How Can Parents Be So Clueless?

[mandynee22]

I guess you did not read the entire first post - the car was left running, with a child inside. That is not only illegal in the state of Massachusetts, it's incredibly stupid and dangerous. Did you read the part about how a person just stole a truck that was left running outside a dentist office, with a 7 yr old girl asleep in the back seat?

Is it really? I remember there being something about them trying to pass a law about leaving kids under 5 in a car alone but i thought it didn't pass.

 

[nchulka]

I guess you did not read the entire first post - the car was left running, with a child inside. That is not only illegal in the state of Massachusetts, it's incredibly stupid and dangerous. Did you read the part about how a person just stole a truck that was left running outside a dentist office, with a 7 yr old girl asleep in the back seat?

I did read the entire post and that woman has every right to parent the way she wants to. I would not personally leave the car running but I'm not going to say that someone who does is wrong. All parents parent differently you don't call in the authorities unless a parent is doing something that causes the child imminent danger such as a parent beating the tar out of a kid in public or an infant strapped into a carseat in a hot car for a period of time that would cause them to overheat. A 5 year old can easily get out and go in the store and have them page her mom if she was getting too hot. 5 year olds are much smarter than babies, but people in America don't seem to get that. Here we tend to think kids are totally helpless and can't take care of themselves.

I make decisions about my children that are different than others make and I would be very mad if someone took it upon themselves to call the cops because they didn't agree with my timetable of thinking as to when my kids are old enough to be alone. My daughter is 9 and son is 8, they have been free to run around the subdivision on their bikes and such since about 6. Some other parents around here won't let their 9 year olds out of their sight still. It's a matter of parental choice, if a cop showed up because my 6 year old is out getting exercise on his bike on the sidewalks of suburban America because some busybody neighbor decided that THEY didn't think a 6 year year old should be alone I would be seriously angry also. No wonder the woman yelled back at you.

Do you have a clue as to the danger that 5 year olds around the wold face everyday??? Sitting alone in a car with a dog in a busy parking lot in America is WAY down on the list. Get some perspective people!

 

[nchulka]

I guess you did not read the entire first post - the car was left running, with a child inside. That is not only illegal in the state of Massachusetts, it's incredibly stupid and dangerous. Did you read the part about how a person just stole a truck that was left running outside a dentist office, with a 7 yr old girl asleep in the back seat?

Did you read the part about how the car thief returned the girl when he realized she was in the car??? Child abductions by strangers are incredibly rare, apparently even by criminals!

 

[myhouseofmouse]

there was no reason to call the cops on someone just because you disagree with their parenting choices. A baby strapped into an infant seat in a hot car on a 90 degree day, yes they are in immanent danger, and you should try to help. A 5 year old in a car with a dog is not. Child kidnapping by stranger are incredibly rare. That child could have sat in that car for hours and not had any harm come to her. You may perceive that children that age are not capable of being left alone but the majority of the world does not agree with you. Children that age in many other cultures are on their own and caring for younger siblings. It's only in america that we seem to have such a low expectation for our children that we think they are unable to sit by themselves for 30 minutes! You may not agree with her parenting, but she probably doesn't agree with yours either!

wow!!!!

 

[Magic Mom]

I came out of the grocery store today and parked in front of my car was a high end car (not that it really matters what kind of car it was) RUNNING, wipers going, with a little girl and a small dog in the front seat. I was stunned. As luck would have it there was a local police cruiser in the parking lot. He approached the girl, found out her name, age, 5, and the fact that her mother was in the store. So we waited and waited. Roughly 15-20 minutes later out walks the mother. She wasn't even concerned that the police were at her car. To make a long story short, I had some not so kind words for her. She in turn told me to mind my own business numerous times, waving her hand in my face and so on. I guess I was a little stunned. I am sure nothing will happen to her, but the woman really needs some parenting tips.

To top it off, also today in a separate town, a car was stolen with a sleeping child in it. Apparently, the carjacker had second thoughts because that child is fine.

Okay, let me have it. Should I have gone on my merry way without contacting the police? Who else would have stuck their nose in the situation?
Any men out there who would have done the same?

Wait, the police LET you confront her and tell her off?

 

[Magic Mom]

Actually, that's the very definition of "altercation."

In any case, you absolutely did the right thing by contacting the police, but you shouldn't have said anything to the mother. Not because you were incorrect, because you weren't, but because putting her on the defensive made it almost certain that the police officer wouldn't be able to get through to her. Had you just left and let the officer deal with it, he would have been able to explain the dangers calmly and rationally and he just might have gotten through to her. People who have just been scolded by strangers aren't generally willing to listen to reason.

