Spending money...

[mvazul]

Yeah thats mature...


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Thank you!

 

[STAYC18]

Quote:

Originally Posted by STAYC18

Yeah thats mature...


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Thank you!

You are very welcome...


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[marmalade]

Obviously you've never been to Universal.

I really, truly hope these girls get to choose your nursing home some day.

I have tried to stop posting on this thread, but that seriously made me

 

[ForAandA]

I have tried to stop posting on this thread, but that seriously made me

I know! It sucks you in almost. Just waiting to see what will happen next. Where is that popcorn smiley?

 

[mvazul]

I have tried to stop posting on this thread, but that seriously made me

I know! It sucks you in almost. Just waiting to see what will happen next. Where is that popcorn smiley?

I'm sorry! I didn't mean to suck you back in. I, too, was trying really hard to not post anything else. I did well for a few pages.

Oh - here you go...

 

[leighe]

I feel so,so sorry for these children - even the baby with a bazillion dollars to spend at WDW (While his dad is making $12 an hour and paying less in child support for two children in a year than his wife is spending on a week at Disney). These poor kids are clearly being raised by middle school kids on the set of Jerry Spr

 

[duffy]

Yeah thats mature...


Posted from Disney Forums Reader for Android

Like when you insulted me, and it had to be deleted by a mod?

 

[Nancyg56]

I feel so,so sorry for these children - even the baby with a bazillion dollars to spend at WDW (While his dad is making $12 an hour and paying less in child support for two children in a year than his wife is spending on a week at Disney). These poor kids are clearly being raised by middle school kids on the set of Jerry Spr

This is what make the entire saga so very sad. This woman posts that her DH ex is milking them dry when it is clear Mom is depending on public assistance in order to afford basics. The father of these children does not make a living wage but the OP has no problem spending quite a lot of money on a vacation. She is quibbling over who should pay for souvenirs but has no problem ridiculing the woman who is not overspending and will probably not send money she does not have.

What is becoming very clear is that the DH in this story is not engaged with his kids. The OP spends the better part of the weekend with the children and determines what they deserve and more importantly, what they do not deserve. He seems to have no say in the monetary decisions that concern his children.

The OP has decided that in order for the girls to be the beneficiaries of her bounty the Ex must play the game according to her rules and since she does not want to be BFF's the children will pay the price. When posters try to explain why one behavior should have nothing to do with the other she gets defensive and then goes on the offense. I am why she cares what a bunch of internet strangers' opinions mean anything to her but our opinion does seem to matter. She has accused those of us who do not agree with her tactics of being mean but I saw no nasty posts, even after she started calling people names. When it was pointed out that before referring to someone as an "idot" one should learn how to spell the word she chose to become sarcastic.

I wonder how long before the OP comes to the boards asking for legal advice because her DH is being sued by the State of Ma for child support and now her poor little boy is losing out because Massachusetts is "mean" and an "idot"

 

[purpledisneyprncess]

Yeah I would suggest to NEVER ask a question about Step-Children here on the DIS. I did it twice and got the same reactions as the first. Its kinda funny that its mostly the same ones from the first post. Poster who like to twist and dig and dig until they get you so frazzled it makes your head spin.

ok, I know it didn't take long but I'm back. I guess its cuz I finally have people seeing where I'm comming from. I guess I asked questions on here thinking that their are alot of families and hopefully in the same situtation as me, and are willing to give me an honest answer and not make assumption that are totally ridiculous. I'm sure if your not in the same exact situation then I really sugguest you wouldn't comment, because you don't really know what you would do.

I love my step-girls and want nothing more to make them happy, if no one believes that then don't.

I agree with my orignal question I'm sure I said it would be nice if she did send some money to pick them up something and I also said I would do it myself if she didn't. But, somehow that got twisted to how much resentment I show towards the girls. blah blah blah.

So I thank you,

Do you forget the step-daughter also has a mother that also probably takes her on vacations her child doesn't get to go on?

Will there be a time when you and dad take just your step daughter and not your child?

I'm trying to answer multiple questions here, and I'm relatively "new" to actively using the forum so I hope I was able to multi-quote correctly. lol

Anyhow, magic mom- based solely on the fact that step-daughter is with her mom 98% of the time, it'd be more likely that she go more places with her mom, other brother and family then with us. When she is with us, naturally we do things together, with my 6 year old and 3 year old. She is also a teenager hitting 16 soon so she might not want to continue family trips. Will there ever be a time when her dad and her go places together just them? Absolutely. Will I as a mother to my own 2 children who I have 100% of the time leave them behind? Who would stay with them? Answer would be, Absolutely Not.

