, did she even understand what she was saying?

There had also been another incident (actually with her father) that I can't recall the specifics of, but all I can remember is that I called our homeowner's insurer to increase our liability. This was the second straw. I seem to remember her telling her father that she fell while she was playing at our house, which was untrue. Her statement in the car then made me cut all ties.

And, when I asked, she clearly knew what she was saying.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Seriously -- the girl couldn't have been 11 (divorced parents--shocker).

Seriously? Because no sane man would stay with a woman like that.

This is just how I read it..Your comment made it sound like of course the behavior exhibited was because the parents were divorced. People (not just parents) are capable of teaching horrible things to other people, not just divorced parents I didn't see the point of even mentioning divorced parents and adding in shocker to boot.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Our own kid broke a bed frame...in our house, so we can't ban him as he's still a minor.

lol my sister did that to my bed! It was the wood slats under the bed that she broke really. Luckily easily fixed.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Like another person phrased it it's not so much I've banned someone (yet) it's that I've stopped inviting certain people over.

I haven't run into the dog situation yet with someone. I would hope that someone would ask first. I think TBH I probably would have to turn someone away from our house if they had a dog with them. I wouldn't want the dog to be in the car the whole time, our backyard is not fenced and tethering up a dog for hours is not my idea of fair and while my cat doesn't seem to mind that barking from neighbors dogs there's never been one in the house. I'm not going to press that with my cat in particular. I wouldn't ban the person though. It would be more like you can come over so long as your dog(s) are not with you (at all).

 

[arminnie]

My husband's 28 year old son. He had multiple chances. He is now DEAD to me. I honestly do not care if he is dead or alive just as long as I never have to see him again. He's an alcoholic thief. Of course my DH still loves his son. But my DH totally understands where I am coming from on this.