Parents of the High School Class of 2017/College 2021

[Mrs. Ciz]

DD18 came home for break on Thursday and then left this morning on a 4:30 AM train to NYC. She is there with 3 other friends (2 girls, one guy). Luckily the guy has been there often with his parents and made all their arrangements. Her train got in at 11:00 AM, and they headed to the hotel (the Wellington - in the heart of everything!) to see if they could check in early. Their standard double bed room was not ready, so the desk clerk UPGRADED them at no charge to a SUITE!!! They have 2 bedrooms with king size beds, a sitting area and a kitchenette. She could not wait to face time me, so I could see it! They have tickets to the Ryan and Kelly show and are going to see about getting Broadway show tickets at the Time Square TKTS Booth. They also plan to do lots of sightseeing. She is so excited! I am happy for her, and I know she has a good head on her shoulders. She's been on trips to big European cities, so she knows how to handle herself, but in the back of my mind I keep seeing scenes from the movie "Taken." I just can't think about it.

DS20 got home late Friday. He had to battle Windmageddon on his way home. His normally one hour and 10 minute drive home from college took 4.5 hours. The interstate was closed in both directions for hours due to an accident that caused a brush fire, downed trees and downed power lines. But he is home now and has been happily playing golf every day.

 

[AustinTink]

My DS just left. He comes home every couple of weeks to spend one night in his own bed. His roommate and he get along fine, but there is still nothing like having your own space for 24 hours.

We are still worried about his dramatic weight loss. 30 pounds lost since the beginning of the school year is a big deal. At this point, he is trying to put some weight back on and it isn't happening. I just hope something starts to work for him.

 

[wannabee]

My DS just left. He comes home every couple of weeks to spend one night in his own bed. His roommate and he get along fine, but there is still nothing like having your own space for 24 hours.

We are still worried about his dramatic weight loss. 30 pounds lost since the beginning of the school year is a big deal. At this point, he is trying to put some weight back on and it isn't happening. I just hope something starts to work for him.

DS does the same. He shows up every 2-3 weeks. Thats a lot of weight loss. Has he seen a dr?

 

[AustinTink]

DS does the same. He shows up every 2-3 weeks. Thats a lot of weight loss. Has he seen a dr?

Well, he had the flu, so he did see a doctor last month and the doc didn't say anything about his weight. I don't think there is an underlying issue, he just doesn't eat enough. He walks all day and then goes to the gym 5 days a week. He needs more calories, but won't listen to me.

 

[bjscheel]

So for those with students who went a distance away, is everything going okay? Anybody homesick or wish the trip home was easier? We see DD19 at least every two weeks, but now DD16 is looking at going to a school that's a longish drive or a short flight away. She's all into adventure and travel so she's excited to consider it but it's making me a little anxious! One one hand, it's probably actually safer to have her fly home than to drive 3-4 hours from a closer school.

 

[Southernmiss]

So for those with students who went a distance away, is everything going okay? Anybody homesick or wish the trip home was easier? We see DD19 at least every two weeks, but now DD16 is looking at going to a school that's a longish drive or a short flight away. She's all into adventure and travel so she's excited to consider it but it's making me a little anxious! One one hand, it's probably actually safer to have her fly home than to drive 3-4 hours from a closer school.

My oldest went to school one hour away and graduated with his Master's last year. Always close enough if he would have needed us, we could get to him easily. Never an issue, in fact, dh worked in his college town the first 2 years.

We now have 2 at school a 5 hour drive away. Older one is in his 3rd year. Younger one is a freshman.

I must say it's harder. Older one has had some medical concerns since early February which required us to be there for a week while he had medical tests to diagnose. He has been managing and sort of recovering okay. His concern is an odd diagnosis which requires a specialist and there is not one in his town. His dr in the college town said the specialist could wait a few weeks and ds will have an appointment with the specialist when he is home next week for spring break. We won't know treatment or prognosis until then. Fingers crossed it's an easy treatment and good prognosis.

I have continued to be in touch with ds, but won't really get a sense of how he really is now until I see, touch and spend time with him. He says he's fine, except that the couple of complaints that sent him to get checked out in the first place linger.

I know this situation is an extreme one. But it has been very trying and hard for me and it has been hard not being able to drop things again for a few days to go check on him just to see how he is.

Other than this situation, it's been okay. The school is where they need to be for their major (same major). Just a little worry when I know they are on the highway traveling to and from school.

