How do you bury a child? :(

[MataHari22]

My brother died when he was only 20 and I know my parents have never been the same. My brother and I were both born with Fanconi Anemia, the median life span is around 30. It's an extremely rare genetic illness and we try and support one another in our FAmily (FAmily is what we call our community of Fanconi Anemia Families). This week alone, two more little children, have died. They were only like 2 and 4 years old. It is always hard to lose friends to cancer or illness, but it is particularly hard to watch these parents bury their little children. It wears on my faith, I just don't understand.

 

[Lsdolphin]

I almost couldn't even open the thread. It's just too hard to even think about.

I imagine you do what you have to because what is the choice?

You crawl into your bed and don't get out or you just keep putting one foot in front of the other...everyone else moves on with their lives. The world keeps turning and you remain frozen in time.

 

[BigAlsGal]

I had to bury my first child just a little before his first birthday due to a misdiagnosed intestinal defect. That was 16 years ago. I honestly don't know how I made it. I remember the deafening sounds of my own internal screams. I remember wanting to run. Forever and ever until my body just gave out. I remember being so tired but being unable to let myself fall asleep. My dreams of him were vivid and real and I was continuously trying to save him.

It's more horrifying than you could ever imagine and there's more that I could never put into words. I know it's not something I could ever do again. I've learned to build walls around those memories to protect myself and carry on with life but every now and then I take the walls down and let the flood hit me. So I don't forget.

The good news is it's possible to make it out of that nightmare and have a good life. It's just a hard road and you have to work to keep moving in a positive direction.

 

[Skippy918]

I am so sorry for those that have lost children. It's one of my biggest fears. My niece battled cancer (osteosarcoma) and I have no idea how my SIL and BIL coped. Luckily she's in remission, but who knows what the long term effects of the meds are and the chances of the same cancer coming back. I try not to dwell on the what ifs.

 

[mummabear]

I had to bury my first child just a little before his first birthday due to a misdiagnosed intestinal defect. That was 16 years ago. I honestly don't know how I made it. I remember the deafening sounds of my own internal screams. I remember wanting to run. Forever and ever until my body just gave out. I remember being so tired but being unable to let myself fall asleep. My dreams of him were vivid and real and I was continuously trying to save him.

It's more horrifying than you could ever imagine and there's more that I could never put into words. I know it's not something I could ever do again. I've learned to build walls around those memories to protect myself and carry on with life but every now and then I take the walls down and let the flood hit me. So I don't forget.

The good news is it's possible to make it out of that nightmare and have a good life. It's just a hard road and you have to work to keep moving in a positive direction.

 

[mummabear]

When my middle DD was 5 weeks old, she spent some time in the hospital, a good friend of mine was also there with her 2nd who had been born 2 weeks after DD.
He came home for palitive care and passed away just before he turned 9 months.
His funeral is the most heart wreatching thing I have ever witnessed, thank god the older kids didn't understand and were running around playing tag, it was the only distraction that could stop the sobs so you could actually breath.

 

[Octoberbeauty]

I lost my daughter in a house fire. She was also 7. You do the only thing you can do. Take it day by day and sometimes second by second. I have been broken down that low. Life can still be good though. It will never be the same, but there is still some happiness on this journey.

I'm so sorry for their loss and it's affect on you as well.

 

[bethy]

Losing a child IS an awful experience and one I would not wish on anyone. However, having to tell your child they are going to die is even worse.

BIG HUGS I am so terribly sorry for you loss.

 

[King Schultz]

I lost my daughter in a house fire. She was also 7. You do the only thing you can do. Take it day by day and sometimes second by second. I have been broken down that low. Life can still be good though. It will never be the same, but there is still some happiness on this journey.

I'm so sorry for their loss and it's affect on you as well.

Again. I have no words. . .

(((hugs)))

 

[clori]

I don't have personal experience with young children passing away. I did have a wood shop teacher in 8th grade who lost a son who was a baby or toddler. Since it was winter and the ground was frozen the father decided to make his son's coffin which I saw daily during shop class. We were not the best class but no one would ever do anything to disrespect the coffin. We had a substitute one day who said things on the idea that it was not acceptable to have students make a coffin then went to touch it and people were yelling at her to stop before she could. Then she went to the stain room which had a phone. She called the office and told them we were all mean to her. The principal came up and when he found out what happened he thanked the class and told the substitute her day was over.

