HELP!!! MIL wants to take my DC's to WDW alone!!!!

[MomNeedsVacay]

My MIL says its "tradition" in their family for the GRandma to take each GC to WDW for the 1st time when they turn 5...I say, I want to go. I want to see my DD's faces when they see Cinderella's castle for the 1st time. I also don't want to wait until my girls are 5 y.o. to go. My DH says to just "let her do it" and we'll go another time. Am I selfish for wanting to go as a family and breaking this "tradition"??? In MY family is a tradition to all go together. I am so scared to speak up... Any ideas/solutions???

 

[2Monkeys]

I would tell her what you just said here - that you would love for her to take them,but that you want to go too. Tell her you don't want to miss the magical moments that they will experience the first time. Of course, I have a MIL too, so I know that's easier said than done. But, stand your ground! You are the mommie, and you shouldn't have to miss out on this! Good luck!

ETA - Also, if you don't want to wait then say so! Maybe - "I would love for you to go to WDW for the girls' first trip, but we've decided that we are ready to take them now. Is this date or this date better for you?"

 

[jupers]

OMG definitely speak up. We almost had my MIL come with us when we go in June but I really thought about it and wanted it to be just the three of us. (DD turning 4). Definitely speak up. There are some things grandparents don't get to do first! My MIL wanted to get my DD ear's pierced I said no way. You can say no and still be nice. Let DH know you feel strongly about this one. Good Luck!

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Ummm...Just say NO!!! It is your child. If you wanted to be nice you could invite MIL along with you when dd turns 5. I would not agree with this. Your family has to make their own traditions. If you are not happy with it then why do you have to "just let her do it"? Tell your dh how upset you are. I would never have missed my kid's first trip to Disney even if Walt himself wanted to take them without me. Sorry- I don't mean to be harsh but I don't understand why it's hard to tell someone that you appreciate the offer but you want to be the one to take your children. If they don't like it then oh well.

 

[MommyBoo!]

Ummm, no, you are not. You and DH need to have your own traditions. MIL can have hers but yours come first. There is no way I would not be there for my kids' first trip!! Your DH needs to consider what's important to you and he needs to be the one to tell her no. JMO

 

[surfer_ed]

Great if she wants to go...depending on your MIL but I would want to be there for the first time.

 

[meandtheguys2]

What a fun tradition! BUT that doesn't mean that it can't be tweaked! Time for your sweetie to step up, and take you all to Disney! Starting a new family tradition! Lucky you have a couple of years!

 

[mytwotinks]

If you are o.k. with her taking them when they are 5, I would go ahead and let her. It does not have to be their first time though! if the other grandkids had not been to DW when they turned 5 and it was o.k. with their parents, good for them! That doesn't mean that you have to miss out on trips that you want to take between now and then. I say you take your dd now and let grandma take her again when she is 5. You are just scoring an extra DW trip for your dd! That makes you a pretty awesome mommy in my book!

 

[*KeepMovingForward*]

I would totally appreciate the sentiment of her offer, but I think I would feel the same way you do-that I would want to be there with them. You can't relive those first awestruck looks that your kids will have upon seeing WDW. I would think that it was very presumptuous of my MIL to assume that she can take my kids on a trip just because she tells me it is a family or a grandma tradition. I'd definitely be speaking to DH about it. No way I would miss my kids first visit to the Mouse!

 

[WDWorBUST]

OMG - NO WAY would I let this happen. Granted my daughter has been several times already and isn't 4 yet, but it would be a cold day before I would let my MIL take her on her first trip to WDW - actually I know I'm overprotective but I don't know that I would let my MIL take DD to WDW alone at all. I say just thank her for the sentiment and tell her although you think it's great she has been able and willing to do that for her GC that you want to be there for your child's first trip and you don't want to wait until the age of 5 to do it. Then if you would be okay with her going your first trip you could invite her along - but I wouldn't feel obligated to if I were you.

 

[Chris]

I would tell her that you are planning on taking your children to see the magic for the first time. If it's before she is 5 then great and if your MIL <and you> wants to take her again after that fine, however I would NOT give in. I'd also be sure your husband back you up.

 

[Rustysmom]

I wouldn't let her take them the first time. I can't wait to see my DD's face when she see's Cinderella's Castle in person for the first time and I wouldn't let anyone ruin that for me.

