Let’s be friends

[disneychrista]

Is it the guy from the thread awhile back whose mother died? Sorry - I know this is totally NOMB but I’m not really into social media too much and I’m unclear on how vague-booking works.

It took my like 5 minutes to figure out what NOMB meant and have no clue what "vauge-booking" is/means. So you are more up on things than me.

Okay since I broke my own rule of not posting about my relationships/personal life anymore I will give you / everyone the full story to psycho-analyze & pick apart. Because hey it's the DIS and that's what we do.

Yes, this is the same guy and a lot has changed since I have posted about my relationship with him.

A couple weeks ago he decided it would be easier ("not hurt as much") to step back now and just be friends again. He is leaving the country for 2 months (leaves today) and is/was moving from the area this summer. And it has always been known that when he does move that we would remain friends but that we would not be doing a long distance relationship.

So over the past couple we still talked/texted but nothing ever really changed in our relationship, other than we were supposed to be "just friends." Last night was the first time we had seen each other since that conversation. It is not unusual for us to go a couple weeks without seeing each other in person. We meet for dinner to say goodbye before his trip. During our dinner conversation he tells me that he bought a house and that he is not leaving this summer.

As we were saying goodbye he leans into kiss me and when I tell him that friends don't kiss goodbye, he tells me that we aren't just friends.

 

[Sjm9911]

Ok ,im a guy . It sounds fishy to me. If he was not leaving, and wanted a relationship, he would have stated it earlier. Seems as if something or someone didnt work out like he planned and now you are the backup plan. Buying a house takes time and isnt a couple of week thing. So he knew he was staying when he talked to you 2 weeks ago. Why didnt he mention that? Just my opinion. And i know nothing about what you posted except on this thread. Do , what you want, and have fun doing it. Just keep in mind that all is probably not how it seems.

 

[Dumbo777]

Yes, I think you can be.

 

[ronandannette]

@disneychrista I hope whatever “it” is works out the way you want it to. The only comment I’ll make on your post is that I hope you don’t feel like he is entirely in charge of defining the relationship according to his own whims and controlling your response/reaction. Figure out what you want and put it out there honestly. You’re both either in or your not. I wish you well.

 

[amberpi]

@disneychrista - I just want to wish you good luck. Dating is tricky, fun, hard, frustrating, fun, and hard. Navigating it isn't easy. I know.

 

[disneychrista]

@disneychrista The only comment I’ll make on your post is that I hope you don’t feel like he is entirely in charge of defining the relationship according to his own whims and controlling your response/reaction. Figure out what you want and put it out there honestly. You’re both either in or your not. I wish you well.

Thank you. And Yes when he gets back we will definitely need to have a conversation and figure things out, last night was not the time. Us not being able to be "just friends" doesn't necessarily mean that things can just go back to the way they were, either.

@disneychrista - I just want to wish you good luck.

Thank you.

 

[disneychrista]

Ok ,im a guy . It sounds fishy to me. If he was not leaving, and wanted a relationship, he would have stated it earlier. Seems as if something or someone didnt work out like he planned and now you are the backup plan. Buying a house takes time and isnt a couple of week thing. So he knew he was staying when he talked to you 2 weeks ago. Why didnt he mention that? Just my opinion. And i know nothing about what you posted except on this thread. Do , what you want, and have fun doing it. Just keep in mind that all is probably not how it seems.

Everything you are saying is very possible. But I don't think so. He has been trying to figure out what he was doing when he came back. He was only here temporarily to take care of his mother. Now that she is gone, he has been trying to figure out what the next chapter of his life was. I think the house is his next "project" and he will stay as long as it takes to fix it up.

His brother is a realtor, so I am assuming he is taking care of details while he is away. We didn't really talk too much about the house, other than it keeping here for awhile longer.