HELP!!! MIL wants to take my DC's to WDW alone!!!!

[Beth E. (NJ)]

I feel your pain! My MIL is wonderful to us and to our kids, but she can take over. I would have had to say no to her in that situation.

Actually my immediate family has never gone to WDW with anyone else. I'm a bit of a commando when it comes to WDW and I'm not sure my touring style would suit the rest of the family.

Please keep us posted on how it turns out.

 

[Oceana]

LOL seriously a tradition? for how many years? Did your DH go for the 1st time with his grandmother for his 5th birthday? and his mother and her mother? really now its been open how many years to make it a tradition?
\
sorry I guess you can tell I dont have a good relationship with my MIL

anyhow I say you tell her what you said here... be as nice as you can. Get DH to step up and make it a family trip... invite her if you choose

julie

 

[MomNeedsVacay]

Okay...thanks to you all I got the courage to casually mention to my MIL that I had ordered the WDW vacation DVD. She goes," Oh- why would you do that?" I said, "WEll, the girls can't seem to get enough of Disney movies... Some friends just got back and told me how great it was...I haven't been in years and I'd really like to plan a trip for next Spring..."
DEAD SILENCE:
"OH......well.... I don't think they are going to like it at all until they are at least five..." MORE SILENCE....
I say, "WEll--I don't think we can hold out that long."
She goes, " You know...I was thinking that your mother may get jealous if I take the girls by myself...so I was going to invite her along so BOTH Grandmas will be there for the 1st special trip."

So...I'm thinking What the hell.....! "Why don't we ALL go on one huge family trip to celebrate dh's graduation from lawschool... MIL,FIL, my immediate fam, DSil, my DMom and DDad?????" She actually said, "Okay!"
Now I'm thinking ....what the HECK have I gotten myself INTO???????????????

 

[ilovejack02]

Okay...thanks to you all I got the courage to casually mention to my MIL that I had ordered the WDW vacation DVD. She goes," Oh- why would you do that?" I said, "WEll, the girls can't seem to get enough of Disney movies... Some friends just got back and told me how great it was...I haven't been in years and I'd really like to plan a trip for next Spring..."
DEAD SILENCE:
"OH......well.... I don't think they are going to like it at all until they are at least five..." MORE SILENCE....
I say, "WEll--I don't think we can hold out that long."
She goes, " You know...I was thinking that your mother may get jealous if I take the girls by myself...so I was going to invite her along so BOTH Grandmas will be there for the 1st special trip."

So...I'm thinking What the hell.....! "Why don't we ALL go on one huge family trip to celebrate dh's graduation from lawschool... MIL,FIL, my immediate fam, DSil, my DMom and DDad?????" She actually said, "Okay!"
Now I'm thinking ....what the HECK have I gotten myself INTO???????????????

You are a better girl than me, Id leave every one of those folks home.

 

[fan_of_small_world]

You must have been psychic when you chose you're screen name, because you are REALLY going to need a vacay after being in WDW with the whole gang!

Here's my advice...go ahead and make your plans with the gang. SECRETLY, though, plan to either arrive a couple of days ahead of everyone else, or stay a couple of extra days after they all leave. That will give you and your DH some time to enjoy your daughters' experience by yourselves. Just make sure nobody else knows!

 

[bumbershoot]

LOL seriously a tradition? for how many years? Did your DH go for the 1st time with his grandmother for his 5th birthday? and his mother and her mother? really now its been open how many years to make it a tradition?

Ha ha, that's what I was wondering!

My MIL, *after* we had officially and legally named DS, cried and told us it was a "tradition" to name sons after their grandfathers, in her husband's family. I asked FIL, and he laughed. He *told* MIL that he named my hubby after his own father, but in reality he had named DH after his good drinking buddy, who MIL hated, who just happened to have the same name as FIL's dad.

And before that, this "tradition" had only been done ONE previous generation...now that FIL is gone, I have the geneology info, and I know this to be true!


I'm glad that you, the OP, have talked to your MIL. I'm glad that she could partially listen.

If I were you, I'd be making a FAST trip with just the four of you to Disney NOW.