 

[mitushib]

All said will ur 5 yr old want to take a trip alond with ur MIL? I have a DS4 but I cant see him in a year going alone on a trip withou his mom or dad. Plus tell ur MIL she can take DD when she is 5 but you will tagalong and pay ur way if need be. Times have changed and so should traditions and now ur have a family withnew traditions.

 

[sk!mom]

No, I would not have let anyone take my DD for the first time without me.

I would thank her for the offer and if you have a good relationship maybe invite her along.

To me your bigger problem is that you are scared to speak up and that your DH doesn't have your back. My DH would understand and would say no, as well, but if he did not understand yet saw how important it was to me- he would say no for me.

 

[fan_of_small_world]

If you haven't already done so, I think you need to tell your DH just how important it is to you for you to be there for all those "firsts" with your children and that you don't plan to wait that long before taking them to WDW.

Second, once he has heard you, he needs to talk with his mother and clearly explain that while her offer is very generous, your family has different plans for WDW vacations, and if she would like to join you she is welcome. She should not be dictating how or when you plan your family's vacations, to WDW or anywhere else.

 

[va32h]

Two things I would explain to your husband and MIL.

1) A Disney vacation is not just for the kids, it's for everyone in the family. Including you. When people roll their eyes at me and say "you are taking them to Disney again?" I say "No, I am going to my favorite place to vacation, and aren't my kids lucky that it happens to be a place they can enjoy too."

2) It is not so easy to assume that a 5yo child wants to go anywhere without her parents. My sister wanted to take my kids on a trip for their 6th birthdays. Fine with me. Except both kids said they wouldn't go without mommy! My youngest is 3, and my sister has already planned that I will come along on that trip too. A vacation with a sad, homesick child isn't fun for anyone.

Good luck!

 

[PoohsFan1]

That is soooo funny, my MIL feels the same way. My MIL and FIL took all the other grandkids to Disney for their first times, without the parents. Eventhough they know how big of a Disney geek I am, they still insisted on taking my dd to Disney. Finally, when they enquired about going one year, I turned around and told them that if her mother can't go then she can't go. At first they thought I was kidding, but quickly realized that I wasn't. They talked to my DH about it, and he just shrugged his shoulders at his parents. Needless to say we are ALL going to WDW in June....I guess I got my way

 

[feedindy]

I absolutely would not let mine go without me. In fact, we went 3 years ago, but my parents wanted to take the kids this year. I said, fine if I can go too. DD is at a much different age at 4 than the first time we went. I would never miss the look on her face when she sees Cinerella's castle for the first time in her memory!

It didn't end up happening for many other reasons, but our decision had been that if they went to Disney the whole family would go. If they just wanted to take them to the beach in Florida, Mom didn't have to be there! Perhaps, if she is really set on a 5th birthday vacation with just Grandma she would be more flexible on the location.

 

[ilovejack02]

Good Lord dont be scared, there are more issues around the corner and you have to learn to say NO at some point, this looks like a good place to start.

Tell them no and if you want it to be just your family say so. There was no way in hell I was allowing anyone to join us on our first trip. It was our special time alone and no one was allowed. Too bad if they didnt like it .

 

[MegansMom]

I realize that what I am about to say may sound harsh, but it is only for the best. ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY, NO WAY IN THE WORLD SHOULD YOU EVER LET THAT HAPPEN!! I feel your pain--I too have a MIL that wanted to pretty much do the same thing, but I stood my ground and refused. I can tell by your posting that you and I are very like-minded, and completely understand what you mean by wanting your first trip reserved for the four of you. That is in no way selfish--they are your girls, and you more than anyone else in the world deserve to see that first look--it is priceless!! My husband and I took our DD for the first time last September (she was just about to turn 3) and it was by far the BEST trip I have ever taken in my entire life--even better than our honeymoon to Hawaii. What made it so special was all the little moments that we got to experience only for ourselves with our daughter. Our favorite happened the first five minutes we were there--we got to see Mickey right away. As we walked into the post office on Main Street and my DD saw Mickey and Minnie for the first time, the expression on her face "paid" for every cent we spent on that vacation. IT WAS PRICELESS!! I will never forget that look as long as I live--and you should be able to have those same cherished moments for yourself. Your husband may never understand how you feel--he's a guy--they just think differently than we do, but do yourself the favor of politely declining the offer and then begin thinking of when you would like to take that first trip with your little family and start PLANNING!! YEAH! Do yourself another favor by making that first trip by yourselves--leaving your MIL at home. She can take them or accompany you on their second! You GO GIRL! You can do it!! I'm here for support!