Peter Panic Attack
periods of anxiety combined w/ refusal to grow up
- Joined
- Sep 19, 2008
Day 2 – Magic Kingdom
I believe it was American poet and educator Henry W Longfellow who once wrote “every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad”………or was that British Hogwart’s student Neville Longbottom, whose Gran once sent him a remembrall but he could never remember what he’d forgotten…….and who later ended up on the business end of one of Hermione’s petrificus totalus curses when he tried to prevent her from sneaking out of the Gryffindor Common Room along with Ron and Harry…….because apparently “snitches get stitches” even in the wizarding world……..not to be confused with a golden snitch whose capture is worth 150 points and is the only way to end a game of Quidditch………or by mutual agreement of the two opposing team’s captains…….but that’s extremely rare.
I always get those two mixed up.
Anyway, the following morning when I had grabbed our trusty refillable mugs and headed in the direction of the Sassagoula Floatworks and Food Factory at POFQ, I was cold. And, I wasn’t cold because I was sad. I was cold because I was cold. Now, I know what you are thinking. “Yeah, it’s late November Einstein. If you wanted warmer weather, you should try vacationing when it’s not winter.”
Ok, fair enough. But, I have two comments to make: 1) we’ve been to WDW plenty of times before in late November and this was unusually cold and B) I don’t think we are properly honoring Einstein’s memory by constantly linking him to people’s stupid actions. Now granted, I was decked out for the day in shorts and a t-shirt and I could have chosen something a bit more suitable for a 50 degree morning…….like maybe thermal underwear and a parka.
But, in my defense, I didn’t.
Now, I love walking around POFQ in the early morning. But, I must say that the grounds on this particular morning were especially beautiful. Across the river that runs behind the resort, there was this cool mist hovering in the trees. It kind of reminded me of that Stephen King movie where the fog rolls in and envelopes a small east coast fishing town……except without the awful ending where the main character kills everybody he loves in a last-ditch, heroic effort to save them from the evil fog creatures…….only to find out that if he had waited literally 11 seconds longer that the mist just magically disappeared and the entire army rolled up in tanks to save the day.
And, then they all lived happily ever after.
When I arrived back at the hotel room with a couple of fresh, hot coffees, I started to tell Tinkershell about the mist and the unusually cold weather. Unfortunately, I had forgotten that she was incapable of communication until after she’d had her morning coffee. So, all I got in response to my efforts were some primitive, guttural sounds and a couple of short, stabbing motion with her arm in the direction of the hotel room table where she wanted me to set down the coffees. Seeing as the kids were preoccupied in various stages of getting ready for the day, I decided to take a moment to load up the old fanny pack.
That’s right, I said fanny pack……and I can hear you snickering in the back by the way. It’s just so darn functional, that’s the problem. I know, I know, people suggest a variety of alternatives, including fancy backpacks and European man purses. But, with my fanny pack, everything is right there. If I see the photographic shot of a lifetime, I can have my camera in my hand like Billy the Kid slapping iron back in the old wild western frontier. Plus, all of our park tickets are easily accessible when I need them at the fastpass machines……..and we all know that’s never going away.
As I finished packing up my sunscreen and lip balm, I could have sworn that…….out of the corner of my eye…….and I have extremely good peripheral vision because of my special eye condition that I’m sure you all read about in my first trip report…….I saw Pal Mickey monkeying around with my coffee. This was a real conundrum. Normally if I’m concerned about a potential poisoning situation, I get Pal Mickey to taste it first. Now, with Pal Mickey as the potential poisoner, I’d have to be a total Einstein to walk up and ask him to take a sip.
Anyway, Pal Mickey said he didn’t want a sip. If I recall, he gave some excuse about only drinking tea………or an occasional salted caramel mocha frappuccino. Now I had a difficult choice to make. On the one hand, drinking this cup of coffee might be a fatal mistake that could cost me my life. On the other hand, is a life without coffee really worth living? I decided it wasn’t. Besides, even if Pal Mickey was planning some dastardly payback for what happened to him before, he was no killer. He won’t even eat fruit that’s been picked. He waits until it has fallen from the tree……..and died of natural causes.
So I took a small sip………and then fell to the floor retching and clutching my throat. Don’t’ worry, it was a false alarm. Sometimes I do that. Because, if I fake it, I know I don’t have it. Like, when I think my heart is going stop. I fake it so I know it’s not happening. My family has witnessed me falling to the floor and clutching my chest so many times, they don’t even look up from the tv anymore.
If I can’t make it happen, I know it’s not happening. Then, I know it’s all in my mind.
