I'll pray for you......

[DisneyOma]

I'm thinking of Mark Jackson, the former NBA player/coach and now on ESPN/ABC as part of their #1 announcing crew of Mike Green, Jeff Van Gundy, and Jackson. He was well known for being the pastor of his own church in addition to his basketball duties. When NBA player Jason Collins came out publicly as a gay man, he kind of said something he wishes that he could have taken back.

I will say this. We live in a country that allows you to be whoever you want to be. As a Christian man, I serve a God that gives you free will to be who you want to be. As a Christian man, I have beliefs of what’s right and what’s wrong. That being said, I know Jason Collins, I know his family, and am certainly praying for them at this time.​

It may have been taken the wrong way. However, it's not typically for people around here to say "I'm praying for you" even if they're devoutly religious. Apparently after he got fired from his coaching job with the Warriors, he left the meeting (where he was told he was fired) telling a team executive/owner's son "I'm praying for you". I guess it's kind of hard to read what that means. It could very well have been a meaning of good wishes, or it could have been a meaning that he felt he'd did wrong and wished mercy on his soul. It can really be difficult to understand what someone means. I'd think a simple "I wish you well" would say enough if the meaning is good wishes without any of the possible baggage of bringing "prayer" into the conversation.

See, I know exactly what he meant - and it was said in a negative, pompous way. You only have to pray for someone who needs God's help/guidance, right? It's for someone who is sick, or who has made a bad decision. Why pray for someone who has the God stuff all set? So, he was saying he thought those people made a bad decision, in his view. Interesting how he reflected being fired onto someone's son - was he cursing the family?

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

what do you say when someone tells you that.

Happened this morning. I got of traveling for work so I was able to bring my daughter to school (preschool) and meet her new teacher since I was not in town for orientation. The lady who greets everyone at the front desk is very annoying and lectures parents about their kids (lectured my wife that my daughter should not dance so much......). I walk in with my daughter and drop her off to her room. While walking out, she makes a snarky remark that all parents should be present for orientation. I told her I was traveling for work but got all the information from my wife. She says "oh your poor wife all alone while you travel the world". Keep in mind I was in Colorado, not exactly international. Then she says "I will pray for you". Thank goodness my daughter already went to class. I said "no thanks, I don't need a prayer". This set her off. She says "why are you angry with god". Remember, this is not a Christian school. They don't do prayer there and do not teach the Bible. I tell her she has no right to lecture people on religion, especially at a preschool. She rolled her eyes and laughed while walking away. Should I report her or let it slide.

I'd report her. She was way out of line. And If she were working for me, she in fact would not be working for me. No way anyone should be treating customers like that. She wasn't going to genuinely pray for you. She was just being a condescending witch.

 

[bcla]

See, I know exactly what he meant - and it was said in a negative, pompous way. You only have to pray for someone who needs God's help/guidance, right? It's for someone who is sick, or who has made a bad decision. Why pray for someone who has the God stuff all set? So, he was saying he thought those people made a bad decision, in his view. Interesting how he reflected being fired onto someone's son - was he cursing the family?

There were all sorts of things that went on after that. One of the allegations was that the team President (in charge of business operations) was gay and wanted him out. Another was that some of the players weren't too happy with how much he injected his own religion into the team. However, the most likely reason was because they didn't see the team progressing to the point where they would challenge for an NBA championship.

It did occur to me that he might have simply meant it the same as someone saying "I wish you well", but it's kind of hard to figure out since it's a statement with several possible meanings. Mark Jackson used it so routinely that it became rather difficult to figure out what he meant.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

Tone and circumstances matter a lot when it comes to this sort of thing, IMO.

If someone says "I'll pray for you" upon finding out I'm sick or a family member has died or some other negative thing has happened, I assume they mean well and don't find it bothersome in the least. It's a nice gesture even if it's pretty meaningless to me personally.

If someone says "I'll pray for you" upon finding out my religious/political affiliations or some other personal aspect of my life I'm perfectly happy with and isn't really any of their business anyway, I assume they're a passive-aggressive jerk and will tell them to save their prayers for someone who cares.

The person in the original post sounds more like the latter to me.

In my experience, I have rarely if ever heard, "I'll pray for you" come out of someone's mouth in Good context. Usually if I or a family member is sick or the like, the phrase is usually, "we'll keep him, her or you in our prayers." or "I'll pray for him, her, you to get well." or something like that. "I'll pray for you" not accompanied with a to get well or the like usually comes out in sarcasm condescendingly in my experience.