 

[crashbb]

I'm just still in shock over how many posts so far are against you speaking up. I guess the kid had to die first before you should have said anything!!!!

Have you actually read the other posts? At the time that you posted NOT ONE had said that she shouldn't have spoken up and told the cops. The child was in no danger of dying at the time that she yelled at the other parent - the cops were right there.


But hey, why bother using logic when you can use (completely unjustified) hyperbole?

 

[Alesia]

But hey, why bother using logic when you can use (completely unjustified) hyperbole?

Hey, don't knock Hyperbole! Hyperbole is totally the most awesome thing in the whole world.

 

[myhouseofmouse]

Have you actually read the other posts? At the time that you posted NOT ONE had said that she shouldn't have spoken up and told the cops. The child was in no danger of dying at the time that she yelled at the other parent - the cops were right there.


But hey, why bother using logic when you can use (completely unjustified) hyperbole?

Sorry I meant speaking up to the "Stupid Mother" for leaving her child in the car. Sorry I didn't clarify it well enough. I thought my insults on parenting would have given my intentions away. I'll do better job in the future.

 

[Missy29]

I dont think you did anything wrong at all. I probably would not said anything to her exactly but maybe said of few things to myself(of course loud enough to for her to hear), people like that obviously have not much sense so Im sure an argument would not help anyway. It is just sad how some people think.

 

[Metsfan520]

Actually, that's the very definition of "altercation."

In any case, you absolutely did the right thing by contacting the police, but you shouldn't have said anything to the mother. Not because you were incorrect, because you weren't, but because putting her on the defensive made it almost certain that the police officer wouldn't be able to get through to her. Had you just left and let the officer deal with it, he would have been able to explain the dangers calmly and rationally and he just might have gotten through to her. People who have just been scolded by strangers aren't generally willing to listen to reason.

 

[crashbb]

Sorry I meant speaking up to the "Stupid Mother" for leaving her child in the car. Sorry I didn't clarify it well enough. I thought my insults on parenting would have given my intentions away. I'll do better job in the future.

I guess I just didn't think that anyone would actually think that a stranger yelling at a parent is useful, especially when a police officer is already there to do "official yelling".

I'll lower my expectations for common sense in the future.

And the hyperbole comment still stands.

 

[nchulka]

Sorry I meant speaking up to the "Stupid Mother" for leaving her child in the car. Sorry I didn't clarify it well enough. I thought my insults on parenting would have given my intentions away. I'll do better job in the future.

So anyone who does not parent your way is stupid? I am far from stupid, I studied early childhood education in college and am a substitute teacher now that my kids are both in school. I volunteer at their school and am present at every event. Coming to a different conclusion about child-rearing does not make me stupid. I can't tell you the number of times I've looked at over-protective parents and thought the same thing, how can they be so stupid, don't they know their child is capable of so much more? Really though me thinking they are stupid is no different than them thinking I am stupid, we have all just come to different conclusions on how we want to raise our children. I'll leave you and your ways that don't make any sense to me alone and I want you to leave me and my parenting choices alone without alerting the authorities that you disagree with me.

By "you" I am not talking about you specifically

 

[Alesia]

So anyone who does not parent your way is stupid? I am far from stupid, I studied early childhood education in college and am a substitute teacher now that my kids are both in school. I volunteer at their school and am present at every event. Coming to a different conclusion about child-rearing does not make me stupid. I can't tell you the number of times I've looked at over-protective parents and thought the same thing, how can they be so stupid, don't they know their child is capable of so much more? Really though me thinking they are stupid is no different than them thinking I am stupid, we have all just come to different conclusions on how we want to raise our children. I'll leave you and your ways that don't make any sense to me alone and I want you to leave me and my parenting choices alone without alerting the authorities that you disagree with me.

By "you" I am not talking about you specifically

I'm going to disagree with you. You're correct that the chances of a child being kidnapped are small, but that's not the only thing that could happen. The child could accidentally (or intentionally) put the car in gear and either run over someone or caused an accident. She could have gotten out and been hit by another car. Any number of things could happen and a wise parent doesn't leave a 5 year-old child completely unattended for 30 minutes.

 

[Happiest mommy]

You did the correct thing in informing the officer after that you should have just let him handle it, nuff said.