I am glad both of them live in the same town and could be there for each other, if needed. In fact, next year they will have an apartment together for 2 years.

But it is different, for me, than having them closer.

 

[sk!mom]

So for those with students who went a distance away, is everything going okay? Anybody homesick or wish the trip home was easier? We see DD19 at least every two weeks, but now DD16 is looking at going to a school that's a longish drive or a short flight away. She's all into adventure and travel so she's excited to consider it but it's making me a little anxious! One one hand, it's probably actually safer to have her fly home than to drive 3-4 hours from a closer school.

My DD21 graduates in May from a school 4 hours from here. Best advice I got was, "remember they aren't ours to keep." This school has been a great fit for DD. She found an awesome perfect fit job for the 4 years and that alone enhanced the experience. She has matured greatly from the experience of having to handle things. That first semester we managed to see her about once a month- Drop off in August, Parent's weekend in September, She came home in October, she met up with us in another state for Thanksgiving, and then it was semester break.

My advice- Choose the best fit school.

My oldest went to school one hour away and graduated with his Master's last year. Always close enough if he would have needed us, we could get to him easily. Never an issue, in fact, dh worked in his college town the first 2 years.

We now have 2 at school a 5 hour drive away. Older one is in his 3rd year. Younger one is a freshman.

I must say it's harder. Older one has had some medical concerns since early February which required us to be there for a week while he had medical tests to diagnose. He has been managing and sort of recovering okay. His concern is an odd diagnosis which requires a specialist and there is not one in his town. His dr in the college town said the specialist could wait a few weeks and ds will have an appointment with the specialist when he is home next week for spring break. We won't know treatment or prognosis until then. Fingers crossed it's an easy treatment and good prognosis.

I have continued to be in touch with ds, but won't really get a sense of how he really is now until I see, touch and spend time with him. He says he's fine, except for the couple of complaints that sent him to get checked out in the first place linger.

I know this situation is an extreme one. But it has been very trying and hard for me and it has been hard not being able to drop things again for a few days to go check on him just to see how he is.

Other than this situation, it's been okay. Just a little worry when I know they are on the highway traveling to and from school.

I am glad both of them live in the same town and could be there for each other, if needed. In fact, next year they will have an apartment together for 2 years.

But it is different, for me, than having them closer.

That's tough! Prayers that all gets taken care of during the break.

 

[aprilgail]

So for those with students who went a distance away, is everything going okay? Anybody homesick or wish the trip home was easier? We see DD19 at least every two weeks, but now DD16 is looking at going to a school that's a longish drive or a short flight away. She's all into adventure and travel so she's excited to consider it but it's making me a little anxious! One one hand, it's probably actually safer to have her fly home than to drive 3-4 hours from a closer school.

Mine is about 5 hours away by car-same by train. The first two months she was home every couple of weeks due to long weekends, her birthday etc- now she was home early Feb for a Dr apt and I won't see her again until college ends on April 25th. Its weird not seeing her for over 2 months but next year will be worse, she goes on co-op from Jan-July so she will be working a full time intern job Mon-Fri and not able to come home other than maybe easter of presidents weekend if at all. I am looking forward to her coming home when school ends and then we are going off on a 13 day road trip just her and I - but then we come home from that and she goes to school in Paris for a month- it's like she is here and turn your back and she is gone again. Right now she is on spring break in Key West and having a blast!

 

[Poohforyou]

So for those with students who went a distance away, is everything going okay? Anybody homesick or wish the trip home was easier? We see DD19 at least every two weeks, but now DD16 is looking at going to a school that's a longish drive or a short flight away. She's all into adventure and travel so she's excited to consider it but it's making me a little anxious! One one hand, it's probably actually safer to have her fly home than to drive 3-4 hours from a closer school.

Mine is in DC and we're in NJ. It's about 2 1/2 hours by train, and about 4 by car or bus. She's home about every month or so. She'll be home on Thursday for spring break and then we'll go down for part of Easter weekend. She's done with exams on May 9th. We'll go down that weekend to pick her up. She doesn't like her roommate so we're trying to make sure she gets time away every month or so.

 

[bjscheel]

Thanks for the replies. The school DD16 is looking at is 9 hours by car so I'm thinking we would only drive for moving in and out, and she would only fly home on longer breaks. We're going to visit next month so we'll see how it goes. The reason I'm considering it is it's significantly cheaper after automatic merit than the closer schools, well more than enough to compensate for travel expense.