Stacy- Do not let the other people that are questioning your love and capabilities as a step mother get you down. This is only a forum and we do not know any of them. From reading your posts alone, it seems you are very loving and caring to your step-daughter. You are dropping $4k on a vacation that includes her, and giving her spending $. I think it's only right that you assume her mom will give her some extra cash to buy things for the mother's side of the family. You are already paying for the vacation, there is no way you'd HAVE TO pay for souvinors for the mother. However, if you don't mind and if it's what the child wants, then go for it- let her pick out something small. Also, I am baffled how child support and the dollar amount came into it- this is none of any of our business!!!

Lynn- My thoughts exactly!!! You're correct- a child that has two sets of parents essentially gets to go on vacations from both parents- assuming each set of parents takes them. I can only speak for our situation, but we are going to Disney when the kids are still in school and her mother already stated she can not get taken out of school. However, next time we go it will be during school break so she will be with us. Now my SD is going on a summer vacation this year with her mom's mom so she is going somewhere, just not Disney.

 

[mvazul]

This is what make the entire saga so very sad. This woman posts that her DH ex is milking them dry when it is clear Mom is depending on public assistance in order to afford basics. The father of these children does not make a living wage but the OP has no problem spending quite a lot of money on a vacation. She is quibbling over who should pay for souvenirs but has no problem ridiculing the woman who is not overspending and will probably not send money she does not have.

What is becoming very clear is that the DH in this story is not engaged with his kids. The OP spends the better part of the weekend with the children and determines what they deserve and more importantly, what they do not deserve. He seems to have no say in the monetary decisions that concern his children.

The OP has decided that in order for the girls to be the beneficiaries of her bounty the Ex must play the game according to her rules and since she does not want to be BFF's the children will pay the price. When posters try to explain why one behavior should have nothing to do with the other she gets defensive and then goes on the offense. I am why she cares what a bunch of internet strangers' opinions mean anything to her but our opinion does seem to matter. She has accused those of us who do not agree with her tactics of being mean but I saw no nasty posts, even after she started calling people names. When it was pointed out that before referring to someone as an "idot" one should learn how to spell the word she chose to become sarcastic.

I wonder how long before the OP comes to the boards asking for legal advice because her DH is being sued by the State of Ma for child support and now her poor little boy is losing out because Massachusetts is "mean" and an "idot"

Very well stated.

I was once told that if I didn't want complete strangers to know what was going on in my life, I had the CHOICE to not post it for all to see. I want to now give that same advice to Stacey. Personally, I think she is getting a kick out of all of this. What other reason does she have to keep this going? Other than the need for always having the last word.

 

[mvazul]

I'm trying to answer multiple questions here, and I'm relatively "new" to actively using the forum so I hope I was able to multi-quote correctly. lol

Anyhow, magic mom- based solely on the fact that step-daughter is with her mom 98% of the time, it'd be more likely that she go more places with her mom, other brother and family then with us. When she is with us, naturally we do things together, with my 6 year old and 3 year old. She is also a teenager hitting 16 soon so she might not want to continue family trips. Will there ever be a time when her dad and her go places together just them? Absolutely. Will I as a mother to my own 2 children who I have 100% of the time leave them behind? Who would stay with them? Answer would be, Absolutely Not.

Stacy- Do not let the other people that are questioning your love and capabilities as a step mother get you down. This is only a forum and we do not know any of them. From reading your posts alone, it seems you are very loving and caring to your step-daughter. You are dropping $4k on a vacation that includes her, and giving her spending $. I think it's only right that you assume her mom will give her some extra cash to buy things for the mother's side of the family. You are already paying for the vacation, there is no way you'd HAVE TO pay for souvinors for the mother. However, if you don't mind and if it's what the child wants, then go for it- let her pick out something small. Also, I am baffled how child support and the dollar amount came into it- this is none of any of our business!!!

Lynn- My thoughts exactly!!! You're correct- a child that has two sets of parents essentially gets to go on vacations from both parents- assuming each set of parents takes them. I can only speak for our situation, but we are going to Disney when the kids are still in school and her mother already stated she can not get taken out of school. However, next time we go it will be during school break so she will be with us. Now my SD is going on a summer vacation this year with her mom's mom so she is going somewhere, just not Disney.

I will assume you missed her - now deleted - post about not wanting to take the girls at all. People shamed her into bringing them along on this upcoming trip. There is history that goes along with this. Her attitude is what is driving all of this.