 

[nchulka]

I'm going to disagree with you. You're correct that the chances of a child being kidnapped are small, but that's not the only thing that could happen. The child could accidentally (or intentionally) put the car in gear and either run over someone or caused an accident. She could have gotten out and been hit by another car. Any number of things could happen and a wise parent doesn't leave a 5 year-old child completely unattended for 30 minutes.

By 5 a child should be able to navigate a parking lot and know to look out for cars. Personally I would not leave the car running, but I'm not going to condemn someone who did. I would be more worried about the dog jumping around and knocking the car into gear, again a 5 year old should know better.

But the thing is everyone is jumping on this woman and calling her stupid for something probably all of our mothers did. A generation ago leaving kids in the car was normal, everyone did it. I remember begging my mom to wait in the car when I was a kid in the late 70's/early 80's. Were our mothers all stupid? No, the problem is that paranoia has crept in over the years despite the FACT that all violent crime including against children has continued to go down since the mid 90's. Now things that were once commonplace are being reported to the police. It makes me very afraid for the future. 25 years from now will people be calling the police to report a stupid parent for letting a 11 year old walk 3 blocks to school alone? Where will it end, if things that are acceptable now become "dangerous" in the future? This is my point, parents have a right to raise their children how they want to without interference from others who choose to raise their children differently.

 

[MissUndastood]

After you notified the police you should have left. There was no reason for you to say anything to the woman once the police were involved. You overstepped your bounds by being confrontational after law enforcement was on hand.

I agree with this.

 

[Svhadden]

I would agree that you most likely wasted your breath by telling the woman how you felt, because it sounds like she just waved your words off.

Several years ago, I called the police when I came out of a store (in Alabama, in Sept...temp was well over 90 degrees) and found a small child left alone in a vehicle right next to mine. She was young enough to be in a carseat, but it looked like either she had unstrapped herself, or the parent had unstrapped her before going into the store. Regardless, the back windows were down about halfway. I have no idea how long the mother was in the store, and I didn't care. I called the po-po. I stayed there until the officer arrived, then left. Mom still had not come out of the store.

I've often asked myself, would a parent leave a million dollars laid out in the seat of their car for all the world to see while they went shopping for 15-20 min? Nope. But most of us would likely say that our child is worth more than any amount of money.

There is no way I'd make a 5 year old responsible for their own safety in a situation like that. Responsibility should be given according to development and maturity, and I can't imagine telling my 5 year old, "Mommy is going into this store. If you have an emergency, turn the car off, get the keys, lock up, navigate the parking lot, find the customer service counter and have them page Mommy."

I've been a social worker or worked in the child welfare system for 15 years, and I can tell you objectively that yes, there is a perv/consciousless opportunist on just about every corner. I have an Offender app on my phone and I've made it a game to use it randomly when away from home. I'm almost always stunned by the number of REGISTERED sex offenders in any given area, and it doesn't seem to matter if I'm in an affluent area, a middle-class area, or a low-income area. I've even used it near schools just out of curiosity, and yep...there they are. Obviously, this is not unregistered offenders, and it's only sex offenders. Many other categories of predator out there.

Bottom line, good for you for calling the police. If the worst had happened, and the child had been injured in some way, what would ppl be saying to you if you'd just walked on by thinking, "Oh well...she's 5. I'm sure she can handle herself."

I'd much rather err on the side of caution and safety than to take a chance. Call me over protective. I don't care.

 

[ilovemk76]

I came out of the grocery store today and parked in front of my car was a high end car (not that it really matters what kind of car it was) RUNNING, wipers going, with a little girl and a small dog in the front seat. I was stunned. As luck would have it there was a local police cruiser in the parking lot. He approached the girl, found out her name, age, 5, and the fact that her mother was in the store. So we waited and waited. Roughly 15-20 minutes later out walks the mother. She wasn't even concerned that the police were at her car. To make a long story short, I had some not so kind words for her. She in turn told me to mind my own business numerous times, waving her hand in my face and so on. I guess I was a little stunned. I am sure nothing will happen to her, but the woman really needs some parenting tips.

To top it off, also today in a separate town, a car was stolen with a sleeping child in it. Apparently, the carjacker had second thoughts because that child is fine.

Okay, let me have it. Should I have gone on my merry way without contacting the police? Who else would have stuck their nose in the situation?
Any men out there who would have done the same?

The police were at her car and you felt the need to lecture her? Let the police do their job.

BTW did you call the police?

 

[HeatherLassell]

BTW did you call the police?

She said "As luck would have it there was a local police cruiser in the parking lot."