 

[luvsJack]

See, I know exactly what he meant - and it was said in a negative, pompous way. You only have to pray for someone who needs God's help/guidance, right? It's for someone who is sick, or who has made a bad decision. Why pray for someone who has the God stuff all set? So, he was saying he thought those people made a bad decision, in his view. Interesting how he reflected being fired onto someone's son - was he cursing the family?

No it's not just for those who are sick or made a bad decision. And I don't even know what "has this God stuff all set" means.

Prayers can be meant for those going through a trying time for whatever reason. Doesn't mean they are wrong or have done anything wrong. It can be for those that have a tough decision to make. It can be for those who have made a tough decision and have to deal with the consequences of that decision, not as a judgement of that decision.

Keeping someone in your prayers can be for a million different things, the least of which is bad intentions toward that person or family.

 

[luvsJack]

In my experience, I have rarely if ever heard, "I'll pray for you" come out of someone's mouth in Good context. Usually if I or a family member is sick or the like, the phrase is usually, "we'll keep him, her or you in our prayers." or "I'll pray for him, her, you to get well." or something like that. "I'll pray for you" not accompanied with a to get well or the like usually comes out in sarcasm condescendingly in my experience.

I am sorry that has been your experience. It seems to me that anyone that uses it in the manner you believe them to is hardly a praying person. Honestly I can't imagine a conversation where the phrase would even fit in a sarcastic manner. I mean even if a person wants to pray for someone because of a difference in beliefs, it's really not necessary to tell them you are praying for them.

Like I said previously, there are many reasons to remember someone in prayer. Illness is not the only one it's just where it's heard the most.

 

[DisneyOma]

No it's not just for those who are sick or made a bad decision. And I don't even know what "has this God stuff all set" means.

Prayers can be meant for those going through a trying time for whatever reason. Doesn't mean they are wrong or have done anything wrong. It can be for those that have a tough decision to make. It can be for those who have made a tough decision and have to deal with the consequences of that decision, not as a judgement of that decision.

Keeping someone in your prayers can be for a million different things, the least of which is bad intentions toward that person or family.

Isn't a trying time exactly what I described? Either a sickness, or having to make a decision that is going to result in consequences - you actually backed up what I stated. And offering the prayer means you have judged the situation - you have decided it is difficult and in need of your input. If the consequences were, in you opinion, good, then why offer the prayer?

Some people don't need the prayer stuff to settle with God. It can be offensive to be offered a prayer, IMO, if your relationship with God is private and one to one. I have my God stuff all set, as in, I don't need a bible or a preacher or a church to tell me how my relationship is supposed to be with God, or what God says. No one needs to butt in or translate. That's what I meant - all set with God, don't need anyone else's input. So, offering a prayer can say that the person offering it has butted in to a private relationship that they should keep their nose out of, insinuating that their beliefs are the ones that count.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

I am sorry that has been your experience. It seems to me that anyone that uses it in the manner you believe them to is hardly a praying person. Honestly I can't imagine a conversation where the phrase would even fit in a sarcastic manner. I mean even if a person wants to pray for someone because of a difference in beliefs, it's really not necessary to tell them you are praying for them.

Like I said previously, there are many reasons to remember someone in prayer. Illness is not the only one it's just where it's heard the most.

I don't make assumptions about whether they're normally a praying person or not. But I doubt those that use it in that manner are genuinely going to pray for me. That last time someone said it to me, apparently they thought they owned the parking space I pulled into.

 

[luvsJack]

Isn't a trying time exactly what I described? Either a sickness, or having to make a decision that is going to result in consequences - you actually backed up what I stated. And offering the prayer means you have judged the situation - you have decided it is difficult and in need of your input. If the consequences were, in you opinion, good, then why offer the prayer?

Some people don't need the prayer stuff to settle with God. It can be offensive to be offered a prayer, IMO, if your relationship with God is private and one to one. I have my God stuff all set, as in, I don't need a bible or a preacher or a church to tell me how my relationship is supposed to be with God, or what God says. No one needs to butt in or translate. That's what I meant - all set with God, don't need anyone else's input. So, offering a prayer can say that the person offering it has butted in to a private relationship that they should keep their nose out of, insinuating that their beliefs are the ones that count.

A family or person can be in a situation where they make the best decision they can make for them and still have consequences. Praying for them doesn't mean you are judging their choice. It means you are praying for the person or family to have peace in their life and with the choice they made. Also you do realize that "consequences" aren't just bad, right?