Next up: MK rope drop
I believe it was American poet and educator Henry W Longfellow who once wrote “every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad”………or was that British Hogwart’s student Neville Longbottom, whose Gran once sent him a remembrall but he could never remember what he’d forgotten…….and who later ended up on the business end of one of Hermione’s petrificus totalus curses when he tried to prevent her from sneaking out of the Gryffindor Common Room along with Ron and Harry…….because apparently “snitches get stitches” even in the wizarding world……..not to be confused with a golden snitch whose capture is worth 150 points and is the only way to end a game of Quidditch………or by mutual agreement of the two opposing team’s captains…….but that’s extremely rare.
I always get those two mixed up.
Anyway, the following morning when I had grabbed our trusty refillable mugs and headed in the direction of the Sassagoula Floatworks and Food Factory at POFQ, I was cold. And, I wasn’t cold because I was sad. I was cold because I was cold. Now, I know what you are thinking. “Yeah, it’s late November Einstein. If you wanted warmer weather, you should try vacationing when it’s not winter.”
Ok, fair enough. But, I have two comments to make: 1) we’ve been to WDW plenty of times before in late November and this was unusually cold and B) I don’t think we are properly honoring Einstein’s memory by constantly linking him to people’s stupid actions. Now granted, I was decked out for the day in shorts and a t-shirt and I could have chosen something a bit more suitable for a 50 degree morning…….like maybe thermal underwear and a parka.
But, in my defense, I didn’t.
Now, I love walking around POFQ in the early morning. But, I must say that the grounds on this particular morning were especially beautiful. Across the river that runs behind the resort, there was this cool mist hovering in the trees. It kind of reminded me of that Stephen King movie where the fog rolls in and envelopes a small east coast fishing town……except without the awful ending where the main character kills everybody he loves in a last-ditch, heroic effort to save them from the evil fog creatures…….only to find out that if he had waited literally 11 seconds longer that the mist just magically disappeared and the entire army rolled up in tanks to save the day.
And, then they all lived happily ever after.
When I arrived back at the hotel room with a couple of fresh, hot coffees, I started to tell Tinkershell about the mist and the unusually cold weather. Unfortunately, I had forgotten that she was incapable of communication until after she’d had her morning coffee. So, all I got in response to my efforts were some primitive, guttural sounds and a couple of short, stabbing motion with her arm in the direction of the hotel room table where she wanted me to set down the coffees. Seeing as the kids were preoccupied in various stages of getting ready for the day, I decided to take a moment to load up the old fanny pack.
That’s right, I said fanny pack……and I can hear you snickering in the back by the way. It’s just so darn functional, that’s the problem. I know, I know, people suggest a variety of alternatives, including fancy backpacks and European man purses. But, with my fanny pack, everything is right there. If I see the photographic shot of a lifetime, I can have my camera in my hand like Billy the Kid slapping iron back in the old wild western frontier. Plus, all of our park tickets are easily accessible when I need them at the fastpass machines……..and we all know that’s never going away.
As I finished packing up my sunscreen and lip balm, I could have sworn that…….out of the corner of my eye…….and I have extremely good peripheral vision because of my special eye condition that I’m sure you all read about in my first trip report…….I saw Pal Mickey monkeying around with my coffee. This was a real conundrum. Normally if I’m concerned about a potential poisoning situation, I get Pal Mickey to taste it first. Now, with Pal Mickey as the potential poisoner, I’d have to be a total Einstein to walk up and ask him to take a sip.
Anyway, Pal Mickey said he didn’t want a sip. If I recall, he gave some excuse about only drinking tea………or an occasional salted caramel mocha frappuccino. Now I had a difficult choice to make. On the one hand, drinking this cup of coffee might be a fatal mistake that could cost me my life. On the other hand, is a life without coffee really worth living? I decided it wasn’t. Besides, even if Pal Mickey was planning some dastardly payback for what happened to him before, he was no killer. He won’t even eat fruit that’s been picked. He waits until it has fallen from the tree……..and died of natural causes.
So I took a small sip………and then fell to the floor retching and clutching my throat. Don’t’ worry, it was a false alarm. Sometimes I do that. Because, if I fake it, I know I don’t have it. Like, when I think my heart is going stop. I fake it so I know it’s not happening. My family has witnessed me falling to the floor and clutching my chest so many times, they don’t even look up from the tv anymore.
If I can’t make it happen, I know it’s not happening. Then, I know it’s all in my mind.
Next up: MK rope drop
)
You have a very similar style of elaborating your adventures. I love you, and your beautiful family, and thank you for sharing your vacation with us. I'm looking forward to ..... the rest of the story.
