Parents of the High School Class of 2017/College 2021

[aprilgail]

They've emailed back and forth a few times. Neither cares about coordinating colors or decor. We will talk to the roommate and his parents when we get there about the boys sharing a fridge and a TV. We can pick those up easily enough at Walmart or Target.

I'm glad it's been an easy process so far. I'm making the first tuition payment on Monday. That might smart a bit!

My daughter and I will be meeting her room mate next Saturday at the Long Island/ Northeastern University kick off- they are throwing a breakfast for all the kids in this area that are going to Northeastern at a local Marriott- they have a very large meeting/party room so that is where they will have it. It will be nice to meet up with other parents of kids local to the area. There is a bus called my bus home that runs a bus from northeastern to a stop by me for each holiday and break and they need like 20 kids minimum to run the bus. My daughter and her friend signed up and then on Facebook I am on the group for Northeastern parents and I was talking to two other parents of kids from around here and mentioned the bus and they signed up so hopefully we will have enough to run the bus home!

 

[wannabee]

We drop DS off a week from today. He has a random roommate who sent him a message but I don't think they have connected yet. Dorm room decor is the last thing DS would ever think about. I have bought bedding for the Twin XL bed including a very nice mattress pad and a bed bug protector but that is pretty much it. He wants to wait and see about a fridge. He is only an hour from home and has a car and will has a Target close by. I'm sure he will find anything he needs.

He will be there for a week long Biology intensive ( class/camp/jump start to college life) and then will have over a week before school starts. I think he will be in his room for 10 days prior to the room mate arriving (unless he is signed up for a pre class week)

The thing I'm stuck on is books. He is a science major and the books are expensive. Now reading about access codes, I realize that he probably needs new books. Do we wait until he gets there to make sure all is needed or just do the simple thing and order from the Barnes and Noble on campus and he picks up when he arrives?

 

[wannabee]

oh,,,, and I paid his fee bill yesterday.... His scholarships cover tuition but the room and board are crazy. I think he will probably move off campus after the first year.

 

[laughinplace199]

One of my good friends has a DD who just finished her freshman year in college. Regarding books, her advice was to wait until the first day of class before buying anything. The first semester, they bought everything in advance and on the first day of class, many professors said not to buy a certain book because they will have handouts in class and things like that. For the second semester, she waited until she'd attended each class once so that she knew what she really needed to buy. I don't know if all schools are like this. On one hand, I want to take her advice and not buy things DD won't need, but on the other hand, I want DD to be well prepared from day one and have everything she needs.

I realize that was no help at all, but that's all I know about college books. Here's hoping someone with a clue will chime in soon!

 

[Poohforyou]

My daughter will be in a 2 bedroom 1 bath suite. She's been emailing a lot with the roommate she'll be sharing a bedroom with and they seem to have a few things in common and are looking forward to meeting each other. The roommate is from the deep south and we're from NJ. Their college is in DC.

Dd is definitely much more familiar with DC than her roommate and she's looking forward to showing her around.

Her roommate will be at the last orientation just before official move in. Dd has arranged for her to let us in the room the day before to unload dd's stuff. We'll than offer to take her with us to target to get whatever they both will need.

As for books, my dd signed up for alerts when her professors post their book lists. So far only 1 professor has done so. She thinks she'll rent that one since it isn't something she'll likely need to own - calc 3.

 

[bjscheel]

As I type, DD is on her way to meet with her 3 flatmates and have a picnic. She was nervous and excited. I feel bad for her BFF who found out who her roommate is, the other day when she was at our house. From what is on her FB and Instagram, she is very...different...and BFF has a low tolerance for certain things. I told her to think positive going in, and maybe they can just go their separate ways most of the time. But it puts a damper on things, especially when DD is feeling like she may get 3 new best friends in her roommates.

