OT Parenting Question: Do you let your kids skip school. "just because"?

[MamaJinji]

Growing up, I was not allowed to take off school unless I was sick enough to require a doctor. And for the most part, I'll stick with that for my son. That said, I wouldn't mind him choosing the occasional day off, given good grades and behavior. But probably not just to play a game. Definitely make sure he's not missing anything important, like a test or whatever.

 

[RMColosimo]

Heh. My wife is a HS Science Teacher, and she works in a different district than our three girls. She actually let the girls stay home a few weeks ago when she had a snow day and they did not. My middle daughter came home with so much homework, she vowed to not miss another day of school.

But to give kids with good grades a day off, even to play video games, sure why not. It can't be the norm, but once a year or so, I don't see the harm in it.

 

[aaarcher86]

On rare occasion, sure. For something like your son, I would.

Obviously, they need to be in good standing grade and attitude wise though.

 

[WDW Traveler]

Others may not agree with me but my answer would be no. I've try to instill good work ethic in my DD17 now, attending school, so when she is an adult, working full time, she can earn and take mental health days off. My DH and I are not ones that call in because we just don't fell like going to work. Yes, we take personal/vacation days off that we have earned and have a right to take (and part of what we have earned has to be taken or we lose it), but we take them mostly because we have something planned. My DD is in the 11th grade and has only missed 2 days of school her entire school career thus far because of a nasty virus. She gets little colds and has allergies, but she has never been very sick (being sick and taking a mental health day are very different though, but thank goodness we are lucky). We decided when she was starting public school (1st grade) we would no longer take vacations on the off season and we now take them on school vacations or over the summer so DD doesn't miss school. DD is a high honors student, in mostly AP & honors classes, works part time, dances, and respects school and why she goes. I am proud that she feels that way and feels school is important for a good future where you can play and take days off.

 

[Hikergirl]

We just pulled our kids out of school for a week to go on vacation and since they were unexcused absences I would say no. Next year, sure why not.

 

[daisyduck123]

Yes...about once a marking period.

**I'm a public school teacher (25 years now). My kids each have also missed 30 days of school over the years for WDW trips. Oh & that means ME TOO!

 

[Bubblegum1286]

My son is only in 2nd grade, but my rule is if he ASKS to skip school in the morning, then he automatically goes.

I'm totally ok with mental health days, but I don't think they should be expected and I feel like they should come out of the blue, too - a surprise for a job well done. In your case, I wouldn't have let him stay home to play video games (or recover from playing video games). Maybe if it had been discussed BEFORE it happened (not just I was up late and want to keep playing so don't want to go now) I'd be more lenient.

Oh I totally agree. I homeschool my eldest, but the younger two are in public school. One week one of my kids had bronchitis and had missed a lot of school, and the youngest came in and fake coughed and said, "I need to stay home." My rule is if you ask or tell me to keep you home, you're going (and if I could send you for longer, I would!) Maybe I'm an ogre in that way.

To the OP: I don't know. I wouldn't do it for now since he asked, but I might surprise him in a month out of the blue and ask him if he'd like to take a mental health day and stay home. As long as there are no other absences and his grades are good. My thing is, yes, it's great that his grades are good and he hasn't missed school, but that's just a general expectation we should have of all of our kids. Do your best and go to school. Study. Be respectful to your teachers. It's just kind of part of their job as young citizens. We can't all get rewarded just because we do our dishes everyday or haven't rear-ended someone in traffic. You know what I mean? But sometimes a break is nice. So I don't know that I'd support his argument that it should be served up as a reward for his status-quo good behavior, but as a surprise maybe.

 

[texasroni75]

Where we live right now, unexcused absences (basically anything without a doctor's note) are highly frowned upon - because schools get their funding based on attendance. And, in middle and high school, several times of being just a minute late to class equals an unexcused absence. You'd be surprised how quick it can add up with just a few "real" sick days. So, no, I don't allow my kids to stay home unless they have a fever, vomiting, etc.

When we lived in a more lenient school district, I still wouldn't let them play hooky because DH and I both worked full time and didn't like them home alone all day, even when they reached the age where I could legally do so. Just asking for trouble LOL.

 

[Chelley00]

Rarely, but I have and I would, depending. If the grades are outstanding, the behavior at home and school are both good, things are doing okay, I might let someone stay home, especially since I'm off on Fridays and would be home with them all day. It really depends on what's going on at home and at school and if it seems like someone might need to blow off steam.

 

[RoosMama]

My gut reaction is no for a video game. However, we all skipped school (principal included iirc!) for the premiere of Star Wars.

 

[TristiK]

Well, I'm a teacher so I'll bet you can guess my answer!

 

[missbrooke06]

Not there yet but if my kids were on the right path, I'd let them have a mental health day. My mom used to let me in high school, especially if it was a Monday after I put in a Friday night shift and two full day shifts at my job (my employer wasn't super into child labor laws).

 

[Claire&TheBoys]

Nope. My opinion is that, at least in our district, they get plenty of school days off for holidays, teacher workdays and the like, and those are their "mental health days." Just since we started back after Christmas break, my kids have had 5 days off: a day for the teachers to do 1st-semester grades, 2 workshop days (one in Jan, one in Feb), MLK Day and Presidents Day.