For example, a kid choosing a college is a choice. There are pros and cons in every choice. If I offered my prayers, it doesn't mean I think they chose the wrong college. Just that I pray the pros in their choice will begin to outweigh any and all cons and that they are at peace with their choice. The consequences could be that they end up with a great education but have to go far from home. Not bad consequences just something to deal with.

Sometimes things happen through no decision made but just by circumstance. Prayers may be offered to give them peace and security in whatever they are dealing with.

Offereing to pray for someone has nothing to do with judging.

Prayers are not just for fixing something.

You can say prayers of thanks for them too. You can say rejoicing prayers for them when things have turned around for them.

You are choosing to see it as judgemental when it's not at all.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Well, it can be argued from now until Kingdom Come...
Some people will not let it go. They will try to justify anything to make them feel better about their beliefs.

In this case, in this thread... It was most certainly a self-ingrandizment. A very very negative judgment.
One that was very very inappropriate and unfounded.

What makes any human being feel that they have the right and power?

If somebody wants to pray for every single person they meet, with the best of intentions, then hey, go for it.
The minute you tell somebody that you really haven't even met that you will pray for them... Then, IMHO, it is very negative and self-serving and disingenuous.

Like the comparison between the person who gave, a lot, in a very public way, And the woman who gave a pittance, in secret, out of the goodness of her heart.

 

[disykat]

self aggrandizement. I just learned a new word!

I'm not joking or being sarcastic - I love it when I run across new words! I can already think of a bunch of ways (well, mainly one way) to use it.

 

[phamton]

Context matters. This was nothing like a sneeze and it certainly doesn't appear to have been said with good intentions.

I'd still say "thanks" and move on.

 

[DisneyOma]

A family or person can be in a situation where they make the best decision they can make for them and still have consequences. Praying for them doesn't mean you are judging their choice. It means you are praying for the person or family to have peace in their life and with the choice they made. Also you do realize that "consequences" aren't just bad, right?

For example, a kid choosing a college is a choice. There are pros and cons in every choice. If I offered my prayers, it doesn't mean I think they chose the wrong college. Just that I pray the pros in their choice will begin to outweigh any and all cons and that they are at peace with their choice. The consequences could be that they end up with a great education but have to go far from home. Not bad consequences just something to deal with.

Sometimes things happen through no decision made but just by circumstance. Prayers may be offered to give them peace and security in whatever they are dealing with.

Offereing to pray for someone has nothing to do with judging.

Prayers are not just for fixing something.

You can say prayers of thanks for them too. You can say rejoicing prayers for them when things have turned around for them.

You are choosing to see it as judgemental when it's not at all.

I guess I'm not seeing the need for a prayer to pick a college? Why do they need a prayer to God for peace?

Also, I'm also seeing the person offering the prayer making the statement that they need to ask God for the other person. You do realize that it is judgmental to think you can offer that word in to God over someone else? That's the privacy part I mentioned, that some people don't need that input from someone else. Prayers can be invasive.

 

[perditax]

'I'll pray for you' doesn't seem far removed from 'bless your heart' or 'I feel sorry for you', so I can see how it would be easy to misinterpret (or to use in a passive-aggressive way).

Maybe, if someone is a stranger, it's okay to keep your personal beliefs personal.

(Also, a side request ... if you work with strangers in public, such as being a cashier or sales person, please don't tell me to have a blessed day. Whatever deity you've chosen, they don't need to be part of our financial transaction.)

 

[luvsJack]

I guess I'm not seeing the need for a prayer to pick a college? Why do they need a prayer to God for peace?

Also, I'm also seeing the person offering the prayer making the statement that they need to ask God for the other person. You do realize that it is judgmental to think you can offer that word in to God over someone else? That's the privacy part I mentioned, that some people don't need that input from someone else. Prayers can be invasive.

If it is an agonizing choice for the kid or of the parents are hoping for a different choice. Whatever makes it an issue for that family. It was just an example of something that is a decision without a right or wrong choice.

I don't think I can offer a word in to God OVER someone else. It's not like saying "I will put on a good word for you".

Not sure how me saying "please give the Smith family the strength and tools they need to get through this trying time" is invasive?

WOAS is right, the woman in the OP seemed to have other than good intentions with the phrase but I do not believe that is the way it is normally meant. I just don't get this "let's be offended by anything anyone says about anything" mentality.