 

[sukhakuli]

I've read this entire thread, and I really feel sorry for those poor kids. Maybe you should just leave them at home instead of dragging them along and treating them as though they were an expensive burden you didn't want to bother with. You're going to have a horrible vacation. And so are they. And that sucks, because it sounds like they need a little joy in their life. Heck, I'd take them, it would be a blast! Kids that age are so much fun. and it sounds like they could use some adult interaction from people who care about them. The household they live in is totally broke, their dad doesn't give a rats behind about them, their step mother begrudges them even spending money (sure, you said you were going to give them money, but not out of the goodness of your heart. You feel they are a financial burden you should not have to bear, and kids that age are very smart. They know how you really feel deep down). Are you doing anything to make this trip special for them, or are you taking them out of guilt and feel like they should be eternally grateful for your benevolence?

Your son is only 15 months old, and I have not heard one redeeming quality WRT your dh. You hate his ex, don't care for the girls from a previous relationship, your dh makes almost no money and has nothing to do with the girls. Honestly, you need to think really hard about if this is the winner you want to spend your whole life with. If you divorced, do you think he will be any more involved with your ds than he is with these girls? I doubt it.

 

[Missy13d69]

I've read this entire thread, and I really feel sorry for those poor kids. Maybe you should just leave them at home instead of dragging them along and treating them as though they were an expensive burden you didn't want to bother with. You're going to have a horrible vacation. And so are they. And that sucks, because it sounds like they need a little joy in their life. Heck, I'd take them, it would be a blast! Kids that age are so much fun. and it sounds like they could use some adult interaction from people who care about them. The household they live in is totally broke, their dad doesn't give a rats behind about them, their step mother begrudges them even spending money (sure, you said you were going to give them money, but not out of the goodness of your heart. You feel they are a financial burden you should not have to bear, and kids that age are very smart. They know how you really feel deep down). Are you doing anything to make this trip special for them, or are you taking them out of guilt and feel like they should be eternally grateful for your benevolence?

Your son is only 15 months old, and I have not heard one redeeming quality WRT your dh. You hate his ex, don't care for the girls from a previous relationship, your dh makes almost no money and has nothing to do with the girls. Honestly, you need to think really hard about if this is the winner you want to spend your whole life with. If you divorced, do you think he will be any more involved with your ds than he is with these girls? I doubt it.

You are absolutely right. She worries about 'wasting' money on the girls, but she's really wasting money on the whole trip. It's going to be miserable to all, because of her attitude towards those poor INNOCENT children.

 

[Magic Mom]

You are absolutely right. She worries about 'wasting' money on the girls, but she's really wasting money on the whole trip. It's going to be miserable to all, because of her attitude towards those poor INNOCENT children.

Pshaw! They are going to have the best time evah!!! And when they come back, the girls will be calling her mommy and begging to live with her because they could see how fair and equal things were.

At least that's how the trip report will read.

 

[Mama Who]

Pshaw! They are going to have the best time evah!!! And when they come back, the girls will be calling her mommy and begging to live with her because they could see how fair and equal things were.

At least that's how the trip report will read.

 

[TLSnell1981]

Question: if your children are going to Disney with their dad would you send them with spending money....

I wouldn't feel obligated to send money, if the kids were going with their father. IF, I chose to send money? It would be for EACH child, not just a select few.

no we are giving them spending money but when it gone ....but i would hate for them to use their spending money to buy their mother, step dad, and 2 siblings souvieres (sp)...thats all... i think it would be rather nice if their mother gave them $$ and said pick us out something...

I'm trying to decide, who has your panties in a twist, the kids, Mom or both? I'm sensing a lot of resentment, all the way around. JMHO

ok so what am i suppose to call my husbands childrens mothers two other children from the guy she is married to now...

Uh, it depends on whether, they are male or female. Either way, they are brothers and/or sisters.

 

[mvazul]

Pshaw! They are going to have the best time evah!!! And when they come back, the girls will be calling her mommy and begging to live with her because they could see how fair and equal things were.

At least that's how the trip report will read.

 

[tosha27]

Man oh man, I could not make it through this one. I think I might have made it to page 16 or 19 before I started losing brain cells.

The souvenir issue is REALLY REALLY bugging me....

I am just dying to find out one thing, did we ever find out if the Mom had requested family souvenirs somewhere in pages 19-32?

We aren't the type of family that brings back souvenirs for each other at all, so I found the seriousness of this whole souvenir thing a little strange. Who on earth sends money with their kids on a trip and says now bring us all back something? That is not "spending money," that is "buy other people gifts" money. Completely different. If the kid chooses to buy a gift then fine, if not then fine - that is spending money.