Heck, if you want to stick with the letter of the agreement, why not go to DisneyLAND now, and then they can be part of the first WDW trip. But you guys would get the first Disney.


My son went to DL first at around 1.5, and the second time around 2.5. We all had a great time his first trip, though he doesn't remember it. And just b/c HE doesn't remember it, it doesn't matter, because WE do!!! His second trip he totally remembers (just last night he and DH were playing Disneyland, and he was "pointing out" things from the rides he went on, solely from memory), though it was 3/4 of a year ago!

 

[TBGOES2DISNEY]

Why do MILs think they're in charge of your family too? I feel like, you had your turn, it's my turn now! My in-laws invited themselves along on our first ever WDW vacation last year. We weren't with them all the time, and they weren't there as long as we were, but I wanted our own family trip. They said for a day or two and it moved up to five days. My DH just couldn't tell them no. Wuss. Next time we go, I'm keeping it a secret! I might not be able to plan with my girls, which stinks, but unless they book last minute, it will just be us! I know they want to jump on board for the next trip b/c they've made suggestions on when we should go again.

This, of course, isn't the only "loving" interference I receive. Gotta love em...

 

[MinnieGi]

Okay...thanks to you all I got the courage to casually mention to my MIL that I had ordered the WDW vacation DVD. She goes," Oh- why would you do that?" I said, "WEll, the girls can't seem to get enough of Disney movies... Some friends just got back and told me how great it was...I haven't been in years and I'd really like to plan a trip for next Spring..."
DEAD SILENCE:
"OH......well.... I don't think they are going to like it at all until they are at least five..." MORE SILENCE....
I say, "WEll--I don't think we can hold out that long."
She goes, " You know...I was thinking that your mother may get jealous if I take the girls by myself...so I was going to invite her along so BOTH Grandmas will be there for the 1st special trip."

So...I'm thinking What the hell.....! "Why don't we ALL go on one huge family trip to celebrate dh's graduation from lawschool... MIL,FIL, my immediate fam, DSil, my DMom and DDad?????" She actually said, "Okay!"
Now I'm thinking ....what the HECK have I gotten myself INTO???????????????

Good for you for speaking up!!!!! I also would HAVE to be there for my kids first WDW trip.

Wow, what a trip it will be!!! Actually we very much enjoy family and friends traveling to WDW with us. Most of our trips are with others. We schedule group activities that people can meet up for and of course a few meals together. We also make it clear there is lots of time for "free time" of whatever families want to do or not do. It always works out well. We have a big group of family coming this Thanksgiving that we are planning for. So far 16 members and counting....

Good luck and again good for you for speaking up. You will probably become quite a pro at speaking up to MIL after planning and taking a WDW trip with her and the rest of the family!!! I'm just assuming since she has a tradition of taking the grandkids at age 5 by herself she must be quite a WDW vet!

 

[mary174]

Sounds like a gracious compromise on both your parts. I'm sure you and the Grandparents will love seeing your children's joy. I like the idea of adding on to your trip to give you some family alone time, but I would definately make it the end of your trip. No way to keep the beginning secret, and no real reason to deny your MIL the pleasure of seeing her grandchildrens' joy at being amongst the magic for the first time.

 

[vancesmom]

Don't let her do it without you! You will never forgive yourself if you give in. Stay strong and tell DH to stand up for you.

 

[BellyBaby]

Oh, come now. WDW with your moms will be okay. I'm taking my mom and dad with our first trip. Connecting rooms even. Where do you think the kids will sleep every few nights? That's right, and that's what grandparents are for!! Plus, they will be more than happy to do the tame rides while grandchild #1 goes on thrill rides. And no, I'm not being mean, my mom and dad love that stuff (honest, my dad will drive 2 hours just to pick them up for the weekend, then again they only have 2 grandkids, so they're pretty spoiled by them). And when I'm a grandma, I'd be more than happy to do that with my grandkids.

HAVE FUN! And maybe establish some ground rules so everyone knows what to expect!!

