Hmmm....my FIl just passed away a couple of weeks ago. In all the arrangements, we tried to think of what he would like done. We would have been happy to do what he would like. But we would maybe have thought differently if he had bizzare requests. He just wanted a standard, basic funeral.
We were horrified at the costs though. Nearly $20k for a very simple service and burial with family handling most of the arrangements! (My DH conducted the service).
During all of the arrangements, I was able to make up my mind what I wanted personally and took the opportunity to tell my family. These are likely a teeny bit different from the normal customs.
I want a simple cardboard box and to be cremated privately (please don't spend $2k on a coffin that will be burnt). PLEASE no viewing of my body - that always creeps me out. Worse is when ppl take photos! My BIL takes a ton of photos of the body at every funeral and I am not a fan. He tried to take a pic of me with FIL amd I just politely (and smilingly) told him, "no thanks - I get creeped out". It also strikes me as slightly disrespectful although I know that is not how many ppl see it. Now I have a pile of photos on my laptop I need to sit down and delete.
Then a fairly traditional funeral service with plenty of photos at whatever church I am attending at the time (or wherever makes the most sense) followed by a meal (preferably in a favorite restaurant) for everyone attending. Maybe an additional day or two of visitation if they would like. Not too many flowers, please. Instead, I think it would be cool if ppl could "buy a ribbon" to display on a wall. That would be a nice, visible sign of the funds I could be raising for some good cause. It would be amazing if my passing could spark a lot of money being raised for something I care about. Right up my alley!
Then sprinkle my ashes in the woods or something and get a memorial park bench in a nice spot. Then most importantly, spend some precious time as an extended family together.
I think they should be able to get away with doing all this for under $5k, which would please me greatly. I have obviously thought about this too much lol.
I'd hope they do what I want. Although by that time I don't think I would care that much lol. If any family members need to alter things to help them grieve better, go for it (as long as NOBODY takes photos/videos of my body. Like I said, I hate that).