DD19 comes home Thursday afternoon through next week except I think she works Wednesday so she'll run back in for that. She didn't get anything exciting planned as her college friends either went home or work and her HS friends have break on a different week. So Friday she'll ride with Dad in the semi to get his new trailer, and the next Thursday and Friday she'll go with DD16 and I to a college visit. In between I guess she'll stay home and spend time with the cats!

 

[lovesdumbo]

I am SO hoping my daughter gets into an apartment with a kitchen, even if she doesn't cook meals at least she can make a pop tart in the morning! I am so tired of this meal plan I have to pay for and she doesn't even use! Its 6,100 for the year for 10 meal swipes a week, of which she typically has 4-5 a week left over! She was done with the choices of food by the second week of the school year LOL. Plus there is NO WAY my daughter eats 6,100 work of food in one school year. There is only 30 weeks in the school year there and that is over 200 a week in food-I don't even spend that on a family of 3 for the week!

My DD won't qualify for apartment style dorms til at least Junior year. She might move to a suite style dorm next year but can only have fridge & coffee maker in suite no microwave. The dorms do have small kitchens but she says it isn't very nice and you have to go to the front desk to sign out the key. She's on an unlimited meal plan. I know she never eats breakfast and doesn't eat lunch everyday but usually goes to dinner and they also have late night after dinner that she goes to often. We pay $2,575/semester for unlimited and she gets $80/semester of money she can use at snack bars or pizza delivery. To drop to 9 meals a week its $2,265 so I don't think its worth the savings. And the school guarantees the pricing for her 4 years there so we won't be paying more.

 

[robinb]

I have to chime in that having them close is not all that it's cracked up to be. Sure, I get to see my DD almost every weekend but only long enough to pick her lazy butt up from school and taking her home so she can get her car and go to her volunteer position for her Rehab Psych class and then again when she drops the car off and wants a ride back to her dorm. It's all so ... superficial.

 

[sk!mom]

I have to chime in that having them close is not all that it's cracked up to be. Sure, I get to see my DD almost every weekend but only long enough to pick her lazy butt up from school and taking her home so she can get her car and go to her volunteer position for her Rehab Psych class and then again when she drops the car off and wants a ride back to her dorm. It's all so ... superficial.

I had friends whose kids went away to school a couple of years before DD. I noticed that a couple of them who were only 1-2 hours away came home every weekend. This was fine, I guess, but they never really bonded with school, new people, their college town, etc... They both ended up back home after graduation.

My DD really cannot come back here as her degree needs a big city so she needed to get used to living on her own in a big city.

Plus, DH and I have loved being empty nesters.

YMMV

 

[laughinplace199]

My DD is a 3 hr drive away, which is perfect. Far enough away for her to stay at school on weekends but close enough that we can get to her easily if needed. Now DS16 is starting to look at schools - some are driving distance and some are schools where he’d have to fly. I’m keeping my mouth shut, but honestly I’d love him to be in driving distance of home.

 

[lovesdumbo]

Thanks for the replies. The school DD16 is looking at is 9 hours by car so I'm thinking we would only drive for moving in and out, and she would only fly home on longer breaks. We're going to visit next month so we'll see how it goes. The reason I'm considering it is it's significantly cheaper after automatic merit than the closer schools, well more than enough to compensate for travel expense.

My DD is about 7 1/2 hours by car. She flew home for Thanksgiving & Christmas direct for just $69 but we can't get her back to school easily-I never even thought that would be an issue. Everything leaves here too late in the day to get her back to the closest city before the last bus back to campus and its a bit too far for a taxi or Uber. We drove her half way back to get an earlier train. Worked well but a long day for us. For spring break we are driving to get her. She wants to bring her hockey equipment home and we figure she can probably bring a few other things she isn't using too much home too as she'll only have 7 more weeks of school when she goes back. Still the school was the best fit for her. She's made some very good friends there and has settled in much quicker than we had anticipated.

I also have a DS Junior in HS. He says he want to go someplace warm-definitely flying distance....