As far as books, I don't feel comfortable waiting until the first day of class, yet. At least for her first semester, I plan on her having everything listed on the site by the time classes start. The total cost is $140 so it's not a huge deal. We'll see about future semesters. She'll have a lot of the same teachers throughout so she'll learn what they tend to do about books. Her cousin gave her one book, that he said they never used, so she'll have that one for free if needed. I bought two on Amazon that I was sure matched exactly what was on the college site. The others she can buy used or rent from the campus bookstore.

 

[v.t.]

My dd who had major drama earlier over a roommate issue, has just learned that the second girl assigned to her just backed out! She moves in 10 days and is so upset!

UGH!!!

My DD hasn't even received a roommate assignment yet.

We are in the same boat. The boys will meet their roommate the day they move in. It should make for an interesting day. LOL

 

[lovin'fl]

I have a question in regards to roomates....what is the law or situation with transgender? I have twin DDs starting college next month. With them and all their friends talking about roommates as of late, I got to wondering how the universities are dealing with transgender issues? What is the law...is there a law? One of DDs friends thinks her roommate is transgender though the school did not tell her anything.

 

[Mrs. Ciz]

The thing I'm stuck on is books. He is a science major and the books are expensive. Now reading about access codes, I realize that he probably needs new books. Do we wait until he gets there to make sure all is needed or just do the simple thing and order from the Barnes and Noble on campus and he picks up when he arrives?

One of my good friends has a DD who just finished her freshman year in college. Regarding books, her advice was to wait until the first day of class before buying anything. The first semester, they bought everything in advance and on the first day of class, many professors said not to buy a certain book because they will have handouts in class and things like that. For the second semester, she waited until she'd attended each class once so that she knew what she really needed to buy. I don't know if all schools are like this. On one hand, I want to take her advice and not buy things DD won't need, but on the other hand, I want DD to be well prepared from day one and have everything she needs.

I realize that was no help at all, but that's all I know about college books. Here's hoping someone with a clue will chime in soon!

The bolded is my advice as well. I posted some of this already on the budget board. I have a freshman DD and a junior DS. I tried to get books ahead once for DS but it just didn't work very well. For some of his classes the book listed for the class on the bookstore website was wrong. DS got to the first class and the teacher told them they needed a different book or only needed 1 of the 3 books listed. Then there are the books with online components. If the teacher uses the online component then you can't really buy the book used as the online access code only comes with new books. Some rentals don't come with the online component either. Some of DS's profs used and graded the online stuff, some didn't; DS didn't know until the first class. He also had one teacher who told them to use the digital book only, so he never had to buy the big expensive hard copy. And don't get me started on the University Specific books. We have had a couple of those too - can't rent them or buy used - only place to get them is the campus bookstore at full price. And then there are the clickers...You need them for class participation points in some classes. Luckily, DS was able to get most of his used from some of his older friends.

I hate the whole book racket! 1st semester DS's freshman year due to time constraints, not knowing the system, and him being a bit overwhelmed by his new environment, we spent the most on books - $550 that semester. As I said earlier, I tried ordering a few used online, but in the end after HOURS of researching, I'd only have saved $75, and he would have had to wait 2 weeks into the semester for the books to arrive. $75 wasn't worth stressing him out like that. He ended up getting most of them new at the campus bookstore.

Now I give my kids a set amount of money for books each semester ($500), and they are responsible for getting the best deals. DS figured out that if he put a little effort into getting his books more cheaply, he could pocket the money he saved. That really motivated him! He also never purchases ANYTHING until after the first class. That's is when his profs go over book requirements and make their buying recommendations. Most of his profs have tried to make recommendations that save their students a little money.

ETA: DS's schedule has never been completely set until after the first week of classes. He is usually hemming and hawing over his elective or trying to get out of an 8:00 AM class and into another section, or trying to get a different teacher during the add/drop period. Makes planning ahead hard!

 

[mamacatnv]

I have a question in regards to roomates....what is the law or situation with transgender? I have twin DDs starting college next month. With them and all their friends talking about roommates as of late, I got to wondering how the universities are dealing with transgender issues? What is the law...is there a law? One of DDs friends thinks her roommate is transgender though the school did not tell her anything.

