HELP!!! MIL wants to take my DC's to WDW alone!!!!

[fan_of_small_world]

She is the type to say...lets all meet for breakfast, shows up a half hour late, then gets mad that you started w/o her.

I'm related to some people like that too, lol. I manage by telling them that the start time is 15-30 minutes earlier than it is. So far, it's worked!

BTW, where near DC are you? I'm from Maryland, and my mom grew up in Silver Spring.

 

[coolmickey]

I let my mom talk me into taking my family and my sister's family to WDW when my DD was only 1 1/2. Mom would have loved to take her on her own but I nipped that in the bud;however I did say ok to a whole family trip Christmas week with 2 kids under three. Needless to say,MISTAKE! It was not the first WDW trip for our daughter we wanted. Luckily she doesn't remember.
Made up for it later by taking a trip with just myself,DH,DD4. It was magical, so magical we joined DVD and a year later brought my parents and sister (with her family) back to WDW and we all had a great time.

WDW is for happy family memories,Memories can be shared but it's not fair to take them.

 

[MomNeedsVacay]

I'm related to some people like that too, lol. I manage by telling them that the start time is 15-30 minutes earlier than it is. So far, it's worked!

BTW, where near DC are you? I'm from Maryland, and my mom grew up in Silver Spring.

I'm in Alexandria, VA, but grew up in Frederick, MD...
My sister keeps calling me..I'm avoiding for right now... but I can't avoid her at Easter. BTW- like you, my Mom told them that Easter dinner is at 3:00 (its actually at 4:00)...but my DSis has caught on to the whole time adjustment thing..... ARGH

 

[2Pirates_1Princess]

We had a similar problem with my MIL. She took one of the other grandkids, but we wouldn't let her take our kids. Instead we told her we would book a trip with her when we felt all three of are kids were ready to go. We have booked for June of this year. It will be MIL, FIL, husband, DD4, DS7, DS9 and myself. We felt the same way you do. My husband vividly remembers his first trip to the World and when are kids have those memmories we want to be in them. Just be reasonable and FIRM. The best thing you can do is get your husband on your side and approach your MIL together. GOOD LUCK !!

 

[Along4theRide]

Def not! That is a once in a lifetime opportunity-to see your kids' faces as they see the magic in WDW!! You'd regret letting that time slip away! I say go when you want and ask her to tag along. Good luck!!

 

[LilGMom]

My MIL says its "tradition" in their family for the GRandma to take each GC to WDW for the 1st time when they turn 5...I say, I want to go. I want to see my DD's faces when they see Cinderella's castle for the 1st time. I also don't want to wait until my girls are 5 y.o. to go. My DH says to just "let her do it" and we'll go another time. Am I selfish for wanting to go as a family and breaking this "tradition"??? In MY family is a tradition to all go together. I am so scared to speak up... Any ideas/solutions???

Speak up!!!! The great thing about having your own kids is that you can start your OWN traditions! Maybe (if you and your mil get along) she could go with your, your dh and your dd the first time your dd goes to WDW.

I honestly got tears in my eyes seeing my ds's face light up when he saw Disney for the first time. It is a memory that I will always cherish and treasure.

 

[NHmomof2boys]

There is no way on Earth that I would have missed the first time my 2 DS's saw Mickey or the castle.

I think that getting everybody to go is fine, as long as there are ground rules set right up front. Especially with your DSis. Tell her before you even make ADR's that if she isn't there on time, you will all sit and start without her. It's one thing when you are having Easter dinner at home, but when you are at WDW, there is little time to wait around for those that are late. I would also make lots of ADR's for just you, DH and your kids. Let DSis and DBIL go on their own, or with the other family members on the trip.

If none of this is really an option, make ressies now, sneak out of town under the cover of the night and don't tell anybody until you get back! Or enter the witness protection plan, to avoid the ugly confrontations

Good luck!!

 

[dolphinmom]

I have a little story to tell you,mom needs a vacay, about our first trip to wdw in 2004. We didn't go with family members but we went with friends. I won't go into all the messy details( and yes we are still friends) BUT we are going again in 16 days BY OURSELVES.

Basically the problems we ran into were that everyone ( each family- there were 3) wanted to do different things at different times. While this may appear to be a good thing because you aren't stuck with each other the whole time, it means that you end up waiting for each other for such things as meals together and rides back to the hotel together because you stupidly shared a rental van to cut costs. Anyway, I digress, sort of.

