Should you have to get training and a permit to have a child?

[morgan98]

No, I don't think this is the answer AT ALL. However, it is interesting that we cannot and should not regulation reproduction (if that were even possible) because that is something government should not get involved in. However, people that make bad decisions about having children have no problem relying on that same government to provide support in the form of services/cash/whatever, to support that same bad decision.

 

[ReneeA]

You realize some people born into really tough circumstances also deserve a chance in life? There are many of us born into families in extreme poverty to very young parents that have excelled and came out of it with a sense of pride that not only did they survive, but thrived in the end.

 

[Floridaman999]

"1984" watch the movie on youtube.

Oh, I've watched it. 1984 is one of my favorite reads.

 

[amberpi]

Oh, I've watched it. 1984 is one of my favorite reads.

Lol, I referenced it in another thread just a bit ago. It's more powerful now than ever, right?

 

[manning]

You realize some people born into really tough circumstances also deserve a chance in life? There are many of us born into families in extreme poverty to very young parents that have excelled and came out of it with a sense of pride that not only did they survive, but thrived in the end.

my ipad froze so let me continue after very poor
Lost my mother hours after birth
Raised by grandparents until dad got back on his feet
Very poor but didn't know it always food on the table and dry roof over us
I was told before she died she said this child must have a life.

Work wise I started at the bottom of the ladder and retired upper middle class and enjoying a comfortable retirement.

Given a chance you will either succeed or fail. Being born you have a chance to do either.

 

[DisneyOma]

Having worked for 16+ years with some kids who have the very worst parents I have ever come in contact with - I wish there were some repercussions for those who have children knowing full well they can't take care of them. Like, one chance, and if you screw up, that's it. Those that pop out kids and expect government benefits (and they don't spend that money on the kids at all) are the ones that should have to pass some kind of test, IMO. Take government money, expect the government to really butt in on how you raise that kid! I wish it would work that way, but I know it can't. Some would just refuse the money and the kid would suffer even more. I really don't care about the fuss over parental rights, to me it's all about that child that those people chose to create. That child has to come first. You don't treat that kid right, I don't give a flying fig about your rights!

 

[manning]

Lol, I referenced it in another thread just a bit ago. It's more powerful now than ever, right?

Haven't seen that thread

 

[rkstocke5609]

Of course the idea is ridiculous in that it is impossible to enforce even if the sentiment has some merit.

Reminds me a bit of the situation on SYFY’s “Krypton” series (a background issue if you were paying attention).

I have a friend that has been saying for 30 years that prospective parents should have to post a $100,000 surety bond prior to conception — of course equally problematic, and of course money doesn’t equate to good parenting anyways, but I understand the intention of the sentiment.

 

[North of Mouse]

I wish - in some instances!

In reality? NO!

 

[DISNEYSQUIRRELS]

NO. NAH. NOT EVER.
Education, resources & support are what parents & children need.
The OP refers to Adoption Requirements to set the framework for this Procreation License idea....oh boy!

The 21+ year old perfect, happily married, financially stable, disease & trauma free couple you describe do not exist.

Welcome to the human race. We are all flawed. Only Mary Poopins is practically perfect in every way.

OP, there are no guarantees in life. A couple could be stable & ready, so they decide to have a baby- they get the procreation license & head to the bedroom...
Then someone loses their job or their marriage falls apart or someone gets very sick, the woman gets post partum depression & struggles to care for herself & the baby, etc. This is life & it's not perfect.

 

[lisaviolet]

I came up with this

Please don't share it. Praise be.

 

[rkstocke5609]

NO. NAH. NOT EVER.
Education, resources & support are what parents & children need.
The OP refers to Adoption Requirements to set the framework for this Procreation License idea....oh boy!

The 21+ year old perfect, happily married, financially stable, disease & trauma free couple you describe do not exist.

Welcome to the human race. We are all flawed. Only Mary Poopins is practically perfect in every way.

OP, there are no guarantees in life. A couple could be stable & ready, so they decide to have a baby- they get the procreation license & head to the bedroom...
Then someone loses their job or their marriage falls apart or someone gets very sick, the woman gets post partum depression & struggles to care for herself & the baby, etc. This is life & it's not perfect.

I agree with this, but I would add that the best tool to improved parenting skills is to get current parents to remember that they are always modeling parenting skills to the next generation of parents. This includes modeling the skills of parents working through challenges and working together to tackle what life throws at you. And I submit that modeling the need for positive support systems whether it be a couple, or single parent with a close friend. Observing these challenges can only help potential parents of the future..

 

[lisaviolet]

I had a NICU nurse think that about me. Since she never saw me there, visiting, she assumed that I never visited. She figured I didn't care and when he came home, I wouldn't have a clue what to do. She didn't realize that I wasn't allowed to drive and I had to rely on someone else to transport me to the hospital. That meant that I only there from 8am until 7pm. (yes, 11 hours a day) While I am sure that there are NICU parents that are clueless, please remember that you are only seeing these parents at their worst.

I am so very sorry Mary. How awful.

 

[DISNEYSQUIRRELS]

I agree with this, but I would add that the best tool to improved parenting skills is to get current parents to remember that they are always modeling parenting skills to the next generation of parents. This includes modeling the skills of parents working through challenges and working together to tackle what life throws at you. And I submit that modeling the need for positive support systems whether it be a couple, or single parent with a close friend. Observing these challenges can only help potential parents of the future..

AGREED! & parents of today should know, you are not raising the child they are, but the adult they will become, imo.

 

[GreatLakes]

I don't think being a good parent has anything to do with wealth. Being poor doesn't make you a bad parent and being rich doesn't make you a good one. Being a good parent is about making sure the child is loved, cared for properly, fed, disciplined, you actively participate in their education as best you can, and that you are present. It means educating yourself on the basics so you aren't doing damage because you are ill prepared to care for a human life.

Everyone has different circumstances in life but they need to prioritize their child. For example, a parent that travels a lot for work can still be "present" if they make sure they call or Skype home and say goodnight often and when they are not traveling they make their child a priority instead of a second thought.

 

[SydandPaige'sMom]

As someone who is a nurse in an acute inpatient mental health facility I wish it would be possible. Take every horrible thing you’ve read about, seen on tv, or watched in movies that parents can do to children and I hear those stories every day. I see the damage, physically and emotionally that these parents have inflicted on them. I see the after effect of 20 years later and the issues that these formerly abused children, now adults, deal with. I see the cycle, I see the drug use, I see the breakdowns. I have left work many days at the end of my shift and cried in the parking lot or the whole way home for what they have been through. Honestly, while every life is precious, sometimes you feel so horribly for those victims it many have been better off that they never would have been able to be born in the first place. Sadly many of them also end up as successful suicide attempts as well.

Is it realistic. No.

What is realistic is better access to mental help. Mandatory courses in high school that actually help prepare you for life skills. More food banks and better access to affordable child care and affordable housing. Tougher laws on drugs and their ease of accessibility.

 

[BLAZEY]

NO!! However I am all for much more support for parents and children. Not just financial but education and medical support.

 

[TLSnell1981]

I think most parent have on the job training. Some do better than others. I doubt a permit would improve the experience.

My answer is NEVER!!!