Interesting scenario - I have no idea how universities are going to address the issue, my guess would be that they are not going to and will assign based on the gender stated on the dorm application.
My DD would actually prefer a male roomie and has looked at universities that have co-ed housing.

Just a note of observation regarding roommates.
The best roomie situation my DS had in his 5 years in college was year 1 in the dorm where he and his roomie had nothing in common, didn't hang out together, didn't even really speak to each other, they co-existed and it was fine. They met on move in day, the only exchange was who was bringing the fridge and who was bringing the micro - that was it. The year was uneventful with no drama.
Years 4-5 DS had a room in a house that was only upper classmen all with individual leases arranged by the home owner, this worked well. DS knew one of the tenants but they were not close friends at the time, they are now, their friendship lasted thru the remainder of undergrad, grad/med school and now as adults.
The two years in the middle where he and "friends" were roomies was a flipping nightmare, with squabbling, infighting and drama....oh man, tons of drama!

 

[Poohforyou]

As I type, DD is on her way to meet with her 3 flatmates and have a picnic. She was nervous and excited. I feel bad for her BFF who found out who her roommate is, the other day when she was at our house. From what is on her FB and Instagram, she is very...different...and BFF has a low tolerance for certain things. I told her to think positive going in, and maybe they can just go their separate ways most of the time. But it puts a damper on things, especially when DD is feeling like she may get 3 new best friends in her roommates.

As far as books, I don't feel comfortable waiting until the first day of class, yet. At least for her first semester, I plan on her having everything listed on the site by the time classes start. The total cost is $140 so it's not a huge deal. We'll see about future semesters. She'll have a lot of the same teachers throughout so she'll learn what they tend to do about books. Her cousin gave her one book, that he said they never used, so she'll have that one for free if needed. I bought two on Amazon that I was sure matched exactly what was on the college site. The others she can buy used or rent from the campus bookstore.

I don't know if this will help your daughter's friend, but what I told my daughter is to work on building a comfortable living relationship with her roommate. If a friendship develops as well consider that a bonus. Going in expecting to be best friends with a roommate often leads to disappointment and can end up being a bad situation.

 

[aprilgail]

One of my good friends has a DD who just finished her freshman year in college. Regarding books, her advice was to wait until the first day of class before buying anything. The first semester, they bought everything in advance and on the first day of class, many professors said not to buy a certain book because they will have handouts in class and things like that. For the second semester, she waited until she'd attended each class once so that she knew what she really needed to buy. I don't know if all schools are like this. On one hand, I want to take her advice and not buy things DD won't need, but on the other hand, I want DD to be well prepared from day one and have everything she needs.

I realize that was no help at all, but that's all I know about college books. Here's hoping someone with a clue will chime in soon!

When we went to orientation the college told us not to buy them until the first day and then the professor would tell them what they really need- sometimes they can just buy a code and don't have to buy the actual book.

 

[SmallWorld71]

I have a question in regards to roomates....what is the law or situation with transgender? I have twin DDs starting college next month. With them and all their friends talking about roommates as of late, I got to wondering how the universities are dealing with transgender issues? What is the law...is there a law? One of DDs friends thinks her roommate is transgender though the school did not tell her anything.

I don't want to turn this into a political conversation, but I believe this varies very widely by state and University and that there isn't one answer. I know DS had more than just male/ female as choices when filling out his housing profile. His dorm is one of the newer ones so there are 3 sets of bathrooms on each floor: male, female, and gender neutral. There are some other things in place as well, but I don't know what off hand. I really think they need to look at the inclusiveness of that particular university.

 

[Poohforyou]

I have a question in regards to roomates....what is the law or situation with transgender? I have twin DDs starting college next month. With them and all their friends talking about roommates as of late, I got to wondering how the universities are dealing with transgender issues? What is the law...is there a law? One of DDs friends thinks her roommate is transgender though the school did not tell her anything.

