How Can Parents Be So Clueless?

[Crystal824]

I would have gotten the cops or called the cops. But not waited to talk with the "parent", just not sure what someone will do or say even with the cops around.

good for you for saying something to the cops.

I would have done this. I would probably have waited until the police arrived but not after.

 

[DisneyFamily123]

Maryland Law ---

Law Summary
Children under the age of 8 may not be left unattended in a motor vehicle. A child is considered supervised if accompanied by someone age 13 or older.*

*Please note that even if a state does not have a specific law prohibiting adults from leaving children unattended, state and local prosecuters have the discretion to criminally charge adults under existing child endangerment laws.

Penalty
If found gulity of this misdemeanor, offenders are subject to a maximum $500 fine, or imprisonment of not more than 30 days, or both.

 

[ilovemk76]

She said "As luck would have it there was a local police cruiser in the parking lot."

She could have still called the police to cause that "luck".

 

[mom to minnie&mickey]

There was no reason to call the cops on someone just because YOU disagree with their parenting choices. A baby strapped into an infant seat in a hot car on a 90 degree day, yes they are in immanent danger, and you should try to help. A 5 year old in a car with a dog is not. Child kidnapping by stranger are incredibly rare. That child could have sat in that car for hours and not had any harm come to her. You may perceive that children that age are not capable of being left alone but the majority of the world does not agree with you. Children that age in many other cultures are on their own and caring for younger siblings. It's only in America that we seem to have such a low expectation for our children that we think they are unable to sit by themselves for 30 minutes! You may not agree with her parenting, but she probably doesn't agree with yours either!

 

[MissyBrenda]

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2000/02/23/national/main163981.shtml?source=search_story

Because of this, I could never leave my daughter in the car alone, especially at that age. Anyone living in the Kansas City area at the time remembers the news reports and seeing that mother and her pain. All it took was a couple of minutes...

 

[mjkacmom]

By doing what you did, you are only making it harder on the officer to handle the situation. Once you gave your statement to the officer you should have left. NOTHING good comes out of "yelling your opinions at someone" besides looking foolish. Your advice wasn't needed and the police were already there. Next time, just leave.

 

[myhouseofmouse]

So anyone who does not parent your way is stupid? I am far from stupid, I studied early childhood education in college and am a substitute teacher now that my kids are both in school. I volunteer at their school and am present at every event. Coming to a different conclusion about child-rearing does not make me stupid. I can't tell you the number of times I've looked at over-protective parents and thought the same thing, how can they be so stupid, don't they know their child is capable of so much more? Really though me thinking they are stupid is no different than them thinking I am stupid, we have all just come to different conclusions on how we want to raise our children. I'll leave you and your ways that don't make any sense to me alone and I want you to leave me and my parenting choices alone without alerting the authorities that you disagree with me.

By "you" I am not talking about you specifically

Goes to show "well educated" and common sense are far from the same thing!!!

 

[mom to minnie&mickey]

OP I tend to agree with everyone who said that you should have left after the police became involved. However, you absolutely did the right thing!
Many people today in their busy lives tend to think "this has nothing to do with me" How would you have felt if in the evening news you heard of a child being kidnapped from that parking lot and found dead? How could you have lived with yourself knowing you could have saved her? I wonder how many other people saw her before you did and did nothing? My theory is far fetched, I know, but where children are concerned one can never be too careful.
What comes to memory is a little 5 year old girl named Samantha Runion from Florida. About 10 years ago her mom let her sit outside her door with her 5 year old friend to talk. A car stopped, a man came out grabbed her and left.
They found her body 2 days later.

YOU DID GOOD!

 

[tinkermom23]

There was no reason to call the cops on someone just because YOU disagree with their parenting choices. A baby strapped into an infant seat in a hot car on a 90 degree day, yes they are in immanent danger, and you should try to help. A 5 year old in a car with a dog is not. Child kidnapping by stranger are incredibly rare. That child could have sat in that car for hours and not had any harm come to her. You may perceive that children that age are not capable of being left alone but the majority of the world does not agree with you. Children that age in many other cultures are on their own and caring for younger siblings. It's only in America that we seem to have such a low expectation for our children that we think they are unable to sit by themselves for 30 minutes! You may not agree with her parenting, but she probably doesn't agree with yours either!