Anyway, my advice to you is this: only book your own immediate family's hotel, car, adrs, etc. Actually if I were you I would stay on-site and not rent a car. That way they cannot depend on you for rides. Whatever you do DO NOT get sucked into sharing a house off-site with them. If they want to share a house then they can, and just keep you out of it.

The other thing I have to say is about your dh. My dh was the same as yours - he would never say no to his mother. What I found out is that you still have to be the one to say no to her and that once your husband sees that you won't back down then he will really have no choice but to start backing you up because you are the one that, uh, you know, uh, MAKES his bed.

Everybody told us that it is impossible to have a bad time in wdw. Well let me tell you - they are wrong! and it sucks to waste time feeling mad or frustrated in wdw but we are human and we do not leave our normal feelings at the gates of wdw.

Anyway, good luck and know that there are total strangers on here who are thinking of you.

dolphinmom

 

[MomNeedsVacay]

I have a little story to tell you,mom needs a vacay, about our first trip to wdw in 2004. We didn't go with family members but we went with friends. I won't go into all the messy details( and yes we are still friends) BUT we are going again in 16 days BY OURSELVES.

Basically the problems we ran into were that everyone ( each family- there were 3) wanted to do different things at different times. While this may appear to be a good thing because you aren't stuck with each other the whole time, it means that you end up waiting for each other for such things as meals together and rides back to the hotel together because you stupidly shared a rental van to cut costs. Anyway, I digress, sort of.

Anyway, my advice to you is this: only book your own immediate family's hotel, car, adrs, etc. Actually if I were you I would stay on-site and not rent a car. That way they cannot depend on you for rides. Whatever you do DO NOT get sucked into sharing a house off-site with them. If they want to share a house then they can, and just keep you out of it.

The other thing I have to say is about your dh. My dh was the same as yours - he would never say no to his mother. What I found out is that you still have to be the one to say no to her and that once your husband sees that you won't back down then he will really have no choice but to start backing you up because you are the one that, uh, you know, uh, MAKES his bed.

Everybody told us that it is impossible to have a bad time in wdw. Well let me tell you - they are wrong! and it sucks to waste time feeling mad or frustrated in wdw but we are human and we do not leave our normal feelings at the gates of wdw.

Anyway, good luck and know that there are total strangers on here who are thinking of you.

dolphinmom

I think the reason my DH doesn't speak up is b/c he really doesn't think its a big deal. He thinks I'm being petty about the whole WDW thing and shrugs it off ....

OKAY--- NEW DEVELOPMENT!!!!!!!!

MIL /FIL want to pay for trip (have paid for other trips for us before-- they are rolling in it.... ..... ) but how will this work now? I mean if MY parents are going AND my DSIS (w/ fam)... how will we do meals and stuff with IL's paying for us? If the IL's pay, does this mean they get to decide everything????? Their budget is definitely more like Grand Floridian....ours is more like CBR w/ DDP..... hm?????

 

[dolphinmom]

That does throw a big old wrench into the mix, doesn't it? I think I better bow out now because 1. I have never gone a trip before with people who paid my way and 2. I tend not to let guilt guide me. Life is too short and I am too old. I am sure there will be others to come along who can help you.

Good luck and I really do hope you have a great trip.

dolphinmom

 

[2forMe]

Okay...thanks to you all I got the courage to casually mention to my MIL that I had ordered the WDW vacation DVD. She goes," Oh- why would you do that?" I said, "WEll, the girls can't seem to get enough of Disney movies... Some friends just got back and told me how great it was...I haven't been in years and I'd really like to plan a trip for next Spring..."
DEAD SILENCE:
"OH......well.... I don't think they are going to like it at all until they are at least five..." MORE SILENCE....
I say, "WEll--I don't think we can hold out that long."
She goes, " You know...I was thinking that your mother may get jealous if I take the girls by myself...so I was going to invite her along so BOTH Grandmas will be there for the 1st special trip."

So...I'm thinking What the hell.....! "Why don't we ALL go on one huge family trip to celebrate dh's graduation from lawschool... MIL,FIL, my immediate fam, DSil, my DMom and DDad?????" She actually said, "Okay!"
Now I'm thinking ....what the HECK have I gotten myself INTO???????????????

Well just hink you and DH can have some nice dinners alone.. maybe a trip to DTD too .. a night.. alone

 

[2forMe]

It's one thing to share the firsts but it's another to take them away from a mother or father. I love love love going on vacation with my parents and sharing my son's joy with them but they would never try to take that joy away from me.