That's an interesting question. I know my daughter's housing application had a lot of choices besides male, female, other. I can't remember all of them.

I don't think my daughter would care one way or the other.

 

[SmallWorld71]

As far as roommates go, my own personal experience was that I met my roommates (in a triple) when we moved in. We had nothing in common, never became close friends, but were great as roommates. I even roomed with them each again at different points. On the flip side, I shared an apartment junior year with several others, including my best friend. My best friend and I were terrible roommates! It's amazing that our friendship survived the year; it almost didn't. So, you never know.

DS has his roommate. They worked together at Boy Scout camp a couple years ago. They seem like a good match but I am glad they have completely different majors so they will have their own thing.

 

[bjscheel]

So the picnic with the roommates went pretty well. They spent 3 hours together. I was anxious because when she got home she was a little evasive and quiet. She did say they were all nervous and there were several awkward pauses. Then she and DD15 left to meet friends at the beach. But when they got back and we were just sitting on the patio she talked about it more and everything sounded fine.

I think DD driving to meet them, alone, got to DH. It was a similar route as she will take to college, just turn off an exit or two earlier. She has driven a fair amount in the city but never alone. I think to him watching her drive away triggered the sense that this was the beginning of her being gone.

On that note though, it sounds like she will be back home the first few weekends. The first Saturday is DD15's birthday and she wants her sister home. The second weekend is Labor Day weekend, so I'm guessing she'll come home for the 4 day weekend. The next is when we usually have a big family birthday party. We talked about how she should make herself stay the weekend at school after that, though, to be social on campus. Plus I'm hoping by around that point she'll have a job and there may be weekend hours. She emailed the screenprinting shop, but I don't know when they will acknowledge her email. She may follow up after a while.

 

[laughinplace199]

So the picnic with the roommates went pretty well. They spent 3 hours together. I was anxious because when she got home she was a little evasive and quiet. She did say they were all nervous and there were several awkward pauses. Then she and DD15 left to meet friends at the beach. But when they got back and we were just sitting on the patio she talked about it more and everything sounded fine.

I think DD driving to meet them, alone, got to DH. It was a similar route as she will take to college, just turn off an exit or two earlier. She has driven a fair amount in the city but never alone. I think to him watching her drive away triggered the sense that this was the beginning of her being gone.

On that note though, it sounds like she will be back home the first few weekends. The first Saturday is DD15's birthday and she wants her sister home. The second weekend is Labor Day weekend, so I'm guessing she'll come home for the 4 day weekend. The next is when we usually have a big family birthday party. We talked about how she should make herself stay the weekend at school after that, though, to be social on campus. Plus I'm hoping by around that point she'll have a job and there may be weekend hours. She emailed the screenprinting shop, but I don't know when they will acknowledge her email. She may follow up after a while.

Glad the roommate meeting went well. I'm sure they were all a bit nervous meeting for the first time, but it's great that they will already know each other a bit once they move in. DD has been stalking her email waiting for her roommate assignment.

 

[mamacatnv]

I don't want to turn this into a political conversation, but I believe this varies very widely by state and University and that there isn't one answer. I know DS had more than just male/ female as choices when filling out his housing profile. His dorm is one of the newer ones so there are 3 sets of bathrooms on each floor: male, female, and gender neutral. There are some other things in place as well, but I don't know what off hand. I really think they need to look at the inclusiveness of that particular university.

That's an interesting question. I know my daughter's housing application had a lot of choices besides male, female, other. I can't remember all of them.

I don't think my daughter would care one way or the other.