At first I thought you were joking, then I read the rest of your posts and realized you really mean this?????

I did read the entire post and that woman has every right to parent the way she wants to. I would not personally leave the car running but I'm not going to say that someone who does is wrong. All parents parent differently you don't call in the authorities unless a parent is doing something that causes the child imminent danger such as a parent beating the tar out of a kid in public or an infant strapped into a carseat in a hot car for a period of time that would cause them to overheat. A 5 year old can easily get out and go in the store and have them page her mom if she was getting too hot. 5 year olds are much smarter than babies, but people in America don't seem to get that. Here we tend to think kids are totally helpless and can't take care of themselves.

I make decisions about my children that are different than others make and I would be very mad if someone took it upon themselves to call the cops because they didn't agree with my timetable of thinking as to when my kids are old enough to be alone. My daughter is 9 and son is 8, they have been free to run around the subdivision on their bikes and such since about 6. Some other parents around here won't let their 9 year olds out of their sight still. It's a matter of parental choice, if a cop showed up because my 6 year old is out getting exercise on his bike on the sidewalks of suburban America because some busybody neighbor decided that THEY didn't think a 6 year year old should be alone I would be seriously angry also. No wonder the woman yelled back at you.

Do you have a clue as to the danger that 5 year olds around the wold face everyday??? Sitting alone in a car with a dog in a busy parking lot in America is WAY down on the list. Get some perspective people!

Not true, not true at all.

So anyone who does not parent your way is stupid? I am far from stupid, I studied early childhood education in college and am a substitute teacher now that my kids are both in school. I volunteer at their school and am present at every event. Coming to a different conclusion about child-rearing does not make me stupid. I can't tell you the number of times I've looked at over-protective parents and thought the same thing, how can they be so stupid, don't they know their child is capable of so much more? Really though me thinking they are stupid is no different than them thinking I am stupid, we have all just come to different conclusions on how we want to raise our children. I'll leave you and your ways that don't make any sense to me alone and I want you to leave me and my parenting choices alone without alerting the authorities that you disagree with me.

By "you" I am not talking about you specifically

I am so thankful that you are not in my child's school.

By 5 a child should be able to navigate a parking lot and know to look out for cars. Personally I would not leave the car running, but I'm not going to condemn someone who did. I would be more worried about the dog jumping around and knocking the car into gear, again a 5 year old should know better.

But the thing is everyone is jumping on this woman and calling her stupid for something probably all of our mothers did. A generation ago leaving kids in the car was normal, everyone did it. I remember begging my mom to wait in the car when I was a kid in the late 70's/early 80's. Were our mothers all stupid? No, the problem is that paranoia has crept in over the years despite the FACT that all violent crime including against children has continued to go down since the mid 90's. Now things that were once commonplace are being reported to the police. It makes me very afraid for the future. 25 years from now will people be calling the police to report a stupid parent for letting a 11 year old walk 3 blocks to school alone? Where will it end, if things that are acceptable now become "dangerous" in the future? This is my point, parents have a right to raise their children how they want to without interference from others who choose to raise their children differently.

I like you, was a kid the 70's & 80's. We didn't wear seatbelts, no carseats, nothing, ever. This is paranoia setting in? No, people have learned from the past and use this to keep their children safe today.


To the OP- Thank you for looking out for others. Although I would probably not have confronted the woman, I would have liked to.

 

[PrincessTiffany]

There was no reason to call the cops on someone just because YOU disagree with their parenting choices. A baby strapped into an infant seat in a hot car on a 90 degree day, yes they are in immanent danger, and you should try to help. A 5 year old in a car with a dog is not. Child kidnapping by stranger are incredibly rare. That child could have sat in that car for hours and not had any harm come to her. You may perceive that children that age are not capable of being left alone but the majority of the world does not agree with you. Children that age in many other cultures are on their own and caring for younger siblings. It's only in America that we seem to have such a low expectation for our children that we think they are unable to sit by themselves for 30 minutes! You may not agree with her parenting, but she probably doesn't agree with yours either!

