I think I'm coming to the conclusion that people are simply not interested in making friends anymore. Perhaps everyone has all the friends they want by this age in life and so they stop bothering. I don't know. This past week it's been really getting me down.
For example, there are 13 kids that get on the bus at my son's stop every morning. Almost all those kids have parents that wait with them and have been for years. One of the parents sits on the curb with headphones on, buried in her phone and ignoring everyone else (going on two years now.) Another would never acknowledge me when I tried to say hello. Occasionally some of the kids will try to play with my son in the big open courtyard where we wait, but their parents yell at them to "Come here!", "stop running!" or "put down that stick!" Most of them never even get a chance to speak to my son, let alone play.
(I do have one "mom" neighbor who talks to me and has been friendly, but her son rides a different bus.)
Every year I give a birthday party for my son. Even when the kids were small and the parents used to stay at the party, I never got to talk very much with them beyond an initial hello. The parties were just too busy and everybody seemed occupied. Once though I had an especially odd party where the parents of 13 kids all sat in a corner while I puttered around taking pics, serving food, directing kids and cleaning up while they WATCHED me. They barely even spoke to each other! It was awkward to say the least.
(I did have a few parties where the parents chatted more, thank goodness! But then I usually don't see them again for another year.)
My husband and I try to set up play dates on occasion. They always go well and the kids have a great time. But the other parents have never reciprocated. Sometimes my son goes outside and looks for other kids to play with, but even though our neighborhood is filled with school age kids, we almost never see them outside. I've tried contacting some parents (different ones than the bus stop parents!) to see if their child can come out and play, and while sometimes this works, these families often so busy, with such complicated schedules, that we have trouble finding any compatible times.
My son has taken regular karate lessons for 3 years. Most of the time, the parents just read their phones or bring work to do with them. I guess I'm guilty of this too, since many times I just read my kindle. Now that the kids are getting older, more and more parents just drop them off and don't even come inside at all.
When my son first started school, I joined the PTA. At the first event I helped out at, I was assigned a job by myself physically distant from all the other volunteers. Every now and then someone would come by and say, "great job!" but I ended up working by myself the whole night.
I tried to join a mom's group when my son was a toddler, but I had a hard time finding other moms to talk to. We went to a "trunk or treat" party the group put on, and we decorated our car really nicely, had music going and candy, just like everyone else, but not a single parent spoke us when their kids came by to our car. After a few events with similar outcomes, I quit the group.
Part of this is probably my fault. I have social anxiety and it's very difficult for me to strike up conversations with strangers. But I can't help but feel like people just aren't interested. I don't know if it's because people are too busy (karate parents, neighborhood parents), too afraid (bus stop parents who won't even let their kids play while waiting) or if everyone is just on social media now instead (on their phones.) I just don't know.
As you can see, I have been seeing stuff like this for years. How are people supposed to make friends? I've been unsuccessful at it. Is anyone else experiencing this?
tired, work ALL. THE. TIME, and am so past being the class mom, Girl Scout Leader, or PTA volunteer.