Step families or not, kids go on trips without their brothers and sisters all the time (school, clubs, etc.), and since when is it mandatory to bring the entire rest of the family a gift?? I mean I know it is a nice gesture to bring back gifts, but the way it has been described in this post made it sound mandatory. I mean is this common practice? Do people normally give their kids "spending money" and require that they spend part of it buying gifts?

I want to know why OP is so hellbent on the biological mom sending money to buy herself and the rest of the family souvenirs from THEIR trip. Maybe they do not want souvenirs from your trip or just do not care either way?! In any case, WHY does it matter. If your stepdaughters choose not to buy souvenirs for their family members with their spending money, then what does it matter? I mean WHY do you even care?!?!?!

It just boggles my mind.

Carry on.

 

[leighe]

Man oh man, I could not make it through this one. I think I might have made it to page 16 or 19 before I started losing brain cells.

The souvenir issue is REALLY REALLY bugging me....

I am just dying to find out one thing, did we ever find out if the Mom had requested family souvenirs somewhere in pages 19-32?

We aren't the type of family that brings back souvenirs for each other at all, so I found the seriousness of this whole souvenir thing a little strange. Who on earth sends money with their kids on a trip and says now bring us all back something? That is not "spending money," that is "buy other people gifts" money. Completely different. If the kid chooses to buy a gift then fine, if not then fine - that is spending money.

Step families or not, kids go on trips without their brothers and sisters all the time (school, clubs, etc.), and since when is it mandatory to bring the entire rest of the family a gift?? I mean I know it is a nice gesture to bring back gifts, but the way it has been described in this post made it sound mandatory. I mean is this common practice? Do people normally give their kids "spending money" and require that they spend part of it buying gifts?

I want to know why OP is so hellbent on the biological mom sending money to buy herself and the rest of the family souvenirs from THEIR trip. Maybe they do not want souvenirs from your trip or just do not care either way?! In any case, WHY does it matter. If your stepdaughters choose not to buy souvenirs for their family members with their spending money, then what does it matter? I mean WHY do you even care?!?!?!

It just boggles my mind.

Carry on.

I thought that too! It would never occur to me that my daughters should bring me or anybody else something back from a trip. Wierd.

 

[mvazul]

Man oh man, I could not make it through this one. I think I might have made it to page 16 or 19 before I started losing brain cells.

The souvenir issue is REALLY REALLY bugging me....

I am just dying to find out one thing, did we ever find out if the Mom had requested family souvenirs somewhere in pages 19-32?

We aren't the type of family that brings back souvenirs for each other at all, so I found the seriousness of this whole souvenir thing a little strange. Who on earth sends money with their kids on a trip and says now bring us all back something? That is not "spending money," that is "buy other people gifts" money. Completely different. If the kid chooses to buy a gift then fine, if not then fine - that is spending money.

Step families or not, kids go on trips without their brothers and sisters all the time (school, clubs, etc.), and since when is it mandatory to bring the entire rest of the family a gift?? I mean I know it is a nice gesture to bring back gifts, but the way it has been described in this post made it sound mandatory. I mean is this common practice? Do people normally give their kids "spending money" and require that they spend part of it buying gifts?

I want to know why OP is so hellbent on the biological mom sending money to buy herself and the rest of the family souvenirs from THEIR trip. Maybe they do not want souvenirs from your trip or just do not care either way?! In any case, WHY does it matter. If your stepdaughters choose not to buy souvenirs for their family members with their spending money, then what does it matter? I mean WHY do you even care?!?!?!

It just boggles my mind.

Carry on.

No. It is all just speculation on the original poster's part as to whether the mother wants gifts or not.

Personally, I would NOT want gifts from my ex's vacations. Of course, he never took our son on vacation, so I never had to worry about it (he once told me kids of divorce should not be allowed to have fun). But if he had, I would not want anything. My husband and I take our kids on vacation quite a bit (Disney just three times in the 13 years we have been together - we susually do Chicago, Gettysburg, etc.) My son asked once to get something for his dad. I think he was about 7. We let him pick something and WE paid for it.

My ex kidnapped my son in 2005. I didn't know where he was for a week and a half. He also beat the crap out of him two summer ago. My son now has a restraining order against his father until he turns 18 (this August). I couldn't be more disgusted by a person than I am with my ex. However, if my son wanted to get something for his dad while we were on vacation, I would help him find something and pay for it.

Kids should not be punished for the mistakes their parents have made in their lives.