We've all read your stupid "free range" parenting rants here on the Dis, but you are missing the point here. The child was left in a "running" car. That is a crime. It doesn't matter if a 5 year old child is able to navigate a busy parking lot or if stranger kiddnapping is rare, it has absolutely on relevance on this issue. In most states it is a crime to leave a 5 year old alone in a running car. Period. The mother was an idiot for doing so. The OP was right to contact law enforcement, for the safety of the child and any pedestrians who could be harmed by the vehicle being put into gear. I will say that the OP went from being a concerned citizen to being a busy body by staying and confronting the parent though.

 

[Alesia]

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2000/02/23/national/main163981.shtml?source=search_story

Because of this, I could never leave my daughter in the car alone, especially at that age. Anyone living in the Kansas City area at the time remembers the news reports and seeing that mother and her pain. All it took was a couple of minutes...

That's awful. Just awful. Honestly, reading that made me sick. And yes, the likelihood of something like that happening is almost infinitesimal, but I can't imagine any mother being able to forgive herself if it happened to her child.

Leaving a child unsupervised in a car is at least as risky (probably more so) as leaving them at home by themselves. If you wouldn't feel comfortable leaving them at home by themselves, don't leave them in the car (or anywhere else unsupervised.) Yes, I know it's sometimes inconvenient, but being a parent is never about convenience.

I'm not saying this to judge parents who have left their kids in the car - none of us are perfect and we all make the decisions that seem best at the time. But I do think it's something that every parent should think about.

 

[bgirldeb]

I came out of the grocery store today and parked in front of my car was a high end car (not that it really matters what kind of car it was) RUNNING, wipers going, with a little girl and a small dog in the front seat. I was stunned. As luck would have it there was a local police cruiser in the parking lot. He approached the girl, found out her name, age, 5, and the fact that her mother was in the store. So we waited and waited. Roughly 15-20 minutes later out walks the mother. She wasn't even concerned that the police were at her car. To make a long story short, I had some not so kind words for her. She in turn told me to mind my own business numerous times, waving her hand in my face and so on. I guess I was a little stunned. I am sure nothing will happen to her, but the woman really needs some parenting tips.

To top it off, also today in a separate town, a car was stolen with a sleeping child in it. Apparently, the carjacker had second thoughts because that child is fine.

Okay, let me have it. Should I have gone on my merry way without contacting the police? Who else would have stuck their nose in the situation?
Any men out there who would have done the same?

I'm a little confused by your post, but I'm assuming you called the police officer over to the car. I don't see a problem with that.

There was no reason for you to stay around for 15-20 minutes for her to come outside. THAT'S where you stuck your nose into the situation and should have minded your own business and allowed the officer to take care of it.

 

[PrincessTiffany]

At first I thought you were joking, then I read the rest of your posts and realized you really mean this?????

Tinkermom23, if you want a good read, just click on the link to all of her older, previous posts about her "free range" parenting style. It will blow your mind! And no, I am not joking . . .

 

[nchulka]

Tinkermom23, if you want a good read, just click on the link to all of her older, previous posts about her "free range" parenting style. It will blow your mind! And no, I am not joking . . .

I have taught my kids to be capable and care for themselves just like parents have done for thousands of years and continue to do in the majority of the world. I'm sorry that you and so many others in America have been brainwashed into thinking you must coddle and protect your children from every conceivable danger out there in the world no matter how small. In the end my kids can take care of themselves, we'll see how the rest of this overprotected, can't do anything by yourself generation turns out. My guess is it won't be pretty!