DD and I discussed this yesterday, she is done with her summer job at Girl Scout camp and we had a nice long drive home.
She said that on the housing applications she saw, "other" or something similar as a common option. As to disclosure, no one has the right to disclose unless the person wants to disclose. It most likely will fall under privacy laws somewhere I would guess.
My DD does not care and honestly, I think from so many conversations with her and her friends, none of them really care, they have grown up in an except all culture. Its us parents or older folks who seem to have the issues and I tend to see this, most of the teens/young adults really do not care, gender and the issues surrounding it are in DD's words "fluid" they just flow and they really don't take notice.
Now, is that just my DD and her social group or is it common across the board? I really do not know.

 

[yeahdisney]

DD goes in 17 days. She will be there one week prior to classes starting. We are 115 minutes from school. She has most everything she needs to go. She did not buy things to organize her room, she plans on us doing a run after she sets up her room.
This summer she did continue babysitting, working for neighbors, mowing. Earned $251 from her aunts garage sale, very last minute(for 45 minutes we took stuff from the basement, her old toys).
I did not mind that she didn't have a real job. For last week and this week she has fetched DS from summer Civics class offering and then ran him to physical therapy. And many other regular appt. We enjoyed her as an assistant ~ I'll miss that.
She has not met her roommates, she has three. They have connected online and are following each other online. 2 are also girls from our state.
3 of her friends are coming to spend the night this weekend before they go off to separate states for college.
She acquired a BF that she will miss. He is wrapped around her finger. His path is uncharted, he thinks Navy. ( I just saw the play of words)
I see today I acquired the second bill for her room and board.
She has not gotten books yet, I thought it would be easier for her to get them ahead of time, but from posts here maybe I will tell her to wait till professor says what to get.
I think if I have any extra money I will make a bouquet of dollar bills for her.

 

[Mrs. Ciz]

DD got her dorm assignment yesterday. For the first time this year, her university assigned every freshman a time slot, and they had to go on line to select their dorm and dorm room. She got her 2nd choice, but it was her roommate's 1st choice, so all is good. We are almost done getting her dorm stuff. I need to still get a plastic set of drawers on wheels for clothes storage under her bed, a robe (she didn't like the first one we ordered - too thin), laundry supplies, extra toiletries and a medicine box.

Now I am obsessing about stupid stuff like matching headboards and 34 inch drop bed skirts. I NEVER should have looked online at dorm decor websites. We will probably not do headboards. She got a "husband" pillow from Target in her colors for under $14 that she plans to use as a headboard and is talking to her roomie about her getting one too. They are both excited about matching stuff. I am contemplating buying a couple of extra flat sheets to use to cover the under bed storage stuff (kind of like a no sew bed skirt). Another option is to buy some cheap cafe length curtains in her colors and use those as the bed skirt (attached with ribbon or zip ties to the bed metal thing they use instead of a box spring). Not sure yet.

DS moves back to college a week before DD does. He will have a single in his frat house. We already have all his stuff, so only need to replenish a few things, and he is good to go. His financial aid FINALLY came through. He got the expected subsidized and unsubsidized loans but also got a $10,000 scholarship from his university...totally unexpected! We actually emailed the school to confirm it and are waiting to hear back from them. Why would we need confirmation you ask? Last school year DH made a mess of the FAFSA and DS got a Pell Grant in error (DH & son have same name, DH put son's info where DH's info should go, made it look like DS was financially responsible for a minor child [his sister]. We contacted the school, figured out that mistake, gave the money back and jumped through tons of hoops to get the mess corrected). This year we were super careful with the FAFSA and even sent the school our 1040s, W2s and an Asset Verification Form. So we are pretty sure this current scholarship is legit - fingers crossed.

I got a promotion at my school a couple of weeks ago. I teach middle school English at a small Catholic school. I was 3/4 time (29 hrs a wk). Now I will be full time as a teacher and as the Dean of Academics. I am a little anxious about the new responsibilities, especially the book orders and the school day schedules. The schedule is a super complicated jigsaw puzzle, and I am in a holding pattern because we are hiring 2 new part time people . Until we know their availability, I can't make a schedule and Teacher Work Week starts the 15th! I am heading to school this afternoon to unpack books. I gotta do something to make some progress and settle myself down!