 

[Luv Bunnies]

A woman I used to work with took her grandson to see Santa for the first time. She couldn't understand why her daughter-in-law was so upset about it. I think mom and dad should the opportunity for the "firsts" in the child's life.

 

[fan_of_small_world]

A woman I used to work with took her grandson to see Santa for the first time.

Yikes! I would have been so mad at her!

 

[DumboPrincess]

A woman I used to work with took her grandson to see Santa for the first time. She couldn't understand why her daughter-in-law was so upset about it. I think mom and dad should the opportunity for the "firsts" in the child's life.

OMG--is that MY MIL you're talking about, b/c mine did that to me, and took DD to see Easter Bunny, too! I didn't even know she had taken her to see Santa until I saw a framed photo on MIL's mantle, then I got a 4by6 as one of my presents. That's it! 1 photo! I was livid If I had taken DD, which I planned to do, then everyone (my mom, dad, grandparents, uncle, siblings, plus mil, fil, sil, etc) would have gotten at least one photo. So, for Easter BUnny, MIL is baby sitting, "Oh, we might go to the mall, just look around, " she calls me from the line for the photos, and DD has already seen the Easter Bunny and live bunnies and "asks" if it is okay. I said only if I get a CD so I can share the photos with my family and have more than one picture of her. She says no problem. Well, she got the CD, but I didn't get it until I paid her $30 for it! WTH! Anyway, rant over...I need to start my own MIL from H*** thread...

So, OP, there is no way (for reasons beyond the ones above) that my MIL would ever in her life take my DDs to the beach alone, much less Disney. She is too controlling and selfish, and as someone else said, the FIRSTS are for you. YOu are the mom and dad. I try to point out to DH, and I'll tell you, You're MIL raised her kid(s). She had a lot of firsts, that Im sure her MIL didn't take away from her. She had her chance. She needs to step back and see you and DH are adults raising your own family. YOUR family (you, DH and kid (s)) come first and you need to establish your own traditions first. Any traditions of MIL come second, and only if they work for your family.

You are a better person than I by allowing your mil on your vacation
DumboPrincess

 

[vancesmom]

It's one thing to share the firsts but it's another to take them away from a mother or father. I love love love going on vacation with my parents and sharing my son's joy with them but they would never try to take that joy away from me.

 

[LisaNJ25]

has she taken any other grandchildren yet? My dad said this and took my niece when she was 5.. Shes now 20 and he never took any other grandkids lol

 

[taximomfor4]

I would take them before they are 5. My dd was 2 1/2, then 3, then turning 4 on our trips...PURE MAGIC every single time. Tell her you love the tradition of Grandma taking them at age 5, but that the tradition you have always looked forward to was being there to see their faces on their first trip to WDW. I think, if you get along well with MIL, taking a trip all together sounds lovely. I would do it with my MIL, but as well-meaning as she is, she gets on my nerves. (She is DH's mom, and she gets on his nerves too. She is kind of....out there most of the time.)

It is wonderfully sweet that your MIL wants to take the kids to WDW!!

Beth

 

[lillygator]

I would take them before 5 as well, and if this is their first trip I am not sure I would have the entire family come along. There are bound to be differences in touring style, dinners, etc and just from your posts I would bet you would be the one trying to make sure everyone has a good time and sacrificing things you wanted to do with your immediate family.

 

[MomNeedsVacay]

Okay...so now not only do my MIL and FIL want to go....both my parents want to go...now my DSis is jealous and wants to go (with her family- my DBil and Dniece -age 2) and wants to bring HER MIL ... I really really really don't want to go with my DSis..I love her, but she and her DH get on my nerves. She is the type to say...lets all meet for breakfast, shows up a half hour late, then gets mad that you started w/o her. She is perpetually late for EVERYTHING and always thinks its rude when we do whatever it is that she is late for. Its a real problem- my BIL is the same way. I'm a very "stick to the schedule" kind of girl--- so are all of the grandparents. ARGH!!!!
Should I call Dr. Phil????

 

[meandtheguys2]

Go now. As soon as they announce free dining (or whatever deal you can blame...) make reservations, and don't tell anyone until a week before.

You poor thing! I have an aunt just like your sis!