I'm done with this thread now, it's really sad Kids in the jungle are using machetes at 5 and climbing trees in bare feet to chop coconuts for their families but American children at 5 can't use blunt end safety scissors without supervision or even sit in a car alone

 

[Alesia]

I have taught my kids to be capable and care for themselves just like parents have done for thousands of years and continue to do in the majority of the world. I'm sorry that you and so many others in America have been brainwashed into thinking you must coddle and protect your children from every conceivable danger out there in the world no matter how small. In the end my kids can take care of themselves, we'll see how the rest of this overprotected, can't do anything by yourself generation turns out. My guess is it won't be pretty!

I'm done with this thread now, it's really sad Kids in the jungle are using machetes at 5 and climbing trees in bare feet to chop coconuts for their families but American children at 5 can't use blunt end safety scissors without supervision or even sit in a car alone

You seem to be working under a false dichotomy. There's plenty of middle ground.

 

[crashbb]

I'm done with this thread now, it's really sad Kids in the jungle are using machetes at 5 and climbing trees in bare feet to chop coconuts for their families but American children at 5 can't use blunt end safety scissors without supervision or even sit in a car alone

And what is the life expectancy in the jungle? What is the life expectancy ni the US?

 

[tinkermom23]

I have taught my kids to be capable and care for themselves just like parents have done for thousands of years and continue to do in the majority of the world. I'm sorry that you and so many others in America have been brainwashed into thinking you must coddle and protect your children from every conceivable danger out there in the world no matter how small. In the end my kids can take care of themselves, we'll see how the rest of this overprotected, can't do anything by yourself generation turns out. My guess is it won't be pretty!

I'm done with this thread now, it's really sad Kids in the jungle are using machetes at 5 and climbing trees in bare feet to chop coconuts for their families but American children at 5 can't use blunt end safety scissors without supervision or even sit in a car alone

I too, am teaching my children to become capable and to care for themselves. Does that mean that we will be spending the weekend teaching our 5 year olds how to properly use a machete and gather our food in the forest? Not a chance. They are 5 and we want them to enjoy their childhoods.
There must be a way to teach our children to be capable and independent without jeopardizing their safety and well-being at every turn, keeping in mind that they are indeed children.

 

[mjkacmom]

I mostly feel sorry for that poor little girl. First, left alone in the car, then have the police there (but that part is a good thing), and then having to listen to a crazy loony scream at her mom. I don't know how a vocal tirade could make this situation better.

 

[ccgirl]

Let me tell you my story...When my DD was 5 she was sick. I had to go to CVS to get her prescription. She was finally asleep in the car. As she was asleep and ill, I locked her in the car to run in and get her prescription. It was neither too hot or too cold out. I was in and at the register in less than 5 minutes. When I was at the register I heard my car alarm going off and a woman ran in ranting and raving that some lunatic mother left her daughter in the car and she was scared so she was trying to help. I ran out and there was my DD crying. She said she was sound asleep when the woman opened the car door and tried to steal her. I know the woman wasn't trying to steal her but that's what my DD thought. Now by this time, she was throwing up because she was so upset and sick. The car was not running. Personally, I would never leave the child in the running car. They could hit the shift stick by accident and the car could go in motion.

What would I have done in that situation, I would have waited a few minutes to make sure the child was safe. If it was too hot and the windows were all up or the child was there for more than 15 minutes, I would either go to customer service in the store or call the police. I would not stay to give the other mom a piece of my mind. The DIS is full of judgemental parents lately who think their poop doesn't stink.

 

[pacrosby]

I've been guilty of leaving my children at 5 in a car for 5 minutes to run into a store. I never understood the logic behind lugging every one in for a quick errand (I had 4 kids in 5 yrs). Even when they were infants I routinely did the unthinkable and left them in their carseats in the car at a gas station if I had to run in for 45 seconds to pay. Funny how sometimes I get accused of being a helicopter parent while at other times I am just so darn neglectful

Regarding this particular situation....if it truly was more than 15 minutes that may have been a bit of a stretch but who am I to say. Perhaps the mom thought the child was safer in the car because of the dog. And whether or not leaving the car on was a good idea really depends on the child. A lot of 5 year olds can certainly be trusted not to climb into the driver seat and fiddle with the controls.