This has been the case for everyone I know that has a pool. I grew up in NC, but we had an inground pool. Our family used it constantly the first 3 summers. After that, we mostly used it, when we had friends over. That was fairly frequent, because we had the only pool in the area. It almost became a burden, because my sister closest to my age & I would have to spend the day in the pool anytime anyone in the neighborhood wanted to come over to swim. (I'm a Southerner, we're not good at saying no.
) After we all moved out, my parents filled the pool with dirt. It became part of the yard. DH, DS & I have lived in 3 communities that had community pools. When we used the pool, we were usually alone. The only time it was ever crowded was when a resident had a pool party. We know several people that spend a lot of money maintaining their pool, just to keep it looking nice. They rarely use it.
OP, I can understand really wanting a pool. We couldn't wait to get our pool, when I was growing up. IME, the odds of not getting tired of it are very low. Knowing what I do, I would never buy a home with a pool, unless I planned to sell it in a couple of years. People aren't trying to be negative. They're just speaking from experience. A community pool is a nice option though.
As far as salt water pools go, my only experience with them is on cruise ships. You couldn't give me a salt water pool. I won't use them. You have the burning eyes, without the advantage of being in the ocean. Admittedly, people with more experience could offer better advice on that.