Of course, I'm the parent that if one of my kids says he doesn't feel good and wants to stay home but has no fever, no vomiting, no definable symptoms, he's allowed to stay home but all electronic devices are taken away and TV is not allowed. I call it "mystery illness" and it is cured by a day of rest in bed and books only. It typically only lasts one day.

I will say that one day last year my oldest was not going on a fun end-of-the-year trip (all the slots were filled before I remembered to give him the form to sign up) and I let him skip that day and stay home. Almost all the other 7th graders were going and he would have been shuffled to other classes for the day, not his regular ones, and I thought that was pointless and almost like punishing him for not getting to go on the trip.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

I can't say I've never done it, but generally speaking we don't do this. I can't think of a time we let a child skip school when they weren't sick, but that doesn't mean it hasn't happened.

Staying home to play a video game? No.

 

[Kacedia]

We homeschool now, but when they were in public school, we took one "brain break day" a semester. It was unscheduled, and very evident to me as their mother on when they needed it. However, my kids NEVER get sick, so we were always within the allotted number of unexcused absences for the district. Made a world of difference for them.

 

[scrapquitler]

I already know my answer to this - But Since DS16 (almost 17) has badgered all night and got an answer he didn't like, I want to check in here with all my mouse friends to see if I am as strict and as he says I am being...

I am interested to know if other parents let your kids skip school "just because"? I say no. It's not how I was brought up, and unless you are sick or dying - you go to school. That is where i am at. DH doesn't agree. And DS really doesn't agree. DS is a very responsible almost 17 year old. He argues that he hasn't missed a day of school since our WDW vacation in November. He makes honor roll, works part time and is a good kid (despite his typical teenage attitude he displays on occasion). That's his beef.

Update: I left out the reason he wanted to skip was to stay up late and play a new PS4 game that was being released at midnight. And all day the next day.

To me, skipping should be saved for something more important. But I'm very interested to know what others opinions and beliefs are in this! TIA!

In high school I did allow my DD to skip school 'for no reason' about once or twice a year, as long as she wasn't close to the attendance policy limit, and her grades weren't below my standard (which meant honor roll level). When she did it, I do know that once it was because we had gone to a midnight movie, another time we had gotten home very late after a trip and there was a point where she was just exhausted, burned out and needed a day off.

The way I see it is this: as an adult, most of our jobs allow us personal days or floating vacation days that we can use when we please. This is no different. My husband has been known to take a day off to go to a baseball game, or I've taken a day near Christmas to do holiday shopping and preparations. Sometimes we just need a break. A reasonable once or twice a year day off when there's nothing pressing pending, why not?

 

[MamaBelle4]

Yes. My oldest is only in first grade and I've let her miss 2/3 days overall as mental health days. We spent those days baking, playing games and snuggling. She does a good job at school and she dances 3 nights a week. She needs a day here and there to just be a 7 year old. School starts so early (middle of August) and loses a large part of her vacation to snow days the school doesn't plan accordingly for. She's lost Easter vacation for the second year in a row. They have months where they haven't a day off, they need it occasionally.

 

[Dazzled by Disney]

Hmm. This seems like a topic that could open a can of worms around here... People have strong opinions!

My mom had the unless-you're-sick-or-dying mentality, and I, like your son, was the honor roll, AP classes, part time job kind of good kid. I wished my mom would have had just a bit more flexibility to her - letting a kid miss a day of school as a mental health day, for a single day, is not going to suddenly cancel out the honor roll, the good grades, the job... all that good-kid stuff will still be there the next morning. (Though I'd wholeheartedly agree that you don't get to skip the day there's something particularly important going on - a major exam or project due date, for example.) Basically, in schools today, there's a lot of pressure on kids (and 16-almost-17 is still just a kid!) to keep up, work hard, test well, etc. It's absolutely good practice for adulthood, when we do have to step up and be adults... but they aren't adults quite yet. To my mind, letting a kid take a day off from the daily grind won't hurt him.

So I said I'd parent with a little more flexibility, and so far, I have. But, full disclosure, my son is 6, not 16. So I'm not dealing with high school and teenage attitudes yet!

So well said. My mom never let us skip unless we were sick. On the other hand my husband was just as great a student and kid and when he would ask (every once in great while) if he could stay home "just because" she let him. And he appreciated it. He talks about to this day and I wish my own mother had done the same. Because the thing is, if someone's child is really that responsible they arent going to take advantage of a little freedom and suddnely start going downhill. My own children are still small, but I can see letting them stay home the way my mother in law did.

 

[kreckl]

So- if my child was arguing and complaining and wanting to stay home to play a video game all day- then, no. But I wouldn't be okay with playing video games all day on a Saturday either. And the argument that he hasn't missed a day since a Disney vacation in November seems silly. There was likely a Christmas break- maybe a Feb one too? At any rate there haven't been a ton of school days between Nov and now!
But- I remember very well having the chance to stay home two or three times a year, whenever I wanted. If it was a test day, no problem but I knew I would have to deal with the consequences. I was allowed to choose and could just take a break or have a special day with my Mom. I knew that I could do it, but then once those days were gone I wouldn't have any more, so decided carefully.
I'm grateful my Mom let me do this~

 

[BigAlsGal]

Yes I give them a couple "personal" days. As far as I'm concerned school is their job and just like any other job you typically get personal days so why shouldn't they get the same?