I totally agree.. I am lucky I guess that the grandparents act the same way

 

[2forMe]

I think the reason my DH doesn't speak up is b/c he really doesn't think its a big deal. He thinks I'm being petty about the whole WDW thing and shrugs it off ....

OKAY--- NEW DEVELOPMENT!!!!!!!!

MIL /FIL want to pay for trip (have paid for other trips for us before-- they are rolling in it.... ..... ) but how will this work now? I mean if MY parents are going AND my DSIS (w/ fam)... how will we do meals and stuff with IL's paying for us? If the IL's pay, does this mean they get to decide everything????? Their budget is definitely more like Grand Floridian....ours is more like CBR w/ DDP..... hm?????

Well you would just tell your parents that the IL's are paying for your family, but suggest that everyone get the DDP.. if that is possible.. I think you need to talk to your other family that is going to see what kind of budget they will have. It would probably be best for your all to stay at the same resort though.. so hopefully there can be some compromises..

 

[ilovejack02]

I think the reason my DH doesn't speak up is b/c he really doesn't think its a big deal. He thinks I'm being petty about the whole WDW thing and shrugs it off ....

OKAY--- NEW DEVELOPMENT!!!!!!!!

MIL /FIL want to pay for trip (have paid for other trips for us before-- they are rolling in it.... ..... ) but how will this work now? I mean if MY parents are going AND my DSIS (w/ fam)... how will we do meals and stuff with IL's paying for us? If the IL's pay, does this mean they get to decide everything????? Their budget is definitely more like Grand Floridian....ours is more like CBR w/ DDP..... hm?????

I STILL wouldnt go. Id rather go on a tighter budget and be on my own then have to worry about any one else's schedule besides my own.

 

[hollyb]

5 years old is way to young to go on vacation alone with a grandparent. No way would that ever happen in our famliy. All you need to say is no, no explanation needed. She is your DD your MIL has no say over how you raise your child.

 

[Liltx]

My dd's have already gone to DW many times so I can't speak to the first time thing but I would LOVE for my MIL to take them for a week! She watches them 3 days a week already so I completely trust her. A week without kids, sounds like heaven!

Monica

 

[write2caro]

I haven't read ALL the posts here, but I have a feeling mine won't be TOO different. Depending on your relationship with her, I might invite her along, but there is NO WAY I wouldn't be there for the 1st trip!!! There was a whole entourage on my son's 1st trip - grandparents on both side, my and my husband's siblings - and it was all fine. We did stuff all together, and other stuff just us. A few touchy spots, but mostly very good. Family stayed for a few days, and we were there a whole 12 days! Would she go for that? I don't think my husband would dream of disagreeing with me on that! I think you should definitely speak up on it.

 

[write2caro]

I just read the NEW DEVELOPMENT! Them paying? I still would want to do my own thing. Whether you get to or not when someone else pays depends on the person paying. If you're at all concerned about them running the show if they pay, I personally would rather opt out. That's me, though.

 

[mitushib]

My 2 cents again. If ur IL are paying great!! Tell them you want to plan for every1. Ask ur parents their budget and ask ur IL theirs. Now since ur not paying if u can simply pitch in the extra to upgrade ur parents to GF or since ur MIL is the one who is gonna invite ur mom let them talk and decide a resort. It will be easier. It wont be that bad since ur in Disney but sometimes the older people to tire out early and may not be that much interested in rides.

PS If so many of u do go do make it Magical gatherings its a great thing.

 

[LilGMom]

Okay...so now not only do my MIL and FIL want to go....both my parents want to go...now my DSis is jealous and wants to go (with her family- my DBil and Dniece -age 2) and wants to bring HER MIL ... I really really really don't want to go with my DSis..I love her, but she and her DH get on my nerves. She is the type to say...lets all meet for breakfast, shows up a half hour late, then gets mad that you started w/o her. She is perpetually late for EVERYTHING and always thinks its rude when we do whatever it is that she is late for. Its a real problem- my BIL is the same way. I'm a very "stick to the schedule" kind of girl--- so are all of the grandparents. ARGH!!!!
Should I call Dr. Phil????

We have been taking our two ds's since the oldest was ten months old. The first time we went with my mil/fil was when my oldest was around 3 yrs. old. It was such a bad trip!!!! I love my mil and fil but they honestly drove me nuts. The more people you have involved the less fun it is, the harder it is to eat meals and there is always someone that isn't getting their way and starts pouting which brings everyone else down. If you can I'd have a trip really soon with just your immediate family and then plan one with the extended family.