 

[bjscheel]

My DD is about 7 1/2 hours by car. She flew home for Thanksgiving & Christmas direct for just $69 but we can't get her back to school easily-I never even thought that would be an issue. Everything leaves here too late in the day to get her back to the closest city before the last bus back to campus and its a bit too far for a taxi or Uber. We drove her half way back to get an earlier train. Worked well but a long day for us. For spring break we are driving to get her. She wants to bring her hockey equipment home and we figure she can probably bring a few other things she isn't using too much home too as she'll only have 7 more weeks of school when she goes back. Still the school was the best fit for her. She's made some very good friends there and has settled in much quicker than we had anticipated.

I also have a DS Junior in HS. He says he want to go someplace warm-definitely flying distance....

Thanks for sharing. Glad she likes it there! The school doesn't run busses but DD would be able to taxi from the airport, or maybe she could find friends who will drive her in exchange for some gas money. Transportation to and from airport is definitely something to consider, and one reason we have crossed off another affordable school that is 2 hours from an airport. Another plus is that she'd be going south, so the weather will be nicer, and less chance of an issue with winter weather delays at least on that end. I always told the kids if they move away, go south!

 

[bethbuchall]

We're a little down tonight. Housing for next year is on a random lottery system. It doesn't matter when you put your deposit in (as long as it was before the deadline). Dates and times for housing selection are randomly assigned. There is a newer sophomore-only dorm that has double-doubles (two bedrooms that share a bathroom and small communal space). There is one apartment complex that allows sophomores. You need a group of four to apply for either of those. My son has a group of four. Every single one of them was assigned last day for selection which is tomorrow. As of now, both the sophomore-only dorm and the apartments that allow sophomores are full. There are 28 triple rooms left in the regular, old dorms. (I think that's it. I think that the doubles are gone, too, but he wasn't completely clear on that.) One of the boys in his group lives close enough to commute, so he'll probably do that. The other three are hoping that all of the triples aren't gone before their times come up tomorrow. I know that it will be fine in the end no matter what happens, but he was really hoping for a different arrangement next year. So, we're taking a moment to express disappointment and frustration before getting on to making the best of it. I think that whichever boy has the earliest time tomorrow can secure the triple for all three of them. I don't know how early that time is, though. My son's is one of the very last.

 

[J'aime Paris]

We're a little down tonight. Housing for next year is on a random lottery system. It doesn't matter when you put your deposit in (as long as it was before the deadline). Dates and times for housing selection are randomly assigned. There is a newer sophomore-only dorm that has double-doubles (two bedrooms that share a bathroom and small communal space). There is one apartment complex that allows sophomores. You need a group of four to apply for either of those. My son has a group of four. Every single one of them was assigned last day for selection which is tomorrow. As of now, both the sophomore-only dorm and the apartments that allow sophomores are full. There are 28 triple rooms left in the regular, old dorms. (I think that's it. I think that the doubles are gone, too, but he wasn't completely clear on that.) One of the boys in his group lives close enough to commute, so he'll probably do that. The other three are hoping that all of the triples aren't gone before their times come up tomorrow. I know that it will be fine in the end no matter what happens, but he was really hoping for a different arrangement next year. So, we're taking a moment to express disappointment and frustration before getting on to making the best of it. I think that whichever boy has the earliest time tomorrow can secure the triple for all three of them. I don't know how early that time is, though. My son's is one of the very last.

Our DD's college has a similar system. They get their randomly assigned times mid March I believe.
DD said if you don't get a prime time, you are kinda screwed...

 

[laughinplace199]

I think DD’s school works the same way. Sorry your son is disappointed but it sounds like you all have a great attitude with taking a moment and then making the best of it

 

[cats mom]

DD is a little over 9 hrs away by car. She and some friends made the drive for a long weekend once. I questioned whether it was worth it for such a short visit, but there is the draw of home being in Southern California... with Disneyland less than 30 minutes away. LOL
If I know far enough in advance when she wants to come flying is probably cheaper than driving. It seems we're generally working on spur of the moment trips though and that can be pricey.

I think it would be much nicer if she were closer, but she's loving her university experience, so she made a good choice.

We didn't realize how housing was assigned freshman year. Apparently sign up times were based on when you submitted your application. Since DD barely got hers in by the midnight deadline she was in the absolute last group, and all the on campus housing was full. It worked out for the best though. DD loves her off campus apt and has already renewed there for next year.

I'm sorry to hear about students having health or safety issues. That's sooo hard to deal with! Sending all kinds of positive thoughts for a good outcome.