When my mil passed away in her 60s I think the hardest part was staying with her mother, my husband's grandmother who was 88 while dh, his brother and father went to make funeral arrangements. I will never forget her cries of how a mother is never supposed to outlive her children. She was so devasted that she didn't even realize until a few days later after I left that I didn't bring my 12 month old with me. Instead I had opted to leave her with my brother so I could devote time to Great Gram.

 

[IDoDis]

I had to bury my first child just a little before his first birthday due to a misdiagnosed intestinal defect. That was 16 years ago. I honestly don't know how I made it. I remember the deafening sounds of my own internal screams. I remember wanting to run. Forever and ever until my body just gave out. I remember being so tired but being unable to let myself fall asleep. My dreams of him were vivid and real and I was continuously trying to save him.

It's more horrifying than you could ever imagine and there's more that I could never put into words. I know it's not something I could ever do again. I've learned to build walls around those memories to protect myself and carry on with life but every now and then I take the walls down and let the flood hit me. So I don't forget.

The good news is it's possible to make it out of that nightmare and have a good life. It's just a hard road and you have to work to keep moving in a positive direction.

I cannot even imagine that emotional pain. I'm so very sorry for your loss and for everyone on this thread who has lost a child. My heart goes out to you.

 

[Keli]

My nephew passed in June of osteosarcoma and I have been shocked at how well my sister and bil have been coping. I don't mean that they aren't having very rough times or that they aren't struggling but they do seem to be moving through the stages of grief.

 

[Nancyg56]

I just recently started mentioning here on the boards that my son died from leukemia. It was 10 months from the time of diagnosis to when he passed. As a family, we were blindsided and are still in a state of shock almost 2 years later. My son was completely involved in his care from Day 1 and his doctors, nurses, and caregivers were so impressed with his knowledge, bravery, strength, and resilience. He was closest to me and when the last treatment failed I couldn't not tell him, he already knew. September is Pediatric Cancer Awareness month. If you are interested in supporting pediatric cancer research, I recommend donating to http://curesearch.org
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I am so very sorry.

 

[Nancyg56]

I lost my daughter in a house fire. She was also 7. You do the only thing you can do. Take it day by day and sometimes second by second. I have been broken down that low. Life can still be good though. It will never be the same, but there is still some happiness on this journey.

I'm so sorry for their loss and it's affect on you as well.

I remember.

 

[Lsdolphin]

This was sent to me by a friend.

 

[Aliceacc]

My sincere sympathies.

The inevitable loss of students is, hands down, the worst part of teaching. And it tears our hearts down each and every time it happens.

 

[jerseygal]

I just recently started mentioning here on the boards that my son died from leukemia. It was 10 months from the time of diagnosis to when he passed. As a family, we were blindsided and are still in a state of shock almost 2 years later. My son was completely involved in his care from Day 1 and his doctors, nurses, and caregivers were so impressed with his knowledge, bravery, strength, and resilience. He was closest to me and when the last treatment failed I couldn't not tell him, he already knew. September is Pediatric Cancer Awareness month. If you are interested in supporting pediatric cancer research, I recommend donating to http://curesearch.org
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May GOD BLESS you and your family with continued strength. SO SORRY for your loss.

 

[jerseygal]

Learned this summer about two classmates from a district that we formerly lived in from elementary school of our younger son. VERY SADLY, these two boys, only 21 had passed away; my heart aches for their parents.

 

[mom2rtk]

I want to respond to the posters who have shared their very personal and painful stories here. But everything I think to say just seems inadequate.

So I'll leave it at God bless you and your families. My heart hurts for each of you.

 

[3Gsandme]

I just recently started mentioning here on the boards that my son died from leukemia. It was 10 months from the time of diagnosis to when he passed. As a family, we were blindsided and are still in a state of shock almost 2 years later. My son was completely involved in his care from Day 1 and his doctors, nurses, and caregivers were so impressed with his knowledge, bravery, strength, and resilience. He was closest to me and when the last treatment failed I couldn't not tell him, he already knew. September is Pediatric Cancer Awareness month. If you are interested in supporting pediatric cancer research, I recommend donating to http://curesearch.org
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I'm so sorry.